[Monika]

@ SighKoh,

The three rules of deciding whether to keep something or give away or throw it away can be answered in three questions (aka The FlyLady) :

1. Do I use it?

2. Do I have a place for it?

3. Do I love it?

It’s hard at first but then as you and your home are able to “breathe” it does get easier. Start small to avoid the crash and burn mentality. I am thinking that a garbage bag may be the ideal home for the parking tickets and stubs.

If you do not plan on SighKoh junior wearing the pink one-zie snow suit then take a photo of it and bless someone else with it.

@Turbo Jaybird has some great advice the most important rule is you cannot MAKE someone follow FlyLady, it only causes resentment. Try it for yourself, if she wants to change she will follow your example, if she doesn’t there is alway #3 or you can both just stay at your, newly decluttered, home. Remember to only take small steps at a time and please keep us posted.

If you want to listen/do to a great step by step way to see a big improvement in your home in only an hour you can follow the crisis cleaning 101 podcast found here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/flylady-tools/2008/04/04/crisis-cleaning

Best wishes,

M

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[Monika]

JUST FYI,

A applicable interview of Marla Cilley aka The FlyLady

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/gabwiththegurus/2009/03/23/flylady-cast-away-clutter-claim-a-healthy-organized-life-with-renowned-flylady-marla-cilley-

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[Monika]

I bumping this topic back up. Since the prevalence of ADD in families is high, you all may have or know children with ADD so I want to share the http://www.behaviordoctor.org site with any new members.

She’s done two shows on tips for children with ADD on blogtalkradio http://www.blogtalkradio.com/behaviordoctor and her website http://www.behaviordoctor.org is full of great information.

Hope you like it,

M

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[Monika]

Turbo,

You can share this website with her (thanks JayBird for also recommending it) , http://www.flylady.net but understand that the clutter may not bother her as it bothers you which leaves you with exactly three choices:

1) Ignore it, it’s her stuff and you cannot get rid of it for her.

2) Get her permission to move or store it but then You’d have to do it and NOT resent her for not or being incapable of doing it

3) Find a neater girlfriend

The CLEAN HOUSE tv shows that do all the work for people are not as helpful as people doing it for themselves. But looking at the whole picture (of a messy home or room) is overwhelming, petrifying and intimidating thus nothing happens. If your girlfriend is bothered by the clutter like you are and wishes to use small babysteps to improve her circumstances then http://www.flylady.net will help. If she isn’t, well, see above the 3 choices.

Best wishes,

M

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[Monika]

If your Doctor doesn’t know about it, or believe it, show them the documentary

http://news.globaltv.com/Loving/2009300/story.html

or wait a few months and you can buy the extended version (50% longer!) from our E store. (Coming soon!)

Rick?

Can you offer both versions? The 45min and the more thorough one?

I tried to show a friend on Sunday the documentary on Global but halfway through the video stopped although we could still hear the sound.

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[Monika]

@JustMe

Remember that Normal defined is also average and common.

And I believe over-rated. You actually have an online community right here to express your feelings too.

However, if you are looking for more “real world” connections, the library has book clubs, there are any number of service organizations who love and need volunteers. Giving back is such a great way to meet new and nice people.

I’ll be happy to “virtually” friend you. You can find me on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/flybabymoni

And for now *passes you a marguarita and “Happy Birthday!”

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[Monika]

Just an update. Thanks so much for all the replies and advice.

We’ll be working on strengthening his reading and reading fluency and his general knowledge (A PIAT was done and revealed this weakness). I heard this is a typical thing for a child with ADD (inattentive). General knowledge is picked up incidentally so if a child is busy with internal adventures (wool-gathering), then they will be missing things like the fact that the animal from whom we get wool from is a sheep.

So I guess it would it be day-dreaming instead of wool-gathering? Either way, will we have a summer filled with fun mixed with a little learning.

Thanks again,

M

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[Monika]

You know what Zsazsa? I owe you an apology. I’m so sorry that my post made it look like I have no respect for teachers nor any knowledge of the daily heroics you perform. Students would eat my lunch if I stepped into a classroom. I am in awe of you and all teachers.

I read somewhere that communication is 60% body language, 30% tone and only 10% words. Being bound to only 10% (words), posts often appear harsh and are vulnerable to misunderstanding.

So thank you so much for writing and reminding me of that.

And PLEASE forgive me?

Just one more note about the song, if I may? Jerry Mills was a student with ADD who didn’t know he had it until he became a teacher and met a student name Michael with ADD and he was just like him. When he sings this song in his motivational speeches he’ll change the words so the teacher is singing “Child, tell me what you see…in Me?”

And if you do accept my apology, may I tell you about two free websites that may help some of your students with managing themselves in the classroom?

http://www.flylady.net has a student control journal (and she also has a teacher’s control journal)

and

http://www.BehaviorDoctor.org has tons of researched-based, valuable and functional and easy interventions. You can write to her with questions and she also has some http://www.blogtalkradio.com shows some on behavior, ADD, non-compliant behavior and more.

I love the three stars and a wish intervention and the compliment board.

Thanks so much for your patience with me,

M

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[Monika]

Even better Larynxa, when someone points it out to you say, “Oh that? That’s just my tail.”

, M

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[Monika]

A great thread of inspiring songs,

here’s one that touches my heart about a boy with ADD hoping this year will be a good school year. I bet if more teachers heard that some children’s lives would be easier.

What You See

It’s the first day of school, and I can hardly wait

to meet my teachers for the year.

I wonder if they’ve heard what I was like before,

What kind of stories did they hear?

Cuz I’ve had a lot of problems

with some of my teachers in the past.

But this is gonna be a great year. At least I hope it is at last!

And when I finally meet my teachers,

when that school bell rings today

I’m gonna ask them just one question

And I wonder what they’ll say…

“Teacher, tell me what you see…

Won’t you tell me what you see?

Teacher, tell me what you see … in Me !”

Well I’m the first kid at the school, cuz I can hardly wait

To meet my teachers for the year.

I wonder if they know about what I was like before,

or am I finally in the clear?

Cuz I’ve had a lot of problems

With some of my teachers in the past

But this is gonna be my best year

At least I hope it is at last !

And when I finally meet my teachers

When that school bell rings today

I’m gonna ask them for a favor

And I wonder what they’ll say,

“Teacher, tell me what you see…

Won’t you tell me what you see?

Teacher, tell me what you see … in Me !”

http://jerrymills.com/ss_ur4.html

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[Monika]

The Subject Topic “Managing Yourself” made me think it was suggestions about organization and time management.

One of my mentors is Randy Pausch, of “The Last Lecture”. If totallyadd.com wants to delete this link, I’ll understand but it’s his Time Management talk and I think it is second only to the “ADD and Loving It!” documentary in relaying valuable information in an entertaining way. Which is an incredibly high accolade from me.

http://www.archive.org/details/GabrielRobins-TimeManagementByRandyPauschNovember2007187

The first 7 1/2 minutes are an introduction that is recommended that you fast forward and while it’s 70minutes in length, I refer to it often.

Looking forward to learning from Rick’s dvd’s,

M

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[Monika]

Just FYI, I found the stats for self-esteem and for accuracy’s sake I wanted to post them.

It’s from Jack Canfield, and the research stated as follows:

80% of 1st graders have good self-esteem

20% of 5th graders have good self-esteem

and by high school

5% of students have good self-esteem

No wonder our children are struggling.

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[Monika]

If you have children (7-13) then turn them on to Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. Percy has ADD because he is a demi-god, those rapid fire thoughts and fidgeting (quick reflexes) are an asset, which is refreshing to me. Unleashing the superhero side of ADD,

And, as is true in most cases, the books are better than the movie, “The Lightning Thief”

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[Monika]

i hope katastrophe sees these replies

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[Monika]

Ok, WW.

1. You need to consider are you REALLY worse off now than you were before you discovered your ADD tendencies/challenges? http://totallyadd.com/welcome#/emotionaljourney/ From what I’m learning, it’s a process of Shock, Relief, but also Grief and there is Anger mixed in there too. Just see Rick’s http://totallyadd.com/three-inches-less

2. If you want a lifeskills coach but can’t pay for one, go to http://www.flylady.net There are over 550,000 people World Wide who use her for overcoming their “sidetrackedness” (read ADD tendencies). It’s starts with decluttering your surroundings (which may help with your depression) and shining your sink so the focus is on family and home but there are men who follow her advice. There is also a control journal for home and one for work and tips on time management and organization.

3. Remember three things; you are smart, creative and strong. That a journey of a thousand steps starts with only one (so don’t be overwhelmed, do just ONE thing) and that Attitude IS everything (so focus on what you are doing RIGHT instead of what you are doing wrong).

I think some people believe that being identified is the end of the journey. They don’t realize it’s just the border of a new unexplored country, a beginning.

And that’s enough from me, best wishes on your journey.

M

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