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Misswho23

Misswho232012-11-13T13:00:41+00:00

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  • in reply to: Grief #124368

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    I haven’t been on here for a little over a year now. I finally got back on and saw the post grief. The reason for my own absence is that after one of my lasts posts back in dec 2012 My mother passed away the day before new years eve. And my life has been quite chaotic ever since.

    @dithl, I’m no sorry to hear of your mother passing. My mother too had been ill and while it was not unexpected too soon for my sister and I. So I know what you are going though.

    Over the last year I have thought a lot of everyone here on the forum’s. And although I couldn’t bring my self to post anything I am so grateful for the time I spent here. Simple things I learned about being organized helped me get through the funeral planning. I was the executor of the estate and I don’t think I could have done it without having some of the conversations about getting through life and getting tasks done on here. All before my mother passed on but now I can look back and see what being involved on the forums prepared me for.

    Not to go on about my own stuff, I guess it goes to show just what this place has become to so many people. Not just a fun place to figure out how to live with ADD/ADHD. But a place to help us get through the really big stuff. When it really matters to know your not in this alone. I think having ADHD makes me feel things a bit more intensely. So knowing there are people like me helped me make it through one of the toughest times in my life.

    I just wanted to post how this place helped me to get through it. Even though I wasn’t on here this past year. I plan on coming back.

    Thanks.

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    Misswho23
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    Post count: 146

    Those are great. I give a hugh sigh of relief that I’m self employed this year and the only holiday party I will be having well… will just be myself taking the night off. So the only worry would be if I decided to post things on face book. Fortunately I gave up drinking a while ago so I think I’m safe. No videos of my cats and the dog singing christmas carols and such.

    Oh the nice memories of company christmas/holiday parties past can just stay in the past. Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

    One so so boring I fell asleep and there was no alcohol being served at that one. Just boring as hell.

    Oh but here is a good one. Once it was at the home of the company boss and when we arrived guests had to remove their shoes or wear those surgical booties over shoes so the carpet didn’t get dirty. Image all the corporate holiday dress with blue paper booties on their feet and women in heels. It was hysterical. I’m lucky that I had on nice black solid socks with no holes and slacks. I planned ahead because I have learned about planning with my ADD. It paid off and could pass on the blue booties.

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    in reply to: Having ADHD Co$T$ Money #117070

    Misswho23
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    Post count: 146

    oooh ditto paper.

    Happy to post that my sale went really really well. I met some other jewelry designers as well and got to pick up on a few tips from them.

    Somehow I even manages to be one of the first people there ready to set up and that was with a trip back to the house to make sure I locked my front door! That was really my only mishap. Yea!

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    in reply to: Having ADHD Co$T$ Money #117068

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    good morning all.

    I’m heading off to do my second jewelry festival type sale. I posted the other day that I was not doing so well. Fabulous thanks your post it helps! I’m feeling a bit better and the migraine that was derailing me seems to be lifting a bit. Always that feeling of being the kid who is always running behind and trying to keep up with the rest of the group. But the group is in my head now.

    I’ve read over the past posts on this thread and am feeling less alone that I’m not the only one who had racked up a ton of costs both financially and emotionally.

    So I’m putting out there today will be a day that having ADHD will make money! That my creativity and tenacity willingness to keep trying against all odds and staying as optimistic as I can will pay off.

    I’m going to be mindful of the good stuff in all of us today.

    And wish everyone success. Even in just trying to find the car keys, not have marker on your forehead (love that one) and to use the black sharpie properly and not just sit there and sniff it. (that last bit is for me. I love the smell of markers)

    Misswho :-)

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    in reply to: Having ADHD Co$T$ Money #117063

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    The coast of ADD? I don’t really even want to communicate with anyone right now. I’m having an ADD melt down as I call it.

    I’m trying to get together a bunch of new jewelry designs for a show this weekend. I’m panicked because I need the money. My hours at my job have been drastically reduced. I need the extra money to refinance my house which will probably happen on the 24th. Happy Christmas eve.

    And I’m beating my self up for all the credit cards that I’m still paying off. Party due to my own fault and another part because I had to use them to make ends meet. So now after I’ve worked so hard to get all the balance down and they could just go away if I had the income to just get that last part paid off. And I’m trying to get just enough money in to pay my utilities.

    The part that’s getting to me is that I have lots of stuff I wanted to make to sell. I got some stuff but feel I could sell much more but have run out of time. I still have tomorrow though. And of course I’m getting a whipper of a headache that’s making me work slow.

    And in the midst off all that I’m going down past jobs memory lane to all the times I felt I could have done better or made better choices for myself. I know this does not help. But in a melt down it’s hard to see the positives.

    So I guess I’m posting this because the last time I had a good sale I told you all about it. You guys put in good vibes for me and it was a great day. Just hoping tomorrow I will feel better.

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    in reply to: Why does Adderall make me feel worse? #117604

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    I’ve noticed that if I take the whole 10 mil of adderall I just want to sleep. I call it comatose land. I’ve found that 5 mil. is a better dose for me. I’m alert and focused and not wanting to go right to sleep.

    I read in Dr Halowell’s book driven to distraction some people only need a small amount to do the job.

    My sister however does not like adderall and it did not work for her like it has me. Everyone responds different.

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    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    “Um. What you’ve been doing, and the way you’ve been doing it, isn’t cutting it anymore, you’re stagnating. Something has to give. It all sounds so familiar, most all of the symptoms… maybe this is what ADHD-I looks like, quietly making itself known.”

    That sentence so well sums up my undiagnosed experience with ADHD. It was getting to that point over and over that I finally gave in and decided to try the meds. Took my therapists 6 months to get me to take meds. Even after I accepted the ADHD. Also m y job at the time was coming to a crashing end with the undiagnosed symptoms.

    A few important things I have learned after staring medication.

    1. It’s not a cure all. It will help and for me they really do a lot. But I still have off days.

    2. Have some goals set as to what you would to see in your life/work etc. in relation to the meds working.

    3. Consistency along with being on the right ones.

    4. What times of day are my peak times when the medication and my mind seem to be firing the best. Use that time to set out to accomplish the most. Lower level times to work on less demanding things. I thought I should just be “on” all of the time.

    For me I need a low dose of adderall and a low dose on citalapram. Took me a while to see the difference but now when I’m off them I can really tell.

    Also although it may seem not so great to find out you have this I wish I would have had treatment when I was 27 in school for a design degree. My intelligence had already caught on that I could not learn the same way that was taught in the public school systems here in the US. I know instinctively I had to go about things different in order to learn. From an early age I seemed to know that I did not learn the same way as everyone else. And that didn’t make any less smarter than anyone else. Overall I did well in college and was on the Dean’s list when I graduated. But I think medication could have sorted out a lot of the stuff that was still causing a lot of stress. And could have made somethings easier. Some stuff I probably would have still stressed over. As it is my way. LOL

    For hard classes or ones I could not learn in a lecture environment so I would find a tutor or a coach. Usually a student who got it better but also ones that had a desire to share what they knew. I could ask them to explain what part I didn’t get. Which usually was just a missing component but I knew the rest of it. I just needed the”connector” of the information.

    For some web design I find I do well if I can watch and listen to a video and then replay it as much as I need to. For math problems I have to be able to work the problem with someone and then do it over and over until it clicks. Otherwise I will not remember how I did it even 5 minuets later. I have to practice this type of thing. Much like how you would practice playing the piano. Which I do. I may have picked up on that learning as a child. in order to know the song you had to practice it.

    Hope this made sense. I didn’t really have time to re read it. Keep up the good work.

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    in reply to: Chronic Inertia #117598

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    Sdwa.

    So glad you wrote about this because I hit those states often. I’m the ADHD type. So I too have that mental hyperactivity going on all the time. I even dream so actively that I can wake up in the morning and feel mentally like I have already done an entire day and then some.

    When you mentioned about not having accomplished much in you life my bet is that there is more than you think. I do the same thing to myself. Well so and so or those other people have done all of whatever my mind comes up with. But unless someone points it out to me or I list it or visually see what I have done I’m clueless most of the time.

    I caught onto this with my therapist and other people who would remark about how I could do all that I do. Or they wished they had my energy. To be honest I thought that was anyone but me. I view myself always trying to get going or stay focused along with that underlying urgency. If not in that state of mind then sleeping way too long or just sitting on my butt and watching TV. With the medication there is much less of that. But most days I have that feeling of really, is this all I’ve got so far?

    With the planning and list making etc. I found I had to change my thinking about it. If I tried to do everything I will overwhelm myself and I found that I’m often unrealistic about what I think I can get done in a day. If I put how much time each task should take then most often I put about a weeks worth of stuff to do in one day. Then I think I’ve done nothing. Even If I cross several things off.

    I do keep project lists of things to do on my computer. But when I started this time I left off the time frame when I think I should have it done by etc. Mostly because at random times of day I would remember something. Like I wanted to touch up the house trim or organize the office. So I did lists of each category I wanted to do just to keep track of it so I wouldn’t forget about it.

    Such as House projects, Yard projects, office/work, Fun stuff. what ever came up. Then on days I do have focus I refer to it and see if there’s one that gets my attention and aim to do as much as I can if I can’t complete it. Then I put an in progress. Or check off if I can.

    I also use a white board so I can visually see it. I’m a very visual thinker. Then I kinda put it out of my mind and usually within a few days I find myself working on something and after the fact realize that it was on my list. I had to get the list out of my head to talk away that urgency feeling. It gets me nowhere. I got into the experience of the feeling of doing the task and of crossing it off. If I didn’t feel it then I don’t think I could recognize I did the task. Well not think. I know it doesn’t connect. I also design jewelry and people comment on how much I have made or say wow you’ve been busy. My response is usually I have? I don’t connect to the feeling of having done it or my mind has moved on. Even on a long intensive task. I have moved on to the next thing.

    I also realize that while I too would love a coach just sometimes sitting here and writing about what ever is going or or my procrastination motivates me to do something. It’s like I have to let the forum know that something was working and there is hope! I don’t know. Just my thoughts on this subject.

    Which reminds me now that I have stuff on my job and work lists to do. I work from home the second half of my day on freelance stuff.

    One last thing, I really like what your teacher did with you. Sometimes that’s all we need to just someone to give a nudge in the directions we need to go. To promt the brain into action. Not a shove or judgement. But a nudge. And then check in with us to see what we learned or did. This site does that for me in a way.

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    in reply to: bullying and self esteem boosting #117575

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    I just read my last sentence. I’m sure you all got that the keys went on the hook. Which reminds me I’d better go check. 😆

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    Misswho23
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    Post count: 146

    I’m interested too how things turned out. Since at my last job I only got diagnosed just a couple of months before the job came to an end for me. I know the areas that were causing problems and kept wondering how I could get the resources to address them. If I had known earlier I would have looked into what training or coaching I could have got. Even my request to move to a quieter less congested area to improve my concentration and performance was turned down. Now I know it would have been under a reasonable request area here in the US.

    But at least now I know more about what I’m dealing with. And if I do end up in a more demanding job situation again I know how to go about getting help for it in a better way.

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    in reply to: bullying and self esteem boosting #117573

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    Funny late came up. For me this morning I lost my keys again. I was all ready to get out the door everything I needed but the keys. They had fallen under something and I had to look for them for about an hour. Fortunately I do have a boss that when I called he said he has been in the same boat more than once. Relief.

    I had all ready downed myself and was stressed for this so it was nice not to get that tone people get or sigh on look of oh you lost your keys again. I know he would rather have me there on time but it’s nice not to get so put down over it.

    It’s funny that most people always seem to have a higher up stance about them over people who are late. Like there is going to be some great prize or gift from god. Or they are higher up on the human scale. And they never get that we don’t enjoy being late or we think it’s a great time to piss everyone off.

    We are just trying to get anywhere intact, with what we’re supposed to have and enjoy life same as everyone else!

    Yep that kind of stuff at the school is so uncalled for and it really boils my blood!

    I once replied to someone when they commented to me “Well I got here on time today”

    “Wonderful I will alert the media I’m sure they will want to know you got here first”

    P.S. I made sure I put hook when I got back from work.

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    in reply to: Job Hunting #117553

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    That’s how I got my current job as well. Through networking through a previous co-worker.

    I didn’t know there was a program to go through Cover letters and resumes. I’ll have to take a look at that.

    I also did workshops through my states Work Force Service. They were really basic but it was free.

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    in reply to: I was anxious to have my ADD confirmed but now what? #117559

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    Well put KC.

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    in reply to: Job Hunting #117551

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    Well who knows. I’ll just redo the first part. It got long.

    Right now I’m focusing on finding 4 jobs I would like to apply for. And just that part.

    When I procrastinate I find that’s a signal that I need to break things down into smaller pieces. A lot of the putting off I found was

    that having to gather information about job dates and addresses, references etc. would get so dreary and dull I would just not want to do it.

    I would loose interest and move onto some other thing or project. So I would procrastinate and then I either could not find the job posting or it would be gone.

    I have a master folder I keep on my computer named Job Search Materials and keep documents of all that stuff in there. So I have it and I don’t have to go look for it. And on off days I could at least get that all together so on the days when my brain did turn back on I could use that energy to customize my resume and cover letters.

    I’m a graphic designer so I think very, very visually. I would rather design it or draw it than to have to write something. If I have to write a lot of stuff I would rather have chinese water torture performed on me on some days. So I looked to people I know who were better at that who could help me go over grammar and proofing. I tend to use really long run on sentences. When I worked with my niece or another person I seemed to stay on task better and liked having some feedback from somewhere other than my own head.

    What line of work are you in? And are you just looking to change jobs or are you out of work? As I said I was laid off after 11 years so it was quite the wake up call.

    I’ve always wanted to get a thread going on this to help each other out and keep the ADD mind on task. I’m also just as interested to see what others have some up with in this area. For me its’ a real pain in the arse.

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    in reply to: Job Hunting #117550

    Misswho23
    Member
    Post count: 146

    Crap what I had didn’t load. I’ll have to see what happened.

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