[ADDled]

Believe it or not most everyone here has a similar story. You are not alone. Feeling lonely, confused and scared? You are not alone there also.

I agree with ladyg, get an assessment but first of all make sure your doctor is up to date on Adult ADD. According to some people using these forums, there are doctors that, for whatever reason, don’t believe Adult ADD exists. So you may need to do some research and find someone who can help you.

Do you have it? Sounds as if you may have it, but I’m no specialist. I can only comment on how your symptoms kind of mirror what I feel and I am ADD. Not “suffer from” ADD, I have ADD.

Search this website and I think there is a self-test you can do, but please understand it’s only a self-test and can form a basis for further action on your part.

Naturally, these other feelings you have about anxiety and depression or bi-polar will need a professional opinion. Many of these conditions can occur with (called “comorbidity”) ADD, or are a result of ADD. This is where professional assistance is needed to sort all that out. While going through getting my diagnosis one of the things that was investigated was the possibility of being bi-polar. Surprised the heck out of me, but he’s the doctor and has a pretty good reason. He is a specialist in ADD and has an “alphabet-and-a-half” of letters after his name. So a lot of these things need to be sorted out.

Even though ADD, I still issues with depression and anxiety and am taking meds for those also, but the depression and anxiety parts aren’t so severe any more.

Many of us here will tell you that medication does work and has helped and will be an important part of your recovery, in fact the first step. Some say it can be controlled without pharmacological intervention. And that will be a decision you and your doctor will need to work out. I have not met anyone who has made significant changes without using meds. They may be out there, but I haven’t met them yet. Meds will help you get a leg-up on your symptoms, then you can make those changes you want to make easier. I think in the documentary it refers to “putting on a pair of eye glasses”. A good analogy. Many of us feel the same way.

Will you be cured? No, this is a neurological thing, it’s how your brain is wired. The only thing you can really do to change your reality of being ADD is managing it. I found it really helped to accept it then learn to manage it. Read, become aware, ask questions, accept your ADD and don’t be afraid of assistance such as therapy or counseling or even these forums here on ADD and Loving It.

As a side bar: The forums here are a really good resource because we’re all going through it, some are further along than others, but because, as ADDer’s, we tend to be more empathetic, accepting and want to help people (a good by-product of ADD). So, you’ll find are beginners and continuing members here. Where I practice Tai Chi , for example. we have only a “beginners’ class” and a “continuing class” for instruction. No one has a rank of expert in Tai Chi, we are all still learning. Even out instructors are instructed! The only experts here are Dr. Jain, and maybe Rick or Patrick, because they did the documentary….

We also don’t have resident “basement trolls” to do nothing but bait, deny, confuse, irritate and anger the members here as happens in other groups. Maybe it’s because all this discussion about ADD cuts too close to home? I found it helped to tell a few close friends. That, and tell yourself that ADD is the reason: not the excuse. Part of managing is to take ownership.

I still have ADD. I have learned, and am still learning how to manage it. Don’t get me wrong my life is more in control now than it has ever been. But because ADD for me has been life-long thing, so will be the managing and learning all about ADD.

You may want to view the documentary again, now that the “Hey, that’s me they’re talking about…” shock has worn off and the self realization of the possibly being ADD has set in, to figure out where you go from here. There are a lot of things to absorb.

In a nutshell, you’ll be fine. Since my diagnosis of ADD, I’ve never been happier…my ADD is being used for good rather than evil.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[ADDled]

Hi, Bobby

I posted a response to billd about the same issue here: “How do you deal with these people?”

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[ADDled]

Hi, Billd

I understand your rage, as do many others here. These are normal reactions when someone goes through when diagnosed as ADD. When diagnosed a couple years ago at 56 and I had them myself. But think of it this way: it’s one of the few times when a diagnosis is good news.

I went through the same “What if” scenarios. And at 53, you can still change things. All the things you describe as being out of your control can be brought under control through medication, therapy and a good dose of self awareness. Move forward.

And just because that’s how you reacted to things previously in your life, doesn’t mean you’ll continue to do so when your ADD is under control. Alan Watts, an English lecturer and teacher of Eastern religion, said “Trying to predict your future behavior based on what happened in your past is like trying to drive your car looking only in the rearview mirror”.

All this has worked for me and I feel better about my future more than any other time in my life. Regrets, sure. But I now view them as them learning experiences and battle scars. It’s all easier now, because I’m no longer getting in my own way.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[ADDled]

When I read the forums, I am amazed at all the intelligent, insightful, tenacious and brave people here. I cannot help but think what a better world this would be if ADD people were in positions of power and authority and leadership. Ya know “running the place”?

Intelligent, insightful, tenacious and brave, among others. All good qualities, I’d say.

I can hear all the nay-sayers now, “You’ll start things and never finish”. But isn’t that what non-ADDers are for?

Or “You’ll spend too much money”! Well, isn’t that what money is for? Think of it like potato salad: spread it around everyone will be happy.

Just think about how exciting things could get. Political leaders will actually say what they think rather than blather on in doublespeak. Maybe finally an action plan for ending global warming? Or, ending poverty and hunger because it’s the right thing to do? Saving the rain forest. Zero emission vehicles. Alternate sources of energy. Our holistic approach would be refreshing because we can see relationships, instead of protecting vested-self interests.

“What a Wonderful World….”

ADDers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your shame!

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[ADDled]

I’ve done CBT as part of my therapy and I found it worked. Yes, it involves writing things down, but if it’s going to help you overcome the negative impacts of ADD, then it’s worth the effort. We are, after all, responsible for our own recovery and sometimes that needs work on our part. Skills, not pills: it’s the thing that will really change us.

A lot of how we react to the world is automatic, like a script or recording. Something happens and we re-use these scripts mostly out of habit. But if we can re-write how the response is going to be, like re-program the response, we can alter the outcome of our reaction. A lot of us with ADD usually react to the world without thinking and we do or say things that may be inappropriate or hurtful. We get in our own way. Or wish we could take that moment back.

CBT, I found, allowed me to stop and think for a split second and “change tracks”. A lot of the research I’ve read about ADD, CBT is highly recommended. I didn’t find it required a lot of concentration because you are really doing “what if” scenarios. Your CBT facilitator usually we guide you through the process. As far a being demeaning, it’s no more demeaning than when you do something you regret as a result of ADD.

I didn’t want to sound all “tough love” or anything, but CBT can be worth the effort for you. Ass ADDers we need every advantage we can get to control ourselves.

Just keep focussing on the benefits.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[ADDled]

Speaking from personal experience, most of my adult life was spent trying to reduce the impact of depression. Nothing seemed to work, but when I was diagnosed with ADD several years ago, that changed everything. We were working from the wrong direction!

Of course, adult ADD was unheard of when I started trying to control my depression (early 80’s). My depression is still with me, but not as severe and knowing exactly what the root cause is makes it easier to deal with.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[ADDled]

I’m guilty of that too. There are several hobbies that I tend to cycle through, but since becoming aware of my ADD, I know why that is happening and am more aware when it happens.

And, of course, there are the half dozen or so uncompleted projects within each of those hobbies. You know the pattern. Big plans, a great start…and no follow through.

I spoke to a therapist once about my many hobbies and interests. His opinion was that it’d good to have alternatives in case there is a setback in one.

As I said, when I do change interests I now tell myself it’s the ADD and it’s OK. I have noticed that once the ADD was under control I am now better able to stay focused on a particular task and enjoy the benefit of actually completing something!

I cannot stress enough how my hobbies have kept me going during some rough patches my life. And, yes, there were times when I was so deep in depression that I lost interest in everything. And in a funny way, the hobbies were one of the reasons I got through all this. They were still there, waiting like old friends. They kept me involved with the world. It was my therapy and a way out.

Hope this helps..and good luck.

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[ADDled]

Hi, Inefficient

For what it’s worth…

I have been on Vyvanse for about six months. Prior to that I was on 90 mgs of Concerta per day. And I can say I much prefer the effects of Vyvanse. Specifically, I have more energy and it’s easier to work tasks that require concentration and organizational skills. The organizational part has always been a struggle: for all of us, too, I imagine. But it was the lack of energy, both physical and mental, that made me see my doctor about why I felt that way. At home after work I would crash in front of the TV after supper and fall asleep.

I found it takes 30-45 minutes to “kick-in”, but I can notice the change. I’m now at 90 mgs per day, but I find that taking 70mgs in the AM when I wake up and then 20 mgs right after lunch pretty well gets me through the day. I did notice taking the entire dose in the morning kinda left me felling a little “fuzzy” and lethargic. Based on the advice of my doctor he recommended splitting the dose. It does increase BP, but the doctor monitors that and has me on more meds to control that. The other effect I found was that it has really suppressed my appetite, so if that is an issue for you you may want to try something else.

However, the benefits for me are impressive. I now have some energy left after working all day so that I can pursue my hobbies, which for a few reasons has been put on the shelf. Picked up the guitar and my cameras again so everything seems to be coming back together in my life. It doesn’t impact the creativity, though, and I was always afraid using meds would do that, but I’m more creative than ever! I’m also a more engaged with life in general. And I’m now organizing my life more, too. I am trying to organize all my tools and hobby supplies to “first order retrievability” so that I don’t frustrate myself looking for the soldering pencil, or the torque wrench, or the doodad for the power washer. Never could do that before. Of course, there were a few other things working in the background such as therapy and counseling at this time. But I was going through that while on Concerta. I can definitely say Vyvanse is working better for me.

Your mileage may vary.

Hope this helps and good luck…

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[ADDled]

About 20 years the big thing was “The Yeast Syndrome” written by John Trowbridge, M.D. and Morton Walker, D.P.M.

That was about the wrong gut bacteria affecting symptoms including, among other things, anxiety, depression hyperactivity (in children) and poor memory. I suppose if Adult ADD was known, it might be in that list, too.

Basically the theory is, because of the processed foods we consume and the antibiotics that are frequently over-prescribed, our beneficial bacteria is replaced by several different strains of bacteria and yeast, specifically a fungus called candida albicans. That one can be toxic and produce some of these symptoms, including “interfering with brain physiology…and cause great difficulty with brain function” according to the book. That’s just the Reader’s Digest (no pun intended) version of the premiss. I’m not saying this premiss is right or wrong, I’m just throwing it out there.

I was primarily interested in the theory because of my life long search into why I was feeling the way I did: the diagnosis of depression and anxiety did not improve my outlook at all. We all know now why I thought that.

To promote beneficial gut bacteria, there is a program where eating specific foods (especially garlic) helps to change that balance.

I don’t know if there is any validity to any of this, when when you’re desperate to feel better, you will try anything. And besides, eating healthier is probably a good thing anyways.

Hope this helps…and good luck

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[ADDled]

I find it helps me and is quite often recommended in many books about ADD. The thing of it is, it’s a skill that needs to be practised. A lot. Even long time practitioners still have problems with the mind wandering, I suspect. But they are more skillful at controlling their thoughts and can bring the mind back. Will it ever replace medication solely for treatment? I don’t think so.

I think if you google mediation and mental health issues generally, there is a lot of evidence that meditation is helpful, even to the point in some cases, of causing changes to brain chemistry. I think Dr. J might more information about this.

A book that was recommended to me by my doctor is “The Mindful Way through Depression” by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal and Jon Kabat-Zinn. My copy has a CD with mediation techniques that takes you through typical methods.

Don’t be scared of about the “Depression” part scare you, there’s still a lot of information about how we can control our minds.

I’ve learned to be more mindful and have become more aware of when my ADD “gets in my way”. Anything we can do to slow our minds down when we need to is a good thing.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[ADDled]

Trashman, if your still here:

Get a second medical opinion, or third even until you get an answer. And it’s not like we’re going to kick you out because you think you don’t belong here. There may yet be something that can help you.

Karlsgateharley and Trashman:

About suicide. I can pretty well be safe in saying that most everyone (including me) when dealing with issues related to ADD or any other mental health issue consider this as an option.

The pain you feel right now will be passed on to those who knew you. It’s never too late to start to make small significant changes in your life.

I don’t want to get all Zen Buddhist (via Alan Watts) on you but : “You are not that person [that you were]. The only person you are is right now”. And that person you can change.

When you feel like suicide is the only option, please call for help. Whether it’s a close friend, a therapist or a 24 hour suicide prevention hotline. Don’t let this get the better of you.

The other thing I remember is when I was talking to a First Nations person when the subject of suicide came up. He said. “Don’t go where you’re not wanted”…Those words have stayed with me.

Hope this helps…and good luck

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[ADDled]

I think what Larynxa is saying (and correct me if I misunderstood Larynxa) is if you disclose to your boss, it makes it more difficult for him to can you. Once you disclose, in Ontario at any rate, he has a duty to accommodate you. According to the Ontario Human Rights Commission’s Policy and Guidelines on Disability and the Duty to Accommodate”, Section3.3.1 – Essential Duties and the Current Job “No one can be judged incapable of performing those duties until efforts have made to accommodate the individual up the the point of undue hardship.”

It also states that the “duty to accommodate may require employers to consider modifying performance standards or productivity targets.”

When you disclose, your boss owns the problem and you have more control of the situation. But it’s no free pass. He can either accommodate your disability (the easiest and cheaper thing to do), fire you (out of ignorance of the law), or make your life so miserable, you’ll quit. But he can’t legally do the last two and document everything – borderline harassment can be subtle. And don’t ever quit until you have a better situation.

And while it seems easier to let yourself be fired, you’ll never know IF you could do your job better if you had accommodations in place. A good thing to know when you get another job on your own terms. You’ll also have a better case for wrongful dismissal if you disclose before being fired.

I must warn you, though, every attempt will be made to coerce you into leaving to solve their problem. It’s a long, difficult road but again, disclosing can be a game changer. I’m still working there. And I really don’t know which is the worst feeling – being fired or disclosing a disability at work. Been through both. Make sure you emphasize the word disability and use it as many times as you can. My boss tried to call it a “condition” as if it were a headcold. I quickly reminded him it’s a disability.

I know where you’re at right now: I went through the same thing. But, once it’s realized by them that you know your rights and you slowly start to make gradual improvements in your work situation, the pressure will be off you. And when the pressure is off, the work seems easier.

Not to mention the improvement in your self-esteem because you have done something many people are afraid to do – make themselves vulnerable.

I’m no “law-talker”, but you should get some legal or professional advice before proceeding with any of this.

I just think that we as ADDers need to make more of a noise. For too long we have been at the mercy of our disability in the workplace. I saw my experience as trying to level the playing field.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[ADDled]

Hi, richzilla_blue!

Welcome to our “safe place” in this world.

That’s a very positive attitude you have right now, although I think you’re being hard on yourself when you refer to “this life sentence”. I’d call it experience and a new beginning. I was diagnosed at 55, and yes, I’ve made all the mistakes in my life that you made in yours.

I see 50 as the new 30 and apparently there is no limit to what we can do because, well, we have life experience and you can’t teach that in school. We’ve dealt with our demons and won. That, and ADD if used for good, is a very powerful combination in my opinion.

For help with relationships, I’d highly recommend “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid” by Kate Kelly and Peggy Remundo. Get the revised and updated version with the blue cover. I’ve just re-read that one and it’s quite helpful.

As far as the work thing it’s extremely tough for everyone right now, but especially tough for us ADDers because of our usually spotty employment history. Now that you know that you’re ADD, use the strengths of that to help channel your job search. Go here for some ideas:

http://www.addcoach4u.com/positivesofadd.html

Or, have you thought about self-employment or contract work? I’m investigating a few things myself right now using the strengths of my ADD and they’re nothing even close to what currently doing.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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[ADDled]

I remember a phrase from the ’60’s: “Why Be Normal?”

Yes. I’m that old….but I do remember the 60’s (sort of…)

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[ADDled]

I’m on Wellbutrin and it seems to work well with the Vyvanse. Of all the combinations of anti-depressants (Prozac, Paxil, Effexor and Wellbutrin) and stimulants (Ritalin, Concerta, Vyvanse) I’ve used, this combination is the best for me. The Wellbutrin does boost my energy level somewhat and seems to have less side effects.

Of course, you will need to find what works best for you. Stay away from Effexor if you can, though, it’s nasty stuff to quit. If you Google Effexor withdrawal there are a lot of people that have issues with this one.

Hope this helps…and good luck.

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