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I think it’s difficult for those who don’t have ADD to really understand what it is. As hard as one may try, you can’t get into someone else’s head; see what they see, feel how they feel, and think the way they think. It’s natural to relate things to one’s own experience.

They may have an agenda, but it may not be malicous; they may think they’re really helping and have something to offer. I can forgive someone for that. But thinking they know better and actively preventing those in need from finding real help is wrong.

I’ve discussed my ADD with a few people and there seems to be two reactions. One, they say “Hey, that happens to all of us sometimes.” and, “WOW! I know exactly what you’re talking about!”. Those that respond with latter have ADD, and it’s a typical response on this forum. OK, so there are also those who understand it through study or from a friend or family member, but you get the point.

The reality is that ADD symptoms are common; everyone can relate to being distracted, or bored, or having a hard time getting started… at least some of the time, but it’s a matter of degree. When you have lived this way your entire life and found ways to cope, disguise, avoid or manage your way around it, you understand. So it’s understandable that some people think this is just a matter of “working harder” or “cleansing” or eating some magic beans (OK, well my doctor prescribed me magic beans that work, but…).

Anyway, just some thoughts.

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A checklist is a great idea… assuming you were organized enough to start one before you began your meds .

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I got the term Jimmy Legs from Kramer on Seinfeld … http://theseinfelddictionary.com/2009/03/14/jimmy-legs/

I used to put a CD on to go to sleep to, but that doesn’t go over so well when you’re married.

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Not me. I find caffeine makes it harder to fall asleep, though for different reasons than my ADD. It doesn’t make my mind race. Rather, it makes me feel restless… like I just can’t get comfortable… and I get the Jimmy Legs.

I used to consume a steady stream of coffee throughout the day; it seemed to be the only way I could function. I never slept well either. Eventually I realized I needed to stop by early afternoon, generally before 2:00 PM, in order to sleep. Not that it helped ALL my insomnia issue, but the restlessness stopped.

-Cyclone

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I’m really happy for you ashhockley. Thanks for sharing this.

I found some great advice on meds in Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo’s book “You mean I’m not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!” (doesn’t the title say it all?!). They described medication itself as a period of discovery and I can attest to this myself, having been on concerta for just over a month, following a month on antidepressants.

You won’t know what to expect from the meds and will find yourself searching for what it’s doing. Everything from the positive effects, more focus and energy for instance, and the side effects, constipation, insomnia, and whatever else you read about. It’s important to understand that, in some cases, you will experience these things because you expect them to occur; this is the so-called placebo effect. In drug trials they give some patients sugar pills to gauge whether drugs actually do what they are intended to do vs people’s minds making it up.

My point isn’t to suggest the drugs don’t work. Just prepare yourself to learn how they’re affecting you. Don’t be put off by side effects until you’re sure they’re persistent (mild ones at least, if you break out in hives don’t ignore it). And give yourself time to get used to the positive ones. And don’t be afraid to admit that they’re not working. Not all drugs work for everyone. You may need a different dose, or you may need a different med.

Anyway, this is great news and I look forward to hearing how you’re doing. I’ll stop now so Dr. J can correct me 🙄

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I got my first gray hair at 15, so I see my gray as a sign of youth!

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I’ve always had a hard time falling asleep; usually because my mind was racing. Even on the occasions I would fall asleep easily, I would usually wake up an hour or two later and my mind would get going and keep me up. Eventually I would get up and watch some really bad late night television while drinking a cup of warm milk with vanilla.

The morning is the opposite; I can sleep in forever. I have no problem forcing myself out of bed when I have to go to work or be somewhere, but I still sleep like a teenager on the weekends (not much of an example for my son, am I?). I have long dreamt (day dreaming) of feeling like I do in the morning when I go to bed.

That said, I do seem to be sleeping better now that I’m on Concerta. I think it’s a combination of being more active through the day, while also having a sense that I’ve accomplished more, and thus not thinking as much at night.

-Cyclone

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I was going to say something very profound and insightful… but I forgot what it was 🙄

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Thank you Scattybird. Really. I think I needed this as much as you did.

It’s been two months since my enlightenment. I completely understand where you’re coming from and I expect I have a long emotional journey ahead of me.

I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that you questioned whether it is real. I find myself doing the same. Am I a hypochondriac? Is it depression? I’ll resist the urge to rant right now (though I reserve the right to rant at 2:00 AM if I can’t shut my head off tonight), but I could go on like this forever.

Like you, I’ve been filling my head with everything I can find; reading books, papers, looking up web sites, etc. I just can’t know enough. I read it to know if I really have ADHD, and also to learn what to do about it. I’ve resisted the urge, so far, to regret my past or get emotional about it, but I get twinges of pain, anger, and regret now and then and it’s only a mater of time before it erupts. Actually, I did break into tears last week as I apologized to my wife for snapping at her while she was trying to help, but that could be a topic on its own. She’s been extraordinarily supportive. But now I’m drifting again…

Most of all, I want to thank all of you on this forum: Scattybird, toofat, quizzical, saffron, Shutterbug55, zsazsa, ashockley55 and so on, as well as Rick, Ava, Dr. Jain, Patrick and everyone else involved in this creating and maintaining this site.

Reading your posts, hearing your stories, getting your advice and sharing your experience has been the best part of my journey thus far. I only wish you were all closer. I wish we could get together and share these experiences over coffee (or beer, scotch, wine, whatever…). But the forum will do.

I worry sometimes about the journey getting harder, but I feel better knowing I am in good company.

-Cyclone

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I remember that film from when I was in high school. It reminded me of doing my homework. It was the only time my room ever got cleaned!

Wawabyjohnah: You’re not alone. Trouble getting started was what ultimately led me to a diagnosis. I’ve always had trouble with this, but it was really starting to get to me at work; particularly when I started a new role just over a year ago that required more “boring” stuff, but things others depended on me to deliver. I thought it was depression at first, but the symptoms weren’t consistent. Furthermore, it wasn’t really new, just more problematic. When I had a report to write I would just sit and stare at my screen, paralyzed, unable to start. If someone asked a question on the topic I could talk their ear off, but writing it out was another story.

I had suspected I had ADD in the past, mostly because of difficulty paying attention. It wasn’t until I watched “ADD and Loving It?!” that I learned it was also associated with procrastination and difficulties with organization, among other things. That documentary has saved my life (and my marriage). From one scene to the next it was like someone describing me, and my disordered life.

-Cyclone

(here’s the link to the video in case you have forgotten how to use Google 🙄 http://www.nfb.ca/film/getting_started/ )

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If you haven’t seen this movie, I guarantee you’ll love it.

Fox and Kylie eventually come up with a signal for Kylie to let Fox know he’s still with him. I started using the signal with my wife after seeing the movie (long before I suspected ADD). I couldn’t find the clip, but I found the script on line…

FOX

(ANGRILY)

We’re going to a book party! And keep

your mouth shut about any cider, because

no one ever said that! Get out of here!

ASH

But Dad —

FOX

But nothing! You’re going to get me in a

lot of trouble!

The three animals stand in silence for a minute. Fox points

to his tree. Ash turns and starts back home. Fox shakes his

head.

FOX

Where the cuss does that kid get off? Can

you believe that? How’d he get tipped

off? You think he’s going to tell on us?

Fox turns to Kylie. Kylie looks back at him vacantly.

FOX

Before we go any further, from now on can

you give me some kind of signal once in a

while just so I know any of this is

getting through to you?

Pause. Kylie makes a slight motion with his paw. Fox

hesitates.

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Hi Wawabyjonah,

Canada isn’t a whole lot better, at least in terms of finding a Psychiatrist. My doctor told be it would be 18 months! So I have to see a Psychologist for a formal diagnosis instead, which is only a 6 week wait but it isn’t covered by provincial healthcare (I’m still waiting to see if my insurance will cover it though).

That said, my doctor can still prescribe medication, so perhaps that’s a difference in Canada. Also, there’s been a major push to raise awareness of mental health issues in recent years, with a big annual campaign led by Bell Media, using the catch phrase “Let’s Talk”. The campaign culminates to a day of fundraising, where Bell applies long distance charges to mental health awareness and research.

My only complaint is that the campaign seems to be overwhelmingly focused on Depression, not other disorders (still hate that word). Maybe it could feature Rick and Patrick next year. It would certainly be more entertaining!

-Cyclone

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Hi kc5jck,

I like your suggestion on promoting understanding. This is the kind of thing I’m looking for.

Regarding the latter part, that’s really a question of HOW to go about it, which is a whole other matter. But I agree that shouting from the rooftop that you have ADHD may not be the best approach (although it might fit well with your hyperactivity ). After we gather enough positive reasons for doing it, the next question will be how to go about it. For another thread…

-Cyclone

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I thought I would kick this off myself with one of my own reasons…

Help other with ADD by setting an example.

Being open and honest about my own ADD might open the door for others to come forward. Painting an accurate picture of ADD and being open and honest about my condition opens the door for others to come forward or seek their own diagnosis and getting help.

After all, isn’t this what Rick and Ava did with this site? I’m sure there were plenty of reasons for Rick NOT to be open about his ADD.

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Hi Scattybird,

Here’s the new thread: http://totallyadd.com/forum/topic.php?id=2504. What I want is to answer exactly what you have asked here.

-Cyclone

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