[powcat]

I’ve had a horrible time trying my best to establish any kind of sleeping routine for the past, like, 8 years. who knew, but a stimulant might have been the answer?!

things are still being worked out, but for the last couple of weeks, since I started Concerta, sleep has definitely been more regular – and nocturnal. I used to HAVE to take a nap almost every day. now, I wake up pretty quickly if I take the meds as soon as I get up, and they keep me going until the evening. by 10pm I am pretty sleepy and by midnight I am in bed and I sleep all the way through the night!

the last few nights have been different, unfortunately, because there’s a lot of emotional-type changes happening at the moment which have caused me to nap again, which have, in turn, caused me to stay up late doing nothing. but I’m giving this dosage a few more days. wish me luck.

PS: a note on exercise: if you are a procrastinator and don’t enjoy exercise, it is next to impossible to start! I find it really difficult to go out of my way to exercise and haven’t done it in at least 2 years, even though every doctor has suggested it would help me sleep better. stimulants might help with this, too. double-whammy. better sleep…

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[powcat]

oh man, tough! tough to read about, too. I hate that all you guys are going through this same shitty stuff. starting is the hardest part of ANYthing! once I start, I’m usually okay and keep going until I’m distracted by another task or interruption. but wow. mental energy; no one can tell me that it’s merely a queston of willpower. I mean, this is why all of us here are big caffeine junkies, am I right?

TIM: nice explanation, makes lots of sense. how did that grad school app go??

PICKY PARENT and BILLD: I hate the phone too! especially with people I don’t know, like to make appointments or deal with some issue or other. pretty much never do it until it’s an emergency.

SNAZZY SPAZ: good name, first of all! and very good advice, too. I theoretically know that breaking tasks down will make a difference, but tend to forget to apply this in actuality. it’s definitely true that washing 3-6 dishes at a time (I set a specific number before starting) clears the sink much faster than procrastinating for weeks, literally, to get the mountain all done in one go. (effing dishes!! the worst!)

SHOOSH: laziness is rare! all of us here are struggling with guilt and shame and anxiety. try not to be so hard on yourself….

good luck everybody. and my advice would be to stay away from this FLYLADY business. I took one look at that site and kind of freaked out and that was that. honestly, who wants to spend any chunk of their day cleaning their kitchen sink…?

oh yeah, and I am procrastinating as we speak. or, write/read. okay.

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[powcat]

mannyc:

I’m curious to read about how you are doing now!

I also just wanted to say how happy I am that there are ADHD folks out there getting off drugs and getting their lives together. since being diagnosed very recently, it dawned on me that my older brother has very likely been struggling with the same condition. he was always very creative, smart and curious – but horrible at school and easily bored with most kinds of work. over the years, I have watched him get scolded for daydreaming, for being too “lazy” or sleeping in every day.

I believe that the self-esteem he’s undoubtedly lost during that time added to the constant stress that was present in our family life is what drove him to cut school and experiment with drugs. he was using heroin for about 6 years. he is 32 now, and though he’s been technically off drugs for a few years, he’s stuck in jail for something dumb (made more serious by an extensive criminal record), and if he weren’t, he would still be abusing things like alcohol over-the-counter pills.

he’s not only depressed but his entire personality has changed. he can’t hold a conversation, he can’t be there for me in any way; once he almost hit me, actually. I miss having my older brother; he is the only sibling I’ll ever have.

I really went off on an unexpected tangent here. I just deeply hope that more parents, caretakers, and educators start to recognize the signs of ADHD. and more than that; I hope that we can focus on encouraging children’s strengths instead of judging and shaming them for their differences. I’ll bet there are many other tragic stories out there like my brother’s and they can be prevented.

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[powcat]

oh, everybody. these are great… though some are dangerous!

I myself have had a couple of “floods” and burnt some pots and kettles. and I’ve ruined so much toast it could probably feed a small indigenous island (why I don’t even attempt grilled cheese anymore).

has anybody left their keys in the front door overnight?

how about putting an electric kettle on the burner at a friend’s house. that was highly embarrassing… at least I righted my wrong before turning on the stove!

tips for everyone: move to a safe neighbourhood. and don’t drive.

PS: someone needs to start a blog with all this stuff. cheers.

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[powcat]

ADHDplus, I’m the same way about choosing what to eat; especially breakfast. I have to have something pre-decided or else I eat nothing and an hour later I could go back to bed.

also, I can’t really handle any spicy food! but I like the idea of horseradish and banana peppers.

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[powcat]

doubleplanet: some very wise words there, thank you.

I got fired once from a retail job and one of the reasons was that I apparently have “a weird sense of humour”.

another time I totally told my boss off and walked off mid-shift! but the boss was a real jerk at that restaurant.

I’m currently looking for a new job, or at least in theory I am, and the trouble I’m having is describing my past work behaviour to prospective employers. they ask me about my strengths and weaknesses, and to give other examples, and I have to think long and hard before I give an answer that’s both truthful and doesn’t make me look bad – or, unemployable, let’s say.

good luck to everyone!

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[powcat]

WW: thank you! I appreciate that bit of advice and wisdom. trying out concerta currently, so we’ll see what happens!

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[powcat]

I have picked at the skin on my fingers and chewed the inside of my mouth for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, I also remember how my parents and grandparents constantly criticized these behaviours. I still can’t stop doing these things; sometimes many minutes will have gone by before I realize it. But at least now I don’t blame myself anymore and that’s a relief!

In the last couple of years I’ve also started picking at the soles of my feet – I hate the fact that I do this but yeah, totally addictive somehow. (Wearing socks helps.) And I’ve started twirling my hair. When I’m alone, this can get very annoying, because sometimes I’ll feel like I have to make it all stay up in buns and that takes a long time, my hand gets tired, etc. (One year I resolved to a “dreadlock” hairstyle, because I was twisting my hair so much.)

Reading this was both tragic and hilarious. It’s funny that these are problems! But they really are, especially in social situations…

Another tip: I wear bandaids when my hangnails get painful, that way I can’t make them worse by accidentally picking at them more.

Come to think of it, ADHD is probably a big reason I started smoking: I don’t smoke much, but when I do it’s because I like having something in my hands/mouth, like when I have to walk somewhere. Ha.

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[powcat]

I found out pretty recently and, in typical ADD fashion, very excitedly and openly told a bunch of friends via the internet. I guess I felt that I wanted to explain past crappy behaviour like being late to meet them all and just letting them down somehow due to being disorganized.

I didn’t think this through and I actually regret it a little bit now. I didn’t get the big open-armed wave of support that I, for some reason, had expected. 5 friends responded with some encouraging comments, the gist of them being that I have nothing to apologize for. the rest – upwards of 10 people did not respond at all!

this left me wondering whether my blanket apology was an insensitive way to go – maybe I really pissed someone off a lot? – or if they just didn’t believe in the diagnosis, since I’m not hyperactive and quite the opposite of energetic, physically.

finally, I realized that it didn’t MATTER. if those people did not care enough to comment on my important news, what is it to me if they do or don’t understand my struggle? and if they are still offended by something I have done in the past after this news and don’t bother to talk to me about it, then I don’t really want to deal with them.

I’m not writing them off as bad people; just as folks that I’ll be keeping my boundaries with. the experience much reminded me of the Dr. Seuss quote: ‘those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.

so yes, probably be selective about who you tell, is my advice. but, if you find you are disappointed by someone’s reaction, it’s either because they’re not educated yet or they just… don’t matter.

PS: and I decided against coming out on my art blog, as much as I would like to. better just to wait and post all the work I’ll make once I find some good meds!! and let the results speak on my behalf.

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[powcat]

SAFFRON: thank you for your posts! I related to so many of the symptoms you described and it’s such a relief to know I’m not alone in this. it is strange to think fatigue is part of ADD since you are expected to be overly energetic and hyperactive; I can see how those close to me will be ever more confused by this.

I was diagnosed with depression over 5 years ago and have been on some type of antidepressant on and off since. now that my mood’s been fairly stable (on meds) for almost 2 years, low energy level is still my biggest issue. it’s the most frustrating thing to want and have things to do and people to see and not be able to! I am 23 and it’s kind of a ridiculous thing to explain to my friends that I can’t go out because I’m too tired to leave my house or even my bed.

I was finally diagnosed with ADD about 2 weeks ago so I am very hopeful.

Adderall is not working so well; got up and took it today, showered and dressed, had many plans, only to crash and nap after lunch. but there are other meds out there, wish me luck!

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[powcat]

WW and everyone else:

thank you for posting your observations and advice!

I am 23 and attend a fine art university. All my peers seem to have tons of friends and enriching social lives, while I, not hideous or mean or selfish, am always found wondering who to call so I don’t have to go to that party or concert alone.

Yes, I get to invited to things, but that hardly means anything in my peers’ Facebook-driven world. to be honest, I find most parties boring in actuality, but I make an effort to go so that people see me around and keep inviting me out and I can make more friends. Sounds pretty sad, huh.

(oh yeah, and does anyone else drink too much at these things and flirt with everyone in sight? is there a personality type for that?)

anyway, I’ve been diagnosed less than two weeks ago and I haven’t put this together with my loneliness until now. I have a couple of friends who love me very much but I think, for the majority, I am a little ‘intense’. I listen pretty well, but I do share too much and too quickly and am kind of haphazard. Loopy.

I just wanted to say thanks for pointing out to me that there’s probably nothing wrong with me besides some non-consequential quirks that make most [boring] people uneasy.

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[powcat]

are you in high school or college? maybe ask your guidance counsellor or the doctor/therapist at your college for help/information?

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[powcat]

I just got diagnosed about a week or two weeks ago. that didn`t make sense to me either, because I was never the class clown the way a typical ADHD child would be. and I was really good at school! (until I hit 16 or so.)

but ADHD is a disorder and it doesn`t define your personality, we all still have our own different traits and qualities, I guess.

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[powcat]

That sounds shitty.

Just my two cents, you gotta get out of there. I know you have no job or money and it seems impossible, but I think if you make it a priority, your life will start to improve. As long as you live with people who are negative, who don`t support you or believe in you, you are not going to succeed.

I had to go on welfare and go to food banks for a while when I first moved out of my moms but it was well worth it and, though Im still pretty poor, I have more control over my life and my success now.

good luck, seriously.

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[powcat]

Im also very jumpy. People that startle me laugh at my reaction, but its very unpleasant to have your heart nearly jump out of your skin! :S

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