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I do this but I’m improving. Usually I do it to emphasize a point after I’ve rambled on a bit. Now that I’m aware of it (and how annoying it is), I’m stopping myself more.
Do you have a particular pattern or situation that makes you more prone to talk in circles or repeat?
REPORT ABUSEApril 9, 2013 at 3:57 pm in reply to: A possible replacement for trial-and-error prescribing? #120063Just today I heard about this doctor, Charles Parker, author of the book, New ADHD Medication Rules: Brain Science & Common Sense.He claims to have advice to reduce trial-and-error medicating.
I have not read this book and for all I know he is full of crap, but judge for yourself:
REPORT ABUSEMy son has this problem as well, for the same reasons. Besides reminders from m, one thing he does is read aloud in a clear voice. Practicing like that can help.
My therapist recommended taking a small breath before speaking to slow down blurting out an ADD-fueled response. I find this can work, although it, too, takes some practice. This is a mindfulness technique and mindfulness practice can help you “stay in the moment” which might give you enough mental space to slow down your verbal pace.
REPORT ABUSELOL, you’re welcome, @Babylo, this is how the conversation would go if we were in a room together.
I take notes as well, but that’s not always feasible. I’m trying to learn to not over-explain, to state the Big Point first, then let others ask questions if needed.
One thing I’m having some success with is to ask questions, either in response or after a sentence or 2. I’m getting better at this.
What have you been trying, Babylo? 😉
REPORT ABUSEApril 6, 2013 at 3:36 pm in reply to: Stressing out during chaotic situations…advice please! #120029@Phoenixmagicgirl, is the freaking out when it’s busy different now? Is this a new thing or are you recognizing it now since sometimes you’re calm?
REPORT ABUSE@Babyjo, oh, it’s tough. The only way I can do it is to think about the situation I’m going to be in and firmly tell myself that I will listen and maintain eye contact. Also, I tell myself that my opinion/thoughts are not critical to discussion. That sounds like low self esteem (it’s not), but it does reduce the number of times I feel the need to interrupt.
When I first started this little routine, when I didn’t want to over-talk, beforehand I wrote down my fears, my plans not to talk, etc. And that’s great, if that’s what it takes. But I find that it’s difficult to make myself do the writing. Now I just do the self-talk.
That’s all I got. No silver bullet unfortunately.
REPORT ABUSE@Wyowildflower39, doctors often overlook the difficulties facing parents when they diagnose children. I hear you–all the advice about structure in the world isn’t going to magically make it happen.
Is there a reason the doc put you just on Wellbutrin rather than trying an ADHD med as well? I know people who have had success with simultaneous meds, but, of course, everyone is different.
My son has ADHD as well as some co-morbid anxiety and auditory processing disorder. It’s taking a long time to peel away all the layers of what is going on with him. At first, I was sure it was all just the ADHD.
At least 50% of people with ADHD have co-existing disorders like anxiety, bipolar or others, as well as learning disabilities of various kinds. Very challenging.
REPORT ABUSE@Fabulous, I’ve had that experience too. I have often felt I should prepare to go to prison, although, as yet, I have done nothing felonious. Oh, anxiety! Such fun!
REPORT ABUSEI’m in total agreement with @Rick, for what that’s worth. It’s a touchy subject for many people for many reasons, plus it might create an intimacy that your boss may be uncomfortable with.
REPORT ABUSEEvelyn, it takes practice. I’m certainly not perfect, I get carried away. I put a lot of thoughts onto the page. Then I try to be Texas Chainsaw Killer ruthless.
Writing succinctly isn’t about distilling a thought into one sentence. It’s about clarity, eliminating the unnecessary, refining the message. I understand Larynxa suggested giving some space between thought changes, but if there are 5 thoughts, well, there are still 5 thoughts. Keeping to 1 or 2 topics is the most readable.
If you want to delve deeper, Google “writing for the web best practices” or “writing succinctly.”
REPORT ABUSEMarch 21, 2013 at 11:39 am in reply to: Can a person with ADD/ADHD start a group for ADDers. #119795Evelyn, I apologize for sounding curt. I would never want to discourage you from expressing yourself here on the site. I’m glad you’re making headway on forming a support group. Very promising news!
I was concerned you were becoming convinced lengthy online communications were no problem as long as they were formatted with white space. In starting a support group, especially, your messages are going to need to be succinct and clear.
REPORT ABUSEEvelyn, I don’t know if you need or want more from this thread. I read your last post yesterday and have been thinking about it. I can only advise you to draw upon your patience in pulling together a support group. People respond in their own time and often need reminders.
I feel the need to address the issue of long posts. Yes, I write them but I shouldn’t nor should you. People read differently online. These 2 articles explain it better than I:
http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/the_browser/2008/06/lazy_eyes.html
http://www.nngroup.com/articles/be-succinct-writing-for-the-web/
REPORT ABUSE@Fabulous, I also read Peter Bregman regularly and I agree with you (and Bregman) in principle. I’ve found that I do much better if I just turn off my brain. What term would you say is better than motivation?
REPORT ABUSEEvelyn, it is hard for ADDers to stay on target, which is why it’s important to lay out guidelines beforehand if you’re going to have a support group that helps people make progress. Having 2 coordinators can help get the meeting back on track if one falters. Then having a social time at the end can give people a chance to conversationally wander as much as they want.
Also, I understand that caregivers are mostly overworked and underpaid. Perhaps there is something you could start as an entrepreneur, like paid trips to take people to doctors and shopping.
REPORT ABUSEEvelyn, it goes both ways. Your resilience is amazing. Sometimes it’s hard to relax with people who don’t get it. It’s nice to be able to talk to your own kind. That’s why I know if you started a support group, it would be so welcome.
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