Dr. Umesh Jain is now exclusively responsible for TotallyADD.com and its content

Some Coaching About Coaches

Several years ago I was in Georgia  delivering a talk called, “Making It Okay To Have ADHD.” The difference a Coach makes can be life changing. The best singers and actors have vocal coaches. The most successful business people have business coaches, though they may call them contacts, mentors, silent partners or advisors. And of course, every athlete who succeeds has a coach, often a succession of coaches as they progress. And when they’re the best in the world, they still have a coach. Cause a coach sees what they can’t. A coach helps you win the game. Whatever games you play.

One game we’re all playing is ‘Life with ADHD’

For a long time I resisted coaching. And I don’t think I’m the only ADDer who prefers to figure stuff out on my own. I bristled at people trying to help, because my brain was already struggling to keep on track, and another voice beyond the ones in my head felt frustrating. And I know a lot of ADDers feel this way. Which is too bad, cause the right coach can turn things around as you’ll learn in our video about coaching ADD & Coaching: You Don’t Have to go it Alone  That’s why we’re working on a couple of initiatives around coaching for TotallyADD.  More details about that in the next few weeks. Finding the right coach can take time. Many will do a preliminary session to see if you’re a fit. And many specialize in specific areas—teens, entrepreneurs, women. Finding the perfect fit is up to you. But as I’ve mentioned before, there are warning signs that  the coach you’re talking to might not be trained and certified.

Warnings Signs That You Aren’t Dealing With a Real Coach

If you go to a coach and they say: 1)         What’s your major malfunction, loser? 2)         Martial Arts offer two advantages. They can help you focus and also deal with jerks who piss you off. 3)         What if you just try harder and knuckle under? 4)         Yeah, I kept losing jobs and getting fired too.  So I became an ADHD Coach. Think about it. It’s a breeze! I just listen to people like you and say stuff. 5)         Hey, if it’s any consolation I think success is over-rated. 6)         Cut back on harmful stuff. Do more good stuff. 7)         Let’s try a trust exercise. What’s your PIN number? 8)         You did what?  Wow, you are a total whack job! 9)         To really understand your life situation I’ll need pictures of you naked. 10)      Do you mind if I make an omelet while we talk? 11)      Y’know what, the best advice I can give you is something Judge Judy said to this woman whose dog … 12)      Uh, okay… So… Work on improving, okay? 13)      You’ve got to work on your self-esteem, you moron. I can barely stand talking with you. 14)      I can’t wait to hear how your week has gone.  I swear, my friends and family kill themselves laughing when I tell them how you mess up. 15)      Sorry, I coach so many people I forget who I’m talking to.  Are you the angry slob or the pompous jerk? 16)      Have you tried trying harder? That might help. 17)      I don’t do Skype video because then I’d have to wear clothes and clean up the trash everywhere in my house. 18)      Interesting. What do you think is your real problem, and the underlying cause, and the solution, and the action plan, and the best tools and strategies, and the first steps you should take this week? 19)      Sorry for laughing at you. Usually I manage to mute my phone in time. 20)      You think you’ve got it bad, listen to how my crappy life has gone so far… 21)      Hey, at least you’re not as bad as the lady I was just on the phone with.  Wanna hear about her? Don’t tell anyone, it’s confidential… 22)      Hang on, I’m going to have to put you on hold, they’re just announcing the winning lottery numbers. 23)      I’ve done a lot of work with people who have AHDDAH. 24)      Maybe you really are just lazy? Have you considered that? 25)      It’s Genetic? Really? I didn’t know that. You should sue your parents. My husband’s a lawyer. 26)      My goal is to make you as successful and happy as a Hollywood mega-star.  Like say, Lindsay Lohan. Best, Rick ADHD Community For as little as the cost of a cup of coffee a month you can take part in live Patreon community discussions with Rick Green + see our new videos first + other perks ADHD Video TotallyADD.com is an independent website created & owned by Big Brain Productions Inc. (Rick Green).  We tell you this because so many people ask if pharmaceutical companies paid for any of this and the answer is absolutely not.  Purchases in our shop, and our Patreon community pays for content creation.
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  1. William March 22, 2012 at 4:43 pm

    Enjoy the south and try the pecan pie while your there.

  2. ashockley55 March 22, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    You’re going to have to get out of Atlanta to experience the South! But, have fun!

  3. Larynxa March 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    And remember, if you want a cup of tea, you have to ask for “hot tea”. Otherwise, they’ll give you a glass of iced tea with lemon.

  4. Cyclone March 24, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    Air Canada Eh! At least your ADD won’t be to blame when you miss your return flight :-)

  5. mcfarlane March 26, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    Rick are you selling those pecan rolls on your website? Talking about buying items on your website, I just finished reading “ADD Stole My Car Keys”. It was great and I learn a lot that will help me become a better teacher.
    Some of your comments on your list “Warning signs That You Aren’t Dealing with a real Coach” reminded me of the time I would go to professors and ask for more time to complete my exams becuase my dyslexia make my writing a slow process They would agree to give me more time and then say “Wayne everybody has problems”
    All students are our future
    Wayne (Just read a good book) McFarlane

  6. Larynxa March 31, 2012 at 10:46 am

    If the coach bursts into tears, that’s probably another bad sign.

  7. Ginniebean May 8, 2012 at 12:25 am

    I have never seen outlined just what it is a coach actually does. I’m pretty big on evidence based therapies and I’m finding a lot of ‘coaching is fantastic” without the evidence. I’m not saying it’s not there but why am I having such difficulty finding it? Where are the long term studies? I can say that the standard fare on many a coach website rubs me the wrong way. Here’s a few things I consider a bad sign.
    On their self promotional website you see…
    1. You get out of coaching what you put into it. This seems to default blame for things not working out to the person with ADHD, and I’m not seeing where the coach takes responsibility for anything. There are no bad coaches? only bad adhd’ers? It’s a message that I just don’t care for. If it’s the case that I get out of coaching what I put into it, I’ll save the overpriced dollars and do it myself.
    2. Asking the person if they’re ready to pay for the service, without actually saying how long the service generally lasts, how much a year, how much a month, how much for three months? It sounds like so much “click on this blank cheque’ if you’re ready for coaching!!!” If I’m paying for a service, and I’ve paid for plenty, I want to see some pricing, I want to know in advance what I’m getting into because impulsivity, (y’know clicking something that says “I’m ready to hand you XXX$$$ before knowing what that even is seems almost like taking advantage of a disorder loophole) When you add to this that the services that are provided are summed up under the vague heading of ‘coach’ with little to no explanation of just what that service is, it just screams racket to me.
    3. Too much cheerleading and not enough substance. I will often see information that’s not correct about adhd.
    4. A sure fire way to tell if a coach doesn’t know their chops is if you see moralizing on the website. We get enough of that without paying for it.

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