This is the thread that never ends….

[Anonymous]

Life is short…….eat your desert first!!!!!

toofat

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[Carrie]

Toofat! That reminds me of what my uncle told me once… I always would save the best for last, but my uncle told me to eat the best first because by the time I get to the end im stuffed and then over eat. That always stuck with me!

Nellie!! I too feel so horribly guilty if Im not outside or doing something productive when the sun is shining! hahaha

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[Anonymous]

How do people in this group manage being impulsive? I am very impulsive with my money, what I say, constantly interrupt people, and etc… Any advice for a fellow add’er? Thanks!

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[memzak]

Money-I stop myself from spending more than $5 on “stuff” and $1 on food and ask myself do I really need this or do I just want it. If I really need it but did not plan to buy it that day, I wait at least a day, think about it again and again then if I still feel I need it I ask someone if they think its a good idea. Then I go and buy it. If I just want it I walk away. Not always the easiest thing to do. Its embarassing to say how many times I didn’t do this and regretted it.

Talking-i try to listen to what is being said more than how I want to contribute to the conversation. I find that if I do this than I usually just come up with the right thing to say at the right time. However, this has taken many years of practice to feel comfortable not blurting out stuff. Every once and a while I regret not jumping in but that happens less and less.

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[Carrie]

I used to spend money like that all the time… especially at the check out where they set up everything for you TO buy! It took a while to stop and think, but with practice it helped… i would think “This is $50… I could get a tank of gas for $50, or thats a lot of groceries… or my phone bill…. etc” another one I use it “It takes x amount of hour at work to buy this… is it REALLY worth it?” Or my husband would be with me while shopping and I would pick this up “ooooooooh look at this!! Its so pretty!!” then he would say “Carrie! YOu DONT need that! Put it back!” that helped me too.

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[Anonymous]

to stop from interrupting people, i take a deep breath before I say the thing that i absolutely much say now. that extra second may be what I need to re-evaluate the need to say it right now. I also watch for pauses in the conversation. and if there is not a pause and someone is in the middle of a thought…i tell myself.. “wait…..wait….wait….wait…”. my friend commented that I actually make a little noise and pull at my hair..hmmm so not even close to a perfect solution. but at least my friend felt listened to or at least that i cared enough to try my best.

I’m trying really hard right now.. to avoid working myself up and making rash decisions based upon artificial urgency. sleep on it…seems to be my mantra. very few decisions absolutely cannot wait another day (unless of course we are speaking about procrastination!!!). especially about buying things. you may not want that impulse buy tomorrow. I almost did something really impulsive last night……and held back barely.. hand shaking. found a dating profile from someone i like at work.. so many consequences..hand was shaking to reply.. sleep on it.. *sigh* no fun, right?? being an adult kind of sucks lol

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[Carrie]

I know my meds also kill that impulse and that sense of urgency. I mostly get that sense of “urgency” or inpatience when someone is trying to tell me something or show me something. I remember one day my sister was trying to show me something on her video game and I was standing there thinking “yeah, yeah, come on come on… ugh! I NEED TO GO!!” Really I didnt need to go I just couldnt STAND standing around bleh! Or without my meds when someone tries to tell me something I always say “Ok just get to the point! Whats your point?? Hurry up!!” On meds I dont have that at all. I actually can stop, listen and then continue on!

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[Anonymous]

I am finally starting on medication the first week of September my doctor wanted to increase my antidepressant first.. did not help. I am kind of nervous about starting on meds for add but I am sure it will help me not to be impulsive and maybe help me not want to go go go all the time. I have been told I need to stop moving so fast.

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[Carrie]

Good luck with them! Its not until I stopped taking them did I notice a real difference. As you go you will find more and more things that they help with and you will learn more about yourself and (well at least with me) learn to identify what I am feeling and why.

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[Anonymous]

I am now taking 18 mg of concerta daily… do I have to give up my cup of coffee in the am??

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[Carrie]

Try it and see how it feels. I quickly found out I cant drink Red Bull while on meds. VERY VERY VERY bad outcome! High anxiety, I would shake really bad and feel dazed and like I was in a fog!

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[Anonymous]

@Carrie thanks for answering all my silly questions! I am totally new to the whole add/adhd world and do not know any adults where I live who have it. It is nice to talk to people who can relate to my situation.

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[trashman]

hi, this is a great thread .I love reading all the chatter. can some one tell me what are some of the goals for a adhd person. I can never figure out whats normal and whats my adhd . its great reading this stuff because.

my doc told me worker material I am not,I still don’t no why when people I work for get mad at me and then I am hurt how is that my fault ? I don’t get that I guess that’s part of that of my add or the fact that I am not the brightest bulb in the box.lol still it seems that I can relate to most of your stories. I wish I would have come with a manual. I think that would be pretty funny because I have trouble reading instructions and following them so,lol I am back to square one where I started my ramble is that funny. sorry if I bored you.

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[Carrie]

Your welcome aelvecro! I live in a small town out in the boonies where I KNOW there must be other adults with ADD, but they are all hiding hahahaha

Trashman – I was just talking about this with my ADD coach. Man it would be nice if life were a bunch of formulas. Quick simple ones. You want to make money? well this + that = BAM! YOU RICH!! Ahh… That would be nice! We were also talking about how with ADD you DO need to be shown every little step!! I know I do at least. “So you want me to wash the floor… How?… With a rag you say…. Ok… which rag? How big? What kind of cleaner? Where do I start? Hot or cold water? What motion do I use?? AHHH OVERLOAD!! IM DONE!” Thats the way I am hahahahaha

As for worker material… I beg to differ. I havent had a job more than a year only because I get bored and move on. I LOVED being a receptionist because I got to meet new people everyday and got to talk a lot. I love to talk. But my relationships were only skin deep which I love (doesnt take time or effort to keep those and they are relaxed not forced). I also LOVED dealing with complaints because I love to problem solve for others. I LOVED working as a cook because I had to be in a million places at once with in the chaos and we can function in chaos. My husband on the other hand…. He has ADD too (well im 100% sure) but he has problems at work. His social anxiety is high so he always bombs interviews, he cant read and write well so he bombs some dumb tests they make him write… he cant pay attention to small details… he misses them no matter how hard he tries and working in the metal industry the cost of metal really adds up! He is a BRILLIANT man! He can fix ANYTHING! What takes other people hours and hours takes him 2 minutes literally to fix. Hes an awesome problem solver. One of his last employers was very mad at him because he claimed my husband wasnt doing his job… meanwhile my husband would bend over backwards for his boss… problem is he would wander off and fix this or that instead of doing what he should of been… He would go without telling his boss…. His priorities were not right. He is very absent minded and has NO sense of time which is apart of ADD. If I dont have my watch with me and I dont keep a constant eye on it, I dont either. Mind you… I got sick of watching my watch and set myself a million alarms. One to tell me its time to make lunch, pick up the kids, go to work, etc etc etc.

With reading books on ADD, having an ADD coach, and the help of medications I learn more and more each day what is the ADD and how to – not work around it – but with it and accept that this is the way I am. No it REALLY is that hard for me to be organized! Yes I can ONLY do things at the last minute. Example. I HATE HATE HATE laundry… I tried to do it everyday I just couldnt. I accepted it and made a system that worked for me. Im a last minute kinda gal so I bought only enough clothes to last the week, on Sundays the day before I need all the clothes I wash them all. That way I have all the clothes I need for the week and there isnt a lot! Books, ADD coach and meds cost a lot! So I will gladly share any tidbits I have learned and my own experiences so far!! Though I am only learning too!

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[trashman]

Thanks Carrie I am trying coaching my psychiatrics says I am not worker material .and great west life can’t seem to decided if they will pay me. I guess that a person has to die before they will pay or you won’t know if they will. when I spend time daydreaming I think of being a out of control truck driver.some days I think I would love to run them all over. But then I hear my mother telling me she taught me better then that.

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[Author]

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