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February 23, 2013 at 5:25 pm in reply to: Can a person with ADD/ADHD start a group for ADDers. #119184
Evelyn, I don’t have a magic wand, though it would be lovely, wouldn’t it? What does sleeping on the couch mean to you?
REPORT ABUSE@Evelyn, oops, the link doesn’t work.
I, too, find it difficult to break big tasks into little pieces. I have a couple of strategies for planning, but “Big task? Plan out each step!” is far too broad for me.
REPORT ABUSE@Cayjam, I just want to second everything said here. Your first and most critical step is to get back to the psychiatrist and, if at all possible, seek ongoing therapy. Good cognitive therapy for ADHD has been shown to be especially helpful for issues such as yours–sleep, sensitivity, etc.
You are young–please don’t wait to get help. You’ve heard from us more experienced folks. Having ADHD will never be super fun, but your life will be immeasurably better if you begin treatment now.
REPORT ABUSE@Marcelyne, in discussing ADHD with your fiance, or with anyone who doesn’t “believe” in ADHD, it’s good to them ask to explain. Listen openly and without defense. There are many reasons people feel this way and those reasons can be addressed once they’ve had their say.
I wholeheartedly agree with Allan Wallace–your fiance must be come to a basic understanding of ADHD. He may come even come to his own conclusion that you have ADHD when he is told about the genetic component, which will make discussions that follow easier.
REPORT ABUSE@Allan_Wallace, EMT=Emergency Medical Technician
Don’t feel stupid. People use insider jargon all the time and forget that others are unfamiliar with the acronyms and terminology.
My husband works in aerospace and all they do is talk in what’s called “alphabet.”
REPORT ABUSE@Evelyn, this is a difficult situation and I feel for you, but not all hope is lost. As a side note, I suffer from enormous difficulty finding my way around and wouldn’t have been brave enough to take a job driving like that. So good for you and shame on that company for not finding a way to help you.
Hyperfocus and motivation are a plague for us. Please bear with me while I suggest 2 things:
A book about self-coaching by Nancy Ratey,The Disorganized Mind.Your local library may have a copy or be able to get it from inter-library loan. There is also some good information on the website:
http://www.thedisorganizedmind.com/adhdselfcoaching/what-is-self-coaching
Therapists and ADHD coaches tell us ADDers benefit from developing a routine and habits.
Stanford University behavior researcher BJ Fogg offers a one-week, free “course” called “3 Tiny Habits.” It’s a way to embed 3 small habits into your daily life by attaching them to a habit you already have. (He explains it pretty clearly.) You sign up on the website (below) and get daily check-in emails. There is no hidden cost or catch–this is part of Dr. Fogg’s research (you can remain anonymous if you wish).
REPORT ABUSE@Ivriniel, you make an excellent point and it no doubt will be interesting to see how he feels and acts once the dust settles. I imagine, even he does have ADHD, his symptoms will improve considerably. I know that when I don’t get enough sleep, even with medication, my symptoms are much stronger.
It’s quite remarkable that Mr. Ivriniel has managed to function at all! That’s quite amazing.
REPORT ABUSEOh, @Marcelyne, this is such a painful situation. I understand your reluctance to reveal your diagnosis to your fiance.
I hate to be so blunt, but you are setting yourself for a world of trouble if you go much deeper into this relationship without reaching a place of understanding with your fiance. I’ve been married for almost 25 years, I’m a stepmother, have an ADHD son and have ADHD myself, so I know what you and your fiance are walking into.
So before you do talk to your fiance, prepare yourself. You mention you are new to a diagnosis. Are you starting therapy yourself? Is your son in a therapist’s care?
In an ideal world, someone your fiance respects who understands ADHD could explain it properly to him. If you and/or your son are therapy, it’s likely the therapist would be willing to bring in your fiance for a session. In fact, as your fiance integrates in your life, it will be imperative that he understands the ramifications of ADHD. If not a therapist then, perhaps a member of the clergy or a knowledgeable friend, as long as that person really understands ADHD.
But, of course, we don’t live an ideal world, so I’m going to suggest some resources. I’m sure others will jump in. You know your fiance better than we do, of course (duh). Reviewing these resources first yourself will enable you to become more comfortable expressing yourself knowledgeably about ADHD. Then you can decide what to share with him to begin helping him understand ADHD.
The videos right here on http://www.TotallyADD.com are outstanding, both the humorous and the serious professional ones. The funny ones can be great for being non-threatening yet informative. For the serious ones, I’m especially fond of those with Dr. Jain, but they are all good. Sometimes watching a video gets the job done better than a lot of reading. Also, Dr. Ed Hallowell has some excellent videos on YouTube.
In addition to the book @Amy recommends (“It It You Me, or Adult ADD?” by Gina Pera), Dr. Ed Hallowell has several excellent books about various aspects of ADHD in adults and for parenting. I particularly like Dr. Hallowell’s “Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood.” Dr. Hallowell’s website also has a lot of useful information as well.
I’ve known people whose views have gone from scoffing to understanding, though it doesn’t usually happen overnight. This may be hard for you to face with your fiance, but it will be worth it in the long run.
REPORT ABUSEFebruary 12, 2013 at 5:15 pm in reply to: any advice for taking Anatomy and Physiology classes in college #118980Also, forgot to mention, know your learning strengths. Knowing going on in that you have an extra challenge will keep you alert to picking up some tricks and figuring out what works for you.
For me, I can’t learn random facts. But if I attach them to visuals or something meaningful (even if I have to make up a backstory for it), I can remember forever. Mnemonics work for me, but I have to have a trigger to remember the mnemonic. So sometimes I put the mnemonic into a song. Stuff like that.
REPORT ABUSEFebruary 12, 2013 at 5:08 pm in reply to: any advice for taking Anatomy and Physiology classes in college #118979@Phoenixmagic, sounds like a good plan. I believe you’ve mentioned elsewhere that you take meds and regularized your daily and sleep schedule. That’s very important. Do your best not to get behind in the work. And sometimes have an “accountability” partner can help avoid procrastination.
REPORT ABUSESomeone (maybe Dr. Hallowell, not sure), described the effect @Larynxa refers to as “0 to 11” as, not so much that our emotions are actually higher than others. Rather that our hardwiring bypasses the gate on emotion others have. In other words, neurotypical people’s emotions are naturally intercepted in a way ours aren’t.
Oh, and while we’re on the topic, one of the ways therapists recommend to vent some of the wrath and other emotions is to keep a journal and write about what we were feeling throughout the day, especially about stressful and enjoyable moments.
REPORT ABUSE@Blue Yugo, my daughter says she does see number 1 as white. So I guess she’s a “normal” synesthete.
On the few occasions that there’s been reason to mention her synesthesia, people seem to think it’s very cool. But, yeah, it’s not a good “blurting” topic. (Is there a good blurting topic? Because I could use one.)
REPORT ABUSE@Phoenixmagic, yes, it seems pretty common with ADHD. I agree with what’s been said here and would like to add something a professional said about this: It’s very important to not let emotions build up.
For me (and my son has a similar problem), expressing my displeasure early on (in an appropriate way, of course) has reduced the anger significantly. This is easier said than done, to be sure. But I do find that a lot of little things aren’t turning into big things now.
REPORT ABUSE@Sar36, life changes like this are difficult. For me, in situations like this, I’ve had to just accept that I miss aspects of the old life and set my sights on the new.
You are still relatively new to a diagnosis and are learning a lot about yourself. How wonderful that you are recognizing the importance of changing your schedule and making adjustments to your life.
As you go on your new path, you can use this awareness of what you enjoyed in the EMS job and incorporate that into the new life you’re developing.
It’s not going to be easy, going back to school with such a rigorous curriculum, but it sounds like you’ve made a good, well thought out decision. Best wishes!
REPORT ABUSEI have always been a somewhat clumsy but I have a good eye-hand coordination in focused situations. I suspect that the focused eye-hand coordination was greatly enhanced by training and certain life experiences. In situations where my focus is divided I do have failures, like grabbing for something and missing during conversation.
Are there certain identifiable situations that bother you?
I drop things like crazy, especially my keys and the phone, so I’ve been working on being more mindful when I grab them which has helped considerably. I’ve also been strengthening my legs and practicing balance and that’s helped some with stumbling over stuff. Still, if I’m not paying attention, all hope is lost.
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