[Carrie]

Its good to hear you don’t regret having the meds and coaching soon in life. I think thats a great outlook! I have an uncle whos now 42 and “has nothing to show for it” as he says. He is a crack addict, and I told him as long as he has breath there is hope. Its never too late. Unless of course he dies hahahaha Sorry I have a warped sense of humor. Anyways… My dad had a lot of problems with alcohol too, just like you always took us out to do outdoorsy things! Fishing, hunting, river rides, firewood etc. I dont feel I missed out as well.

A new place is always exciting! Enjoy your new fireplace! I like wood heat, I just wish it would stoke itself, and get itself, and split itself and clean up after itself…. My husband is good for all that! Mwa ha ha ha haaaaaa

I am still looking for an ADD coach. The city 40mins from here doesnt have one, so im gonna try south. The city an hour away. Its a little bigger and maybe I can find someone there! Ive been doing pretty good though and found that “FlyLady” someone here had suggested very helpful!

You do have a coach?

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[Carrie]

hahaha its funny how you accidentally took too much! I did the SAME thing today. I forgot what time I took my first 15mg and took another 15mg I figure about 2 hours too early! I was very spaced out and felt so wired at the same time! Sheesh My goodness your life is pretty hectic right now eh? I agree on needing more coverage in a day thats for sure. Each dose lasts about 5 hours for me and im up at 7am and in bed around 12am.

I didnt take my dose until after I brought my son to school and sure enough, I zipped in, zipped out and didnt make eye contact haha I also found it next to impossible to get my butt up to do anything at all! Thats the way I was always before, it seemed to take so much energy to do simple everyday tasks. I took my meds and got the dishes done, 4 loads of laundry, folded and put away, kept the fire going and had my kids all neatly packed for their sleep over at grandmas, emailed some inquiries about working overseas, and found myself a financial adviser, as well as got ready for work! Im just loving it!

Heres another big change! I had a meeting at work today, a lame power-point, and WOW!! Just WOW!! I could actually keep up and focus the whole time!! I couldnt believe it! Normally I go off into my own “cartoon world” (I doodle.. a lot! should see my college notes… doodles up one side and down the other).

Great to hear about your journal success. I dont know if im gonna do it. Really I wouldnt care to remember that me… plus if I want to remember I can just stop the meds for a few days hahaha Ive been keeping all my focus on my future right now. Been planning all the things I want to take my kids to experience… Like where milk and food comes from. I want to take them to a farm so they can learn and see, and to the Science museum on the space tour! A hot air ballon ride! Disneyland! West Edmonton Mall! And of course live in another country for a year so they can experience another culture! Ive also been thinking a lot goals I want to acheive. Retirement savings, education savings, family vacations, health goals, etc! Ive been busy these last 2 days searching the web and finding ways to make this all a reality. Why I searched out a financial adviser as well. Im hoping I can learn how to be smart with my money!

Well, I should be off to bed. Gotta get up in 5hours and go back to work! Talk to ya tomorrow!

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[Carrie]

I dont think coffee and Ritalin are a good mix! hahaha That may be why you were edgy.. I would try the 15mg without it Im not sure how quickly or if the body adjusts to the Ritalin, but maybe skip a day of dosage to see if there is a difference? I found there is even though I dont feel any different while on it… Like I said, it wasnt until I STOPPED for a day I saw the difference! I hope everything works out with your doctor!

Glad to hear your anxiety has went down. I find thats the best part! I can do things now without the panic and overwhelming feeling of simple everyday tasks! I think the journal is a great idea, and testing for your kids too! Mine are still a bit young yet, 4 and 5… But im keeping a close eye on them! Just like you said, I dont want them to have to go through it if they dont have to!

Thanks for letting me know about the challenge! Im very excited for it! The first challenge I didn’t do because we never eat by the PC and we dont have cable, satellite, any of that (only because we never watch it so why pay?), and we all eat at the table as a family.

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[Carrie]

Good morning, good morning!

Bluesman! Thats great that he noticed a difference! My husband hasnt really noticed one with me, no one really! hahaha But I am noticing a lot now!

Yesterday morning I took 10mg, but felt that wasnt quite enough, so in the evening took 20mg and actually found that to be too much. I was on edge. This morning I took 15mg and feel great! I had my son all ready for school and got him there on time with no panic attack, I even made conversation with another mom when normally I jet in, and jet out trying not to make any eye contact hahaha My laundry and dishes are going.

When I came home on… Sunday from my evening shift I found my whole house to be spotless! Even the laundry done! Floors all shining, windows sparkling! I couldnt believe my eyes! My mom and grandma came over when I left for work, together with my husband, cleaned everything for me! My mom watched the “ADD and loving it?!” video and is understanding how the ADD brain works so thought she would help me out and get me organized! Now that im on meds I want to keep it this way! I am quite happy about how my brain is… not slower but… quieter! I can actually think and finish a thought before rushing to a next and organize myself and get things done!

My dad called me yesterday and told me he watched the movie as well. I am EXACTLY like him (my profile pic is the 2 of us haha) in the ways we think and I am 100% sure he has ADD too… He was thinking maybe he was because of the things I was telling him, but I told him to watch the video and he will see. He did, and he believes without a doubt he has it too. I am very happy for him because it really has taken over his life and has caused him a lot of trouble. I know it will change his outlook and life once he has proper meds and learns how to deal and use it to his advantage! My mom now understands why my dad is the way he is. Before she thought he just didn’t listen or care too because he always “zoned out” and he is very impulsive which has caused him problems with money. Now my mom is understanding about it and not hurt or angry anymore. Very exciting!

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[Carrie]

Hey John! Good to hear about the progress you are making as well!

Redriver – What times do you take your meds? Right now I am taking them twice a day as prescribed by my doctor but find I dont have enough coverage throughout the day. I either skip the morning, or skip the afternoon. Im gonna talk to doc about taking it 3 times.

I find I really notice the difference when off the meds. I guess while on I just do things automatically without thinking. Today I am going to only take 10mg to see if thats all I need instead of the 20mg.

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[Carrie]

Oooooh! Anascarsa!! I LOVE your profile picture!

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[Carrie]

Wow! Good for you! Thats a lot done in the day!

Im happy to say ive had my “WOW/Ah-ha” moment!! I took 20mg today around 11am and then again at 4pm… And noticed while on it I could listen to and follow everything my co-worker said! Not once did I start to zone out and hope she didnt realize I had no idea what shes saying as I gazed blankly into an eye… I try to look at both to mix it up… hahahaha Around 10pm when it wore off, she was talking away and I had no idea what was being said! hahaha I just couldnt believe it! It REALLY helps! I also made my way downtown without panicking once again. Normally I cant do errands, just too much going on at once. But I did it! Hooray!

As for the 20mg… Well I was first started on 5mg of Dexedrine last week and no change. Then I took 10mg and still not a thing. So my doctor told me to take 10mg the first few days to get my body used to it and then take 10-20mg as needed twice a day. Being severely disappointed with the Dexedrine I took 20mg right away. No side effects at all… like headache, loss of appetite, insomnia, that “nervous” feeling. Nothing. Like I said, I didnt even think it was really working until tonight! I am starting to see the difference. My next question will be to my doctor what dose I should be at… Is 10mg enough? Or should I continue with 20mg because I am seeing no side effects or adverse reactions… or should we up the dose more to see if there is a bigger change? I dont know! I am due to see her in about another week to update and reassess.

I am testing myself while on and off the med to try and see differences… I know tonight was a REAL one, not something I could justify to myself. I am quite pleased!

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[Carrie]

Hahaha

I once found my old journal from when I was a teen… Sheesh. That was a lot of drama too! And I never thought I was boy crazy till I read it ” Oh I like this boy! And this boy likes me, and this one likes me..” few weeks later “Now I like this boy and blah blah blah” Wow! So glad im not a teen anymore! hahahaha

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[Carrie]

Toofat and Laddybug – I love your life plans and how they played out! It always helps me to see an example and picture of things to make sense!

Toofat – Your absolutely right! I like to have those “dates” in place….. Thats what Im missing! and I find I REALLY need something to work towards a motivation! There have been many bumps in my road yes.. and have been kicked off the horse lots (or being stubborn, jumped off hahaha) but always found my way back on. Never easy… and still isnt! But am learning, and love it!

Jen – Thanks for the information! I really want to make living in Australia for a year something that WILL happen. Same with Ireland. I just want my kids to see this world is bigger than our little secluded valley. Australia isnt too different from out culture, but its somewhere different!

Fidgit and Nellie – Ive been thinking about this lots. What matters to me? There MUST be more to life then making money, saving it, and then retiring and loving life! You nailed it on the head Nellie. Thanks for the awesome links!! Its just really hard for me to sit and think of everything that matters and what my true motives are when they all move so fast! hahaha Im thinking maybe after a while of trying to sort out what I want from life, if it still doesnt work, see someone about it. Maybe a counselor to help me organize this brain!

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[Carrie]

Morning! Well now its afternoon! Thats one bad bug you’ve got there!

I didnt take any meds today. Felt same as always. I JUST took them now… Its now 1:18pm. Took 20mg. Im evening shift again, so will be off to work soon. I was quite tired this morning because I dont get home from work until 11, then was in bed by midnight and then my hsband dragged me out of bed to go to town (hour commute to the city) just to rush around and be back right away. So I crashed and just got up. Feeling good now.

Will post after work, or while there about how the rest is going!

Get better soon!

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[Carrie]

Aww too bad your sick! Theres a bug going around here too! Both my kids have it! Fun!

I managed quite well after writing that post… I got my dishes done, folded all my kids laundry, started and kept the fire going and had lunch hot and ready for my husband when he got home from work! Thats the most of done in almost a year sadly! Now was this the meds or am I simply having a good day? I did do the laundry which is something I NEVER do, and did not find myself so distracted. I even got my daughter whos 4 into cleaning. We raced! She beat me by cleaning her room before I had the dishes done! My husband was very impressed, only time will tell if its the meds or just me! I also read on a different forum that Ritalin could take up to 2 weeks to really kick in… But all the other posts ive read say its instant! Ah well.. We will see!!

The harp is fun! I cant play, but ive jammed with others who play it! Always nice to meet fellow musicians!

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[Carrie]

At first I would always disagree when someone complimented me… Take art work for example… I would paint something and people would adore it and tell me how good it was. I always disagreed because this colour didn’t blend to well, or its not the way I had seen it in my head, or this eye is slightly bigger than that one etc etc. I saw all the flaws in it… Same if they complimented my looks. I would go through everything that I found wrong with me….

I now smile and say thank you no matter if I agree or not with them. I chose to believe and trust them that maybe it isnt as horrible as I thought. I still tend to look at all the bad things about it, but am working on looking at the good, the fact that drawing, or art comes naturally to me. It may not be perfect, but that leaves room to grow and learn! Heck, if I was perfect, I would have nothing to strive for, or see improvements and feel accomplished about!

As for not liking to be noticed… that reminds me of a lady who I complimented… she got her hair cut and I told her it looked good… She got upset because she too didnt like to be noticed and liked to blend in the background… She didnt like to be noticed because she had been hurt bad before and figured if she blended in, no one would notice, and couldnt get hurt by anyone or anything.

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[Carrie]

I dont understand with me… No headaches, no upset stomach, not even a loss of appetite! Im having no side effects or good effects either. I feel no different at all.. Well I went into detail on my other post. Im getting very frustrated. Im 10-20mg Ritalin twice a day. Took it 2 and half hours ago.

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[Carrie]

Thanks so much for the reply! I LOVE your name “bluesman”. Do you play the blues? Like blues guitar or anything? I play the bass and LOVE to play the blues, its always so fun!

Well today is day…. 5 on Ritalin. Day 1 I took 10mg, and felt no change. Day 2 I took 20mg and felt very very weird, so thats all I took that day when I am suppose to take it twice a day. But I did find I could stop what I was doing on the PC and actually follow everything my 4 year old daughter was saying and understood what she really meant and didnt get lost in how she was saying it!

Day 3 I worked a 12 hour day shift (I do shift work) and took 20mg in the AM and 20mg in the afternoon. I had to flush a catheter (Im a nurse) and I hadnt done that in a long time so I was reading up on it, and still could not comprehend the simple directions in the book. Not until I was instructed by a fellow nurse on how to do it, did it make sense. Now I don’t know if the meds are suppose to help with the comprehension part or not… It could of been many factors…. But at the time of reading my mind was going a million miles an hour… but a lot of factors played in. My boss was right there, and reading stresses me out automatically because I have a hard time… I can read just fine, but have no clue what it is im reading! At the end of the day I managed to lose my cell phone which I NEVER do… I always lose my keys, drivers license, and bank card but NEVER my cell! Turns out I forgot I had it on my lap in the cafeteria and it fell into the chair! Anyways…. I also think I may not notice it at work because there is a set routine there and when there’s a routine I can follow it perfect. I just CANT establish a routine on my own! So no need to really concentrate when everything is laid out for me!

Day 4 was a 6hour day shift and took 20mg in the morning and 20mg in the afternoon. Once again not much of a difference but when I got home felt a little funny… I dont know how to describe it… Like my brain is doing the wave hahaha If that makes sense. I figure its because of the 20mg… My doctor told me to start with 10mg then go to 20mg if I still have no difference… and with my Dexedrine upset (since it did nothing or me.. huge let down) I just went to 20mg. Stupid… I know!

Today, day 5… I decided to only take 10mg. My husband has just started his first day at work (been laid off for a year). Now it is my responsibility to drop and pick up my son from school… This is a HUGE thing for me… Panic attack city!! Too many things going on there at once… This morning though I didnt panic… Which is a first! I was calm! Still rushed and unorganized, but calm! I find even now while typing this out I still trail off (just deleted about 5 paragraphs that I now condensed into the above sentence hahaha) and I was able to stop and listen to my daughter again… But unable to read or think while she was eating beside me making noise…

Honestly I am still very frustrated… Even thinking “maybe I dont have ADD”. My doctor said if Ritalin doesnt work, then they will have to reassess my diagnosis. All the “differences” I see can be justified, I think anyways! Maybe Im just having a good day today and thats why I was calm dropping him off. I STILL cant focus when there is background noise like my daughter! I had to make her go to a different room! I see everyone having these big WOW reactions, and I havent had mine, and if I did, it was not life changing like I expected… yes its only day 5… but everyone is seeing changes in the same day! Why not me? Maybe im confused on what the meds are suppose to help with… The things I need help with are behavioral and I guess meds dont change or make habits and thats where my expectations have failed me.

I cant set myself a routine or comprehend how to do so! Never know where to start… and it all is very overwhelming. Laundry is a GREAT example! There just so much of it, and it never ends and I dont know where to begin, how to start! Im very unorganized! Was hoping the meds would help, but thinking about it now, like I just said, they wont show me where to start or how to organize myself… I thought they would help me with this because the use of illicit stimulants made everything so calm and clear I KNEW what to do! I COULD do it. Everything just suddenly “clicked”. I could see where to start, and did, and knew how to keep the ball rolling, and could… The treatment is still young… But im really losing hope in all of it.

I would love to keep updating you! Its nice to have someone to relate to and update with!

Cheers!

Carrie

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[Carrie]

Good to hear!

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[Author]

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