[Dennis]

The emotion is just that, IMHO.

Depression is depression, with it’s own descriptors that define it.

ADHD has a pretty good set of tests that look at what you perceive, and also on how others perceive you, and of course the opinion of the doctor(s). So I believe that diagnoses to date are quite accurate.

Being ADHD is just what you are. Depression is what you become. My depression has much to do with my ADHD life, but I think to be fair, it was mostly not knowing and understanding that I was ADHD all this time. I have gone out my way to tell my ADHD kids (2 outta’ 3) that ADHD is natural and normal, but comes with the complications of living in a world that is not mostly ADHD- or orderly if you like. (You know, those right-handed can-openers are a pain for a left-handed person. – I’m right handed but some things befuddle me See http://youtu.be/bERLXxkwhrI )

If your son is raging on, and no one is around to feed his rage, then I think that his rage should at the very least be addressed with a professional. ADHD can and does lead to frustration, but it’s important to understand that frustration is not ADHD.

I think that experts are experts, and I think you will find that most agree on what ADHD is.

I also, with respect, draw a line or several lines as to who is an expert, and those who would claim to be an expert, and whom you believe is an expert. (is Whom correct here??) I’ve heard a Holistic practitioner claim to cure ADHD, and then just as quickly retract the statement when challenged on the statement. My point is, I would not expect my dentist to say he could cure ADHD either. That’s not what a dentist does.

I suppose knowing what is ADHD, the traits and behaviour helps a great deal. Forgetting keys once, who knows? Forgetting you keys, then not knowing where you put them, and then looking and looking, and then borrowing your wife’s keys (you know where this is going, right!), getting in the car, and then taking your keys out of your pocket.. over and over.. despite being clever enough to say to yourself ‘I’ll put my keys right here, so I won’t forget where they are.’.. and so on…

I think I’m going off topic here. I’ll stop while I’m ahe… while I’m here.

😆

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[Dennis]

Stopping for red lights is VERY important.

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[Dennis]

sdwa

This sounds quite serious to me. I think it’s important to remember that you are the parent and that you have certain expectations and certain rules that you expect every one in the home follow, or face consequences. ADHD might give a reason for some behaviour, but it is not an excuse for out-of-control behaviour.

I think it’s in your own best interest to get/ or this this at professional counselling. Your son acting in threatening manners and doing physical abuse is not a good thing, or acceptable.

I’m sure this has been mentioned before – ADHD is ADHD. Don’t let the lines get blurred and let ADHD become the fall-guy for another problem. Co-morbids are quite common with ADHD, and if his rage is a result of something else going on, it’s important to know what it is and deal with that separately and immediately.

As for the your son going about as if nothing happened- that sounds so ADHD. Mad for a minute, then nothing- meanwhile those in the wrath path are probably still fuming.

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[Dennis]

From my own experience- my son is now 21,but his year 12 is similar to what you described.

That rage and upset feeds on any fuel, whether it be love or anger or frustration. Mine does. My son’s does. Take the fuel away by giving a little space and a little time and a little silence, may just be the ticket. Your youngster is mad or upset about something, and it may be difficult for him to control his emotional reaction. Keep close, monitor. to make sure it doesn’t turn physical.

Asking him ‘What’s wrong?’ had been a BAD idea with my son, and rightfully so. If he knew what’s really wrong, he probably would act differently-so questions like that are fuel in my experience. Giving my boy space and a little time (often it’s just a few minutes) he’s pretty much done, and he usually welcomes hugs at that point. And with the hugs, he is often the one to start talking. I learned a method of listening by promoting him to continue speaking until he was done. I guess it’s the old story of acknowledging and validating your kids accomplishments, fears, and emotional challenges. I am the least skilled person in the world at this.

Counselling and daily practise is key IMHO. Also, keeping it simple, and keeping it honest and not preachy. It’s actually is easy to practise. I found that most people in my life like to be heard.

A couple of reads-Library

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish and Kimberly Ann Coe

The Explosive Child by Ross W Greene- NB. the concept of CPS- Collaborative Problem Solving became a mainstay at our house.

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[Dennis]

Need a reality check? Have your better half, child, or friend spy on.

-Ask them to spy on you unannounced sometime in the future. Have them make a record what you are doing for a couple of hours someday. Nothing builds self-esteem like having the measure between how much you want to do versus the reality of how little you get done.

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[Dennis]

Tip List #1

Keep house clean and neat by living elsewhere!

Use paper plates to ease the pain of dish washing.

***Bonus: Used paper plates make excellent fire-Frisbees when when soaked in bacon grease, ignited, and tossed. For best results choose to toss your fire-Frisbee in the evening hours in a wooded area… near a lake. Hunter’s and campers alike will be impressed and entertained. I’m sure they will run excitedly to tell all their friends about your glowing disc. Take care not to ignite any wildlife with your fire-Frisbee. A flaming furry bunny rabbit can quickly spread a fire in a heavily wooded areas, Chances are, Smokey won’t be around to catch and eat this BBQ Bugs!

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[Dennis]

I figure the bouncing knee is just another coping mechanism that I do to help me seem otherwise still. I do it quite unconsciously. I’ve had comments also on my spinning of my watch band around my wrist while I’m talking. My daughter makes me friendship bracelets that I wear often, saving my wrist somewhat.

I do recall that as a child, I would try so very hard to sit still when asked. It didn’t worked, and I would be exhausted from just trying. The whole point of sitting still, I was told, was so I could pay better attention in class. This of course, was not the case.

What they didn’t know back then was that I most likely would learn better with less squirming around if they had a different method of teaching the likes of me. (60’s, 70’s)

I would think with the vast numbers of ADHDers on the rolls, public school institutions would realize many positive results by directly addressing ADHD, in that they may advance creative solutions for many other teaching challenges in the process.

Just thinking out loud.

(leave me alone, grammar cops!) : ^ )

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[Dennis]

Although you will need a referral, there is nothing stopping you from shopping out psychologist in the mean time. I have a GP, but I found my own psychologist. I went back to my Gp , and he had no problem writing a referral to my choice of psychologist. In Ottawa there are many qualified to investigate for ADHD, many for youth, and some who deal with adults.

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[Dennis]

Taught myself to play guitar (poorly) going on ten years. I was 43 then. I’ve just stepped up to electric!

There is a couple of other instruments I play exceptionally well, although they are not instruments in usual sense.

– the steering wheel-dashboard-leather seat combo.

– the kitchen table, when I can find the surface of it.

– elevator handrails.

– range hood.

There are more that I don’t recall at the moment.

😉

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[Dennis]

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! I appreciate you effort!!!

Q. How do you keep ADHDers from being distracted away from TotallyADD?

A. Add a ‘Search’ feature!

Thanks Again!!!

Dennis

Ridiculously Happy

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[Dennis]

A bunch of timers:

-Three egg timers ~ I am bound to find one of them when I need one. Make sure the bell is loud, this way you can put them out of the annoying ticking range but still hear the alarm go off.

-Two watches with countdown alarms with a repeat function ~ Same reason, I’m bound to find one. Saves me from clock watching. Alarm goes off, I get my treat time (a break).

-I’m a FireFox user. They have a bunch of timer addons! My favorites are ‘ReminderFox’ and ‘Simple Timer’ because both of these allow me to set a .wav file as the alarm. I have a collection of wavs including Monty Python, Bugs Bunny, and more.

I find that once I start to ignore one of my timers, it’s time to use a different one.

Some advice I was given or I read or I possibly made up:

– Keep repeat timers to about 20 to 40 minutes if you can. Take an actual break of some sort. If you groovin’ on something then turn off the timer and hyperfocus onward.

There is a company in the US that sells a somewhat expensive watch with a vibrating alarm. I did a little research, and although I can’t remember exactly what specific models, I know that Timex and Casio make watches with vibrating alarms. I haven’t come across the Timex in the wild, but I have seen one of the Casio models at Wallyworld, aka. WalMart, about a month back. It has a surprisingly strong vibration. A silent alarm would be great at meeting or in classroom, even if it’s just there to remind you to refocus.

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[Dennis]

Hey! Yep! A punch list is just how @billd describe it! So I don’t mess up my working rhythm, I do most of the checks when I’m done the first draft, and then again when I have a finished copy.

I make a template for a list for big things I do. For example. When I prepared catalogs for clients, I found myself making many of the same mistakes every time I prepared a new one.

So my list would include:

Cover Page

Dates

Deals

Terms

List of Products

Product Numbers

Prices

and stuff like that (been out of that for about ten years).

This way I could keep track of each section and what I had done to it, including having it proofed by someone else.

It sounds complicated, and at first it is, but once you make even a small list, then keep track of mistakes and add them to your list.

You quickly end up with a list of things to double check, and a way to verify the fact that you did.

Have someone else go through the work is a life saver.

I also make use text-to-speech, as @Michael does.

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[Dennis]

I use extra eyes to check work. Kind of a buddy system.

Your use project management software I assume.

Have you tried using a punch list? I find it saves me over-checking a lot of work.

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[Dennis]

@Bill

Hi Bill, don’t mind me. This is not personal, so please take my criticism for what it is. Criticism of hypnosis.

I will absolutely not discount the skill of the hypnotherapist. If a hypnotist is a trained and certified in clinical mental health or as trained mental health counselor, and is licensed to practice, then a hypnotist can deliver those services that meet the license without objection from me.

Yep! Anyone can achieve exactly what the hypnotist can offer as a hypnotist. I’m sure a hypnotist will tell you that. Guided is not meant to be an exotic term that is meant to intone some great special skill needed to get one to relax and let go, so to speak. It is just a guide. Larynxa points to meditation, which for all intents and purposes, does more good, with the exception of the weirdo’s who produce meditation “FILL IN PROBLEM HERE” cd’s and DVDs. Mediation is meditation, not an industry.

Certainly an anxious person, or a person who feels hopeless, or a person who feels powerless, or a person suffering from depression, certainly they deserve legitimate, safe, and effective therapy. Hypnotherapy by itself, does not do that. The phrase “Hypnotherapy helps people deal with negative thoughts and behaviors quickly and easily “. Quickly and easily, I have serious doubts with.

CBT is a time tested therapy and a well honed psychological tool. Comparing CBT to hypnosis is ridiculous to me.

Now for my biggest bone of contention. Wendi Friesen.

This women claims, with the use of her hypnosis recordings, you can “Quit Smoking”, “Stop Procrastination”, stop “Bedwetting”, heal “Cancer”, stop “Snoring”, gain “Financial Abundance”, “Increase Penis Size”, increase “Fertility”, “Breast Enlargement”, all in all, about 300 cds and DVDs. This is the world of hypnosis.

That is why I have a problem with the use of hypnosis for anyone, for anything, except entertainment, and even at that the subject will admit to playing along.

Peace

Dennis ʘ‿ʘ

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[Dennis]

I think it is important to remember that hypnosis is nothing more than guided suggestions delivered to a willing participant who is in a “state” of relaxation”, ie. relaxed. Although the studies above state positive findings, the same results can be achieved by following recommended relaxation exercises, by being prepared, and to have contingency plans to go to. No staff required.

That being said, ADHD is a matter of genetics influencing chemistry. There is nothing that hypnosis can offer that will change genes, or affect ADHDs chemistry. Hypnosis won’t cure cancer, or make your bad cholesterol behave. Hypnosis does not do that. It can help you with awareness, relaxation, imagery, l̶e̶v̶i̶t̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶, and the like if you are a willing participant. Nothing more.

We are ADHD. Certain things go with that, whether we are on meds or getting pysch advice or therapy. Wishing and wanting for troublesome symptoms to go away will not work, unless you have a connection with Santa or Barbara Eden. It does mean we can work on things by engaging our symptoms with appropriate tools from your ADHD toolbox.

ʘ‿ʘ

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[Author]

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