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Carrie

Carrie

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  • January 31, 2011 at 12:52 am in reply to: Still Skeptical #99761

    Carrie
    Member
    January 31, 2011 at 12:52 am
    Post count: 529

    I guess being gentle with ones self and listening to the heart is key! Works well when your impulsive! :P hahaha

    I love all advice, and all views!

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    January 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm in reply to: Go public, or keep it a secret? #97674

    Carrie
    Member
    January 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm
    Post count: 529

    I just found out about mine on…. Gosh, not long ago. Wednesday? Tuesday? One of those days (I dont have my planner here!), and was excited, scared, and nervous to tell people. I didnt want anyone to know since I kinda trying to make sense of it all myself (though it makes everything SO clear!). My mom drug it out of me, and then my sister heard cause im a loud talker so she knew, and then of course my husband knows, but I REALLY wanted to tell my dad about it since he is the EXACT same way I AM!

    Im not on meds just yet, but if they do what everyone says, I know they will not only change my life, but more so my dads! I finally told him last night on the phone, but I couldnt explain myself too well (I was going to fast for either of us to keep up haha), but I at least got the point across that he should seriously get checked out too. I really cant wait to get the DVD (will probably order it tonight) and then can watch and show others and let it do the explaining for me.

    Im still a little nervous about going completely public with it. But I wont hide if someone asks. I will continue to be me, and thats that!

    (late for work!)

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    January 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm in reply to: Still Skeptical #99757

    Carrie
    Member
    January 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm
    Post count: 529

    Njadd, I agree! All of you here are amazing!

    Toofat – Yes my internal journey. I guess im just at that age where I want to know who I am, why im here, and the greater purpose to life. Im tired of running in circles and dead ends, and cover ups (drugs, alcohol, etc). I did humor a friend about the ADD part, but I think its really playing a big part (of course it is) in who I am, and why I do the things I do “Ooooh look at this pretty light *touch* OUCH!! that hurt! *2mins later* Ooooh look at this pretty light! *touch* OUCH that hurt! What the heck would I do that again! *and repeat*” I dont want to repeat anymore, slowly im not, but others are getting hurt as am I. Im not worried about the book containing spirituality. I believe in God. Not man, or what man has made God out to be, but I figure, “God if your real, then teach like you did before all this religion garbage, if you are what you say, I know you can and will do it”. Little steps! One day at a time! I will look up the book, and all the other books! Will buy the DVDs (need to get out pen and paper to write them all down! haha)

    Thanks again all you wonderful people!

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    January 29, 2011 at 9:29 pm in reply to: Still Skeptical #99753

    Carrie
    Member
    January 29, 2011 at 9:29 pm
    Post count: 529

    Oh and Rick, I just read over what you said and saw: Then I realize these aren’t moral sins, but simply symptoms of a brain that’s short of key chemicals in certain spots.

    Wow! I love this statement! I will remember this!! Thank you!

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    January 29, 2011 at 9:28 pm in reply to: Still Skeptical #99752

    Carrie
    Member
    January 29, 2011 at 9:28 pm
    Post count: 529

    Rick – Thanks for the reply. Your right. I cant wait to start treatment and see the difference it will make! UGH its hard waiting!!

    Jen – I love your view on “storms”, I never thought of it that way before. My husband and kids know very well im not angry with them ever. And when I do soemthing stupid I always apologise and explain to them how I was wrong. I have come a long way since being with my husband. When we first were going out I was really bad, but he has helped me calm down so much and I have learned to trust him and go to him when I just cant do things or get overwhlemed.

    Kazuo – The responses are very amazing! I never thought I would have so many excellent answers and support! Thank you all!!

    To post a question go to Forums, then click a title (work, etc) then scroll all the way to the bottom and you will find a place like this one to post a title and your thoughts, questiong etc!! Good luck! I hope this helped!

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    January 29, 2011 at 12:47 pm in reply to: Still Skeptical #99746

    Carrie
    Member
    January 29, 2011 at 12:47 pm
    Post count: 529

    Hey K,

    Wow that is quite an adventure! I have not seen the DVD no, I will certainly buy it and watch it, and have been looking into something, anything, to help me learn how to organize.

    As for relationships, I really lucked out. I have been married 4 years this year, we’ve been together for 7. It hasnt been easy. Been quite rough. I call myself the “bad one” of the relationship due to my ever changing mood and impulsiveness. But thank God my husband is VERY patient and VERY supportive. He is my all and has helped me greatly. We are in this together for the long haul and strongly feel that way. We’ve had our long nights talking and crying, and sorting things out (mainly my actions and brain). I think its going to be hard to forgive myself for all the things I have put him through and all the pain I have cause him. It still brings tears to my eyes at this moment. But I do understand that in a storm I can be happy.

    I have encountered many storms so far and thankful for everyone of them because they have shaped who I am, and have taught me many things about life. I generally have a good outlook on everything, I believe life is what you make it. However I fail to be nice to myself. I am one of those people who are hard on themselves “I could have done better, why did I do this again when I KNOW it was stupid the first time etc”. I can see everything and everyone else in such a positive light, as for me… Im trying. I always say IM AWESOME! But at times feel like the worst person in the world. I then think, “I can’t all be that bad because my husband and kids love me so much (especially my husband after Ive hurt him so bad), are still here and have kept me around” which has kept me going in a good way. I’ve asked how he could love me when at times I can be so nasty, and he told me the times when im happy and hyper far outweigh my moodiness and are worth it. That always makes me feel better.

    But now I am walking a new walk, I HAVE hope that things can change where I was starting to lose hope!

    Thanks again!

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    January 29, 2011 at 5:46 am in reply to: Still Skeptical #99744

    Carrie
    Member
    January 29, 2011 at 5:46 am
    Post count: 529

    Toofat,

    I agree with you. I think the “way” our brains work is excellent as well. Elite? Im not as bold hahaha (I do think its cooler hahaha). I guess I am still not grasping the concept of how people can’t see or understand in the ways I do when it is so effortless, but then I guess it goes the other way, cause they tell me simple things (bad example) 1+1=2, I don’t get it. “What do you mean it equals two? That doesnt make sense! How? Are you sure? Really? Your serious??” hahaha

    I think a really silly moment for me was 2 years ago when I realized that things that say they are made in China are REALLY MADE there and COME from there. My husband laughed his head off and asked me what I thought that tag meant, and I said “I guess I never really thought about it before” hahaha

    Anyways, enough of the trail off… I really like your view. I cant wait to find my “niche”. In this last year I have been thinking about who I really am, what kind of person I want to be, not what others tell me I should be or expect me to be. Find out what I stand for and fight to the end for it, instead of being so indecisive. I was starting to get depressed and boggled down by “my” laziness, lack of motivation, failure to finish anything, and not being able to organise my thoughts never mind my piles of papers everywhere! Im happy I found out that these things can be solved and that it wasn’t my fault (cause God knows ive tried and tried to fix them!!).

    I am so overwhelmed by all the support here, I finally feel at home and like I belong somewhere!!

    Thank you all soooooooooo much!!

    Carrie

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    January 28, 2011 at 9:01 pm in reply to: Still Skeptical #99742

    Carrie
    Member
    January 28, 2011 at 9:01 pm
    Post count: 529

    Yes! That is exactly how I feel/am/have been told. I just feel so overwhelmed and awesome at the same time that finally things make sense and Im really not alone (which when in a small town out in the middle of no where, you tend to BE). I cant wait to get treated and figure out whats next and get this brain under control so I can take charge of all my ideas and actually work on and finish my creations! It all seems too good to be true that is all possible, yet still be my quirky me!

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    January 28, 2011 at 4:24 pm in reply to: Still Skeptical #99739

    Carrie
    Member
    January 28, 2011 at 4:24 pm
    Post count: 529

    Thanks a lot for the advice K! You are right. :)

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    January 28, 2011 at 3:51 pm in reply to: Still Skeptical #99737

    Carrie
    Member
    January 28, 2011 at 3:51 pm
    Post count: 529

    Thanks K!

    I guess im most afraid of those people who wont/dont understand and just not take me seriously or brush it off like “pfff ADD right, whatever you say!”. I was always proud of being different, it is what makes me, me, but there was never a “name” for it (just like everyone else but a little “weird”).

    Your right, I should not get hung up on it. But how do I accept it? I’m still a little unsure myself what its really about even though ive had countless interviews and done countless tests the past few months. I was more humoring a friend of mine who has ADD and thought I had it too, now he laughs because he knew I did, but I didnt believe him. I would LOVE to buy one of these T-shirts and prance around saying “I HAVE ADD! I HAVE ADD!” but then people would think im just putting on a show “because I have ADD!” thats what im afraid of, not being able to be me because now people will think im just putting on a show.

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    January 28, 2011 at 5:19 am in reply to: Still Skeptical #99734

    Carrie
    Member
    January 28, 2011 at 5:19 am
    Post count: 529

    Thanks for the reply Nellie. I never thought of the grieving process! Thanks! I will definatly be aware of it and will check out the book!

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    January 27, 2011 at 6:58 pm in reply to: Still Skeptical #99731

    Carrie
    Member
    January 27, 2011 at 6:58 pm
    Post count: 529

    Thanks for the reply! Wow this is an awesome answer! 30 is not old :P I work with elderly, 60 to me is young! hahaha

    I will try to relax but right now of course my mind is still racing a million miles an hour especially with all this new info!

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    January 27, 2011 at 6:56 pm in reply to: Songs that inspire you #99701

    Carrie
    Member
    January 27, 2011 at 6:56 pm
    Post count: 529

    hahaha thats awesome! Yeah I too love Prodigy! I LOVE music that just gets you going! Makes me very hyper and happy and then im bouncing all over the place while my husband is trying to settle me down and tells me to back up when im in his face all happy hahaha I LOVE to clean my house with awesome fast paced music! What im doing now, and browsing here!

    Pendulum is AWESOME. They’re songs “fasten your seatbelt” “Painkillers” are great too!

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    January 27, 2011 at 6:15 pm in reply to: Songs that inspire you #99699

    Carrie
    Member
    January 27, 2011 at 6:15 pm
    Post count: 529

    “Cold War” by Janelle Monae

    Its such an amazing song, and at this time in my life is a motivation and shaping who I am. Look it up on youtube!!

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    January 27, 2011 at 3:02 pm in reply to: Just Diagnosed Today #98290

    Carrie
    Member
    January 27, 2011 at 3:02 pm
    Post count: 529

    Thanks!!

    I will look up the book! Im in limbo right now. Waiting for the psychiatrist to contact my Dr. and the lady I was talking to in mental health to let them know and go from there. I missed all the last part of our conversation, so Im a little lost as to what happens next and waiting on my Doc. hahaha

    Carrie

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