[dspicelady]

Doesn’t E.I. stand for Enormous Idiot? Sorry, was that out loud? If those people(meaning service employees) are treating you disrespectfully, then they should be ashamed of themselves. Unfortunately, there are too many people all over the service industry that are lacking in basic manners let alone customer service skills.

Don’t let them get you down! They don’t know you! Their treatment of you says more about themselves than about you. When you come across someone like that, use your imagination. Inside your head, anything goes, remember? I like to imagine things happening to them while they are being so rude. Like a giant fly going up their nose or spider camping out on their shoulder or a sneeze attack that makes them pee themselves. (Ya so I’m weird and not always very nice. I didn’t make these things happen, just imagined karma at work.)

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[dspicelady]

Trashman, I hope you read this with the good intentions that are meant, but honey, if she can’t see the wonderful human being that you so clearly are, then it’s her loss! You have to stop with the low IQ crap(I say this lovingly) because there are people out there with enormous IQ’s who are horrible people. While IQ has some value in this world, it does not make anyone worthwhile in the grand scheme of things. Kindness, patience, caring. Those things are infinitely more important and have nothing to do with IQ, and you have those qualities in abundance.

You have struggles? Do you actively try to work them? Do you try to improve yourself everyday? My guess is, yes! Do you have some failures? Doesn’t everyone?

I really hope you can see that I’m not trying to yell at you. I really want to come over to where ever you are right now and give you a shake, though. lol! Because, I read your posts, and you make me smile. You make me see that others are going through similar things and aren’t giving up. YOU ARE GOOD!

I have people in my life that aren’t ready or willing to understand my ADD. Maybe as a concept, but not a reality. They think, I should be able to take a pill and their lives will be great. They are not willing to learn about it or understand, truly understand, and maybe even help me with it. I’m guessing that’s true with your wife. So I feel ya. (By the way, my IQ is high average and people close to me still think I’m crazy, so go figure!)

One thing I’m learning for me, is that I can only learn for me. If your wife doesn’t want this challenge, you can’t force it on her. I am sad for the both of you, if things go bad. But remember we ADDer’s do tend to see the worst case scenerios, and maybe if you do go on assistance, some of the $ stress would be lifted and you could focus on something that would be blissful! Maybe she won’t kick you to the curb at all.

I understand when you say you would need to work or do something productive. Maybe this could be an opportunity. I’m trying to look at the bright side here. Before you make any decisions, please look at some of the positives of being on assistance because there are some. Volunteer work, can keep you grounded and structured. There is sure to be something you like to do, but have not had the time because you were too busy trying desperately to earn an acceptable living.

I do not presume to have any answers for you, but hope you start viewing yourself in the positive light I see you. Having you here on this site, and reading your posts helps me everyday. Thank you

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[dspicelady]

When my neighbour calls and asks what’s for dinner, I know that my bbq is on fire again and it’s time to call for take-out.

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[dspicelady]

@12ntaddup~You may want to send an email to your couples therapist detailing your concerns, making sure to acknowledge that you are in no way interested in getting him/her to take sides, but requesting advice in how to broach the subject with your husband. Perhaps, the therapist, with this new information, can observe behaviours and make recommendations based on those observations, so that the subject is brought up by someone other than you. Also, you didn’t mention if you have children? If children are present or planned for the future, this is something both of you should at least be aware of.

I am in a similar situation. I have ADD myself. My husband acknowledges that he probably does (it’s rampant in his family). He scored high in all tests he was willing to do and the documentary was like….duh! But he refuses to seek any sort of treatment. He likes how he is. Parts of who he is, is fantastic, but as you and I both know, there are parts that are extremely difficult to deal with.

I hope that whatever you choose to do (or not) works out for everyone concerned. I’m super-impressed that he was willing to go to councelling. Any suggestions on how I could get my hubby there?

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[dspicelady]

Are we the only two awake this morning? hehe. Let’s see….I have an amazing ability to get to the absolute core of any issue. A very fine-tuned BS metre. I can see the tiniest details. I can watch a show and pick out every editing error, read a book and find all of the typos and grammar mistakes. I can plan out a scenerio, with every conceivable outcome, bringing in a whole slew of variables. I can draft iron-clad contracts. Pretty much anything that relies on details, I’m your girl.

Of course, it should be noted that all of this doesnt work if it relates to my own behaviour, thoughts etc.

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[dspicelady]

It has to be something pretty significant for me to hold a grudge. Mostly, I end up forgetting the misjustices committed against me, or I end up thinking I somehow created the problem. But….if it’s really big or if something happens too many times, it’s done. There definitely is a line and once it’s crossed, it can’t be uncrossed. I don’t know if I’d call it a grudge. That person is just out of my life.

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[dspicelady]

I feel the same. My husband is pretty much fed up with hearing about it. My kids scatter if I’m on the computer or have an ADD book at hand. Self education, I guess, Is SELF education. The part that is annoying to me, probably another ADD trait, is that one of my daughters has ADD and it is highly suspected that my husband has it as well. I would think they would want to understand or at least be aware of the many aspects of this.

The other day, my daughter was experiencing a bit of rebound from her concerta. My husband was freaking out about how miserable she was and wanted to punish her for her mouthiness, etc. Of course an argument between the two happened. I’ve been working on my impulsivity and trying really hard not to get into the middle of these things, but I ended up having to get involved. After explaining to both of them what was likely happening, my husband says to me, ” Well how the heck am I supposed to know this stuff?!” Hmmmmmm, I guess he could have listened to me when I was telling him about symptoms, meds, therapy, side effects, struggles, any number of topics. Instead he thinks we should be able to just take a pill and all should be good.

Now on the other side of the coin, and forgive me this flip, but I for one, can become very obsessive when it comes to any new interest. Learning about ADD definitely qualified as a new interest. My hubby, I’m sure remembers when I took up running, vegetarianism, real estate, my mother-in-laws failing health…..all of these things were researched with gusto and spoken of incessantly. It does become overwhelming for someone else to hear so much about something that is of little interest to that person.

It can be very difficult for everyone involved. It is hard to find someone to listen to our struggles on a fairly regular basis, but it is equally difficult to be that person who.

Again, grateful for this website and forum!

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[dspicelady]

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[dspicelady]

Ok Jen, at the risk of hyperfocussing here lol (’cause I’ve mentioned it before, and you just keep showing how right I am-thanks by the way!)…..your description of career aptitudes sounded like a draft of an amazing article! I wish I had the resources, or authority to hire you right now to write, write, write!

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[dspicelady]

~”Sometimes I think that’s a good thing, because if I was around them too much I think I’d become to annoying.”~

I hear ya there! As a friend, I am fiercely loyal! Too bad I’m not always observant. I’ve lost what I thought were really good friends through lack of follow-through, too much guffaw, not enough paying attention. Now I’m just too afraid to put myself out there for anything deeper than an occasional positive facebook comment, or maybe (gulp) coffee with a friend. I tend to stick close to home (hubby and kids and dogs). Feels safer that way. So, I too understand that loneliness. I can rarely be my true self with anyone. Lately, I’ve discovered that my youngest daughter has much the same sense of humour and creative ideas as myself. It’s a huge relief to have someone to have those “other-worldly” conversations with, to laugh hysterically over something so “non-linear”. I wish I had had that when growing up.

Question-Any chance you can get into the entertainment industry? Maybe not as a career, but as a hobby? I guess I just am so happy for anyone who knows where they have a passion, that I wish for them to parttake in it. I have yet to find my passion. I love doing anything and everything…..for a while.

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[dspicelady]

When I graduated elementary school, I was awarded several honours including top academic. Graduated 12 and 13, Ontario scholar and top female math award (98% in Calculus alone). School work was beyond easy for me. I read it, I remembered it. I was told it, I could regurgitate it on a test. I could BS my way through any kind of essay(many of which were sent on to contests-none of which won).

I was also socially pathetic. Got into drugs because everything seemed so pointless, and tedious. On the outside, everything looked fine to my parents, but I couldn’t seem to get the motivation for a life plan. Never went to college or university. Never thought I could make it or cared enough to try. Why? Don’t remember. Just still not living up to potential.

I agree with you, laffman, sometimes the intelligence can mask things. My sense of humour can be at varying times intellectual, sarcastic, slapstick, toilet, dry, pretty much any type out there. I can be exceptionally entertaining, but then I can be exceptionally annoying as well.

I think it was said best in the documentary, not sure by which doc, (paraphrasing here) that when you’ve see one person with adhd, you’ve seen one person with adhd.

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[dspicelady]

Hi chrisbernardi. Unfortunately there isn’t anything around here. I have been searching as well. I have come across a psychiatric nurse who is dealing with ADD and she also is looking. I have come across someone from I think the Fonthill area who is interested in getting something together and is currently assessing interest. Here is her email if anyone around the Niagara Region is interested. She also has a facebook group you can join. email… ash_smith@me.com facebook… Niagara Area ADD/ADHD Support Group

Nice to “meet” a fellow St. Kitts.

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[dspicelady]

Giddygoat- No expert here, but……most MD’s don’t have the time to really hear what your telling them, although yours might be fantastic. Not sure where you are located. How long it takes to see a psych doc may play into your decision.

Something docs consider when starting meds is “what works for family members?” Considering the fact that ADD has a major genetic component, this can mean that the structural deficiency may be similar in family members. This may not be the case, but can be a good starting point.

I started to take the same meds that my daughter found helpful. Our doses are different, (maybe because I’ve got years on her and a few coping strategies under my belt), and our “challenges” are different, but the meds seem to help us both.

As far as a journal….forget about it. If you are having trouble even conceiving of a journal, then put it out of your mind. Should you choose to try meds, you will know whether or not you feel better, worse or nothing at all. It does take time, and dose adjustments, and you might need to have others you trust watch you and give you feedback. I found that stressing out over whether or not to take meds was so much worse than any side effects of taking the meds.

While my doc and I were deciding, I did take one of my daughter’s pills. That was the day I knew I was going to say yes to my doc. I told him what I did, and instead of judging me he asked how I’d felt that day. When I told him I was able to keep a single thought in my brain for a whole 30 seconds that day, he just pulled out his script pad, while we both had a chuckle. Now I am in no way advocating anyone, anytime taking anyone’s presciption. I am just sharing what I did and how it helped me. I still have a long way to go, but definitely am going in the right direction.

On a side note, I had never been able to journal. I found it tedious, could never write fast enough, and when I re-read something I wrote it never made any sense. Now that I am on meds, I do write in a journal, it started as alot of bitching and complaining and has progressed into contructive analysis. I don’t write everyday. I just find it amazing since it was something that I never thought I would ever do.

I wish you all the best. The decision-making process is brutal. Just breathe. And know that either choice you make regarding meds is not absolute or irreversible. Hopefully, you can eliminate some of your stresses just knowing that.

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[dspicelady]

I am the opposite. I find most things so overwhelming, that I prefer my food much more boring. Buffets stress me out. Too much choice, not enough room. LOL!

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[dspicelady]

I don’t know, trashman, if it’s an ADD thing or just you AND me. I also feel rushed all the time. It’s funny because my life for the most part really isn’t all that stressful (only when I make it so). Yes, I’m busy, lots to do, but really, I have the time to get things done. It just feels like I always have to rush. For myself, it’s like the “time police” are chasing me.

I know how easy it is to let myself get distracted and suddenly have several hours go by, so I feel like I have to get my “stuff” done really quickly before I lose myself in something. There have been too many times when I have been reading, working or whatever, and time disappears and then I discover all kinds of mistakes or missed appointments etc. I also tend to get pretty ticked off at myself because I know I let myself “drift”. This, for me, is where the hurrying comes from. The stress and fear of losing time to my distractibility and of disappointing myself and everyone around me again and again. I too understand that feeling of being so rushed that you start nothing. I chalk it up to anxiety over not being able to finish it (getting distracted) or just not paying enough attention to do it right. I end up feeling like a computer with too many apps and not enough working memory. Physically frozen in place, but frantic inside.

I don’t know if any of this made any sense to you, but I felt in my head that I knew what you meant and wanted to show my support.

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