[Cyclone]

Thanks Bill,

I suppose I should clarify that it was never my intent to blame anything on my conditions. As you suggest, I am much more interested in focusing on how to be a more effective member of the team.

But I think the label should help, not that it does. This is forward thinking, not an observation. That’s not to say toofat is wrong, it certainly could blow up in my face. And I’m not under the illusion that everyone sees ADD in a positive light. Or even knows what it is, for that matter. If I were under such an illusion, I would never have started this thread. What I’m really trying to work out is how to use the “label” in a positive manner.

I’m going to quit this thread and start a new one. After the initial post I realized that I hadn’t really posed the question right, and certainly didn’t use an appropriate title. I’ll add a link to the new thread after I’ve posted it, if anyone reading this one is interested.

toofat – I really do appreciate your feedback and you’re experience is valuable. But I want to look forward, not backward. I’ll make this clearer in the new thread.

Best regards,

Cyclone

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[Cyclone]

Dude, you take devil’s advocacy to a whole new level!

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[Cyclone]

What’s a good word for a personal quality that describes an ability to remain calm in chaos?

A word for “Ability to think on your feet”.

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[Cyclone]

Hi toofat,

I like where you’re going with this. I can very easily work these in as qualifiers for some of the existing items. This will certainly do for the short term.

Over the long term I’d still like to see some more dimensions added to the core competencies that everyone is judged on. It’s not only fair (let some of the Linears show weaknesses too), but I think it actually provides more valuable information to management. Not just on “performance”, but also when determining who is right for certain jobs.

I’d love to hear what others think as well.

-Cyclone

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[Cyclone]

RedSquirrel,

In < a href=”http://totallyadd.com/”>Totally ADD!< /a>, the tag is actually < a >, but it’s followed by the link it’s anchored to. ‘href’ is the hypertext reference or URL. You can use this to make a word link to a URL, rather than put the URL in directly.

Scattybird,

You got me. A cyclone is pretty much what it’s like to be inside my head and, as you discovered, it’s also what I do to others when I let it loose .

It has another meaning though, a cyclone, or vortex, is like an alternate, stable state of fluid motion. When a fluid is free to move without friction, it usually flows smoothly forward, following streamlines. But fluids have an alternate state, the vortex, which is equally free of friction and stable, but swirls with and against the flow.

The cyclone in my head is the same, just an alternate state of being in a world full of people who’s thoughts go with the flow.

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[Cyclone]

Hi mollymolly,

Do you mind telling us what you studied in college and where you wanted your education to take you? In addition, what is it you like doing? Do you have any hobbies, is there anything you’re passionate about? What is it that you can’t stop yourself from talking about when out with friends?

The best, and probably most consistent advice on finding a career is to look to what you love. Certainly the best job is one that you look forward to every day, because you’re passionate. As an ADDult you might also look for something that has continuous variety.

If it’s any consolation, everyone has diffuculty finding their career, and I can guarantee what you will end up doing, and loving, will be completely unexpected. I’m not diminishing your struggle by any means, but don’t look at your ADD as a disability. Having ADD adds additional (ADDitional ) challenges, but it also has it’s advantages. Knowing you have ADD will be a major help.

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[Cyclone]

I’m at Chapters. Just stopped to get a coffee at Starbucks and thought I would see what’s in the ADD section. I saw a book I thought I might like and figured I’d search iBooks on my iPhone to see if I can get a digital copy instead. Opening the iBooks Store I was surprised to see another book on ADD ready for me to download. I completely forgot I had bought it!

Impulsivity and forgetfulness aren’t the best bedfellows!

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[Cyclone]

What as riot! Good to know its not just me.

I’m always forgetting something when I leave the house in the morning; my keys, coffee, lunch, iPad. I think the only thing I remember consistently is my iPhone, which I couldn’t live without (besides the calendar, which is a lifesaver, I use an app called “Things” to keep me on track with everything). Sorry, I’m wandering.

Anyway, it’s so predictable that my wife and son ask each other (with me in earshot) “I wonder how long it will be before he comes back?”. When I walk back in the door there’s a chorus of “What did you forget this time Dad?”.

A few years back I used to take my son to the bus stop every morning before heading off to work. We live in Canada, so in the winter I would take this as an opportunity to warm up the car. After the third time I called my wife to come back from work with her car keys to let me back into my running car she banned me from warming it up! Of course I don’t listen, I just got smarter and made a point to remember to roll the window down before I walk away. Amazing that I can remember to do that, but I can’t remind myself to not lock the door.

I also used to travel a lot more, particularly to the US. I drove 4 hours to the US border at Detroit only to realize I’d forgot my passport. I had to drive all the way back home and back again, turning a 4 hour trip into a 12 hour one!

-Cyclone

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[Cyclone]

Ashockley55,

It takes a lot of courage to do what you have done. My only advice is to be patient with your manager, even if she’s a…. well, you know. And I’m not suggesting it’s easy. In time she may understand. I’d suggest pointing her to this site for more info, but she may read and recognize your posts. On the other hand, maybe it would reveal to her the difficulty you really face! Who knows.

With that said, I really hope you can get on with your writing and leave this behind you. You certainly have a gift for it.

-Cyclone

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[Cyclone]

Hi ZSimon,

Get a copy of “You mean I’m not lazy, stupid or crazy?”. It has a great section on relationships, among other things. It was from this book I learned that my behavior, just as yours, was related to ADD.

-Cyclone

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[Cyclone]

ZSimon,

I ruined many relationships when I was younger doing exactly what you describe. Eventually I got lucky and met a girl that liked the attention and we’ve been together ever since. I was your age at the time.

The fact that you recognize the behavior is a huge step forward. I really wish I had seen this in myself earlier. You can talk to her about it, or create reminders for yourself to give her space. On the other hand your intensity will never go away, so maybe it’s better to find out if she likes it? I must admit that when I was your age I wouldn’t have listened to any of this advice.

Maybe some of the women on the forum can give you better advice. Just know that your not alone.

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[Cyclone]

Some people have a really negative view of ADD, but that will never change if you don’t expose your gift. I can understand not wanting to bring this up in a job interview, since false impressions are all too easily made (assuming the interviewer looks at ADD in a negative light). But if your friends and colleagues recognize your gift, why not tell the where it comes from? Help them understand why you are extroardinary in some areas, yet weaker in others.

Look at the good Dr. Jain, Rick and Patrick have done with this site! I would never have accepted that I have ADD if it weren’t for them coming out in such grand form! That takes real courage.

To be honest, I used to look down on those who weren’t like me. I could figure things out quickly, draw connections to other seemingly unrelated things, remain calm under pressure and so on. I couldn’t understand why others couldn’t. Eventually I came to realize that I have a gift for these things just as others have an apparent gift for organization, etc. For Linears, as toofat calls them, the situation is reversed. They look at our difficiencies and ask why we can’t get organized, why do we procrastinate, and so on. They “put up” with our shortcomings just as we learn to “put up” with theirs.

Over time everyone learns to work together. But I think it would be better if we understood cognitive strengths and weaknesses better. Knowledge is power It takes a lot of courage to stand up for change. I think it’s time we all did so.

I want to be open about my ADD to educate my colleagues. I don’t want to change how I’m treated, I want to change the whole organization! Show them how doing a better job of recognizing cognitive strengths can lead to a better, more satisfying and productive workplace. Help them understand that tasks such as time tracking, and skills such as organization, should not be held on equal footing for everyone. Homogeneity doesn’t help anyone, so don’t judge us all the same or expect the same. There are no baseline behaviors or skills. I don’t expect everyone to be as creative as me.

Not that I’m a complete basket case in those other areas. I still need to do my part, just differently.

I have a son who has ADD. Whatever negative impressions may exist today, I don’t want them around when he’s an ADDdult. I would throw myself in front of bus to save his life, why should this be any different?

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[Cyclone]

shutterbug55, you asked:

“How would anyone knowing about a person’s ADD, improve life for that person? If you mess up, you miss a detail, miss a meeting, what ever it is at work that gets you the label of “Unreliable”. They write it off as a screw-up. If they could put a label on it?”

I take the opposite view. If I screw up, I screw up. If my colleages see I’m falling behind, I’d rather they know why and feel comfortable giving me a helpful nudge or reminder, rather than blame it on a moral failing.

I can improve, but I can’t change who I am.

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[Cyclone]

I’ll preface this with the fact I’m not worried about losing my job. It’s against the law for them to fire me over it, and if anything I think it helps. My shortcomings exist regardless of their knowledge, I figure it can only soften the blow.

I suppose it’s all relative. I’ve been with the same company for over ten years now and have earned a great deal of respect. It’s an international company and I’m known throughout by both our engineering staff and customers as a go to guy for difficult problems. I earned this reputation early on, which is probably why I’ve managed to stay at the same place for so long. I’m constantly interested and I love the challenge and variety.

However, I started a new role in the past year which, for the most part, is even better suited to my talents. Unfortunately it also requires me to be more organized and process oriented. It’s like being in ADD heaven and hell all at once. This is what actually led to my diagnosis. I’ve always had poor organization and time management, but it never mattered so much until now. This led to great frustration and initially I thought it was depression. After seeing “ADD and Loving it!?” everything fell into place and I immediately sought help.

I had my annual performance yesterday. There was the usual praise for the things I do well and an acknowledgement of the things I need to improve on. The whole thing, including my coworkers comments, aligned perfectly with the output of the Virtual Doctor on this site!

Anyway, I decided at that point to tell my manager (Resisting impulse has never been my strong point . Not as an excuse for my shortcomings, but rather as a explanation of why these areas are more challenging for me. I also told him that knowing why I’m this way has helped tremendously. His reaction… he asked if there was anything that management could do to help. It was a huge relief. I didn’t know what to suggest, though I joked that he could start by eliminating my time sheets (they’re never accuarate anyway and cause me more grief than good). I did suggest this means he should not hesitate to remind me when I’m falling behind on something. I have to come up with my goals plan for the next year, so I’m trying to think of how to work this in.

I also told another colleague I work very closely with. He and I are responsible for keeping our project on track. The irony is I’m pretty sure he has ADD too, so it’s like the blind leading the blind! Worse still, I was assigned to this project in the hopes I would help keep him in line!!! Anyway, as I told him about my diagnosis and the difficulties he’s been having, his fist question was “How do find out and get help?”. He and both recognized that we are very alike, both in our creativity and non-linear thought. We have also struggled, together, to keep our project on track. In fact, being that we’re both blind, so to speak, we have actually done a better job together than we otherwise would. I think we intuitively understood how WE need to make things work. I’ve also been more aware of my shortcomings recently and made a greater effort to make up for them.

This colleague and I taked for an hour or so on the topic (all while not getting work done, but I digress). We talked obout our histories, our difficulties at school and how we overcame them (and our shame in our shortcomings). We both have advanced degrees, he has a Ph.D and I have a Masters in Engineering and an MBA. The company we work for is full of people with similar advanced degrees (the minimum requirement for most positions is a Master’s). From what I’ve read about ADD, there are actually a larger proportion of ADDults attracted to engineering and software development and more of these are attracted to creative companies like ours. So there are probably many more of us out there.

So back to the topic. My experience thus far has been good. My manager is understanding and I’ve helped a colleague. My guess is that coming out, particularly given my high profile and respect, might be a good thing for the company. As I said in my original post, we need to work as a team and the best way to do that is to be honest about what we’re good at. Web sites like this one also help, as it portrays ADD in such a positive light.

Sorry for the rant, but this is really cathartic. I may sound sure, but my mind is racing and jumping between whether this is good or bad. The impulsive part of me wants to just do it and deal with the consequences as they come. Maybe it’s my love of chaos! The feeling reminds me of white water kayaking (which I love) and the feeling I get at the top of a big rapid. Every bone in my body says don’t do it, but I know if I just push myself into the current there is turning back, and in the end it all works out and I love the experience.

Argh! What am I getting myself into??!!!

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[Cyclone]

A steady stream of coffee throughout the day, sweets in the afternoon, and a glass or two of scotch or red wine in the evening. Hmmm, still sounds pretty good, but I must admit I don’t crave any of it now that I’m on Meds.

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