[Galadriel724]

I agree on the staying away from people thing whole heartedly. Unfortunately there is a dinner that my boyfriend and I are supposed to attend at his parents. I like his parents, and they like me, but I have not gotten to the point where I am comfortable letting my guard down, so this is not a good day.
When my PMS hits I have a problem with going blank when expected to take part in a conversation- something that is never a problem for me other times of the month. I am usually the person who thinks with their mouth with no shortage of words. I know that some people with ADHD have that problem all the time and I have a better understanding of what they must go through on a daily basis.
Anyway, I asked my boyfriend to tell them that I was sick, and he told me that it would actually be a problem, and since he told me that I am never obligated to say yes when they invite us, I don’t understand why this is such an issue. And, btw, I do NOT feel as if I can say no to going to dinner there, ever. He presents the request and then tells me it is up to me. So I feel like I am keeping him from seeing his parents if I say no. He is an only child and she is your typical jewish mom- food is love, and honestly if I was his mom I’d want to see him as much as possible too. I have explained it but he doesn’t get it. I also told him that for me, as I tend to be really shy and have trouble dealing with family stuff that requires sitting still, it is a lot of work emotionally for me to do this and that every time drains me. He knows I think his mom and dad are supercool, but doesn’t seem to think that he is putting me in a bind by making it my decision whether or not he gets to see his family.
So, now I have his anxiety and stress over what he considers to be blowing them off. I asked him what his reaction would be if I was physically ill and throwing up or something, and he thinks that is different. He is being pretty passive aggressive IMHO. I am trying to ignore that and let it be his issue.
I’m just trying to get the minimum done today so that I can function tmw….
On the up side, my body tells me that I am about to go from PMS to MS in about a day, so hopefully this week will be more productive at work. I get a lot done in the first 2 weeks of my cycle, moderate amounts my 3rd week, and spend the 4th just trying to not get behind….

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

@Larynxa, re: socialized medical care- I don’t know how much it would’ve helped… It would have probably made a big difference but there were other factors at play. I had a fear of dentists, almost a phobia. A bad experience as a kid led me to stop going when I was 16. I had always had good dental care- my mom was on top of things in that regard, but her dentist didn’t like kids and I never thought to mention that he kept drilling after novacaine had worn off at one point. That was the origin of the fear.
I got my tongue pierced in college and a bunch of teeth got smashed as a result- just from chomping on it a few times. Here’s where the socialized medicine would’ve helped. I started getting infections and had a couple of root canals, but couldn’t afford to get the posts and caps. When the temporary fillings came out, I was in the same boat again. It would go, abcess, root canal, pain relief, ignore the problem.
When I hit about 30 my mom realized that I was going to lose my teeth and told me that if I would go to her dentist (same old office new dentist), who she trusted to not do unnecessary work, she would keep paying, within reason. The new dentist was great about the fear and I came to trust her. Got a lot done, at least partially done. Then I had to leave an abusive marriage and ended up 2000 miles away. My mom would only pay for her dentist and I was scared to return home even for a visit. Finally her dentist told her that she needed to let me see someone out here, but by then all the temp restorations had fallen apart and nothing was salvageable. So, I guess, at the point of the beginning root canals and when I moved to AZ, my teeth could have been saved.
Life with a mouth that looks like a meth addicts was limited in a lot of ways. My mom kicked in $3000 for the new smile, and I am grateful.
The dentist that was doing the work before I moved out here was awesome. She told me when it would hurt and for how long, if it was going to and couldn’t be avoided. I attribute that to her being a former labor and delivery nurse- she wasn’t uncomfortable with pain, or telling the truth about it. And nurses rock! I know that because I am one!

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

That was great!

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

Welcome! This site was worth the premium membership cost. You will not be sorry! Great group of people….

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

Don’t be embarrassed- you are taking care of it. I didn’t, and it is resolved now, but had horrific teeth that no doubt prevented me from getting a good job. I am skinny, hyper, and had bad teeth. Usually that = methhead. Unfortunately for me I ended up, due to many procedures started and not finished, lost crowns, and general avoidance of all dentists because I was ashamed to let them see my teeth, needing to either spend about $30,000 to save the 4 teeth that were salvageable, and hook a denture on them (if that even was possible) or have them all pulled and get a full set of dentures. Due to financial constraints, knowledge of my issue with following through, and general fear of dentists, my mom and I discussed it with her dentist and decided to just get em out, and start over. It sucked, more pain than I have had to deal with EVER, but now 8 months later I have a full set of pearly whites that look great. I can eat crunchy foods without worrying about another tooth exploding (happened a lot). I have gained weight and am able to eat healthy again. No caramel of corn on the cob, but my life is easier now.
And without getting into any XXX detail, my boyfriend gets the benefit of a girlfriend with removable teeth. I think that’s every man’s dream.
I don’t recommend my path unless it is absolutely necessary, but it was and I’m glad I did it.
Moral of the story- do what you can when you can. Be realistic and don’t save teeth that are questionable. If I had just had work done on the ones most likely to be fixed and good anchors for a partial denture I would still have something to hook it on to, which would make them less likely to move around and I wouldn’t need what I refer to as tooth bondo to keep them in place.
The good part- I NEVER HAVE TO FLOSS AGAIN! Plus I have the temporary ones that I wore while I waited for things to settle, and am thinking about getting them made into some freaky looking fangs for halloween.
I am, btw, only 37, so the whole thing sucks, but I am learning to smile with my whole face again- I couldn’t smile with my mouth open for a long time. AND I can eat ice cream and chew ice ships like a chap with ice cream headache.
I guess it is all relative… And I did get my dream job that I started 6 days after having them all pulled.

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

I have bright red hair, Cherry Bomb is the name of the color, and it glows in blacklight. Beware of red hair dye, my biggest disasters generally involve the dye going places other than my head. Like on the floor, mirrors, wall, ceiling, my ears, scalp, the back of my neck…. And my fingers look like I won a pistachio eating contest for about a week after I do it myself. The bathroom looks like someone was slaughtered in there. I go and have my colorist do it about every 2 months, because it’s got highlights and I will never again do those on my end. Once I did and it was a horror show. It always works better when I don’t do it myself, but it’s expensive. Actually it isn’t the $, it’s the making and keeping the appt.
I find that any laundry detergent gets rid of most of the red dyes, since they are made of organic materials. I have heard of people using tide on their hair but I agree about the color remover stuff. Tide is good for the parts of my skin that end up red though.

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

I for got to mention what is probably my most common behavior that has to do with the hyperactivity. I hate to sit still, and need to do something all of the time. So, it doesn’t sound real exciting, but I crochet constantly. I don’t finish most of the stuff I start, but it is stimulating and relaxing at the same time. I can make some pretty, ummm, different stuff too. If you look at my photostream there is a one eyed dectopus that I’m pretty impressed with…

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

@Rick
My job is pretty mobile but we have a mandatory 90 minute meeting every morning. I quirm, put my knees against the table, spin in my chair, and make stick figure pictures on my notepad. I also make mind maps on my iphone. And play games. Every once in a while I accidentally activate Siri, which makes a loud beep. Doh! I used to get embarrassed but then I realized that due to the nature of my work, many team members also have the same issues. We all work in psych so being a bit loopy is expected and tolerated.
At one point someone put some action figures on the table (and a Stretch Armstrong). I have endless fun making them have epic battles, which is not annoying to my team members, it’s just amusing. My neighbor sitting next to me often critiques my work and adds to the pics.
I have to go to a quarterly meeting where the grand poobah stands and talks to us for 3 hours. There are mostly neurotypical people at that, so I bring silly putty. It doesn’t help. Still trying to figure out a way to deal with those…
I guess my coworkers really make my job possible. That’s actually why I decided to join the team.

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

I just found this thread, so my 2 cents is a bit late, but that has never stopped me before. Pardon length, I cut a lot out but it is a bit of a novel.
I have had the same issues and questions as the other posters have had. I was diagnosed with panic attacks and school phobia/agoraphobia at age 11. Had my first episode of clinical depression at 18 and then began having moods swings the other way at around 24. I had not been diagnosed with my ADHD at that time, but it was there, when you take the whole picture into account. My dad also clearly had it, and mine presents the same as his.
My mood swings were more like depression and hypomania, except on the upswing the mania part was never the kind that feels good and lets you get a lot done like most mania’s. It was more like a very agitated depression. I was on depakote for years, which helped with the anxiety and probably took the edge off, but my levels got toxic and I was switched to lithium. Again, more toxic levels. After a few yrs my psych NP pointed out that the dose I took wouldn’t affect a fly it was so low. I had been put on seroquel at a low dose for sleep a few yrs back. I have always had terrible insomnia. Lamotrigine was added as an antidepressant shortly after the lithium was started. It’s the only antidepressant that has no chance of causing mania in a bipolar person so was the safest bet. Since I was ok on the seroquel (low dose) and lamotrigine, we just upped the seroquel to the level that it works as a mood stabilizer and stopped the lithium.
I had started treating the ADHD around the time I went on lithium, and was on ritalin for most of that time. It was somewhat effective but not great. I switched to adderall and that turned out much better. Since I started treating my ADHD with a drug that was effective I have had no major mood swings. My psych NP said that she couldn’t really say I was definitely bipolar type 1 because she had known me for a while and realized I was ALWAYS this hyper. We agree that I have some sort of mood disorder. I need the lamotrigine- every time I’ve stopped it I’ve been in a funk and hating life within a week. I wouldn’t sleep without the seroquel, although I cut my dose in half.
I do have another bit of insight that is somewhat unique though. I am a psych RN and did a 2 yr contract at the local VA in the walk in clinic. I was doing the full psych evals on the vets who hadn’t been to that VA before and learned a LOT. What I found was that the doctors often couldn’t tell the difference at first glance because the mania and hyperactivity are so similar. They knew it and usually treated for bipolar first while taking the time to do neuropsych testing and do a more complete history. I developed a knack for asking the right questions to tell the difference or at least make a probable diagnosis. At the VA it isn’t a matter of having a job based entirely on your degree. An RN is allowed to formulate a diagnosis and recommend meds, the MD just has to sign off on it. They told me I had good diagnostic skills and it was fairly easy to find bipolar or ADHD quickly. The hard part is ruling out the other one. Some people really do have both.
So,knowing that I had ADHD and a mood disorder, they found an interesting use for me when they couldn’t tell what the current presentation was. I called it the petri dish method.They would ask me to talk to the patient in my office and then listen in after about 5 min.If we were both speaking fast and going all over the place in one way it was likely hypomania. If we were speaking what I referred to as Martian (it sounded like a different language almost and we were on the same frequency), it clarified the diagnosis of ADHD. It was amazing how I could connect in those 2 different ways and the diagnostic value of the time in the petri dish.
It is important though, to treat for bipolar first if there is any doubt at all. The outcomes are so serious if a bipolar episode goes untreated. It can ruin someones life a whole lot faster than the same amt of time being unmedicated for ADHD. When a person had both the moods were stabilized first and then stimulants were carefully added and titrated up.
In any of the speedy patients who needed an antidepressant we used lamotrigine because it wouldn’t trigger mania. If they seemed to be more ADHD than manic we would switch to wellbutrin for its slight benefit over lamotrigine for ADHD. The most important questions to ask are actually the historical ones. What age was the person when the first symptoms became an issue. If it was lifelong without any times with no symptoms, ADHD. If it started after age 15 or so and had times without impairment, bipolar.
I get really pissed when I find someone who has been heavily medicated for decades for bipolar and has not been screened for ADHD. My moods got better once the ADHD was treated and the stress of those symmptoms was less. I will not say I don’t have a mood disorder though, and am staying on the seroquel because I can’t sleep without it, and the lamotrigine bc I feel crappy without it. I suppose I could stop those meds and it would be clear pretty quick but the risks are too high. My life is crap when I can’t sleep anyway.

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

Duck tape? That was my first impulsive response. I have the same problem and I know that even with tape across my mouth I would probably make as much noise. “mmmph mmph mmmmph!”
I wish they made shut up pills. I take adderall and it helps but not nearly as much as I’d like it to with the motormouth. In one of Russell Barkley’s lectures he explains it pretty well. When kids are thinking they usually have their thoughts spoken out loud in a narrative. If you’ve ever seen a toddler talking to no one, that’s what he means. Usually kids make the narrative silent when they hit about school age. ADHDers tend to not do that as much. If I am thinking my mouth is moving. I recently asked my sister, who has some ADHD tendencies but is not impaired by them, and she said she does the same thing. She also said that if she is by herself her lips are moving but she doesn’t actually speak out loud. When there are people in the room, she does. She knows it doesn’t make sense.
My boyfriend just read the duck tape part and laughed because he knows that it is true.

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

The shift thing got to me too, although I didn’t realize it until I got a job in a clinic that was open “normal” hours.
I’m a psych nurse, and have worked on inpatient units of very type from small private to large county. I did a 6 month contract at the county jail on their psych unit (another world and I would not want to be there permanently). I did the travel nurse thing. I worked in the medicaid outpatient system for a while. Most of the interesting stuff was as a full time staffing registry psych nurse. In Phoenix, they use temps a lot, and the company I worked with had contracts with enough people that I could usually get my 40+ hrs where I wanted. Sometimes I had to work on a unit I hated to make the full 40, but wasn’t required and they paid me enough that I could just say “No thank you”. It was after all, per diem, unless I was in a specific contract. And I was choosy about where I did the contracts. For me, being new to AZ, it was the best way to get a sense of how things work here, which places are adhd friendly, or at least not toxic, and although I didn’t realize it at the time, network like, ummm, crazy 😉
I worked all three shifts. Most of my career though, I stuck to nights. I had my reasons. Specifically because days were so fast paced AND full of administrators that I just got too scared that I couldn’t keep up. And I didn’t want to deal with politics, which is more of a day shift issue. I think that at that time,before I was diagnosed and treated that my limits were much greater. I also hadn’t been forced to really push myself to try new things.
When I moved to AZ 3 yrs ago I came here with 2 suitcases, a carry on, a nursing license and a travel nurse contract. Left my husband and almost everything I owned in Boston. It was necessary, ive now had I stayed. That had a huge positive effect on my career. I ended up getting my 2nd contract cut right after I told him I was done and not coming back. I had to take any shift offered just so I didn’t end up homeless or having to move back to MA. I realized that after 14 yrs exp, I was that nurse- the one that people trust because they know their *%#t. The success led to more success.
I finally found a job that has the support I need with the fun and novel situations to keep me interested, I work on an ACT team. We provide all the assistance that the most chronically ill drug addicted psychotic ppl need to stay out of the hospital or jail. I am the only nurse. We have a psychiatrist and 9 case managers. Most importantly we have a program assistant. He does my spreadsheets, tracks scheduling so that everyone gets seen, etc.
I am mobile a lot of the time. Good fit for my ADHD.

REPORT ABUSE

[Galadriel724]

Quoted directly from an email to my shrink (who has been my loyal prescriber for 10 yrs and is awesome enough to use various forms of technology to keep treating me 2000 miles away).
“I know I mailed you that check. Because it’s not under the front seat of the car, where it was for 2 months. In fact I am almost entirely sure that I mailed it. But I might remember doing that because I procrastinated it so long that it just seems like it. Crap. I have no idea where it is.” It was on the way. Despite my pleading and offers to pay whatever service charge is involved, she has not switched to electronic payments. So I send her double payments, so that stuff is half as often….

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts