Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
First off, I would be careful whom you tell, since you don’t need the hassle.
Second, you don’t have to defend yourself. You can’t convince them of something they don’t want to believe, and you know you have it. Their opinion is just that–their opinion. (Don’t ask how many years it took me to learn that one.)Yes, everyone probably does the dumb stuff we do as some point or another. The difference is we do it pretty much every day. To the point it negatively impacts our lives and makes everyday stuff really hard.
And I had an awful time getting my family to believe me at first, because I’m not hyperactive and up until about 10 years ago, I could keep it together. It was wearing me out, but I was holding it together. (My sister did believe me though, as her daughter had already been diagnosed and apparently the daughter acted exactly like I did as a child.) No one was mean about it; they just didn’t see it.
Anyway, good luck and hang in there!
REPORT ABUSEHello. I haven’t been on for awhile and just saw your post. First of all, no one here will diagnose you. You need to see a doctor for that, hopefully one that specializes in adult ADHD. But you absolutely can have it and not have been diagnosed as a child. I was not diagnosed until after age 40, and had done very well in school. I did so well that when I forgot stuff and was disorganized, it was considered eccentric. I also never turned in a late assignment or was late myself. Usually I tried for 10 minutes early. But adulthood became tougher and tougher and overwhelming, and that finally led to my seeking out a diagnosis. I was fortunate, a psychologist friend referred me to a local psychiatrist that specializes in adult ADHD. He’s excellent.
And you could also be a kinetic learner (someone who learns best by doing), which would cause restlessness in lecture classes and while writing. Combined with an active mind, it could cause some of the issues you mentioned.
I am not one to diagnose, but the key factor is whether you feel your behaviours are having a negative effect on your life. (My clue was when my home office reached the point it could be featured on an episode of “Hoarders.” And being overwhelmed by my schedule and my child’s.) If you feel you are more-or-less on track, with maybe occasional bad days, then perhaps you don’t have it or don’t need a diagnosis. If you feel your life is starting to feel out of control, perhaps having an evaluation done would be beneficial.
Good luck to you.
REPORT ABUSEI would look into another medication. There are several different ones. One in particular was horrible for my son. Then we found Concerta, and he was on it for several years, until he asked for a lower dose or something. It was the same problem–he felt like he couldn’t talk with classmates, and he’s an introvert to start with. So the doctor changed his medicine, and everything was much better. He’s in college now, and just started a new medicine, so I haven’t heard how it’s working.
Regarding myself, I’ve found out I’m a “slow metabolizer,” which means meds stay in my system a lot longer than most people. So I actually ended up on a lower dose of my med, but it took a couple of tries to find the right one.
REPORT ABUSE@Larynxa, they came with little tiny rhinestones! And are a shiny, coppery brown. I just now found them–I had knocked them off the back of the nightstand, and they had lodged just under the back edge, against the rear leg. Difficult to explain, but only visible when lying on the floor, looking at a certain angle. But my bed had been remade twice, and two stacks of clean clothes put away as I carefully hunted for them!
REPORT ABUSEJune 19, 2014 at 9:09 pm in reply to: How do I go on ..when everything is being taken from me #125419I have no words for what you’re going through, and you’re in my prayers and thoughts. I do agree with the above posters. Document everything!!!! What he is doing is wrong, but you have to document everything to prove it and contact your family’s social worker or your childrens’ social worker. Save answering machine messages, gather your own medical records, etc. I had to deal with an extended family member who most likely had a serious, severe mental illness (not just a difference in cognition, which is ADHD) and who refused to seek treatment. So I refused to talk to this person in private, only with witnesses. Didn’t answer the phone; let them leave messages which I saved, etc. (I was being accused of theft and manipulative elder abuse by this person–falsely. Didn’t reach the stage yours has, but I saw the signs and figured I needed to protect myself.) Take it one day at a time–the courts have their own process. Oh, and my saving stuff was not a complicated filing system–tossed it all in one folder, and when the answering machine filled up, I recorded them all onto my phone and dumped the file onto my hard drive. Took notes of actual conversations into an app on the phone–typed or voice notes.
REPORT ABUSE@kc5jck They forget what the word “or” means. OR does not mean the same thing as “and.” I was #2 in my class, and graduated the honors program at the university. But socially–huge problems. I was a bully target until I graduated high school. I have to constantly remind myself of various “polite” responses and strategies, especially in large groups.
My parents weren’t being mean about the degrees, but neither of them had the opportunity to go to college. And the area I lived in was middle-class to poverty, and even the teachers pushed the few college-bound kids into “safe” degrees–nursing, education, med school, business. Something you could get a steady job with benefits from. And I didn’t research options for history or art, because I didn’t see any jobs that actually used them. Such as working as a museum curator, or illustration for an ad agency (and that was pre-internet–graphic design has exploded now). They really just wanted the best for us.
REPORT ABUSEABSOLUTELY!! I sailed through school. I was reading in Kindergarten and by 7th grade was reading on a college level. I don’t enjoy writing or math, but I can do them. It helped to have a non-ADHD, very intelligent older sister to compete with. Plus I’m insanely curious about almost every topic, and love to do research. My problems in school were purely social, and I was unpopular and bullied until college. I still panic about meeting new people. But academic/coping problems came later, starting with no idea of what I wanted to do with my life.
In hindsight, I should have majored in Art or History, and gone on to a master’s in library science or historic preservation. But I came from a small, working class town, and my dad informed us that he “would not pay for us to get useless majors like art or history.” Closest I could get was Merchandising, Apparel, and Textiles (this was pre-NAFTA). So I’ve been an admin assistant to an engineering firm for 20+ years. But, yeah, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 43–every time I’d mention it to a doctor, they’d ask how I did in school. “Great!” “Well, you don’t have it.”
The situation became desperate (basic organizing is a BIG problem), and a psychology professor friend recommended a psychiatrist who specializes in ADHD. I had to go outside the insurance coverage to see him, but it was worth it. (One previous attempt to get a diagnosis from an insurance approved doctor failed. See “did great in school” point above.) His PA worked with me for 45 minutes, filling out forms, asking questions, taking several surveys/questionnaires. When she finished, she said the doctor would come in a few minutes and review everything with me, but “you are a classic case of adult ADHD in a female. I don’t know why no one caught this before now.” Sigh–I tried to tell ’em, I really did. And no one believed me. I’ve been called organized and dependable my whole life. In reality, that was me desperately maintaining control because I’ve always felt everything was completely on the verge of total chaos.
Okay, this post is a bit disjointed. I cut some stuff out as it was turning into my life story. But yeah, some of us do really well in school–it’s everything else that jumps up and bites.
REPORT ABUSEThanks for the reply and sorry for the delay (taxes–arrgh). He’s been on medication since 4th grade, and does alright with homework, assignments, and chores (if reminded). But getting him to look at a college’s website or even discuss it is like pulling teeth, yet he wants to go. NOTE: He is doing better this week. We saw his doc, and he’s now taking a booster dose of short-acting Ritalin after school. The attitude is much better. He actually talked about college to me today (still hasn’t looked up a website yet).
The comment on a non-ADHD parent came from experience with my mom. I think I coped for over 40 years because she is a naturally organized person. She was not a tyrant or hateful about it, but neatness and organization just oozes out her pores. So I grew up seeing how to keep stuff organized and a family mostly on track. I don’t always do it, and never to her standards, but I know what’s supposed to happen. My dh was the same way.
REPORT ABUSEAnother nail biter and skin picker here. I only bite my nails a lot when I’m anxious, but I’ve substituted destroying them with nail clippers instead.
As for my skin, fortunately I never had a huge acne problem. I do however, have folliculitis all over my upper arms and the backs of my legs. It produces lots of lovely bumps and ingrown hairs, which make more bumps and I cannot leave them alone. Drove my mom crazy.
I feel like I’m sensitive to how my skin feels. Sometimes I know a bump is there before I see or feel it.
My dad picks at sores too, and his mom did also but not as bad as I do.
REPORT ABUSELate chiming in here, but this is so me.
A leg bouncer coming from a family of leg bouncers. I am the fourth confirmed diagnosis in my dad’s family, and we suspect it is quite rampant. I feel it is any hyperactivity I have coming out, since I tested as strictly Inattentive type, but I am a fidgeter. The leg bouncing can be annoying for others, but I don’t find it exhausting or draining and often don’t realize I’m doing it. When I cross my legs, I bounce the upper foot instead.
When my son was younger, pre-diagnosis, he was a big-time fidgeter, which sometimes came out with poking other people. I actually worked at teaching him the leg bounce, as it is far less annoying than poking your classmate.
And I still get a giggle remembering my mom in church. She is most definitely not ADHD, and one Sunday she found herself with my dad on one side, and my cousin and I on the other. We all crossed our legs with the upper foot pointed toward mom, and eventually all the feet were bouncing. I realized my mom was getting very, very annoyed and couldn’t figure out why. Until I realized that she was surrounded by bouncing feet! She told me after service she was almost ready to slap us all.
REPORT ABUSEFinally put the Christmas tree away Monday night (and it took until Wed. to post about it). This Christmas was the motivator that started me looking for a diagnosis. I absolutely love Christmas and decorating and backing and everything, but it really did try to kill me this year. The tree wasn’t decorated until Christmas Eve, and that’s only because my nieces did it.
But things are looking up–now to tackle the taxes. Sigh.
REPORT ABUSEWell, I found the hippo. When the kid returned from his school trip, I asked him. Apparently my dad said he knew someone back home who could use it, so I gave it to him. The kid remembered because he had to help load it into grandpas’s truck. Still no actual memory of the conversation, but now I know what happened.
I wasn’t upset the sandbox was gone, but very, very confused.
REPORT ABUSENice to meet everyone!!
kc–I am the queen of unfinished projects. Mostly needlecraft–I quilt, cross-stitch, embroider, and crochet. I also sculpt in poly clay. Haven’t done much the last 2 years since I felt guilty doing it while Rome (the house) burned. LOL.
I was never hyper as a child; in fact I was quite the opposite. My sister told me last night that I hid it well. It runs in my family; I’m the fourth confirmed diagnosis I know of and there are definitely signs in some others. I think my projects are due to unable to maintain attention on one long enough to finish. And onced I finishe the hard part, getting it framed or mounted or hemmed, etc. is another story.
Bella–I think ellipses means it takes a long time for me to get to a point as I meander through the finer side points along the way. Most of my family talks like this. And yes my husband was a lovely man. I don’t think he ever really got the way my brain operates, but he did love me. Although he often commented that “Freud would have loved to study you.” And my reply was “My job is to keep you from having a boring life.”
REPORT ABUSE -
AuthorPosts