[dspicelady]

Curlymoe115- Are you my twin? Other than being diagnosed early-myself last month (43 yrs), I hear everything, I mean everything you’re saying. I feel the whole mimic thing too. I use the word fraud. It’s like I watch to see how people react to things, because I’m not sure if I know what is the appropriate reaction. So, I try to act like them. I end up feeling like a fraud. Unfortunately, I’m not yet at a point where I feel comfy just being who I am, because quite frankly, I’m not entirely sure who that is yet, and most of my reactions are the very things creating problems in my life. Does that make any sense to anyone? ‘Cause I don’t know if it makes sense to ME!

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[dspicelady]

About every 7 years, I completely change professions. Just get really bored. Luckily, I’m blessed with some intelligence, so that part isn’t an issue. The thrill of starting down a new path, the learning of new things, is a real charge for me. I’ve waited tables, worked in accounting, run a small daycare, real estate, and currently my husband and I own our own business (small pizzeria). On one hand I wish I could stay interested longer, but on the other hand, I’ve enjoyed many different “careers”, learned alot, met many interesting people and I don’t regret a thing. Maybe one day, I’ll find that bliss that keeps me anchored, but until then, I’ll stay grateful for the opportunities that have come along.

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[dspicelady]

Worst I heard was from a psychiatrist at the ER. My 15 yr old daughter (at the time being assessed for possible bipolar, but definite adhd), was in a bad state. We were told if she was in crisis, take her to the ER. She felt she wanted to hurt herself. We went and everyone from the Triage Nurse to the ER doc to the Crisis Centre wanted to know what we thought they could do for her. Well THEY were the experts, right? They called in the psychiastrist and after she talked AT my daughter for 30 minutes, she called me in and said,”Well, like I told your daughter, life is stressful, gotta suck it up.” This is an actual quote!

I couldn’t wait to get her the heck out of there. I stayed glued to her side for 48 hrs, until the crisis had past, and upped her meds. Waited until we could get in to see family dr.

What kind of quack tells a 15 yr old suicidal kid who is asking for help, to “suck it up”?

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[dspicelady]

MT9er-yes the comment was for the thread. you are absolutely right. I too, spin those endings. I’m constantly told that I “over-analyze” everything. Yet when I don’t do that, I’m told that I am thoughtless and/or clueless regarding an issue (most likely due to the lack of umpulse control-think it, say it). A happy medium would be great! That is what I’m working towards. Think about it, but don’t say it unless I really should! I am hoping that one day my hubby and I can also go to marriage councelling. He is very resistant, but he also refused to believe he might have ADD. He always thought that if he had it, someone might shove pills down his throat and then he’d be a zombie. Hopefully, when he sees that now that I’m getting treatment (including meds and pyschotherapy), I am not becoming a zombie, but rather a more relaxed and productive human being who is more pleasant to be around (this is what my kids are telling me anyways), maybe he won’t have this fear any longer.

So….sorry for the tangent…..maybe one day we’ll be in a place to go for councelling together. One day at a time. Just want to get myself to that good place first.

I’m sorry to hear of your “huge issue of trust”. My hope is that you and your wife will hold on longer to at least give the councelling a try. The one thing that keeps my hubby and I going are the 22 years invested. It’s alot to walk away from.

In any case, my thoughts are with you.

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[dspicelady]

I think with the meds working, your emotions are coming more into focus along with everything else!

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[dspicelady]

Reading your post hit a nerve with me. I am the ADD one in our marriage and now being treated. I’ve spent alot of time second guessing my reactions/feelings regarding most things in our marriage. Am I being unreasonable? Is this the ADD rearing it’s ugliness or is my hubby being a (fill in the blank)?

Well after getting comfortable with medication and pyschotherapy, and becoming waaay more calm and “reasonable”, I watched ADD and Loving It?! again. Guess who I saw very clearly? My hubby! He shows alot of different symptoms than I do, but this is part of what is frustrating. Where exactly is the ADD and where is just two people who have a difference of opinion? These were things I really needed to get straight in my own head. With the help of my therapist, I can see where my ADD is and where my learned responses are. And now I can see that my hubby most likely is struggling with some of the same issues I am. I can’t fault him for that.

We had a very frank convo today about that very fact. That it wouldn’t be ridiculous to think that two Adders would be attracted to each other because of their energy, etc. Then the pressures of life, mortgage, work, kids, etc. happen, and things could quite easily fall apart. I never expected him to acknowledge the possibility of him also having it, (then again it’s rampant in his family as well), but he did! He started telling me about all kinds of symptoms, most of which he likes, for example his extreme hyperness(translation-workaholic-we own our own business). We’ve decided that we can either allow our marriage to implode or try to celebrate our gifts, almost like we did when we first met and started dating.

Wow, that all sounds easier said than done, but I guess you gotta start with a plan!

I’m really glad to hear that you are doing better. Because when you are doing better, you will be able to help him, whether or not he has ADD.

Maybe you need someone outside of your marriage (coucillor/psychiatrist,etc) to help you have confidence in your feelings.

Hopefully, somewhere in this post, something was helpful.

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[dspicelady]

Hi there. I am just starting week 3 of 27mg of Concerta. The second week was a hit and miss sort of thing. I still had that electrical-current-buzzy thing happening, headachy, but still focussed. This week, I just feel….normal. But not the normal I felt unmedicated. Normal, like how I imagined others felt. Able to just do stuff without feeling overwhelmed and burnt out before even starting. I used to be exhausted and miserable by midafternoon. This week, I’ve got all of my Christmas shopping done, wrapped, house clean, and I even made cookies tonight. (I’ve been planning to make these cookies for 2 years, no joke). There isn’t that pressured, hyper need to keep moving, but rather a calm, motivated “heck, I feel like doing_____. Well, why not!”

You might need to chalk it up to a bad day, and give the meds more time. Medication doesn’t change how we’ve trained ourselves to react to stress.

But definitely mention this to your doctor.

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