[blackdog]

@Geoduck

Ouch! Sorry to hear you’re still suffering. 🙁 At least you’ve found a little relief. I hope you manage to get rid of the migraines some day.

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[blackdog]

@ramblinon

Yes, not picking up on visual cues is a trait, for some of us. It comes in part from not paying attention, being caught up in our own thoughts too much, just simply missing the cue. It’s also an inability to learn, and remember, social codes, and to adapt to new situations with different codes.

But there are also plenty of ADDers like yourself who are very social and get along well with others. It’s partly just a difference in personality. Different experiences play a role as well, whether social interactions in the past have been mostly positive or mostly negative, and how much social experience you have.

It’s also where you fit on the spectrum, which collection of little quirks you specifically inherited. A lot of us have traits that are very similar to the traits of autism, and some of us actually are autistic. Not picking up on visual cues, or understanding facial expressions, is one of the biggest challenges for people with ASD.

 

 

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[blackdog]

@shutterbug55

LOL, that is just too funny. And I can see myself doing exactly the same thing.

A high five is enough to fill me with dread in the first place. I just don’t have the necessary cooridination. I either move too fast, or too slow, hit their hand too hard, or miss it completely… it’s a miracle I have never given someone a black eye or a broken nose.

I am terrible at picking up on visual cues. I step in to hug someone when they were going to shake my hand, and hold my hand out for a shake when they are moving in for a hug- one time driving my hand right into the other person’s stomach.

And hugging in general just messes me up. It’s just so awkward, I never know exactly what to do. And if someone touches me unexpectedly…. 😯

 

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[blackdog]

 

Hey @trashman,  it’s been awhile. Dont know if you’re still here, but I can totally relate. I finally gave in and signed up for Facebook a little over a year ago and I have had more emotional meltdowns than I can count because of it. I am doing a little better now, just staying away from it as much as possible.

And, no, you are definitely not alone. In fact, I can almost guarantee I’m more screwed up than you. 😉

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[blackdog]

LOL Scattybird, you have no idea how close that description is. I can’t forget to feed him because he’s in my face complaining that he’s hungry all the time. My response is usually “so, what do you want me to do about it?”, but then I take pity on him and go help him find something to eat. I might even cook it for him on a good day. As for walking him, he’s usually happy to wander around Walmart while I wait for my prescriptions to be filled, and he gets a trip to Canadian Tire every now and then. He doesn’t really like going outside much.

Seriously, I agree it is good to have separate interests, spend time apart. And Lord knows I need to do something to keep my mind occupied. But it isn’t good that hours go by with no sign of him and I don’t even think to check and see if he’s still alive.

But I guess that isn’t really so unusual, when I think about it. Most couples spend their days apart and don’t  check on one another or think about each other constantly throughout the day. At least, I think they do. I really have no idea what a “normal” relationship is like.

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[blackdog]

The funny thing is, we do forget, don’t we? Maybe it’s the years of being told that we need to do it this way, or that way, constantly being corrected whenever we try to do our way. Or maybe it’s just that we look at other people and think they are so much more productive, more efficient, more organized and we think that by doing what they do, we will get there too.

One of my biggest “a-ha!” moments was when I realized one day that the other people at work were not actually as organized and productive and on the ball as they seemed to be. They cut corners, covered up their mistakes, pawned their work off on other employees… and just did a sloppy job in a lot of cases. Just because they are able to plan their day and stay on task a little better doesn’t necessarily mean they are doing a better job.

And just because I look like a chicken with its head cut off, make everything up as I go along, get side tracked several times a day, and end up having to stay an hour late to finish up all the things I forgot to do, it doesn’t mean I am doing a worse job. At least I stay late to finish, instead of just dropping everything and walking out, leaving my mess for others to clean up… like *some* people do. 🙄

I have been getting “stuck” again lately, letting that one thing – or one of the one hundred things- on my to-do list hold me back. So I needed another reminder.

And now I need to go and clean the bathroom so that I can get that pot in the kitchen sink washed (the one that’s been there longer than I care to admit). Or maybe I’ll shovel the snow so that I can check my credit card bill…

Or maybe I’ll just take a nap.

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[blackdog]

Good for you, don’t give up.

It is an extreme overreaction, when you think about it. People who want to abuse drugs, or have a problem with addiction, are going to find a way to use drugs no matter what. Even if they put a complete ban on prescription stimulants it wouldn’t make a difference. There are plenty of other drugs available.

 

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[blackdog]

@lindsey3 and @Scattybird

Both of your comments are striking a chord with me- seeing people as add ons, rather than an actual part of your life, and feeling like you are acting in play.

I can act like I am expected to act, like a caregiver and a cook and even a wife if I have to, but it’s really just an act. I don’t feel like I am any of those things. Even going back to when I was a teenager, I can remember when I had to help with the housework I would tie my hair up and wrap a kerchief around my head, grab some rubber gloves, and become a maid for the day. But as soon as the kerchief and gloves came off, I went back to being myself and messing up instead of cleaning up.

And if my husband didn’t make noise I would forget that he exists. Actually, I sometimes just tune out the noise too, until he comes looking for me to tell me that he’s been calling me. Every now and then I’ll think maybe I should go watch the game with him, or see if he wants to watch a movie, but then I just forget agian two seconds later and go on with whatever I am  doing.

I always felt bad about not making my own lunch more often, kicking myself for wasting money buying food when I had food at home that I could have used. But I never could plan ahead enough to buy the ingredients and make something with them. And when I did the stuff always sat in the fridge until it went bad.

Like when I was buying frozen burritos at the grocery store and decided that it would be better to make my own. It would be healthier that way, I could control the ingredients, and I could put more spices in them. And it would save time and trouble tool make it easier to get to work on time. I could make them all up on my day off and wrap them and freeze them and have lunch ready to go for the next two weeks…. Easy, right? I can remember coming up with this plan at least two or three times. And every time I bought the stuff to make them, threw it in the fridge  and forgot it  was there.

 

 

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[blackdog]

@lindsey3 and @Scattybird

Both of your comments are striking a chord with me- seeing people as add ons, rather than an actual part of your life, and feeling like you are acting in play.

I can act like I am expected to act, like a caregiver and a cook and even a wife if I have to, but it’s really just an act. I don’t feel like I am any of those things. Even going back to when I was a teenager, I can remember when I had to help with the housework I would tie my hair up and wrap a kerchief around my head, grab some rubber gloves, and become a maid for the day. But as soon as the kerchief and gloves came off, I went back to being myself and messing up instead of cleaning up.

And if my husband didn’t make noise I would forget that he exists. Actually, I sometimes just tune out the noise too, until he comes looking for me to tell me that he’s been calling me. Every now and then I’ll think maybe I should go watch the game with him, or see if he wants to watch a movie, but then I just forget agian two seconds later and go on with whatever I am  doing.

I always felt bad about not making my own lunch more often, kicking myself for wasting money buying food when I had food at home that I could have used. But I never could plan ahead enough to buy the ingredients and make something with them. And when I did the stuff always sat in the fridge until it went bad.

Like when I was buying frozen burritos at the grocery store and decided that it would be better to make my own. It would be healthier that way, I could control the ingredients, and I could put more spices in them. And it would save time and trouble tool make it easier to get to work on time. I could make them all up on my day off and wrap them and freeze them and have lunch ready to go for the next two weeks…. Easy, right? I can remember coming up with this plan at least two or three times. And every time I bought the stuff to make them, threw it in the fridge  and forgot it  was there.

 

 

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[blackdog]

@xoallonsy

I can’t say I have experienced that effect from a hangover, but I get what you’re saying. Like Scattybird, I am sometimes more efficient when I am tired. It also happens when I’m sick. The lack of energy makes it impossible for any non-essential systems to function, so everything is shut down except for “life support”, the basics that you need to get through the day.

Then there are days like today when my energy reserves are so depleted that I can barely manage to do anything except sit like bump on a log and watch life go by.

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[blackdog]

@ramblinon

I scored 95%. I walked into the office after completing the tests and I hadn’t even sat down before he said “You have ADHD”.

@gianmaria

Good to see you are still here. Don’t worry about not having much to say, just say anything. That’s what I do. 🙂

I skimmed over a bit of your post. I’m getting pretty tired now and really should have been in bed 2 hours ago, so can’t read it all.

One thing I noticed is you were questioning whether two appointments and a few tests was enough for a diagnosis. That is pretty standard, except for the computer tests ramblinon mentioned. I know it doesn’t seem like much, I thought the same thing, and questioned whether it was a real diagnosis or not. But it’s all we really have to go on. The real proof is in your day to day life. I have been on medication for a little over a year now and I still can’t keep the house clean or remember appointments or keep track of the bills or figure out what happened to the pen I just had in my hand 2 minutes ago. I don’t honestly think I ever will be able to do those things.

I understand what you mean about feeling like there is something broken inside of you. I’m feeling a little depressed about that myself tonight, after another day of complete failures. It’s the hardest part of having  ADD, knowing that you are smart, and capable, and there is nothing really “wrong” with you, and yet still not being able to do those things that you *know* you should be able to do. And thats what makes hard to accept that it is a real disability, for us as well as other people. It’s very confusing sometimes.

And I am going on way too long, which is a sign I should be going to bed…

Best of luck, I hope you can get into a psychiatrist soon. They are in short supply where I live too, so I know how frustrating it is.

Keep posting whenever you can. 🙂

 

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[blackdog]

@honda

This is very strange. And it’s not the first time someone has posted about it here. I don’t understand what this letter from the College of Physicians & Surgons is about, or why its being sent out to doctors.

I can’t really give you much advice about how to get a prescription because I don’t understand the situation. You are correct that going to a walk-in clinic and asking for a controlled substance is not a good idea. They won’t write you a prescription, not even with proof of your diagnosis. Also, they will send a report back to your doctor, which could make the situation worse.

Now that I think about it, this could explain why my doctor suddenly seemed hesitant to prescribe medication for me when 10 years ago he practically tried to shove it down my throat. I ended up asking him for a referral to a psychiatrist who does ADHD assessments. The psychiatrist recommended Vyvanse, and the doctor went along with it, though reluctantly.

The only thing I can suggest is taking to your doctor about it and trying to get through to him. If that doesn’t work, ask for a referral to a psychiatrist who will prescribe medication. It is probably better if you have a referral than just going to another doctor on your own, which may look suspicious. You could also try asking him to prescribe a non-stimulant medication, such as Welbutrin. It might be better than nothing. (just be sure to check out all the options first and know what the side effects are and if it is a good choice for you or not)

As for having trouble expressing yourself, that is a common problem for a lot of us. Try to work out what you want to say ahead of time and write it all down. Then just read from your notes, and don’t let him interrupt you or cut you off. If you can take a friend or family member with you for support that would be great.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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[blackdog]

Oh no, it is definitely not just you.

Sometimes figuring out what to eat seems like so much work I just don’t bother. I feel hungry, walk to the fridge and open it, stand there staring at the contents for a few moments, then just shut the door and walk away. Either that or grab whatever happens to be in my line of sight that doesn’t require washing, peeling, chopping, cooking etc.

I only cook dinner because I have other people to feed and even then it’s almost always whatever I decide on at the moment, when they start asking “what’s for dinner?”. I have tried to make meal plans, so that I can budget the grocery money more carefully and cut back on waste, but it never works.

When I first started taking medication my doctor asked me if it was helping and I said I thought it was. Then he said “Well, how do you know? Have you challenged yourself at all?”

It was at that moment that I realized just how little he understands about ADHD.

My first challenge of the day is waking up when my alarm goes off. The next is actually getting out of bed, without hitting snooze 6 times. Then I have to figure out what day of the week it is, if there is a reason I set my alarm for this time, if there is somewhere I need to be…. Then there is showering, brushing my teeth and hair, making coffee, getting something to eat (if I remember to eat), taking my meds (if I remember), remembering if I took my meds or not… etc., etc….By the time I’m done all that, I’m ready to go back to bed again. And my day hasn’t even really begun.

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[blackdog]

@kc5jck

Thank you. I was hasty in typing that “bad day” post. I should have waited until I settled down a little, filtered through my thoughts a little more. But then I probably wouldn’t have done it.

I am doing better now, though it comes and goes. Was great yesterday morning, then got depressed as the day went on. Little better again today, at least until I come across something that sets me off again. That’s the problem- I am surrounded by my past, by all the things that are so hard to face, so heartbreaking to think about. But I have no choice because I have to keep going through everytginhing and getting it cleaned up and sorted out.

But maybe it’s for the best, because I will finally deal with it and get it over with instead of trying to pretend it’s not there. Though I agree the shiny things are better to look at, it’s looking at the shiny things that got me into this mess in the first place. You can’t just have the good without  the bad and the ugly.

And on that note, I better pull myself up off of this couch and get a wiggle on before I make us late for our appointment this afternoon.

I hope everything goes well with selling your business and you have lots of shiny days ahead. 🙂

 

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[blackdog]

Well, since I have made a mess of my life on all fronts, I am probably not qualified to comment here. But that’s never stopped me before… 😉

I would say keep an open mind. You never know what the future might hold. If you don’t feel the need to get married or have children, then don’t let others pressure you into it. But someday you might meet someone you really, really like and get along with so well that you can stand the thought of being together forever. And that is a rare opportunity you may not want to turn down.

The day I found myself in a long term relationship (quite by accident) was the day my life really began to fall apart. Suddenly I had this other person demanding my attention, expecting me to take care of him, disrupting my nice little daily routines. Top that off with suddenly having to take care of my parents when they simultaneously developed serious health problems, and having no financial security due to jobs coming and going (mostly going), and it’s no wonder I’m a mess. I couldn’t possibly manage having kids now, but it wasn’t a conscious decision on my part. I just never thought about it much, and never thought that it would reach the point where it was no longer an option, that the decision would be made for me.

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