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@Fabulous, I’ve spent the majority of my life trying to conform to societal expectations, with increasing stress and poor results. With my ADHD diagnosis, I’ve come to realize putting that much effort into notions of conformity was nothing but hurtful and often counterproductive anyway. I’m still peeling away the layers of ick.
Sometimes I still hear someone who seems “normal” say, Oh I never do XYZ! And I think, You can do that? It’s allowed? But more often, I’ve made peace with being what I am.
I don’t cook. Eh. @Fabulous makes more money than her spouse, good for her. @Trashman is a trash man (I’m making a wild guess here)? Thank goodness! Where would we be without him?
REPORT ABUSEMy daughter has the number-letter color synesthesia and she does not have ADHD. Neither my husband nor I have it, but I’m sure there’s a genetic linkage somewhere. She likes it as well (she’s also very visually-oriented, has always been very interested in color and is now an artist).
REPORT ABUSEThis blog post from CHADD makes some excellent points:
http://www.chaddleadershipblog.blogspot.com/
REPORT ABUSE@Redpurse, repeating myself and unwittingly giving the wrong information are 2 of my many problems in conversation.
I don’t have any perfect solutions, especially for mispeaking, because sometimes that just happens, apparently (people do that to me all that time).
One thing I’m trying to do is not rush into an answer. This has helped me a little bit sometimes. I can’t always remember to take a second and keep my brain from going boing-boing-boing.
I’m notorious for being too detailed, and I’m trying to say less and let people ask questions. That’s moderately effective, again, when I can manage to do it.
REPORT ABUSEFebruary 5, 2013 at 10:25 am in reply to: Adderall and intense thoughts of suicide question. #118860Hey, @improman, everybody’s different. That said, I had a very similar reaction Vyvanse. I stopped and doc switched me to Focalin XR (I take 5 mg), which has worked very well for me. He also prescribed a non-extended release Focalin (only 2.5 mg for me because more hypes me up too much–I guess I’m sensitive) as needed for an afternoon boost.
As a sidenote, I found that my Focalin XR works better if I take it with food.
There are a lot of different formulations of ADHD meds. It’s a pain to have to experiment, but the right pill makes a big difference.
REPORT ABUSE@Jennee, that indeed sounds like a very good plan.
REPORT ABUSEI have experienced all of that. Could you work some kind of signal out with the co-worker to discreetly remind you or divert your attention back to the kids? As an example, maybe she could walk by or even tap you on the shoulder if you’re too engrossed in conversation.
I’ve been training myself to say one thing and then disengage in situations like that. I can do that about 80% of the time now, but I have to practice.
One technique for “performance” situations is take 5-10 minutes just before the stressful situation (in your case, it might be right before leaving for work) to write down your fears and how you would like the situation to go. I’ve had a bit of success with this, although my challenge is to take the time to do the writing. It doesn’t have to be elegant or elaborate, but enough to express anxiety and to visualize a positive outcome.
I picked this up from a book called “Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal About Getting It Right When You Have To” by Sian Bielock. It’s not specifically about ADHD, but studies have shown the technique to be effective. The author says she even uses it to improve her TV appearances.
REPORT ABUSE@jennee, got so excited, I forgot to ask: Are there certain situations in which you talk more? What are the negative aspects of talkiness for you?
REPORT ABUSE@Jennee, I struggle with this as well and haven’t quite defeated the beast yet.
My therapist told me to maintain eye contact and, for me, anyway, that’s very important. When I’m in too deep, I tend to look elsewhere and miss the nonverbal cues that the other person is losing interest.
Also, I’m trying to listen more, really focusing on what is being said. And I’ve just about broken the habit of interrupting to get my thoughts in before I forget. This has taken a lot of practice.
One more thing I’ve used to some success is a watch that beeps at certain intervals. When I know I’m going to be somewhere I’m conversing, like a party, I set it to beep at 10 or 15 minute intervals. This just sort of reminds that time is passing. And certainly reminds me to shut up if I’ve talked the whole time between beeps.
REPORT ABUSE@haraldbenz, sometimes things just don’t work out. The story you recount about how your wife’s reaction to your lovely gift sums it up well.
I wouldn’t be surprised if you find love again. When I was single, I wish I’d known I had ADD and how that affected my relationships. I hope I would have been more conscious of finding someone who pleased me rather than finding someone I pleased. Sure would have saved myself a lot of rollercoaster romances before I remarried, that’s for sure.
REPORT ABUSEIf I may add, @haraldbenz, that is a lovely idea, to toast @ashockley55 as your official date.
@Gardener, I’m with you that commercializing every dadgum thing has taken all the fun out of what use to be enjoyable holidays. Groundhog Day–it’s gone crazy, hasn’t it?
A friend of mine has a chicken calendar with crazy commemorations like Eat Ice Cream Day and Do a Grouch a Favor (she owes me a favor on that day, for sure). We need to have a Totally ADD Day.
REPORT ABUSE@HaraldBenz, those arbitrary benchmarks after a lost romance were hard for me, too. Not that my loneliness wasn’t acute regardless of the date on the calendar. These days I look at love and relationships differently. Do you think your perspective has changed since your diagnosis?
REPORT ABUSE@Ashockley55, I hate to say been there, done, but, well, yeah, I have.
You are early in your post-diagnosis journey, if that’s any consolation. Things will look a little better as you begin to sort through an understanding of your past and begin to shape your future (spoiler alert: thereis a future).
I’m sorry you’ve had bad luck with docs and meds. We shouldn’t have to educate medical professionals, but unfortunately, for now we do. Even extended release meds can react differently person to person. (Did you take it with a meal? I’ve found that eating made a positive difference; some people, the opposite.).
P. S. Africa? The Africa? WTF?
REPORT ABUSEEven some of the most diehard Valentine’s Day celebrants I know are starting to gag on this “holiday.” @Shutterbug55 definitely is onto something.
@Filmbuff984, @ashockley55, @haraldbenz, I’m curious about how long it’s been since you were diagnosed.
REPORT ABUSE@ensign, are you looking at ways you can advance into management in your company or field? When you use the word “leadership” here, it sounds like you’re referring to management positions. Is that right?
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