[Blue Yugo]

Sometimes I’m just too lazy to put something into my smartphone calendar.  Or it’s a small “to do” thing (usually accompanied by a dozen others) that I want to get done in the current day.  I have a dry-erase white board, but if I leave the house…no white board.  And yes, I was too lazy to type in a to-do list into my mobile!  So…I take a photo of the list on the white board to carry around with me.  It’s one photo…and it contains my whole checklist.  No typing.  No scrolling.  And, it allows me to be lazy and still have my list.

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[Blue Yugo]

I prefer working 2nd shift.  I think best at night because the noise of the world and people in the community quiets down and I can think better.  Perhaps the lack of outdoor light also helps decrease visual stimuli, and with stores mostly closed after 10pm, my mind doesn’t race around debating if I should run out for something…because that’s often not an option later.  Perhaps it’s also a decrease in what metaphysical circles would call psychic energy of others also in the area.  Be it audio noise or subtle brainwave noise, maybe some of us are more sensitive to all the different energies.  When we’re not bombarded by psychic energy, we’re free in our own minds, too.

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[Blue Yugo]

Switching doctors is always an option.  “Family Doctors” are the worst place to go for ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc.  Even “basic” psychiatry doctors have different approaches and different levels of education in very specific areas.  Family doctors are internists… they didn’t study psychiatry, so they just match symptoms to drugs.  So get some recommendations or do a little research to find a true expert in the field.

Consider “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy”.  Find an expert with that.  While drugs may take a while to work, having behavior modifications to employ (and have someone who can support you there) can help when you feel derailed.

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[Blue Yugo]

I was bullied at a call center job by a black girl who used racist, anti-white language at me.  Because she was buddy-buddy with the boss, all my complaints went ignored and I was basically told that there’s no such thing as reverse-discrimination.  I had another boss years earlier who used me as her verbal punching bag and would sometimes call me into her office just to cuss and vent her frustration, my purpose being just an ear to listen to her rant.  I was not aware of ADD back then, but it was a good thing I really wasn’t listening to her because she had so many more interesting trinkets on her desk that continually distracted me.

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[Blue Yugo]

Been waiting a long time for such a video!  I have 3 pages of stuff I’d written up on that topic which is full of many questions that hopefully it (or future videos…?) can answer.  As a current job-seeker, I’d also like strategies and help for things like job interviews.  I sometimes have a hard time paying attention during interviews (esp. the dry blah blah about the job…just tell me how much it pays!) and when they ask me about my prior work experience.  Is it cheating or does it look bad to have to consult my resume to remember what dates I’d worked where…and what I did during those pesky couple-month gaps between jobs?  Ugh, I could go on…but I’ll wait for the video and claw the walls for more later.

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[Blue Yugo]

Yeah, today I called one of my credit card companies in a hurry because the bill is due and I still haven’t gotten my new card and new account number (they switched me to another bank). After getting the account cancelled, a new card en route, and a payment over the phone sans a transaction fee….I went downstairs and there was the envelope with my card in today’s mail, just tossed atop a growing pile of junkmail and I’d ignored it.  Oops.

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[Blue Yugo]

The worst is family gatherings or workplace events for which they hire DJ’s.  I’m sorry to all those DJ’s out there, but either turn down the volume or stick to karaoke clubs.  I can’t stand having to shout at the top of my lungs to have conversation over music that is already extremely loud.  That, plus with so much noise it just becomes chaos and it’s hard to maintain conversation because too much noise from all around.

Off the original topic, but how the thread wandered…

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[Blue Yugo]

@wanderquest I either talk too much…or not enough.  I am sometimes successful in being in my own little solipsistic world out and about at stores, hiking trails, or the amusement park.  I recently hit upon a term “Misophonia”, which is a misnomer, but describes why I’m sometimes freaked out by certain noises that cause me to flee places.

It describes the portion of my ADD mind which needs to escape from noises that very much literally “hijack” my brain and don’t allow me to freely concentrate on what I want to.  There is no faster way to get me to abandon my shopping cart and flee a store than for there to be a wailing baby.  Then again, I also have a strange meditation CD that is literally the sounds of footsteps scrunching through a path of fallen autumn leaves that doesn’t bother me in the least.  Crowds can sometimes hijack my brain and I’d need to be with someone else so a) I don’t feel awkward being alone, and b) if they talk with me, then I have something specific to concentrate on and don’t zone out in all the excessive noise.  Problem is…having so few friends (and hardly any that enjoy amusement parks), I don’t get to go many places with others.

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[Blue Yugo]

I think I drift over to lonely corners when in a crowd because then I can avoid the awkwardness of not paying attention to what other people are talking about, or my own tendency to talk excessively.  It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.

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[Blue Yugo]

I got bad grades in 4th through 6th grade because I was very picked on, but aside from that, through Middle and High School I was always on the Honor Roll, and in college on the Dean’s List.  I had a problem in school called “This is so boring and un-challenging, I am bored to tears!”

I did well because I learned the material fast.  That worked well for my then undiagnosed ADD because I learned faster than the average kid, so I could easily afford to doodle and daydream and do anything BUT pay attention in class.  I did constantly feel overly impatient for the slow pace of even “college prep” level classes, and I’d wind up similar in the work world…can’t stand slowness or being bored, and I am constantly in need of challenges and mental stimulation.  School was not mentally stimulating, and the pace was so slow, I tuned out due to combination of boredom and I was probably going to tune out anyway.  In hind-sight, I’m lucky I guess, to have gotten good grades despite everything.  My secret was that I wasn’t really paying attention half the time, but the slow pace of public school meant that if I paid attention only 25% of the time, I’d still absorb the lesson.  Then, no one would discover that I was inattentive.  I was a bit immature for my age, though, and that was tough to hide.  But being a 16 year old senior didn’t help either.

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[Blue Yugo]

I had very very few friends as a kid.  I had many “false” friends who just used me in my adult life.  As I began weeding out the users, in recent years I’ve found a few new and good friends even though I feel like most of them only bother with me as a last resort.  At least one has ADHD and I get to laugh at the fact that he’s got worse ADD tendencies than I do.

A lot of my friends are co-workers, and since I’m due to leave my current job in 29 days, I hope to still be in contact with them.  (If history’s any indication though, they’ll drop me like a ton of bricks once I leave.)  I try to find friends online, but it’s hard to get people to reply to me in posts and social media.  I’m the poster child of being alone in a crowd to the point I sometimes wonder if I’m the only real person in the world.

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[Blue Yugo]

The average time to get over a relationship (and this is according to a recent trivia question on a local radio station) is 17 to 19 months.  It’s just some general rule of thumb, but internet sources seem to agree that an average is hard to calculate.  Either way, I’d personally recommend some form of “emotional cord cutting”.  If you’re not good at meditation or sitting quietly to visualize a cord-cutting, find someone who can help you with that.  If all else fails, “be selfish”…and spend a while literally talking aloud to yourself and saying that you divorce the ex- from your life, the ex- is no longer welcome, and any vow or words of commitment spoken in the past are hereby revoked, rescinded, and null-and-void.

…Just trying to help.

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[Blue Yugo]

I have no attention span for “Who-dun-it’s” on TV.  I always miss something important because those were the 30 seconds I tuned out.  There’s no way I could be on a jury.  I’d be so antsy and bored.

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[Blue Yugo]

I’ve always been shy about asking people (mostly at work) to either repeat themselves or slow down so that I can write down things I need to remember.  Never has any of those people been put off by me asking that of them, and I was told that bosses appreciate it…not the other way around as I’d naturally feared.  I used to think that it was “Failure” to have to ask that of people, but it works…and no one gets mad at you for asking.  And if they do, they’re the ones being rude, not you.

I’m only just adapting to using my cell phone to remind me of tasks.  I think it has an option for voice recorder…if not, my cheap $10 MP3 player has a mic and voice-record capability I should really utilize more often.  I gotta get my mind out of the 80’s when we had those little journalist recorders with the mini cassette tapes.  I was never so lucky to have one of those, but I did have Soundwave, Ravage, Rumble, and Frenzy…for all you fellow 80’s-kid toy geeks out there.  But if I did have one like my sister’s, I would have probably mostly used it for recording “slow” speech so I could use the fast speed option to make it sound like the Chipmunks.  In fact, if I had one today, that’s what I’d use it for.  So you see my problem is that I goof around with stuff instead of actually apply “helper” technology to make my life more organized.

Hmmm…so why if we’re aware we goof up and don’t “get it done”, we still don’t do anything to correct the problem even when it jumps around in our brain?  Anyway, I’m mostly off topic I guess, but I’m on a major hunt right now for workplace advice, and some of this pertains to workplace challenges, so here I am talking everyone’s ear off and thus failing at yet one more thing.

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[Blue Yugo]

I struggle with saying “no” to varying degrees.  Often I don’t have much of a social life, but then friends invite me places so I say “yes” readily, even if it is a sacrifice to getting necessities done for myself.  Though I’m not always good at getting things done around the house anyway, so it seems not to hurt to say “yes” and take advantage of social outings.

In the past, I had trouble saying “no” in a different setting…which was basically because I’d had “so-called” friends as a trend for most my life who always took advantage of me and asked “favors” that rarely ever got paid back.  A therapist helped me dig into it and revealed that I said “yes” when I really wanted to say “no” out of a sense that it felt rude for me to say “no” even in situations I was clearly being taken advantage of.  So, she challenged me to say “Who is being rude?  You for saying no, or them for taking advantage of you?”  The answer was obvious, and soon I said “no” and later simply weeded the users out of my life.

I guess it’s less harmful when genuine friends who also do me favors and treat me like I’d want to be treated ask me to do things with them.  I do enjoy the times spent with them, and for having not had a healthy social life for so many years, it’s nice to feel true friendship.  I know if I say “no”, it won’t be guilt-trips or tossing me aside, but I’m afraid to say no even to my real and true friends…unless I absolutely have to.  I just hope I don’t go too far in the other direction and wind up addicted to an active social life where I’m going out places after work most nights of the week.  Although it’s as opposed to historically feeling either used or abandoned, I hope one day to accept a healthy balance between being able to say “yes” or “no” without feeling like I’ve done wrong saying one or the other either to myself or a friend.

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