[munchkin]

Thanks Bill – hugs to you too – scary stuff when you’re dealing with a heart problem. I’ve had such bad insomnia all my life and I know how hard it can be with sleep issues. I love who I am, so if anyone can see ADD as a blessing, I’m happy for them, but I do get it about what a liability it can be – I’ve been successful at times when my strengths were valued, and at other times, lived in my car. No matter what, I’m glad to have confirmed what I always knew – I’m not lazy – I’m different and if people can just back off and let me find my way, I can accomplish all the same things – and maybe more! Ha!

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[munchkin]

Feeling your pain Sherri, just started meds and hearing comments of, if I’m not suddenly fixed then obviously I’m just always going to be “this way”. I’m trying to get into counseling with the right person. I consider myself to be extremely optimistic, resilient and have done my best to find creative ways to get things done and politely thank the people for their totally un-useful but well meaning advice. Still – – my view of myself and others has been very confused and distorted by not being aware of my ADD and thinking that other people were screwed up for having such absurd rules and expectations.(Just because I can now focus doesn’t mean I can agree with anyone on what I should be focusing on!) I’m hoping that I can start on a new journey where I can re-evaluate my life story and forgive and be able to coexist with the non-ADD world in a more mutually respectful way It helps to hear from others – nice not to feel so alone 🙄

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[munchkin]

What a social experiment this forum can be – – sometimes I wonder if we are guinea pigs to see how ADD people will interact with each other. I have loved the respectful debates, and the warm acceptance of people struggling on all different levels from basic functionality to dealing with the corporate work world. When negativity has shown up here it has been tough because we are all entitled to our feelings but not everyone’s mind is a “safe neighborhood.” A forum is no substitute for therapy, and having ones needs go unadressed will make some people lash out. I have thought about saying something about what people should or shouldn’t be focusing on (hyperfocusing on?), yet I stopped and thought, who am I to say what’s right or wrong for someone else… But to see the people whose words I look forward to reading, that keep me hopeful, disappearing from our beloved forum, is so sad and disappointing. I suppose we can only vote by not writing on threads that contain negativity so they will drop out of sight, and reviving the ones that contain gems about issues that new members are asking about by adding new comments to those. Too Fat, thank you so much for having the courage to come back and be real about what’s going on. I love how you have adapted to ADD and your experiences and point of view are like a breath of fresh air to me – in a lifetime of saying, “oh yes I can!” and having to believe in myself when nobody else would, it is priceless to be able to hear from other people with your kind of resilient attitude. I hope we’ll see our friends posting again, and I hope you won’t give up on this forum – others are reading your posts and laughing with their spouse too – hang in there, we need you It’s nice to see you in the magic mirror today I feel my mood lifiting like I’m walking on those romper stomper thingies!

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[munchkin]

Thanks, meds are amazing, amazing effect on work, home, personal life already. It’s such a great feeling to start an activity with confidence that I can stay on it to completion. Still – just so confused about all the strange ways I was interpreting my problems over the years. I stopped my thyroid meds cold turkey when I ran out of refills and made myself sick. I’m still not sure if I ever needed them, but I’m back on them and will try to go off more slowly. Hopefully just a minor setback. My marriage is hanging by a thread, and I’m so sensitive about any criticism, and being told I’m playing the “ADD card.” There are some things I need to work on that will take time,and I’m impatient and past resentments get in the way of progress. Getting the diagnosis was so important though, and I have no regrets. I needed to know, and if I can just keep my emotions in check, I can make real progress – I’ve felt so stuck for so long. I’m so thankful to this site and community. It’s life changing. I hope lots more people who need it will find this I wonder on average how many doc’s people had to go to in order to get from start to finish in getting a diagnosis? I was expressing these issues to at least 7 docs before finding the right doc – #8 (referred by doc #7). It wasn’t until this site and knowing the right questions to ask that I finally started getting somewhere. Yay!

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[munchkin]

It was super hard to go looking for another doc. I gave up in frustration for a bit, but my hubby got on my case because he was so sure I didn’t really have ADD but decided I was going to be in a super bad mood until it was confirmed one way or the other. I got 2 referrals from our marriage counselor for “real” add knowledgable docs. Made first appt, found out my insurance wouldn’t pay, totally got upset, cancelled the appt, made the 2nd appt, and finally got through an assessment. (prolonged by an entire extra week due to leaving the filled out assessment questionaires sitting on my desk at work before driving 30 minutes to another town to get to that total waste of an appt)

Finally, yes, absolutely ADD, referral to Psychiatrist, prescription for meds, beginnings of results after about 6 wks on Concerta!!! Yes folks, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it was an emotional roller coaster for me due to how much my self esteem and marriage was riding on the outcome. I think the most difficult thing is not knowing how long the process will be, and therefore, it is so difficult to pace yourself emotionally and manage your expectations.

I am so relieved to be through that process and so grateful to have found a new direction for improvement that’s actually seeming to have results. I’m still so sceptical that somehow it will all just be some awful joke on me, and not make any difference in the end. I guess that’s just my past experience trying to drag me down. Seriously though, I have been able to function better in ways I am only just noticing. Things I didn’t even know I was screwing up, and now that they are happening better I realize – wow there’s another thing that was making things hard! (Like driving my car without people honking at me because my blinker was on for the last 20 miles – wow it’s so peaceful and I can enjoy the song on the radio) This story has only just begun… much more work to be done.

Good luck to all that are trying to get thru diagnosis – I hope you can get some progress in your life too DON’T GIVE UP!!

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[munchkin]

I got an iphone through work, and it’s become indespensible. It’s the whole idea that it stays with me as I walk around or go anywhere, and continually yells at me and gets me back to my timeline for the day – no matter how many times I super-focus on things with my non-existent sense of time. I could never afford to have it if my job didn’t provide it, so that’s really a special situation that not everyone can take advantage of. Now if I can just keep from losing it, keep the battery charged and avoid leaving it on silent mode, I’ll be golden

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[munchkin]

vtechjay – I’m excited for you – I’m not in L.A., but here’s a link that might be a good starting point:

http://www.lapl.org/literacy/main.html

Good Luck, and let us know how it goes!

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[munchkin]

I guess how much energy you put into making a certain type of “first impression” is all about what you are hoping to achieve with that. You have to do that math for yourself as an individual. I think sometimes, when trying to package yourself too much, the downside is that you obscure who you really are, which prevents you from attracting the opportunities that would actually fit for you and truly make you happy. You sure are right about wisdom! Knowledge is simply information, it’s wisdom that allows you to apply that knowledge to get a result. It’s wisdom that allows you to figure out what result would truly make a difference for your happiness and well being. Trying to fit myself to a particular job is something I’ve done out of desperation, not by choice, and sooner or later the facade always wears away, and it’s time to move on to a new game… exhausting really… To be an entrepreneur, if you have it in you, now that’s putting creativity and vision to great use!!!

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[munchkin]

Taking accountability wins points – professional way of saying it: Data was lost, had to re-create information, or something like that?

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[munchkin]

For me, I think it got hard wired as a small child – did something go wrong? Munchkin must’ve done or not done it… I’m always hypervigilant, ready to do damage control for whatever it is that I’m about to realize I’ve screwed up- side effect: self esteem crushing feeling of constantly falling short of expectations. I’m hoping now that I have this actual diagnosis of ADD and new found meds, I’ll be able to set more realistic expectations with people, and be more conscious of my strengths and weaknesses. Hopefully then I won’t be having so many of these horrible “oh $#!*” moments all the time that keep this whole cycle going. One thing I try to do is stop feeling bad all the time – especially when I haven’t done anything wrong. I have to consciously take time to look at what I’ve done right today – at the end of the day, think about what went right and feel good about that. If I don’t do that, I will slip back into “I’m a bad person” thing really quickly…

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[munchkin]

What do you think about this? All the stuff that’s piled up on my desk, not getting done is all the stuff that needs a decision. The stuff where I just need to do a task, I work on all day happily. The decision pile – I get the willies just looking at it…

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[munchkin]

Me 2 – housework done – 1st time ever – thank you 2 wks on Concerta. Hmm I think half those boxes in the garage are notebooks and journals wi about 3 pages used… Get rid of those and maybe I can even get my car in!! Mind blowing is right you guys

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[munchkin]

I know every situation is unique, but from extensive personal experience, and what many other women have shared with me, your husband probably needs help from someone other than you. He has to believe he needs help. As long as you continue providing support to him, while he is engaging in self destructive behavior, you are helping him stay sick. You are in a heart wrenching situation, and you may want to seek out the support of other women who have gone through this. A counselor, clergy person can point you in the right direction depending on your situation. You are not alone, you are not the first person to ever go through a situation like this. This is not your fault, and it is not your responsibility to fix, no matter how much you would be willing to sacrifice to fix it. Please seek out help with your situation – there is wonderful help out there, and you can get to the other side of this, but it’s a challenging road. My heart goes out to you Lee.

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[munchkin]

The greatest thing in the world would be to just naturally be marketable without having to change anything about who you are. I held out as long as I could – beleeeeve me! But, alas, starving, homeless and to unable to make it to gigs reliably anymore, I had to be dragged kicking and screaming by a fellow musician to the restaurant job for a meal and a paycheck. No diagnosis, no disability – just insults thrown my way, self esteem crushed, and total devastation. I didn’t believe I could be rehabilitated, but somehow I managed to make it to the lowest rung and find other survivors to huddle with. I tried to make my own rules, but unfortunately the physics of concrete, rainstorms and arrest warrants had another thing coming. Without the kindness of other people who had survived before me, I wouldn’t be here, or be the success I am today. (Other undiagnosed ADD’ers who found whatever bizarre ways to cope?) I think this website is an example of social evolution – I wouldn’t have gotten help for ADD any other way… Keep evolving Filmbuff

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[munchkin]

I think the “first impression” is unconscious for people – a product of their upbringing and experience. Maybe they’ve never run into anyone like you, so they stick you into a funky box… It is actually possible to learn the basic boxes people use and fit yourself to the box that will be more likely to get you what you want – there’s something yicky about it, but if that’s what you have to do to put a roof over your head, that’s what you’ve got to do. I agree it’s exhausting!

I can tell you – I don’t have very good boundaries or impulse control. I make a spectacle out of myself without even realizing it, and tell strangers way too much personal stuff. Perhaps if I had a better natural sense of what are normal social expecations and how I’m coming off to others, there wouldn’t be this whole issue of judging who I am as a person. I could be shallow with the shallow people and deep with my “real” friends without even being conscious of it. No energy expended… How does an ADD’er improve in this area? interesting thought…

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