[munchkin]

I was wondering if anyone was going to bring that up – then it’s not just me? Is that movie an exaggerated vision of what we’re going through, or am I just projecting? Blew my mind 😆

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[munchkin]

I’ve read a couple of great novels, but my house is a mess… Honestly, I suspect it is doing what it’s supposed to do… I just haven’t figured out how to harness it… I have to jump into some projects that matter, not use the concerta to watch tv better, right?

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[munchkin]

Me too!

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[munchkin]

Yeah! Fluoxetine – Also an SSRI like Celexa – maybe since you’re off it, you’ll gradually get more “edge” back… I’m no expert, but I see some hope there! Something to ask your doc about? Hang in there! You too Quiz – I’m having one of those days myself – hiding in my room with my friend the computer…

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[munchkin]

Cleverest mistake I made: Ran myself over with my own car! How is this possible? Had a starter problem, wired it so I could manually touch a wire to another wire under the hood to start the car (with help from a well meaning relative). Problem is, I would accidentally leave the car in gear when I turned it off!!! The first time it happened, I left it in reverse – when I went to turn the car on (standing in front of the car with the hood up) it started driving away from me, and through some miracle, there were no cars directly in its path and I caught up with it, jumped in, and braked. Second time – left it in drive – turned the car on (standing in front of the hood) got knocked down and pinned against the cement block at the front of the parking spot. By some miracle (low powered compact car) I managed to wriggle out, the car didn’t jump the block, and I could jump in and put it into park. Final result, I’m not dead 😆 prob’ly should be though… Really, though – takes talent to almost kill yourself that way – gotta give me credit for that 😆

Don’t worry – I destroyed the car in an accident a short time later – survived that too.

By the way – driving on Concerta is like… amazing! Sooooo safe! I had no idea driving could be so easy – who woulda thunk it???

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[munchkin]

Tiddler – a lightbulb just went off for me… I experienced something like what you’re talking about when I was on Celexa. I was taking it for fibro-myalgia and anxiety, and I kept going on higher and higher doses over about a 5 year period. It didn’t do a thing for my forgetfulness, but it worked pretty well for anxiety. Problem is, I just got so apathetic. My Mom said – you’ve never been this nice in your life 😆 , but my husband was like – you have no emotions, you don’t care about anything or what happens… I would forget things, lose things, screw things up bad, and just be like – whatever… It took a long time to finally decide to go off it just to see what my normal mind state would be. (I had been “self medicating” for years prior, so really didn’t know what “normal” was for me) It took forever to get off of it – I had to go super slow because the side effects were so bad, but eventually I got my emotions (and libido) back. Now I’m back to my prickly, sassy, worrisome self, and I don’t think I would have figured out this whole ADD thing if I hadn’t chosen to go off Celexa. I still need to deal with the anxiety piece, but – – baby steps, right? Anyway, I just thought I’d share that in case it rings any bells for you…

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[munchkin]

I’ve been on Concerta 54mg for about 2 months – I noticed a few weeks ago, it didn’t seem like it was really working anymore… I can feel that I’m on it, so I know it’s having some effect, but not like it was in the first few weeks… I’m back to not getting stuff done. I’m trying to decide what that means…

First Theory: I need a higher dose, or different brand of methylphenidate…

Second Theory: The novelty has worn off, and I’m not doing anything concrete to improve myself, therefore, that push of motivation I had at first was not the medication – it was the stimulating factor of being able to stay focused when I want to, and experimenting with that a bit. Problem is – what do I actually want to do? It’s been so long since I’ve been able to choose, plan and actually complete anything, I gave up and just did things on a crisis basis. I didn’t proactively plan anymore – not sure I remember how…

Third Theory: I’m on the wrong medication – I haven’t tried Dexadrine, which is a different type of stimulant, and works better for some…

I have been trying to just wait it out a bit and see what’s me, ADD, or Concerta, but meanwhile, I’m more or less back to the whole crisis based lifestyle which is a big distraction from trying to learn and develop a better lifestyle. I’m going to have to bite the bullet and share this stuff with my psychiatrist. I feel intimidated like I will be put into doubt by what he says, or pressured to do something medication-wise that I’m not comfortable with… eek!

Can anyone share who has been through this and got to the other side? I know everyone’s different, but I’m curious

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[munchkin]

Denying people access – that requires a strong sense of self, and courage that one has made the right decision. Fear of isolation gets in the way of that for me. It’s a lifetime’s work to find that kind of confidence, but worth the effort… whoa, heavy stuff!

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[munchkin]

As a kid I used to get to school and mysteriously not have my lunchbox – I forgot it was in my hand and just dropped it on the ground along the way. This happened quite a few times! I definitely will start thinking/talking about something and lose consciousness of everything else – miss my exit on the freeway, miss my stop on the train, trip & fall, fail to realize I’m boring the other person to death… 😆

I do think there may be 2 different things being described, though – because I also just stand there when I’m supposed to be picking out which kind of cheese to buy, and just zone out on nothing! It’s like, I get exhausted with trying to make a decision and my mind just checks out for a minute or two – taking a rest?? Anyway, people sure do look at me funny sometimes when that happens… As far as I know, I don’t get distracted or hyperfocus on anything, I just go into a meditative type state… weird!

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[munchkin]

There are things I truly do agree people should expect, then there are things I think would be nice, but not worth kicking myself about right now. So, with some things, I have to admit I can have a bit of an attitude. It can just be soul crushingly difficult to concentrate on improving things that seem a bit trivial and keep apologizing and feeling guilty on a daily basis. If I don’t limit what I’m trying to improve on, the guilt and failure of trying to make other people happy will crush my ability to make any progress at all-or so I fear… I am in a vulnerable spot! I admit I have a bad habit of verbally lashing others for “sweating the small stuff” and/or accusing people of picking on me unfairly. Well, folks, sometimes what I consider “the small stuff” is pretty important to others, and they don’t appreciate my attitude… I understand where they’re coming from, but I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place. I just hope I can keep from alienating the ones I love – once again… Am I wimping out by trying to take things one step at a time? Should I be trying a lot harder to “suck it up” when people criticize? Hopefully, I just need to keep on the medication/re-tooling my lifestyle path and things will get better soon… Yes, I’m trying to get counseling – hoping the new guy I’m seeing this week will be good… I just thought I would share these feelings, venting a bit – I suspect I’m not alone in what I’m going through… I know things can get better

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[munchkin]

Whoa Bill – I have very low blood pressure too, and the cholesterol that’s supposed to be high is too low… I feel like this has to relate to the brain somehow. I don’t bother talking to doc’s about this – they think low blood pressure is not a problem unless it’s making you faint. I used to wake up every morning and not be able to walk for the first 30 seconds or so – when I was a kid. My legs would buckle and I’d fall down. I used to get all kinds of sighs and eye rolls about this- quit the drama! It was weird, but it went away as I got older. Also, some kids with Autism are given cholesterol supplements, I want to try to figure out what that’s all about, does it relate to ADD? Tiddler, if anxiety gives you that rush of urgency that makes your brain function better, that could explain what your talking about. Still, it seems like a high price to pay. Hopefully you can find the right meds to function well, AND be able to relax. Carrie’s posts are interesting and talk about different meds she’s tried and what the effects feel like.

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[munchkin]

What you hear is what makes you unique and special. To dance another’s dance that you can’t hear is like going to an Indian restaurant and thinking that’s the same thing as going to India. You would be untrue to yourself and the others you would seek to please. There must be an honest way to coexist where you remain true to yourself, and honor others without having to pretend. People have a habit of thinking everyone thinks just like they do. People who are different sometimes end up with the burden of shaking up the naive normal people’s realities, which, as it turns out, is doing them a favor often times. If you can get someone to question their assumptions in a way that is enjoyable for them, you open their mind to a richer life experience and create a positive association with seeing things from different perspectives. Knowing how to interact, being an outsider, yet having a positive effect on people, making your differences a benefit and not a liability – that is the trick. If only I knew how other people think, maybe I could pull it off more often… I don’t know… does that make any sense?

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[munchkin]

Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=wF1YRE8ff1g

Disclaimer: Russell Barkley is adamant that ADD is curse, not gift. I know that rubs some people the wrong way, and I find it a bit disconcerting to hear at times. However, he is very knowledgable in his field, and I think he is trying to push for funding and research which typically does not get done to cure gifts… therefore, he makes the point that it’s a curse. Anyway – any veiws expressed are his not mine, but he has some good scientific information about how ADD might be operating in our brains… hope you find it interesting…

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[munchkin]

@Tiddler: I do believe there is a theory out there that the anxiety does temporarily produce the chemistry that makes the executive function work better, and also that coffee is woefully inadequate to the task. (Check out Dr. Russell Barkley for more info) Stimulant medication has helped a lot for me, but it still doesn’t replace that good old panic of when the task is overdue and it’s crunch time… I’m hoping that by being on medication over a period of time, I will learn to coordinate my tasks and organize my stuff in a way that reduces the opportunities for losing my husband’s debit card… been there, done that! I need to have progress in more than one area of life, so things can gradually begin to smooth out for me. One of the most useful video’s I’ve found is the one listed under “Sponsored Videos” called “Holistic Treatment Approach.” I suggest you check that one out, I keep going back to it over and over. @zsazsa and kc5jck: I found that once I finally had the definitive diagnosis of ADD, the wind went out of my sails like I think you both described. The rationales that I had been using pre-diagnosis to make the best of my abilities got blown out of the water and I was shocked that I temporarily lost ground. This has really pissed me off, and I have rebounded and tried to re-start the strategies that were working if possible and try out new things that other ADD’ers are suggesting. I refuse to take the backwards progress to heart, and am giving myself a lot of pep talks to treat each day as a new start and give myself time to process this new information about ADD.

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[munchkin]

YES. You said it! In a certain way I feel worse than ever because I have this fantastic breakthrough, but for the most part, I have to suck it up and keep it to myself. I’ve even made up vague excuses for why I’m doing better since the meds, so I don’t have to hear the skeptics. “I’ve been so much healthier lately…must be the new exercise program” (right, what exercise program??? haha) This website is where I come to soothe the rising frustration. Wolfshades, you’re hilarious…bicycle… 😆

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