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@nellie: Actually, there were all ages at the lecture hall, with the majority of attendees being alumni. But my husband made a point that isn’t too far from yours; he said that perhaps one reason I laughed sooner is that I’d taken classes (two different ones, in fact) with that professor and so I was probably fairly familiar with his speaking style as a result, so I could tell when he was teeing up a punch line. That could very likely account for my faster laugh reflex.

But it’s definitely something that has happened other times – watching movies in theaters, for instance – and it really is weird, since I’m notorious for not being able to follow movie plots. “Wait – what just happened?” The rewind button is my friend!

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Robbo,

You are just absolute awesomeness.

Thanks!

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I had a great moment last weekend; I was at my college reunion and my 12-year-old daughter was in a conversation with me and some old friends, and she happened to make a joke which cracked us all up. And my friend then said to my daughter, “Wow, you have that same off-the-wall humor as your mom; it’s awesome!” I absolutely beamed with pride!

I’ve actually had some interesting thoughts regarding humor, but I think I might start a different topic for that. In the meantime, I’m glad that you like my sense of humor, Bellamom, and my writing, Nellie! Thanks so much for the compliments!

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Scattybird – I’m a parent times three and I certainly don’t take offense; I couldn’t agree more!

kc5jck – LOVE the biz-card; that was inspired, and really gave me a good laugh! And thank you so much for the compliment! I’m feeling worlds better than I was on Saturday; so glad I have this place to air myself out!

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I almost wish I could tell the whole story of The Bad Event of last weekend, but it would require far too much background, not to mention a lot of specifics that put my anonymity at risk – I’ll admit the odds are miniscule that anyone who knows me in non-virtual life is reading this particular thread; and it’s not like I’m some VIP who has to protect my identity from the media ; it just makes me more comfortable to keep identifying details to a minimum, so, alas, no story.

But the irate person was a parent, so that ratcheted up the emotions A LOT. Nobody wants to feel like they are not doing one hundred percent when kids are involved, and her complaints – in the form of incredulous questions – just devastated me. Weirdly, i didn’t even catch on that she was angry right away. So it was almost like some old movie where somebody – and that would be me – gets hit from behind with a frying pan. Only instead of seeing stars and tweety-birds, I see personal failure and tears.

Setting aside the question of whether I was right or wrong, the whole experience left me with a resolve to never take on that particular role again. Which is a shame, since it’s a volunteer thing, and so I feel like I’m ducking yet another responsibility, but honestly, a lot of the volunteer opportunities that come along never seem to play to my strengths. Organizing events? Making phone calls? Supervising and chaperoning? Not really the skill sets of an introverted inattentive ADDer.

Focus on what you’re good at….

I had a free moment in a waiting room and decided to brainstorm a few strengths that I could put on a card, per Rick’s excellent suggestion. I made a llst of about ten things, and then realized that nearly all of them were totally subjective. I’m funny? Says who?

I almost want to run my list past some kind of review board or something: “Item four: Writes well. Show of hands, please….”

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Thanks for the good food for thought. I also had a chat with my husband – who had been away last night when I came home in knots and wrote the post – and he decided my error wasn’t anywhere close to grievous, and I’d simply been the victim of some rather world-class rudeness.

Naturally he also advised me to let it go, that rude people cannot be satisfied and are not worth our energy. It’s advice he’s given me many, many times, and each time I find myself marveling, because he clearly can do just that; dismiss the offenders with a silent “forget them,” and just move on. How I wish I could do that! It takes a self-confidence that I don’t have.

No, instead I have hair-trigger shame and guilt, and a powerful desire not to offend, to be accepted, to be liked, loved, the whole bit. Middle child syndrome, anyone? And so when someone is calling me out, no matter the reason, no matter if they have every right or are a million miles off-base, it’s a kick in the gut, and last night’s was astonishingly swift and potent. Instead of knocking the wind out of me, it knocked the thought out of me, and all I could do was just sit there feeling the emotion crashing like a ceaseless surf long after Ms. Dissatisfied had turned on her heel and stalked out of the room.

I am always amused by the folks who say ADDers are great in a crisis. That is SO NOT ME. I have never ever been able to think on my feet; my moments of dumbfound last an eternity. Inevitably when I tell a story of somebody saying or doing something outrageous to me, the person listening to the story tells me what I could have/should have said. Nine times out of ten it’s something I haven’t thought of at all. The tenth time is when I come up with it myself, but about three days later.

I guess we’ve all done that from time to time, but I’m beginning to feel like I need someone to just follow me around with cue cards. Perhaps my husband, who came up with at least three different things I could have pointed out to Rude Person that would have defused her anger, or brought her up short, or defended my actions – I could have had my pick, if I’d just had his brain handy, instead of my own white-noise wheel-spinning thing up there, totally at the mercy of my emotions.

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I read weather forecasts the way some people read horoscopes; they tell me what sort of mood I’ll be in. My emotions are really tied to the weather, but I don’t always like the same weather other folks do. For instance, in the winter I don’t like sunny days, because we don’t have snow around here and so all that low-angle sunshine just makes everything look sort of bleak.

I also don’t mind a touch of humidity in the air, especially when it’s windy. I love a summer evening with a warm, sultry breeze swirling about. Cold, dry wind, on the other hand, can make me incredibly irritable.

I love storms of all kinds: snow, thunder, whatever. Maybe that’s my modest version of thrill-seeking. I like to watch hurricane coverage.

Most of all, I react strongly to weather based on how it fits in with my plans. If I have a lot of work to do indoors, I have a difficult time concentrating if the sun is shining, even if it’s a cold, bleak winter day. And of course if I have outdoor plans and the weather is chilly and dreary, grrrr. But when the weather matches my agenda, it’s bliss!

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Thank you so much! I tried to record the broadcast but the signal just wasn’t strong enough down here in Silver Spring; I ended up getting a lot of black screen with occasional three-second words and pictures; I guess you could call my recording The Unmanaged ADD Version! I actually fast-viewed the whole thing just in hopes that my reception had magically improved somewhere during the show. No such luck, alas. Reading your blog version really helped calm my frustration! Hugely appreciated!

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I don’t know how bad my spatial awareness is, but it’s certainly not good! I take tae kwon do and I’m forever misjudging the distance to my target, especially when kicking. Usually I err on the overestimating side, so I end up throwing this total WHIFF, which looks really, really, really cool, oh, indeed.

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So many useful tips! I want to try them all!

Right now I’m experimenting with a digital voice recorder. (I gave it to myself as a prize for remembering to empty the dish draining rack all but two days last month – I kept a checklist by the sink!)

The voice recorder has many ADD pitfalls, the primary one being – like all gadgets – “I forgot to bring the voice recorder with me,” but when I do remember to take it along, it really does help. It’s more a memory thing than a focus thing, except that in order to act on the reminders, I have to sit down, play the messages, click to go to the next one, then write them down…and that part really DOES help me focus. I actually completed some paperwork in my “to do” folder for the first time in about a thousand years.

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Thanks, Scattybird, for the validation! And it really did make me smile, along with all the other comments in this thread. For a topic that started as a “rant” it’s been one of the most uplifting ones to follow!

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I love this thread! Scattybird, thanks for starting it. I can really relate to your rant, especially the denial part – it’s been almost a year since my diagnosis and I STILL have those conversations with myself that you describe: “Maybe I’m actually depressed,” etc. The only time I get angry is when I don’t get any validation from others – because I still seem to desperately need it!

I agree that your former co-worker’s comment was just outrageous…as others have said, hurtful and incredibly prejudiced.

So does it sound weird to say that I kind of wish somebody would say to me, “I can totally see that you are ADD.”

Obviously in my ideal world it would be said in a different context than what you went through: I would want it to be said to me by somebody I love, in immediate response to one of my many out-loud doubts, to reassure me that I am on the right treatment path. But of course that rarely happens (my hubby is the lone exception, but since he is the only one who will acknowledge it, he gets tired of having to say it all the time) And maybe if someone really did say “Oh, of course you are,” I wouldn’t actually take it as well as I keep thinking I would. But I sure would like to get out of this recurring state of second-guess.

Bill,

If someone said I’d be unemployable because of my ADHD, I would come back with a stinging rebuke that would singe their hair. Unfortunately, the rebuke would be said in the shower the next day.

SOOOOO TRUE! And so well put! That was my laugh of the day!

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I wear headphones, too – when I remember – and it really does help, especially for those room-to-room tasks. I think it helps my brain connect the dots and avoid those “why did I come in here?” moments – kind of like a movie montage, where different scenes are joined with a single song!

If I don’t have headphones on, I’m not too proud to just recite my purpose over and over out loud until I get to the room I’m headed for: “Library books….library books….”

The gloves do leave a bit of a smell on my hands, even though they are lined with fuzzy stuff. Maybe I’ll try the vinyl gloves idea; I’ve already got a box of vinyl gloves left over from my painting projects!

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I love this! What’s really interesting is that you’re remembering to do things even before the moment of choosing, and using, the other hand.

Makes me wonder if I wrote all those notes to myself with the other hand I’d remember things without having to even look at the note. Might just try it out to see what happens. After all, if it doesn’t work, well, I’ve still got the note to remind me.

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Finally updated my blog, after something like six months!

http://thebrainfogblog.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/progress-report/

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