“IT’S JUST PEOPLE LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE TO SLACK OFF.”The more you learn about ADHD, the more frustrating it is to deal with people spouting uninformed nonsense. It’s easy to want to smack someone, literally, or figuratively. It’s wearing after a while. I have to admit, I’ve been advocating openly for a mere ten years now, some of the experts in our videos have been fighting this fight for twenty or thirty years.
“IT’S THE INTERNET. IT’S VIDEO GAMES. IT’S FOOD ADDITIVES.”While the world grows more aware that ADHD is real, that it’s neurology, chemistry, and genetics, not a moral failing or a reaction to red food dye, there’s still much to be done.
“IF IT’S REAL, WHERE WERE ALL THESE ADHD ADULTS BEFORE?”The answer to that question? They were suffering. And misdiagnosed. And treated for something, but not for their ADHD. So they weren’t getting the help they need. And by adulthood they either figured out how to make the world work for them, as I was lucky enough to do, or they have gave up and live lives of frustration and despair. As Linda Roggli, the ADDiva admitted in her interview with us, “I thought that everyone else had the secret. I called it the secret… kind of like everyone else had the answer, everyone else knew how to get along, everybody else knew how to be friends…. And I could never figure it out. Instead, I built a façade that was socially acceptable and inside that façade I was praying that no one looked behind the curtain and found out… I really was a flake.”
“FLAKE, LOSER, DUMMY, SLOW, SPACE CADET…”The first time someone snorted at the possibility that I might have ADHD and that it explained a lot of how and why I struggled in life, I was mortified. And angry. I didn’t handle it well. So I became, what my brother calls a fire-hose of information. Pouring out an overwhelming torrent of information to PROVE I’M RIGHT!!! I would defend and I would argue. I would demolish them and defeat them. But oddly, no one ever said, “I think you’re right. Thank you for sharing.” Instead they changed the subject. And it never came up again. Which I assumed meant they had seen the light. In fact they’d just seen someone rant and rave. And they’d been made wrong.
“YOU’RE WRONG! ADHD IS REAL! THERE ARE 4,000 STUDIES…”So, for many years I managed to silence the smug and ignorant. But I never truly changed their minds. Yes, they stopped spouting their uninformed balderdash… when I was around. But rather than consider that what I was saying might have merit, they simply dismissed me as a fanatic. I would have done the same. It only took about a decade to find a better response. But now I have. Rather than turn it into a battle, rather than defend, demolish, and defeat people who don’t have the facts, I’ve learned to disarm them. How? I talk more about how in my next blog ADHD? That’s Just an Excuse I also explain how in our video Facing The World, I’m going to show you how I disarm ‘the enemy’ by admitting an awkward truth… That I used to be one of the enemy. I was just like them. Yes, that’s right. There was a time when I didn’t know the facts about ADHD. Even today, there is a lot I don’t know. Heck, there is still a lot that the top experts don’t know. But when I start with, “Yes, that’s exactly what I used to think…”, well, magic happens.