[MarieAngell]

It’s a tough situation, I know. I live in a big city and it’s still been hard to find therapists and doctors who really understand ADHD. My son is actually with a therapist who used to treat a lot of veterans for PTSD and she talks about the similarities between ADHD and PTSD.

Being undiagnosed or wrongly diagnosed takes its toll. Try to use the resources you can access. If you can’t get a prescription for ADHD meds, I’m not necessarily encouraging you to use caffeine, but it can have a positive impact on some people (not in the late afternoon/evening if you can help it though). Eating properly with lots of lean protein can help (not always easy on a budget, but we all do what we can).

The internet is full of helpful info. There’s lots of good info on this site and Dr. Ed Hallowell has some good stuff at http://www.drhallowell.com/

You can’t change everything about yourself all at once, even with meds and all the other stuff. My strategy has been to concentrate on one thing and try to fix it, either through developing a habit . At one point, I put a rubber band around my wrist and snapped it to stop my cycle of anxious thoughts. It wasn’t perfect but it helped. I have a very cheap (and ugly) sports watch I set to beep on the hour and has a timer/stopwatch to remind me when to leave for appointments.

Baby steps, baby steps, but don’t give up on yourself.

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[MarieAngell]

Don’t lose hope! I’m not a doctor, but I know you’re not “retarded.” It’s difficult not to feel low when you have to deal with what sounds like a cold and possibly ill-informed doctor. Please don’t think of yourself as stupid or beyond help.

Are you able to change to a doctor who knows more about ADHD and learning disabilities, someone you might be able to trust to give you a diagnosis you feel is a fair assessment?

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[MarieAngell]

@Megan,  I know exactly what you mean about not being heard. And all the “toughening up” talks are useless.  Being effectively assertive takes learning some techniques and practice.

I learned a lot from watching other people who were good at it in the way I wanted to be. I also discovered I could be assertive on behalf of other people (especially my kids) and that gave me some confidence about doing it for myself. Enlisting a supportive friend  helped me, too. Not necessarily even to speak up for me if I faltered (although I loved it when I had the right person), but just for moral support, to shadow me.

It’s like a lot of things, I think you have to build up something of a muscle for it. Over the course of time, I’d stand up for myself once, then fail 4 or 5 times. Over and over.

I feel for you, Megan. I’m not going to kid you–it took a number of years. It was painful to follow that learning curve, but not as painful as getting walked on. That was my motivation.

 

 

 

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[MarieAngell]

@Larynxa, that’s a fine career for that wacky guy in the video, but I think I’d get bored with it. 😉

I absolutely agree, for many people with ADD accounting is a terrible fit and definitely should not be undertaken simply for attractive compensation. That way lies train wreck. But accounting is a varied field with a lot of different kinds  jobs. Some ADDers do well if they really know  their strengths and compensate for deficiencies going in.

Sounds like @MRMcKay has sorted out a lot of that, which is an advantage over 18 years olds trying to decide their next move. Building a new career while juggling family financial responsibilities is a different kind of fun!

Heck yeah, talking to people in the field is critical. Professors can be a good source as well for both career info and for getting a feel for what your course load and schedule would be.

MRMcKay, you’ve given this a lot of thought  and beat me to the punch on some things I would have asked. I’m presuming you know something of what the required education would cost you and starting salaries in the field. It’s almost certainly true that getting a degree in accounting should open doors in another field if it turns out accounting doesn’t suit you.

That leads me to concern about the stress and strict time management you’ll need to work and go to school. Accounting has a rigorous curriculum. Is your wife and family on board with your plan and willing to make some sacrifices along with you?

Assuming your self assessment is accurate and based on your situation, I wonder: Is the biggest gamble the process of acquiring the education?

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[MarieAngell]

@MRMcKay, to drone on further, you mentioned teaching. Have you considered a career in training? Every field has a training staff. I don’t know if it’s different in Australia, but here in the U.S., it doesn’t necessarily require the years of field experience one might expect (though a degree is required). I did some of that after only a year or so of working in accounting.

Also, do you think you would be interested in a career as a job recruiter? I did a bit of that and it can be a good fit for an ADDer who is good with people. I know an Australian recruiter if you want to chat with her.

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[MarieAngell]

Well, @MRMcKay, you’ve come a long way in sorting this out. I suppose it’s always tough, but being well into adulthood with a lot of responsibilities adds a little something extra. At least you know something of what you like and don’t.

Hard not to feel a twinge at Rick et al. I’m a performer myself, but it’s a tough row to hoe to make a living. I know what you mean as well about situations like nurses with doctors. At one point I considered some medical careers and I had that same sense as well. Nurse practitioners and physician assistants have a little less of that since they have more autonomy, but a steep education curve.

Being comfortable talking to people is a great attribute. A lot of people dislike doing that. While not all accountants are stuffed shirts, it’s true many are not so adept on the people side and they appreciate people who are comfortable at dealing with clients.

Have you had a chance to talk to many people in accounting or counselors at university? Is your wife on board with the plan to work and go to school?

Do you think you have any bent toward being an entrepreneur? Just wondering if you could start something on the side to supplement your income while you’re pondering. If you’re good with kids and/or organizing, sometimes there are opportunities there. People will pay to have certain problems solved, that’s for sure.

Have you met anybody with ADD who’s happy in what they do (I mean, at a real job, working for The Man)? I know people who I’m sure have ADD (they don’t seem to know) who like their work, but I don’t know anyone who admits to ADD who does (very small sample size though).  Speak up, people!

I hear you about wanting to prove yourself successful and improve the world. I feel that so strongly and can’t for the life of me figure out how to do it.

 

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[MarieAngell]

@Megan, glad it worked out OK for you. Yeah, sometimes being an asshole comes in handy. I hate those moments when I’ve done something against my best interests, but I’ve learned a few douchebag tricks over the years.  You can too. 😉

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[MarieAngell]

@robbo, dutifully chastised!

That said, however, it’s a bit of a pickle then how to answer when the question is if antidepressants can affect memory.

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[MarieAngell]

@zaidyma, oh, I suffer from this, as well as a couple of other annoying traits.

One technique I’m trying with some success I learned from my husband, who has the ability to go to meetings and just sit there listening, only speaking up occasionally, then usually with a question (an insightful question, darn it!). When he gives his opinion, it’s really meaningful. He is a great collaborator at work, probably not coincidentally. He does speak up if the meeting goes too far afield, though.

Have you tried that? <I’m practicing>

 

 

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[MarieAngell]

This is something I’ve observed as well. There is a fair amount of research on this subject if you Google things like: serotonin reuptake inhibitors working memory cognitive impairment.

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[MarieAngell]

@shutterbug55, I’ve practiced some of your method over the last couple of years. I find it a little too aggravating to have to think so hard about everything, but it helps me to transition to practicing more mindfulness, which is very helpful.

It would seem that neuroplasticity surely can come to our aid to some degree.  Would love to hear Dr. Jain’s thoughts.

 

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[MarieAngell]

Bonnie Mincu does seem to me to be among the better coaches in ADHD right now. I read her blog regularly. I haven’t taken any of her seminars yet.

What was happening in your life that motivated you to sign up for the webinars? Were things particularly bad or were you improving and needing a boost?

 

 

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[MarieAngell]

Glad you’re less comfused today. Wish I were. Ah, well. It is our natural state, is it not?

The silent mocking–I hear it too. Alas, sometimes it actually happens and I miss it. That’s pretty confusing as well.

Lighten up is generally good advice. Thanks for reminding us.

 

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[MarieAngell]

@Larynxa, excellent demo! I was just about to ask you how it went. Clearly, it went very well. It would seem that you’ll be getting loads of work in short order.

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[MarieAngell]

I take 5 mg of Focalin XR once a day. I don’t know the cost, although I’m about to find out because I’ve shifted to a deductible-based insurance too (yuck). When needed, I take a 2.5 mg “Focalin” (non-XR), which is generic and pretty cheap, I think. I experimented with 10 mg “Focalin” (non-XR generic) and it gave me a lot of dry mouth and some jittery hyper feeling.

Stimulants may not be for you, but there are a lot of differences between each type. Having experimented with both the XR and non-XR versions of Focalin (also tried Vyvanse), for me there was a big improvement with the XR.

I haven’t tried Concerta, but if you can get a discount, I’d say give it a whirl.

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