[ashockley55]

Here, here!! I’m hoping the same thing (diagnosis, medication, relief) happens to me! I have an appt. Feb. 13th. I’ve been through all kinds of diagnoses in my 20’s (am 32 now), includingPTSD, bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder! Everyone I know, outside of the psychiatrists’ offices, say, “No way, you’re not bipolar or borderline. Not at all.” I think I’ve finally hit on what’s wrong and I’m so excited.

I love your story and thank you for sharing it – I relate to so much of it!

Except I don’t have children. Lord have mercy, no. I would really lose my mind. I can barely keep my cat fed. Ha!

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[ashockley55]

Wow. I am learning so much. ADD all along! And here I was just feeling like a weird-o. My mind is reeling. Ya’ll are all like looking in a mirror at myself, or seeing myself with glasses on after looking at myself all blurry for many, many years.

Um, so I have to say, my addictions:

carbs/sweets

television

the interwebs

my blowdryer (white noise)

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[ashockley55]

Gosh, the more I read on here, the more I find myself saying, “That’s me!” I go around in a million directions, completely in a panic because I start to do one thing then come across another thing to do. I feel pulled in a million different directions and overwhelmed. I think this is where the lack of motivation comes from – who can motivate themselves to do one thing when it’s *never* *just* *one* *thing* is it? And I’m such a perfectionist, I can’t handle just doing a little bit of something. Oy! I just wanted to say I can relate.

I have, however, become more gentle with myself lately since discovering that I think I have ADD, and *will* allow myself to do a little bit of something – that provides me with enough motivation to actually get done more than I planned! It’s kind of like lowering my expectations allows me to exceed my expectations, if that makes any sense? I tell myself, “You don’t have to clean the kitchen perfectly before work, just wipe it down a little bit.” And I end up getting the kitchen wiped down, and a few other things done to boot. I’m learning that stuff doesn’t take nearly as much time as I was obsessively worried about it taking if I just go ahead and get started and, again, this is key, lower my expectations for myself.

Oh, and I have the little wipey board on my refrigerator too, Bill! It’s kind of my catch-all for to-do’s and important stuff I need to write down.

Anybody out there trying to keep up with two calendars? Ha ha! I have a home calendar hanging in my cabinet in my kitchen, and then a travel calendar I keep in my purse, and I drive myself bonkers wondering and worrying if I’ve got everything down on both calendars, or if I forgot to put something on both calendars. Lord, I shoot myself in the foot sometimes!!!

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[ashockley55]

Ha ha ha!

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[ashockley55]

Thanks for that munchkin! I’m going to watch it now!! Woo hoo!

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[ashockley55]

Good luck, Robert! I hope things go well! I’m awaiting my appt. Feb. 13, I hope to have my (self)diagnosis confirmed!

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[ashockley55]

I think you’re right! I’m definitely realizing that a lot of my supposedly eccentric/anal/OCD behaviors are absolutely coping mechanisms for ADD! (Although, I do have OCD – I do the tapping, touching until it “feels right” thing to keep people I love from dying or other bad things from happening, oy!)

I only buy the one type and color of socks!! I totally do! ha ha ha!

Also, I do the thing where I stand there and wait for my pen to be returned if someone is using it. If they walk off with it to give it back later, I get so nervous! I hate being put off for something I need with, “I’ll get it later” or “I’ll give it back in a minute” or “Remind me.” Remind YOU?! Now I have one more thing on my brain to remember when it can barely keep up with just the normal stuff!

Gosh – ADD diagnosis, where have you BEEN all my life??

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[ashockley55]

I’d say I usually either go for a walk, or find some cleaning task to do. Usually though, I end up just laying there watching tv, being bored and restless!

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[ashockley55]

Oh yes, Munchkin good point! I agree, I do think a lot of the perfectionism has to do with trying to make up with perceived deficits from living our lives with this disorder – not fitting in socially, continuously making mistakes. Yes, yes, yes.

I think my mom also has ADD, and she is a hoarder. I grew up in a very dirty, cluttered home. Love my mama, but that is the truth! As a result, I keep my place very sparce, and I continuously go through my stuff, throw out things, organize and re-organize. Part biology, part experience – nature and nurture definitely!

And yes to the antsy!

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[ashockley55]

oh, THANK YOU! I feel so validated! ha ha! To use a therapy term. Wow.

I really feel like I have found The Thing. I have been diagnosed, in the past, with depression and OCD, then when I started bringing up those restless, impulsive, shop-a-holic, insomnia symptoms, I got slammed with a bipolar disorder diagnosis and put on some pretty harsh drugs to treat it. Those drugs helped with my depression and insomnia, but I still had that inner restlessness and that drive to perfection, mostly through shopping and purchasing The Best product. Plus, I gained 100 lbs.

So much else is coming out and smacking me upside the forehead as ding! ding! ding! this is YOU! the more I read about this condition. Wow.

Thanks again for the validation! I have so much hope.

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