[darktendril]

I love the slugtopus, that’s awesome!!

I like cross-stitching! though I have also never actually finished anything lol..  My mom tried to teach me to crochet once, but I never got it.

I also have jekyll and hyde handwriting (ok, printing lol).. when I was a kid, I really really wanted pretty printing like my friend had, so practiced it a ton.  I still print nicely – so as long as I can hold the pen with a super death grip, press hard, and am not mentally tired or trying to write quickly – lol.  Any of those things missing, and you would never even guess it was the same person’s writing… even as the day wears on, my writing quickly starts to nosedive… and the super death grip was the demise of every poor crayon I have ever attempted to use lol.

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[darktendril]

Lol Allan 😀  It’s ok, I’d run too

Thanks kc5jk and Larynxa!

I am really bad for all or nothing thinking, maybe I just need to keep trying..  if only someone found a way to turn real budgeting into some kind of fun video game or something, I’d buy that in an instant lol.  I (briefly) tried to think of a way to make budgeting less tedious, but couldn’t think of anything really

And I agree with what both of you said about the hobbies as well.  I thought I had a brilliant idea a couple of weeks ago, to list all the projects and hobbies that I was still interested in, and just pick a couple to do right now, and not start any more until I finish those… only now I feel like I have to do them, and so I don’t want to as much anymore lol.  Maybe I should just try to stick to cheap or free hobbies and projects.  Then if I lose interest, it won’t matter so much 🙂

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[darktendril]

I don’t have BPD, but I recognize that it can add another dimension to attachment issues.  I do know however, that break-ups can be very painful, no matter how long you have been together.  It is still a loss at any stage, even if only of hopes you may have had for a future with this person, and grieving or a sense of anger is completely normal.  You don’t need to feel ashamed about that!  Take care of yourself.  Distracting yourself with other things right now is a great plan

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[darktendril]

I agree with what everyone else here has posted….  I was hesitant for a long time to try medication, simply because I don’t really like the idea of being on medication, especially if it will not “cure” me.  After my therapist suggested numerous times that I just try it, I finally did, and I do not regret it at all.  It gives me the choice of whether I want to focus on something or not. (Before I had no choice, no matter how badly I wanted and tried to focus, resulting in many many tears..)  I also feel less anxious, as I feel that I have more control over my choices and my life.  It even helps me to do little happy things that I struggled with patience with before, like playing a board game with my son.

The biggest and most pleasant surprise with medication though, is that it seems to have given me the ability to find creative solutions for my own issues, that work for me!  As sdwa says, we all do things our own unique way.   I have read (little parts of) a zillion ADHD books, and I think I have only taken and used one tip from any of them.   Even tips from my therapist who specializes in ADHD are often not so useful for me (Use a calendar that makes me schedule in blocks of time?? Time is flexible, not square! And it does not like to be tied down in blocks either. Now, to convince the rest of the non-ADHD world of that….;))   Anyway, as I said, now I feel like I can solve more of my own problems, in my own ADHD-friendly way 🙂 And if I ever stop taking medication, for any reason, I will still have those tricks and systems.

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[darktendril]

Sar316, I have that same issue – I normally have no problem speaking, but sometimes if I feel anxious about making a good impression, I seem to lose control of the filter that translates the swirling vortex of thoughts in my head into intelligent conversation.  If I just let the words flow, I become that blubbering idiot.  On the other hand, if I think too much about what I am going to say beforehand, it comes out sounding over-controlled and weird (at least to me).  Sadly, because of this, I will sometimes have something to say, and just not say it, if it seems like too much effort..

Slowing down though does seem to help.  I have not tried slowing down my actual speech, as Larynxa suggested, but I think I will.  That might take some practice though 🙂  If I have to give a presentation or something though, sometimes I will stop to take a sip of water, if only to give myself a second to recollect my thoughts.

I think working on somehow reducing or working with the anxiety is also a very great idea.  Anxiety can actually shut down parts of your brain needed for logical thought.  Before you have to talk to someone who makes you nervous, visualizing the outcome you want (that you are speaking confidently and intelligently) is supposed to help.  Make sure you are not visualizing things that you don’t want to happen, or worst-case scenarios.  I think that a lot of ADHDers are bad for negative self-talk, which doesn’t help at all.  Sometimes when I catch myself criticizing myself in my head, I imagine that the words are coming from a talking goose.  lol.  I don’t know why a goose, maybe because it is hard to take insults coming from a goose seriously 🙂 you’d have to pick what works for you.  I usually insult the goose back.  And it is just silly enough to make myself lighten up  🙂

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[darktendril]

This is probably way off-topic, but I know I refuse to call ADHD a mental illness.. I am not mentally ill and neither is my ADHD son, and if a doctor or anyone else asks me about mental illnesses I will deny any.  I am entirely in touch with reality, or at least my version of it lol.  A mental disorder though, I will accept..  I have crossed out the word “illness” and written in “disorder” on more than one form.

I was also surprised when I found out that tic disorders (which my son has) are listed as a mental disorder.  It seems physical to me…  Seizures originate in the brain, but they are not classified as mental disorders.  Anyway..

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[darktendril]

Lmao I have also done that…. looked everywhere for my keys, only to find them still in the ignition, car running.  I have also locked my keys in the car, with the car running and gas tank on Empty (I usually wait til the Empty light comes on, then drive some more, before I get gas. Is that ADHD? Or just stupidity lol?).  Anyway, I get great value from my AMA Roadside Assistance plan 😉

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[darktendril]

You could ask your doctor about non-stimulant medication maybe?

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[darktendril]

My high five.. It is a tiny thing maybe, but I went to Walmart to pick up a few things, and just for fun I decided to see if I could remember everything without looking at my shopping list, and I did!!!  I also ended up getting a bunch of stuff that wasn’t on my list at all, but oh well……  🙂

I recently finally gave in to my psychologists’ recommendation to try medication, and while I don’t think it has suddenly given me amazing focus or anything, it is still a huge improvement over my non-medicated focus.  Little things like remembering what I went to the store to buy are proving that to me.  Also, being able to (mostly) pay attention during Totally ADD webinars!!  I have gone from catching about 30% of what is said to closer to 85% 🙂

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[darktendril]

I had a EAP therapist briefly, it did not really work out for me either.  She ignored the meat of any issues I had, and instead wanted to talk about “fluffy” things, like metaphors on how I can relate my life to various bugs or animals… when she asked me to write a list of everything that I had control over in life, things like “getting dressed” and “brushing my teeth”, I drew the line and quit going. lol

That said, I do currently have a therapist who specializes in ADHD.  I don’t feel like she really listens to me either, and she doesn’t really seem to get some of the things that I say, but she does give some good concrete tips.  Probably similar to a coach.

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[darktendril]

hi Larynxa!

Yeah I have a light box, and have also tried exercise, omega 3, St. Johns wort, all that kind of stuff….  unfortunately I didn’t really find any of those things to work very well for me, I think I get into it too deeply.  This year was the first year I was ever put on a prescription anti-depressant (for the aforementioned panic attacks lol, not even for depression) but it made a HUGE difference, and I am now kind of kicking myself for just trying to tough it out by myself all those other years..

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[darktendril]

I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD at 31, same time as my 11 year old son was..  not on any medication, yet, but I am really considering it and my therapist recommends I do..

I have also had seasonal affective disorder since the age of 15 or 16.  I didn’t think that I had any other problems like OCD or anxiety or anything, but as my therapist reminded me today, I have been treated in the past for panic attacks.. so maybe I just always have anxiety and don’t know any different?  It feels like normal levels of anxiety to me anyway, I would not describe myself as an anxious person.   So I’m not sure on that one lol.  SAD, definitely

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[darktendril]

I used an anatomy and physiology coloring book lol

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