[anniea]

My Mom was a secretary and typed like crazy. I LOVED to hear her typing.

My first puter had a thing you could make typing noises I kept it on for a long time. I find it a comforting noise. My girls were in grade school, and said, “MAN you can type fast” when you talk to Kathy on the computer….” (IM-ing a friend)… I liked that… another connection to my Mom…who isn’t with me anymore…

I never learned to do the numbers very fast…or the characters above them… oh well…

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[anniea]

I blame all teleported items on the hoohoo (ghost) that lives in my house… she is a prankster and disappears things even when I say out loud to my self..I am putting this..right here on the table..come back… not there… A sense of humor is essential..

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[anniea]

I hope Learner checks back…

I have been thinking about speaking up for someone who didn’t for themselves nor did people who are closer in the intimacy circle. If you saw someone kicking a dog, or mistreating a cat or child, would you have said something? I have been the attacked person, and I have been one who did the attacking because of “my tone” NEITHER postion is plesant.

It took me years to listen and hear what people were saying to me…cutting remarks.. It took couseling and years of Ala-non… and I have been able to identify and cut some people loose

I have not always realized how I SOUND at times, and even told my crew I worked with, “please come and talk to me if I sound too harsh…I need to know how I come across.”… I was charge nurse day shift, and had more noise and commotion going on than I can even try to explain… so…. I KNEW I sometimes barked orders…I did not suffer fools well …. especially after weeks/months of talking, talking talking…. Some came and got to know me and my “ways” and I was so thankful for the input and feedback..even if at the time I didn’t. It truely has made me a better person….

I hve also been so thankful for people who have said something to the effect of… “whoa, did you MEAN that the WAY it sounded”? when someone said something to me, AND I did not catch it….. No truely it happened….

Monkeybarb IT IS UNBEARABLE when you CAN’T speak up for yourself…. but when you DO LEARN …WATCHOUT…I swung the other way for a while…(years).. and NOBODY got away with an eyebrow rise without me…wanting to know what they MEANT by that?? and then I mellowed out some… I hope…. I work on it all the time…. sometimes I have to call a neutral third person and bounce my reaction off of them. They know me, but can give me an other perspective.. it is progress not perfection…

This being human is messy business… we need all the support we can get…and give … and to quote Maya Angelou….when I know better I can do better…

Thanks for the thread… and the ideas and the chance to ponder out loud on paper..

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[anniea]

Took two runs at this to finish reading. I find noise very helpful at times… and sooo distracting at other times.

I am just beginning to notice when I get agitated when its been too noisy for too long. It takes a long time for me to realize I am at sensory overload. (I had a job for 4 yrs day shift at a nursing home…bombarded nonstop for 8-9 hrs of noise/people/telephones/intercom..) so I think we have a high capacity to tune some stuff out..and when I realize it is annoying us..its only after probable hours of bombardment…

I worked night shift for years and a pillow over my head was the best noise cancellation I used.. can’t stand the feel of ear plugs.. It is probably an added bonus I stood in front of speakers at dances and I am SURE I have hearing loss..

I remember sitting in a quiet nursing home at night listening to the different noises and being able to know when someone was up, if someone was not snoring that ususally does, and finding them awake..needing to potty. or dead.. How that was peaceful for me and the others I worked with. (We can be an odd bunch roaming around like bats and cats at night).

I remember being bugged by it being too quiet.. and needing to have music on… or being in a FOUL MOOD and BLASTING some music REALLY LOUD to break the internal mood, and be able to talk to someone. I knew the music was a TAD loud when my ears “vibrated” after I turned the music down…. did I mention I MAY have hearing loss because of those speakers during high school??

My Public Radio Station in the early morning, drinking coffee and “visiting with the cat” is one of favorite memories, and joys.. neither one of us talk much at 5am.

I too love going to the woods, and just listening and regrouping. that too can be a true JOY and truely needed.. more than I know I am sure. Thanks for the memory Jog, and moments to ponder the whole NOISE thing.

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[anniea]

Glad to hear he is going back to therapy, I think we all can profit from talking to a neutral third party. As I was telling my daughter over Christmas…. humans are the only ones that don’t follow our danger instict… we second guess ourselves WAAY too much. Our guts tell us many things we just have to KNOW that we KNOW…you know??

When enough is enough…listen..you KNOW.. what you KNOW and YOU KNOW when enough is enough..listen and do what YOU have to do to stay SAFE and SANE…period.. ADD or no ADD.

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[anniea]

Greetings new member. I too have clutter everywhere… but it HAS changed this last two years. They say clutter has to do with grief maybe.

I believe the changes you are looking for are NOT immediate. They take practice, and lots of time and effort.

I can organize for other people faster than I can for myself, find your self a clutter buddy to help you. Once you start telling people you have ADD, and you are looking for help, I have had some good responses….not all, but some.

In the last year, I have had several big gatherings at my house ( my daughter had a pre dance function at my house twice, and then graduation.) For all of these more of the clutter was dispersed..for good, some was moved, for later..

For the next function, the piles were smaller, and I had a “headstart” on the next cleaning frenzy. I hate this by the way… BUT the clutter has not come back as big. and I can SEE PROGRESS…..

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION…

I also had help from family and friends that cam and lent a hand before the big graduation…It was a thing of beauty… I am telling you we had a whole house full of ADDers… we took turns working on stuff and chipped away at the yard, and dining room.

My brother started a project in the yard…he got distracted…my boyfriend/partner came by, saw the project, started where brother left off, he got distracted, wondered off…brother came back worked on yard again. This happened all day..no one got excited, we got it done.

I was remebering other times, and other parties… its always been that way..even growing up…

Long post, but broken up to read easier… hope it worked.

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[anniea]

I LOVE craft/art fairs. I have a pretty steadfast rule… not to buy anything until I have walked all the way through the tables. This has cut down on impulse buys. I love the creative stuff people come up with.

Sometime in the past I decided to walk away from something and see if it calls me back. I do this alot for clothes or art stuff especially. I ‘watched” a print at a fair for three years, and FINALLY realized if I DIDN’T buy it, and I came back and it was gone, I would be sad. I still get lovely comments on it… and it made me appreiciate things more when I ponder them at nausium.. I have driven myself crazy doing this, but I also don’t just buy stuff to be buying them nearly as much as when I was younger. I also have to put a moritorium on Books and cards buying for months at a time until I read the ones on my shelf, or sent cards I have stock piled.

When I bought stuff on impluse I ended up regretting it mostly, so I had to think of a different way to do things.

It isn’t a perfect system, but it works most of the time. I don’t have credit cards, for this reason.. and I don’t shop on line hardly at all…I find it tedious… I like to TOUCH stuff I guess…

In the last several weeks as I am re-arranging my bedroom I am realizing when I go shopping with one particular friend I impulse shop more, so I will have to watch this.. I can’t believe I haven’t noticed this until lately…we’ve been doing this since HIGH SCHOOL!! and I am in my 50s now.. holy cow.. better late than never…and the second hand stores are restocked because of this too!! no guilt, just awareness..

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[anniea]

Reading this string reminds me of a woman I worked with and who I thought was my friend. She could NOT tolerate my jumping around when we talked, or traveled together. It really bothered her. When I FINALLY called her and told her about ADD she remained a skeptic. I finally quit trying to talk to her. She would get short and interrupt, and try to keep me on the linear path which would frustrate me more than I can tell yous.

I have other people in my life that “get” me when I talk, and understand if I circle back around to finish a thought. I love when I am talking to someone who can give a totally mixed up direction, and I know exactly what they are talking about. “MY people”.

It is harder when the linear people are bosses. I’ve had that too. Which explains why I have had a lot of different jobs. I even had a Psychologist ask me he he thought ADD was real… duh…he became a believer several years later. His wife was my boss, and one of the best I ever worked for.

I don’t know if IQ numbers mean anything. I worked in a group home for DD adults who lived most of their lives in institution. I “got” them, and was able to connect with several of them, lovely gentle souls who made it better for the next generation of autistic, DD folks. I know I am smart, always have been. But if you can’t relate to those you are around.. that makes life more difficult.

Don’t know if there is a point to my rambling.. just realized the linear folks are a little to anal sometimes, and I like my folks better.

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[anniea]

Rick, I always heard it was Depression was anger turned inward. So I got to thinking about this, and guilt is acutally a precursor to depression often. Thanks..I will amend the saying in my brain.. The guilt is what got me in the pit the last week or so. Its the recognizing it that helps to change it too.. It has taken me some days, but it is better.. thanks for the tidbit.

Yous guys ever coming to Montana to promote your book?

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[anniea]

Rick— I vote for buttons and Magnets..I have used buttons for years…they are interchangeable.. cheaper, I can get more than one. Depending on the saying or design. You can have one for every situation…if you can keep track of them..

I love the late fee saying… I used to tell the librairian “Yes I can’t remember to bring them back on time, but I bet I’ve financed at least one row of books in this place.”

Also, you can’t wear a tshirt to work at the hospital for instance, but a funny button is appropriate.. and a conversation opneer.

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[anniea]

Tea anxiety compounds everything for me. Prozac is what I am taking for depression. I take Ritalin but not everyday..as it went sky high, so I take it when I need it…most days but not everyday.

I went to 12 step meetings for families and that helped with old shame/perfectionist ways. I have done one on one couseling that was the biggest help. The last one was for ADD issues… she retired, so I have to find a coach maybe..

Doing some walking or volunteering when the guilt/anxiety gets too much is helpful somedays.

Mindfulness training has helped also, I’ve been at this for 30 years..didn’t know what it was for 25 years..but its all related I think. We are perfect everyday, just here to learn something, and pay attention if possible.

Lots of days are good, but I am in a pit right now, but I still know it is temporary Just got to take a walk, and keep reading..

I love this website… reminds me I am NOT crazy..I’m ADD

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[anniea]

Billd I too hate food stuff in the water, I did the dishes under running water with a soapy cloth for years. Drives me crazy when my daughter does it now, hows that for full circle..

At some point I found I really LIKE my hands in the warm/hot water..I still rinse all the dishes off completely before washing in water.. and my brother told me how he used washing the dishes as a meditation..which I tried and waalaa another thing that helps with the chore. I do wait until there are “enough” dishes to do.. say 2-3 days worth..this however drives my honey a bit crazy so I am attempting to do them a little more often.

The Ritalin helps with everything usually… I am having a hard time with some meetings I am trying to set up..getting started, being frozen… all that frustration.. Uuuughh.

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[anniea]

Finding myself frozen, and frustrated over PHONE CALLS…uuuuggghhh…

The lynchpin is fear of failure/success it think.. Now I have to call the guy and tell him I didn’t make the calls, and re-scheule…

I KNOW this is ADD… reading the posts helps me remember not to forget.

now off to the phone

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[anniea]

Hello all, I am a nurse..for 26 plus years..first LPN then got my RN. I too have had more jobs than I can count. Night shift worked pretty good most of the time. I was day shift charge at a nurseing home for 4 years, I would come home and sleep for two hrs every nigt before dinner. I am working home health right now. It is low key, boring actually, but it is my favorite type of nursing. I am not getting paid nursing wages, but I can make the bills.

Looking back at all the kinds of nursing I have done, I can muli-task with the best of them, but its the sheer VOLUME we deal with that took a toll. It was a constant assault of noise, information, intercom pages, telephone, not to mention crabby aides and families.

I LOVE being a nurse, don’t give up. My thing is I never left til I was fired, and then that took a toll on my psyche too. I KNOW I am smart and a “good nurse”. Not picking up on inter-personal signals is difficult at times, as is remembering all the “stuff” I got done every day… every wk.

I too am in my 50s, sometimes I wish I had gone to get my advanced practice “license” as I am pretty sure I could have done it, but now is it worth the $$ and time.. I knew when I became a nurse I had found a home I would NEVER get bored with, and I haven’t..there is always something to learn or pass on.. I am looking to do more home health, and foot and nail care..and see what happens.. Don’t stop taking the medicine… it helps… Knowing what is the most critical things to get done of course..until it hits the fan and the “schedule” for the day goes out the window.. and remember…. nursing is a 24 hr job… where is it written we HAVE to get IT ALL done everyday?

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[anniea]

OOooo I found this stuff non perscription that has helped me like crazy.. Calms Forte homeopathic medication by Hylands…

It does not make me tired it helps me relax and be able to sleep, and if I need to be up in the morning, I go to bed early and take this Calms Forte…can use it for anxiety too, but I have always used it for sleep.. If I can get to bed early I can get up much easier..if not faster… It does not work fast tho, so you have to take it 30 mins or so before bedtime..I also have a little routine that involves hot choc with milk..

I think I even gave this to my Dxd daughter when she was younger when she could NOT sleep…not habit forming…just something that works for me..no “hang over” either..LOVE IT.

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