[ADDled]

Hoarding may be a by-product of the lack of executive functioning skills that regulate control and behaviour. This is also common for folks with ADD. We’re so “in the moment” we cannot think of the consequences of accumulating stuff, like, where to put it all. And when we do get new stuff, what happens to the old stuff? The “bright, shiny object” thing in practice, I guess.

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[ADDled]

On a recent “The Fifth Estate” program on the CBC, there was segment about how CRA works and the tactics they use to harass “clients” during an audit. And, apparently, without repercussion if they’re wrong. It’s downright scary to see how much power a single person in a governmental agency can have to effectively ruin your life if they want to. The operative word is “want to”, because they’ll play you like a small-mouth bass on the hook. CRA plays hard ball and they play to win at all costs: even if it ruins you financially.

I don’t want to scare you, but it seems the CRA is the closest thing in this country to the Gestapo we’ll ever see. I WOULD NOT ever attempt to to deal on such a matter as yours without some sort of professional representation. Get an accountant. Get a tax lawyer. Get it in writing.

And this is the case for people without disabilities who have audited by CRA. I can’t eve begin to imagine how they would treat someone with a “hidden” disability such as we have. Especially if you an anxiety disorder as an add-on to your ADD.

Anytime I have dealt with CRA, I had different answers for the same question from different CRA people.

Hope this helps….and good luck

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[ADDled]

I don’t know about your workplace, but I would be very careful about what you divulge to you subordinates about your “gift”. Being almost twice the age of most of my co-workers, it’s very interesting to see the group dynamics when they perceive they can find a promotion in it somewhere. A few will exploite any opportunity they can: compassion and understanding are just words in a dictionary.

While I have disclosed to my supervisor, and manager, and director, I haven’t to my co-workers. The management team has already marginalized me, I don’t want that from my peers.

If you among the lucky ones and have built up a rapport with your subordinates and you feel it may improve your situation than go for it. You are blessed.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[ADDled]

Fearwidg

This may be a little of topic, but I’m intrigued by your flying activities; it’s something I have always wanted to do myself. But dealing with the depression and anxiety undiagnosed ADHD for most of my adult life (I’m 57) there was no way I could have even dreamed about working towards a private pilot’s license then. But now, why not?

In checking Transport Canada’s website, it is not specifically spelled out as to what mental health conditions prevent certification. What has been your experience?

What am I up against if I wanted to work toward a private pilot’s license with ADHD/Depression/Anxiety (All of which has been greatly controlled with meds and therapy)?

This may be a topic we need to take off line. But then it may be of interest to others to learn that life can go on with ADHD and we still need to have fun.

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[ADDled]

To feel “normal”: that’s what everyone expects from us and we try to deliver.

Now that I know what the root cause of my anxiety and depression comes from, I’m beginning to understand more about what’s going on (and has gone on) with me. For the most part, with meds and therapy, I’m content now. Life is good.

My wife fully understands that it’s the ADD that has driven my actions in the past. And ADD still does. But when I catch myself in an ADD moment, I am more cognizant of that and can use counter-measures to correct my behaviour. If I’m unaware my wife later tells me, not to berate, but so that I can learn to recognize these situations earlier. I call it my “brainstyle” in social situations, or at work, just to avoid complications.

Don’t get me wrong, those that need to know about my ADD, know about my ADD. Those that don’t, they don’t know for a reason. This is when I use “brainstyle”.

There are parts that I still struggle, some situations where I cannot “bend the world to me”. My job specifically.

As to Effexor, maybe your brainstyle “chemistry” worked better for you. It’s unfortunate that there is no “one size, fits all” antidepressant for everyone. What a wonderful world that would be! Like aspirin.

Effexor helped me to. In fact all the ADs I been on have helped, generally speaking. ADs are relatively new from a pharmacological sense; there are going to be successes and failures for the industry along the way. All part of the learning curve. I just don’t want to be a guinea pig for “field testing”. I have enough things to deal with from a mental health point of view now.

And from my male perspective, I cannot imagine how a woman deals with all that and being pregnant and all the horomonal stuff that goes on and off. I now know why most of the woman I know can endure anything!

As for Serzone, good riddance. Two weeks into that one and I wanted out. Between the “brain zaps” and the de-realization thing, it was obvious it wasn’t for me. For those who haven’t experienced the brain zaps, it’s kinda like listening to a radio and the loudspeaker keeps shorting out. Or when you’re watching satellite TV during an approaching storm and the TV screen breaks into those tiny pixelated squares before the signal is lost. Good times…

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[ADDled]

I did the Effexor withdrawal thing recently. It was the worst two months of the worst year in my life.

Maybe Wyeth-Ayerst needs to develop an Effexor withdrawal kit containing capsules with ever diminishing doses and Omega compounds. But, then, we’re dealing (pun intended) with large pharmacuetical companies. For the most part they have produced amazing stuff to help us, but, it’s in their best interest to keep us hooked. And I suppose, in a weird way, hearing about withdrawal symptoms makes us afraid to want to stop, and, using the deterrence of not wanting to experience any of that makes for good sales.

For me, Effexor was losing its “effect” after about 5 years of use. You have to hand it to the drug companies, though, they think of everything. Your Effexor losing its punch? Well, we’ll increase the dosage! More profits for us! A perfect plan: engineer a medicine that loses effectivity during time, then we have to sell your more of the same to stop you from feeling depressed (caused you’ve heard all the stories about people trying to get off our meds…you don’t want to do that now, do you?). Where have we heard that tune before? Maybe cocaine, heroine?

I have been on most of the anti-depressants at one point or another during my attempt to feel “normal”. Imiprimine, Prozac, Paxil, Serzone (the ramping up symptoms were so bad, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what the withdrawal might be like). I don’t think Serzone is even on the market anymore…It was just that bad.

Then came Effexor. Stopping the other AD’s weren’t as bad as Effexor. As a veteran of switching AD’s I sorta knew what to expect. This was beyond my experience, though. Using the internet (I know, a bad place to get medical advice…) I found lots of Effexor related websites discussing the withdrawal effects. I was even considering opening the capsules and removing some of the medication using tweezers as some users have tried!

I’m now on Wellbutrin and from what I understand it’s a better match for people with ADD. So far, I have to agree. My wife recently experienced the Effexor meltdown when she was out of meds for a few days. Cold turkey, I was a horrible thing to watch.

Meds can and lose their efficacy. The only choices are, increasing the dose, or, change meds. But based on my experience with Effexor, if in the future I need to change ADs, I’ll take the time off from work for a few weeks to do the transition. Because my mind couldn’t handle all the demands the world puts on you during this time while changing brain chemistry.

DISCLAIMER: This posting is all my experience and opinion: not based on medical fact. If you are thinking about changing your meds, do so under trusted medical supervision. What works for one person may have a different outcome for someone else. Just be informed and this is all I wanted to do here.

Hope this helps….and good luck.

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[ADDled]

Interesting ideas there, wsharpe. Everything I have read about ADD suggests that physical activity does reduce the severity of these conditions. I can see why the “higher risk” activities such as rock climbing or white water paddling are particularly suited for people with ADD.

I also agree with your points about the education system concentrating (no pun intended) on those things that are quantifiable and testable, rather than encouraging self-discovery, say, through the arts or developing personal survival skills to actually use in the world. But, then, look at how we work these days: stuck in a cube farm staring at computer screens eight hours per day. A beige, dull, mind-numbing, spirit-crushing corporate environment where creativity and free thinking is actively discouraged. If the education system produces more self-actualized, creative people the corporate world won’t know how to handle them!

My experience with most physical activity or sports is that I find them very boring (jogging, cycling) or in the case of team sports such as hockey or football, I don’t remember the rules. I enjoyed squash, but it’s the rule thing again: I’d rather chase the ball myself in the court rather than play against someone. Or, that I act impulsively without thinking about the strategy needed in order to win. It would be interesting to find out how many people with ADD are team players as opposed to those who participate in solitary sports such as rock climbing, swimming, cross country skiing or white water paddling.

I do Tai Chi and and I find that works for me.

Another recurring theme is that when you get ADD people outdoors the symptoms also diminish. This I have experienced myself, so I don’t doubt it.

I will definitely look into Dr. Ratey’s book and the Ken Robinson link. Thanks for the ideas.

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[ADDled]

Hi, Terry!

You’ve have taken the first step. This is the best source of adult ADD information I have come across.

I think the next step would be to suggest seeing the documentary “ADD and Loving It!”. Tell them about this website. Tell them the stories from all the people on this forum who are struggling every day with the same thing you are. You are not alone. After that, you can only hope that some of this got through. And remind them to be open minded: adult ADD is a relatively new diagnosis.

It’s your “brainstyle” and you cannot change that, but you can change how to manage it. I was diagnosed at 57, just a few months ago. I have told my closest friends (to help explain to them why I did what I did back then…). I still haven’t disclosed to my immediate family, only because my ADD hasn’t really hasn’t impacted on them. I’m not in jail, or living in the streets, a compulsive gambler or a dope addict. So the family unit is basically intact…although disfunctional.

Yes, I’m going through the same thing. Since it is genetic, my wife sees ADD symptoms in my mother and brother. But, apparently, they are content dealing with their lives the way they are now. Obviously they never had an existential crisis to cause them to re-evaluate things. I have them a lot. Not as much now that I know what my root cause is.

I just had a thought (that’s what happens with our brains!)!

How about a “reverse intervention?” Maybe have all the skeptics around you over for a party and spring the documentary on them?

I’m thinking the “Inspector Hercule Poirot (Murder on the Orient Express, et,al) approach”: “You are all wondering why I called you here” sort of thing. Then show the documentary. It may just work. At this point, what have you got to loose?

As to being too late. In my case: Nope!

You can get a professional diagnosis. I have and it’s like being born again with new awareness and new skills and new eyes. While I still struggle adapting my new coping skills such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), meditation, study of Taoism into my new life, I am making slow, steady improvements in my habits and I am seeing significant changes. And I tell myself everyday “This, too, shall pass”. I’ve even picked up my hobbies again, and THAT is a great form of meditation.

And this too must be said. Your about my age. So we have a lot a baggage about how people and the world has treated us in general. In my case….well, let’s just say I wish it were better. The hard part will be letting all that go. We each have about 50 years of it; realize that may take a long time with some setbacks along the way.

Another benefit I have noticed and like is that I understand what it is to be “different” and have a great deal more compassion for anyone who ‘”doesn’t fit in”. Whether it’s a different race, culture, lifestyle, sexual orientation, or disability. I feel more for them than I do for “normals”. Normals don’t need my compassion anyhow…they do just fine in this world.

So you see, it’s never too late. It’s gonna take a lot of “blood, sweat, tears and toil”…well maybe not the blood part, but you get my drift. You are going to have to advocate for yourself in this. Mr Green has said in one of his “Rants” that you may have to educate your doctor about this. As I said, adult ADD in a new specialty, so don’t be surprised that you may encounter disbelief from some medical professionals. Keep plugging away or change doctors until you get the answers you need.

Hope this helps…and good luck!

Let us know how things are going.

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[ADDled]

When I first started investigating ADHD for myself, the Psychiatrist investigated Bi-Polar disorder. I thought that was a little odd and when I asked he said sometime the symptoms can be similar. So in order to get an accurate diagnosis, I had to keep a “mood log” for several months. And, unfortunately, it may take that long to to find out if you are indeed bi-polar. Some bi-polars can “rapid cycle” between states, some longer…even months.

In my case, being bi-polar was ruled out, but was prescribed Lomotragene as a mood stabilizer , Wellbutrin for depression and Concerta for ADHD. I’m a mess, a perfect storm of anxiety, depression and ADHD. But I now can tell the difference when my mood isn’t stable and take counter-measures.

Most of my adult life I was fighting depression with little success and it was only after being diagnosed with ADHD, that everything fell into place. The treatment for ADHD certainly eased my other symptoms: they still exist, having less impact than before. But as I said, I can now basically tell the difference when something is not right, and that’s half the battle. Adult ADHD has only recently become recognized as a condition. It was unheard of when I was first diagnosed with depression. Who knew?

Realize this may take time to sort out, but your doctor needs to sort out exactly what he is trying to diagnose and to prescribe the correct medication.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[ADDled]

Good thoughts, Elizabeth, and I concur with them.

We are hard on ourselves. Then, because of the ADHD and we work harder than others, it just seems logical that we are harder on ourselves. There is, apparently, no middle ground in anything related to ADHD: just like a light bulb we are either on or off.

The thing is the rest of the world imposes a set of standards or performance measures on everything because, I think, of the need for categorization, classification, or pigeon-holing. I can’t be categorized, classified, or pigeon-holed. And that makes people nuts. Completely throws off their game. They can’t understand. And sadly, they won’t understand.

I am starting to accept this.

If I can I’d like to relate a personal example. I don’t do “performance reviews” very well, and sadly, they’re a fact of life in the corporate world. I believe a person should be measured against his own performance, as an individual, not against a bell curve or against others that adapt well to working the business environment.

My last performance review I was rated as “achieved” despite the fact I had completely turned a very negative situation (read almost fired and due to ADHD) to improve my work performance to “achieved” (which means I get to keep my job). Everyone else gets “achieved”, but they have performed a relatively consistent, and predictable rate all year.

I turned a negative situation completely around in six months as still only gets an “achieved”. I think my situation deserves an exceed. And, yes, I have fully disclosed my ADHD to my supervisor and HR.

Comparison needs to be based on a personal standard, not against everyone else. If there is anyone on this forum that works in Human Resources (I love that term….I am not bauxite!) or a director in a large company, or has an MBA, I would certainly like to discuss the performance review concept further. But, then, usually people working in HR, or as a director and most MBAs don’t have ADHD and won’t be one this forum.

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[ADDled]

You beat me on this one!!

I have just read “The Artist’s Way at Work: Riding the Dragon” and was going to mention it on the forum.

If you are having trouble dealing with all the weirdness at work, or are weird at work, this book may help.

I learned a lot about how to survive in the “cube jungle” where most of us eek out some kind of living. In fact, I wish this book was around a long time ago, it certainly would have saved me some major grief.

The funny thing is, that when you start work, no one ever shows you the secondary skills, the survival skills you need to stay employed and still be you. This is especially important for us with ADD because generally we lack the ability to sometimes read social situations very well, and often misread cues that others understand and know readily. A very powerful book. It has caused me to re examine how I work and how I relate to it.

I read the original Artist’s Way, a way, way back when it first was published. That had a profound outlook on how I veiwed creativity. The thing I learned was you can be an artist and you need not lead a bohemian, beatnik, hippie lifestyle starving in a seedy studio with only cold water and a bare light bulb. The idea that artists exist only on the fringes of society is completely wrong. You can be a CEO, a mother, or a mechanic and still be an artist: it’s all about the approach to how you do things. And that creativity is not necessarily constrained to painting, sculpting or any of the traditional preconceived ideas about what creativity is supposed to be about. Creativity is a powerful tool and all can access it. And this creativity can be applied to any situation. A great book.

Thank you Lianne, for mentioning ‘The Artist’s Way’

BTW, I have trouble with the “Morning Pages” thing, but I have to tell you, there is some merit to them; almost like meditation. I shall start them again.

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[ADDled]

I have an iPhone and with all the apps that are available it’s perfect for me. You can get apps like Dragon that allows the use of voice commands. And there are a lot of productivity, time tracking apps, etc. I have my guided meditation lessons on it too. Every day I find some new app that helps me with my ADHD issues. I also found some apps that help train short term memory. With the iPhone’s ability to sync with my laptop, I can organize my calenders easily. At first I thought I’d never really use all the capabilities fully, but I’ve decided it’s worth it now. I am, by no means, a techno-junkie, but I now depend it a lot.

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[ADDled]

Hi, Rick!

I want know how the heck Steve Smith put up with you two guys while working on the “The Red Green Show”?

Seriously though, from what I have read ADD people have a higher level of intelligence than most of the population. It would be interesting to know what percentage of people with ADD score higher than average intelligence. I think something like that could boost our self esteem because we need all the help we can get with that.

It was very helpful when you spoke about your personal experiences and solutions in dealing with ADD. You can read all the self-help books in the world, but if you can’t frame it in such a way to make it work for you, you’re really no further ahead. But by listening to a real, live ADDer who has overcome some of the obstacles we all face makes all the difference, I think.

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[ADDled]

Um, one thing at a time? Small steps?

There is a really good book titled “ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life” by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau, published by Brunner Routledge.

Kolberg is a professional organizer and Nadeau is a well know ADD clinician who has published many books on ADHD. They have specifically targeted the organization morass we ADHD types find ourselves in. Very helpful and worth looking for.

Still available, I got my copy about six months ago at Chapters.

Hope this helps…

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[ADDled]

Let’s all remember to take our meds before going, OK? Or, maybe not. Let’s see what fun ensues…Oh, look! A dinosaur….why’s the air conditioner so loud?

Seriously, though, I think it will be a very emotional event for many of us from forum. In reading the stories, I’m overwhelmed by the hurt the world has caused us because we’re misunderstood and don’t measure up to some arbitrary standard that is considered “being normal’. And I sometimes fantasize that, just for one day, we find ourselves in positions of authority and able to pass judgement on non-ADHD people so they can perhaps know what it feels like to be marginalized or misunderstood. Then I realize that because we have suffered for so long, we wouldn’t have the humanity to force that on anyone.

I suspect, for me it will be “I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me…” sort of thing.

I am looking forward to it.

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