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This makes me double upset that my doctor’s appt. was cancelled this morning. >:-[
REPORT ABUSEAfternoon nap with the cats. I just did that yesterday. Well, I just have the one cat. Maybe I should get more. Plural sounds even better.
But….really? The Adderall helps you avoid that? Cause, I really had other stuff I could’ve done yesterday and just couldn’t find the motivation to do it.
REPORT ABUSEI have usually resigned before getting fired. I took the failure on myself just the same, though, with all the guilt and damage to self-esteem. I felt like a failure AND a quitter. I resigned from a job teaching high school English, then a job teaching middle school (thought it would be better, it was worse – what a fool I was) and a job at Books-a-Million after about two hours. (You mean I have to stand here and be quiet and just wait for people to come up and check out books? And I have to ask them to try a magazine subscription? Ugh. No. Gotta get outta HERE right now!) I believe (not officially diagnosed) I have ADD, and social anxiety (diagnosed). Also, under those circumstances, lol, a hefty does of depression.
Teaching was not the job for me. Right now, I’m waitressing. It allows me to run around in circles and expend energy, it’s relatively easy, and I can leave work at work. It’s a little stressful because I’m so forgetfull and get anxious, but it’s okay. I’d like to do something that better meets my intelligence level, but hopefully that will come down the line.
At work waitressing, I got my nickname, “Squirrel.”
REPORT ABUSEDitto here. I embarrass myself a lot tripping and stumbling over my words. I do a lot of starting one word and switching to another in the middle of it. I sound a lot like that character from, was it Looney Tunes, I think? I get so concerned with trying to say what I want to say correctly, that I do a lot of stumbling and starting then changing my mind in the middle of a sentence. It can be very hard to have patience to listen to me. I also patch two different phrases together sometimes. I’m a waitress, and this can be, well, both hysterical and disconcerting for the guests, depending on their sense of humor. But yes, I do the talking too fast thing. When I was diagnosed bipolar it was called the “pressured speech” aspect of that disorder. I can say outrageous, embarrassing things that are inappropriate, except I happen to work in an environment where it is a little more accepting. Not that I would ever want to work in a stuffy, conservative office, but I would like to acquire more for my life than working as a waitress. I’m intelligent, and I think I am capable of doing more with my brain than serve up green beans.
It’s funny, because even though I’ll pop off with something inappropriate, I’ll get embarrassed I said it. So people look at me strange when I say something and then turn red. It’s like, YOU said it, why are you getting embarrassed???
Lord. lol.
But YES, I also have the mama thing. She’s the only one I feel comfortable with enough to get my thoughts out with.
REPORT ABUSEThis all sounds soooo familiar. I am not officially diagnosed yet. I’m a little scared because I keep hearing about the medicine kind of pooping out on people. That makes me not feel quite as hopeful!!
REPORT ABUSEMerryMac,
You are my soulmate and I love you.
(okay, so I know I’m new here, and ya’ll might not know my sense of humor yet and might think I’m a weird-o, so this is just a disclaimer that I’m not a weird-o, and I’m just showing appreciation for the above post. Thanks!)
Amber
REPORT ABUSEWow, Bill! That was awesome! I really needed that! Thank you!
REPORT ABUSE“everything I say never feels 100% how I feel and think” “I’m afraid of expressing too much or not enough”
YES!!
REPORT ABUSEWow! I’m so glad ya’ll have responded! Seems like repetitive thought really is a thing in the ADD community, and maybe the overactive imagination bit, too.
Robert, thanks so much for your advice. I really am excited but also anxious about the appointment because I feel that it’s up to me to get myself the right diagnosis! That’s a lot of pressure! Who knows what I could be diagnosed with next if I happen to get lost and focus on one aspect over another, or use the wrong words to talk about something! I’m learning that it really is quite subjective. One psychiatrist can hear me talk about my restlessness and go to bipolar disorder, another psychiatrist can hear my talk about my low self-esteem and reactive emotions and go to borderline personality disordeer! I’ve read that verbal communication is difficult for ADDer’s, especially because of the organization issues, that makes sense, and I do have a hard time feeling like I’m getting myself across to people. I know I shouldn’t beat myself up for it, but I do feel responsible for getting the wrong diagnosis to some degree. Maybe I exaggerated my symptoms? Maybe I didn’t tell them about something I should have?
Thanks so much for your comments and shares, ya’ll!
REPORT ABUSEI have an appt. Feb. 13th. I haven’t seen a psychiatrist in over a year, when I had a change in insurance and my psychiatrist dropped me like a stone! They didn’t even work with me to titrate off my meds. I had to go through withdrawal from a mood stabilizer and an anti-psychotic on my own. Since then, I haven’t been on any meds, and I’ve been relatively okay, which has been a revelation for me, and had me wondering, “So, what IS wrong with me?” I know there’s something, but it’s clearly (to me, and to many around me) not bipolar disorder. I’m able to survive, but not thrive. I want to thrive.
Anyway, I’ve seen a number of psychiatrists of varying levels of attentiveness to my needs, and the diagnosis has ranged/evolved from depression to bipolar disorder, to, at one point, from one psychiatrist, after one visit, borderline personality disorder!
I’m currently on a privatized Medicare plan, and have only two options to chose from for a psychiatrist. I’m hoping the one I picked works out!
REPORT ABUSEThanks for your response and question, Robert! I very rarely remember my dreams. I’m getting scared when I’m wide awake! Again, I should stress that I don’t actually see anything, I just freak myself out imagining that they could be there. It’s the same as imagining there could be an attacker hiding behind a darkened corner (which, I do that also, and, actually, I think having an imagination like that can sometimes keep a woman safe, it’s better than being unaware and oblivious) but I seem not to have matured beyond childhood fears of ghosts and monsters in the closet.
REPORT ABUSEHow about, “You look great today! I really appreciate how much effort you put into looking nice. You can really tell!”
REPORT ABUSEI am both shy and impulsive in my social interactions. This has the unfortunate result of me blurting out some outrageous comment, then turning red. I don’t mind blurting out the outrageous comment, I think there’s a part of me that is very extraverted and dramatic, and I like that part of me, ADD or not, but I just wish that I woudln’t turn red after I said it. It’s like my shy self and my extraverted self are at war with each other. It’s embarrassing to turn red, and then I turn red even more!
REPORT ABUSEME TOO. Me too, me too, me too to all of this!
For me, sometimes I experience it as fun and creative. I like how my mind goes in a million different directions and makes connections and notices things. I only wish I could get it all OUT succinctly, without repeating myself, or forgetting to come back to one topic or another.
Just the other day I kept asking a friend I had over, “What was the question? Wait, what was I saying? What was the point of that story?” because I would start to say one thing, interrupt myself with a sub-plot, and then forget what the original story was.
I also do a lot of repeating and talking in circles. I’m most embarrassed about that, because I hate to think I am boring the person I’m talking to, or they’re sitting there thinking “You already said that, move ON!!!”
At work (I’m a waitress), they call me Squirrel. Sometimes I play up the ditzy, silly, say-anything, stupid, childish, helpless persona as a coping mechanism, but I really would like to be seen as more competent. Not less creative, not lose any of the thoughts in my head, but definitely more able to handle all the thoughts in my head and manipulate them as I wish.
REPORT ABUSEI haven’t gotten a diagnosis yet, so I’m interested at following other people that are just a step ahead of me, starting medication. Please let me know what your doctor says, and how you continue to experience the medication! I’m very interested in knowing what I can expect!
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