[Tiddler]

I love the original T shirt. I was thinking of making my own though after saying something stupid a couple of days ago:

F: I don’t need help, thanks

B: I have a system that has never worked that I want to use.

Or (a bit more embarrassing I suppose)

I suffer from piles. With a picture of piles of paperwork!

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[Tiddler]

So sorry. I posted this in the wrong place. 😳

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[Tiddler]

Worst habit – eating at night when I can’t sleep.

Plan to mess it up – exercise.

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[Tiddler]

Okay, now I’ve calmed down, I appreciate my reaction may have been quite strong, but the woman WAS being unpleasant and it helps to realise that. The conversation went something like this:

Does the doctor have experience in treating adults with ADHD?

Of course he does. What do you think he does?

I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking.

You don’t call a specialist and expect to get to know everything about him.

I don’t want to know everything about him. I just need to know a couple of things…

Can I find out if I can be tested for ADHD in this first appointment or will there be further appointments needed?

How do I know? I’m not the doctor. You’re not going grocery shopping you know. You’re asking for a specialist so you just go along and do what he asks.

I don’t think I’m really making myself clear and I’m sorry if I sound confused, but I’m just trying to find out what happens next.

You have to ask him that.

Can I arrange to speak to him – or to someone who can explain to me what will happen?

No, you just turn up.

I’m worried about that because if it’s not what I need, I will have spent the money I have on this and I won’t be able to afford another doctor.

You’re treating this like grocery shopping…

I’m sorry I’ve started crying, but I’m just looking for help.

I think you need to see your GP because you sound very stressed.

(Passes phone to hubby at this point.)

Once I calmed down I phoned another clinic. First thing she said when I told her I’d like an ADD test:

Oh that’s great. A lady came in last week for the same thing. It costs £X amount, will last X time and you’ll know by the end of it if that’s what’s wrong. Would you like to book an appointment?

How different is that?!

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[Tiddler]

Thank you, Nelly. That was sensible and kind. And the above actually made me laugh which is a real tonic!

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[Tiddler]

And, as an aside, despite knowing I’m doing too much, I signed up for another voluntary job yesterday. I actually sought it out and asked to do it. It didn’t occur to me it might not be appropriate for me right now.

I just don’t understand why I’m ‘like this’.

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[Tiddler]

I appreciate the few people (ADD or not!) would make it through that whole post, so to sum up – I’ve had a crappy morning and I have no idea whether all the people in my life I’ve felt were being rude, unhelpful, unkind etc etc were really just being ‘normal’ and it’s me that is reacting ‘wrong’.

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[Tiddler]

LOL Thank you. Says just about everyone except a few close friends and my husband. But that’s one of the nicer words. I don’t mind ‘flaky’. I can’t stand the ‘lazy’ label though.

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[Tiddler]

I have a weird relationship with clutter. I can’t find things when they’re out of sight (in drawers, cupboards, files etc) and I pull things out looking for them and there’s that clutter again. But the clutter really does stop me getting anything useful done.

So it goes like this – I have a crumpled scrap of paper with a Really Important Phone Number on it and I leave it on the window sill and my husband puts it in the bin when he’s tidying up then I hunt around for it and cry when I realise it’s gone. My husband is getting better at not throwing stuff away but am I getting better at not leaving Really Important Things around, looking like random crap? Um. No.

I behave totally differently in an organised, clutter free environment. I can spot things that need to be done more easily and am more inclined to just do it as I’m not overwhelmed by everything else. I know what I SHOULD do but I just can’t seem to make that happen in my own environments.

I’ve been trying to ‘get organised’ and created lots of ‘piles’ that are starting to bleed into each other. There’s a random shoe in the middle of them. And a packet of buttons that I know I’m just never, ever, ever going to sew onto my blouse.

Sigh!

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[Tiddler]

Thanks all.

Nellie, I’ve found what seems to be the right consultant through that site and I’m waiting for my GP to call me back.

This is really hard work as no-one here seems to acknowledge adult ADHD even exists. The first number (from the site) I was forwarded around various people and finally told they didn’t know anyone who could help me.

The second number wasn’t in my area and they didn’t know about out of area funding but they gave me a private number and the woman had an ‘annoyed’ tone so I didn’t want to use them.

The third number had someone who answered the phone ‘hello ADHD services’ and they were fantastic. They can see me within 3-6 months if the GP jumps through a couple of hoops (at least I don’t have to do it or it’d never get done!)

I liked them and would rather see them than the neuropsychologist I’ve been referred to, which doesn’t seem to be the right service.

Phew. I’ll keep you posted.

I’m quite proud of myself for turning away a private immediate appointment in favour of waiting! I can’t work with someone who is frustrated with me from just a phone call – that’s just not going to work!

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[Tiddler]

It gets complicated when there’s another issue too, doesn’t it! My husband is ‘a bit aspie’. I love that side of him, actually. He’s very rational and steady and he can help calm and focus me.

You sound like my son – he has to know how everything works and always needs a problem to solve.

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[Tiddler]

I never thought about this but I take my shoes off often when I shouldn’t. I once took my shoes off when I was working in a bar, after it had closed and we were tidying up. The manager didn’t like it and told me to put them back on. I didn’t like how he spoke to me so I walked out and never went back – didn’t even pick up my wage packet. Stupid really.

But when I became a teacher, I never thought anything of it. I walk around with my shoes off and sit cross legged on tables. No wonder people think I’m flaky.

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[Tiddler]

Thanks. Love your avatar. It looks like my screen!

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[Tiddler]

Thought I’d add this because it made me smile.

The paperwork is in piles on my bedroom floor. My husband calmly reminded me that he’d suggested only 2 piles plus an ‘other’ pile, which I’d forgotten to do. I said to him,

“I’ve got a system that’s never worked for me and I want to keep on doing it.”

I had to laugh when I realised what I’d said.

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[Tiddler]

I did some baking with the kids and…wait for it…I CLEANED UP AFTER!

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[Author]

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