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I want to talk about owning it. Owning it and taking charge of it and doing with it whatever you wish.
I’m not talking about “owning your ADHD.” Because sometimes especially in the early days, or when I have bad days, it owns me.
I’m talking about owning our stuff and taking our stuff and messing with it. Customizing. Bending it to suit us. Doing whatever it takes to make it work with our mindset.
I get that we have to do a lot of things to try to fit into the world out there. Because there’s more of them than there is of us. But at home, with our own stuff, we get to say.
That agenda, book, TV remote, keychain, bookshelf… those are yours. You paid for them. [At least I assume you did. If you stole it, well that’s a whole other conversation. Starting with, “How the heck did you steal a bookshelf?”…
Before I was diagnosed as having ADHD, I had a lot of beliefs about myself. And about what ADHD was. And therefore, why I couldn’t have ADHD.
A belief is not the truth. But these had become my ‘truths.’ And what we believe limits us more than anything else.
A thousand psychological studies prove the power of limiting beliefs. Or of positive beliefs. No matter how stupid that belief may be.
If you tell students the test is easy, they will do better. If you tell them it’s hard, they will do worse. If you tell the teacher…
Is it just me, or are more and more people confusing their beliefs with facts. Perhaps people have always mistaken their opinions for the truth. I don’t know.
What I do know, for sure, is the universal challenge you face after getting an ADHD diagnosis is whether or not you should tell anyone about it. Who you should take into your confidence? Who probably doesn’t need to know? And who definitely should never find out?
In fact, who really needs to know? Because, let me warn you, as the police warn everyone, ‘Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law…
By Rick Green,
She shook my hand, “Thank you, so much. Your talk was so informative. Our son has ADHD, and I am pretty sure my husband might. But he refuses to get tested. Or even discuss it”
I nodded, and admitted that, “Guys can be kind of reluctant about admitting that there may be a problem. We think it means we’re damaged. Or defective.” After many seasons writing and performing on The Red Green Show, I felt like I knew a bit about how guys think. Oh, and being a guy helped as well.
I added, “In fact, I only realized what was going on when my son was diagnosed. Since then I’ve learned ADHD is about as heritable as height.”
I’d just finished a presentation at the Tourette Syndrome Foundation Canada conference. Several participants took turns asking questions as I packed up my computer…
By Rick Green
Which aspect of your ADHD do you dislike the most? Which trait, or if you prefer, ‘symptom’, does the most damage?
It’s a valuable question to ask. For several reasons.
One payoff for identifying the trait that undermines you the most? It requires you to focus, and you won’t drown in good intentions, trying to manage every symptom at once. (A recipe for overwhelm as I found out after when first diagnosed.)
Another payoff? Mastering the bugaboo that most sabotages you…