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BTW, my post above is meant to be taken together with Ginniebean’s great replies.

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I’ll just pick one item to address, because I think it’s an important one to rebut and I don’t feel like writing at length.

Because iodine is added to salt in North America, we are what is known as an “iodine replete” society. We get *more* than enough iodine through our salt and salted foods, as well as through our high consumption of dairy products. (Iodine deficiency is *only* a problem in other parts of the world where seafood is not a staple and the mineral is not added back in to the food supply.)

So. Please be aware, other readers, that if you take iodine supplements on top of what you already consume in our salt/food supply, you risk damaging your thyroid. Hashimoto’s disease is the most common thyroid disorder on the continent, and is almost exclusive to iodine replete regions.

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Hi Robbo. I won’t lie to you—border collies are a huge commitment. They need to run like a horse at least twice a day, rain, shine or blizzard. A single, on-leash walk is not enough for this breed. For me, that works well because it ensures I get outside and move every few hours no matter what.

However, you get out what you put in with them. They are incredibly intelligent and intuitive, and were in fact bred to be constantly tuned in to and minutely focused on their handler/owner. You can’t be lonely with this dog, because it needs to be with you and monitor you. The flip side is that they don’t do well alone for long periods.

If you decide to go the canine route, you need to start with a young dog that’s been well socialized as a pup, and then enlist the help of a trainer to help shape the behaviours you want. Dog trainers generally love working with BCs, because they catch on lightening fast and have a strong will to please. But small breeds are also often trained as therapy dogs. A trained Jack Russell would be a good potential choice for you in your current set-up, if you were committed to the trips outside, etc., that it would need.

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Tiddler and ashockley, big congratulations on starting medication!

For what it’s worth, this is one of the life-changing jobs my dog does for me that qualifies him as my personal ADHD Therapy Dog. (I described him under Dr. J’s blogpost on the subject.)

Besides helping me stay on track during the day by pawing at me when I need to attend to something or stop hyperfocusing, my canine minder appears at my bedside when my alarm goes off, and wakes me in a firm but nonobnoxious way. As soon as I stir, he paws at me, then jumps up and lies beside me, positioning his head beneath my hand.

Together with his greeting, the softness of his fur always seems to waken my senses and help me come alive. Yes, he gets a quick trip outside and his breakfast out of it, but as this is a breed of dog that needs a job to do, he takes every step (and how it’s done) very seriously. Amazingly, he even adapts to different alarm times on the weekend.

Just thought I’d share, since I have the same problem and this is the first real solution I’ve ever had.

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Yay! I secretly wanted you to take a stimulant med instead of Strattera!

Hope you’re feeling mended by now.

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Tiddler, thanks for mentioning the breed mixture! You did have me guessing there.

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Tiddler gave an excellent response.

RedSquirrel, use most of the cooling off period if you must and then take the pup back when the novelty has worn off somewhat for the kids. Perhaps prepare them by letting them know it’s a trial.

I *absolutely* get why you bought him, though.

Six years ago I was right where you are—”newly single mum with two kids, one also with ADHD and a cat. The house is a mess. I’m always anxious and feeling like I’m not coping.”

For what it’s worth, it doesn’t get any harder than this, and you *will* find your stride in this new life. It will take time, but everything will get easier. ((hug))

For now, JUST focus on keeping your head above water, and do whatever you have to do to get through each day until you find yourself developing a routine. (I used to buckle my kids into their seats and drive them to sleep every night. It was the only way I could cope with my own desperation and my son’s going-to-sleep issues. Not that I’m suggesting this—it’s just one of the things I did that got me through.)

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Wow, this is wonderful news, ashockley. I’m really happy and relieved for you, girlie.

If the Strattera doesn’t address the issue with active initiative (one that I share with you), the doctor would probably next look at adding Wellbutrin or switching you to Concerta or Adderall.

Either way, you’re IN now.

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Cheers, Scattybird. That was a brilliant, passionate wellspring of a rant, and I got a great deal out of reading it.

Some of us just smolder bitterly along, inviting our immune systems to take the fall. We forcibly suppress ourselves to get by, which robs us of much of life’s joy, and we limp inwardly from our failures, afraid to go in the same direction twice.

How awesome is it that we have this forum to bellow in and be heard and understood? Like Tiddler, I might follow your example.

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Just popping by.

weirdwired, welcome to the band and hang in there.

We’re all going to screw up at least one or two things today. So let’s resolve that when it happens, we’ll laugh at ourselves, think of each other, surrender and carry on.

Let’s make it a great day, okay guys?

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*smiling*

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Nope, not a crime.

Geezus Robbo, get some sleep.

The poet Ehrmann wrote in “Desiderata”:

“Do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.”

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Abby, I read every word. You express yourself and describe the situation SO well… so effectively, in fact, that I feel like I’m in your shoes with you and can only reflect and wait for someone else to post The Answer.

Close, long-term friendships DO take work. Every once in a while we need to save the relationship by professing that something didn’t settle well with us, and hope it can be talked out without further hurt to our feelings.

Unfortunately, opening up this discussion means we have to be ready to hear about some shortcoming of our own that we weren’t aware of. We need to be ready to swallow our hurt and promise that we’ll work on it, instead of acting on defensiveness and saying something like, for instance, “Well it’s not easy being friends with YOU, you know! You’re really hard to take sometimes!!”

PEOPLE are hard to take, for Pete’s sake. You BOTH make accommodations for each other in order to be close friends. You need an opportunity to point this out to her (*without* examples!) and to ask her to agree that you’ll both continue to do so.

And I absolutely get your words: “I’m good at the extremes- all the time or none of the time- but can’t wrap my brain around intermittent!!”

I’ve gone so far as to add “keeping in touch with people” to my weekly To-Do lists (e.g., send quick “hello” email to so-and-so). But that, of course, just swells my already-overwhelming list and makes me feel more pressured.

I’ve mentioned to two friends lately that taking regular initiative to be in contact is a pitfall of mine that I’m working hard on, that it has to do with issues around dealing with what’s in the moment and feeling overwhelmed, and that I dearly appreciate every call and email they make.

I don’t think they really understood. But I know they appreciated hearing it—at least for that moment, until the next time I go too long without being in touch.

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Very skeptical, and that’s only on reading the name “Mercola” in the URL.

Joe Mercola (who, btw, is actually a doctor of osteopathy, not an MD) has the distinction of being the most notorious and profiteering creator of pseudoscience on the ‘Net. He is known for his misleading half-truths and aggressive marketing. Not worth reading, IMO.

http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/index.php/joe-mercola-quackery-pays/

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I add my agreement.

And Trashman, you’ve been here since early days. It wouldn’t be the same on these forums without your presence!

BTW, I know you said it was a jellyfish, but it still looks like a mutilated glass doorknob to me…

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