[powcat]

good luck guys, it gets better.

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[powcat]

Does anyone find they tend to be attracted to and hit on their friends? I have been ashamed of this, thinking there’s something wrong with me, but I’m starting to think it’s ADD; being impulsive and sensitive, etc.

currently I’ve got at least 2 male friends with whom there is no gray area, and I really appreciate them. don’t undermine the idea of ‘staying friends’ with somebody after whatever doesn’t work out.

anyway, my new approach is to assume NO one is interested; perhaps going against my natural inclination will yield more results…. oof.

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[powcat]

I enjoy compliements when they’re relating to my creative work; I kind of crave these, actually. but when it comes to appearance, I become really uncomfortable. the weird thing is that dressing up is one of my favourite things; trying out different styles and matching and mismatching things together. but when I show up at the party in my carefully-selected outfit and I am complimented in front of a group of people, or I am complimented by several people in a row on the same thing, I just feel like I need to run away. I smile and say thanks of course, but it doesn’t feel good. what’s up with that? still not sure about that one.

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[powcat]

I am with you, man. also having a NON day. now it’s 8:30pm and I’ve done nothing today.

I feel lonely but I actually cancelled 3 separate social plans today because I wasn’t feeling up to it! I confuse myself.

and I need a job too… bah.

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[powcat]

I play keyboard and sing. I’ve been performing in Toronto the last few years.

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[powcat]

My heart goes out to all of you. Here’s some fun stuff to hopefully brighten your day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC9Kc-p2xxw

The lyrics of this song make me feel better about myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYszu3vzThM&feature=related

This is my favourite show. Since being diagnosed, I’ve realized that Brendon, the main character, very likely has got ADHD. Anyway I tried to find an episode where this is more obvious…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWMH1b4GOlQ

And this is just the best thing ever!

So when all else fails, at least there’s youtube…??

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[powcat]

yay! thanks guys.

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[powcat]

thanks dear, really appreciated!

I totally know what you mean by Staging Area; never actually realized it was a THING.

and the migrating mess… ha ha ha. for me, it’s my clothes. every morning, in an attempt to put together an outfit, I transport the pile of clothing on the floor onto my bed – believing I will finally sort it out and hang it up in the closet when I get home. every night, that pile goes right back on the floor to make room for me to sleep, because I’m too tired to deal with it! migrating mess, yep.

you can’t help me clean my apartment but you have made me laugh, thanks! and I just remembered how my sense of humour kind of gets me through my life a lot of the time. I can literally be walking down the street and crack myself up just by thinking of something in my head. we are lucky to be as creative as we are! helps to deal with the not-so-lucky aspects of our brains…

it does feel like I get paralyzed, you are right about imagining everything too far in advance.

I like to fantasize that I am a genius – because a lot of amazing people in history were huge weirdos. so I like to daydream that maybe I am in that place where no one gets it, but one day I’ll blow everybody away. oof, that’s embarassing to actually write out!

good night and thanks for your swift reply. this site is pretty excellent.

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[powcat]

TOOFAT, thanks, those are wise words I will try and keep in mind.

good luck everybody and lots of love.

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[powcat]

I felt pretty crappy myself this Valentine’s day; the fellow I like who is kind of perfect was out with his girlfriend. oh, my life….

I hang out with a guy and we are having lots of fun and flirting and all that. then I tell him I like him and he says he is attracted to me AND likes me as a friend, but doesn’t want to date. this happens to me over and over again.

I asked my guy friend, the one I have a crush on, for the male perspective on this mysterious – to me, at least – phenomenon. he said that I am too intense for some people. their thought process might go as follows:

“she wants to go on an adventure. I just want to hold hands and get a burger. I’m not up to an adventure right now.” and then they back off.

ironically, this kind of made me feel better about myself.

I’m not going to resolve to hide myself – though of course, I will try and abide by social boundaries, whatever, etc. I just have to wait to meet somebody who is strong and adventurous and courageous enough to want to go on the adventure with me.

if I try to trick someone into going out with me by appearing differently from what I am, well, that’s never going to last or even make me happy.

good luck, everybody. and it gives me hope that so many folks on this site seem to be married!

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[powcat]

agh, not quick at all.

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[powcat]

This is sad to read, guys, and I haven’t read all of the posts, but I want to go back and do that. I feel like I want to respond to all of you.

quick note, though, before I forget about parents:

I have been blaming my parents, too for the last 7 or 8 years – since starting therapy. just recently though, through a combination of horrible fights with both of them (they’re divorced) followed by time away from them and some sincere e-mails back and forth, plus learning about the ADHD and thus accepting myself, plus reiki, plus the years of therapy and writing and trying to feel it all and get it out of me – somehow I have reached a point where I feel that I am OUT of anger. like I came to the end of a book; there’s no more there.

they’re still not my favourite people, and they can hurt my feelings, and they annoy me constantly and they may frustrate me – but I am not so deeply shaken as before if they say or do the wrong thing.

I think the key really is to get a better grip on yourself – form this core at your being full of self-love and acceptance and dreams and forgiveness for yourself, and keep that safe and protected. I’m still working on this, of course, but I really believe that’s the answer.

that way, if I have that unmovable strength at my core, it doesn’t matter if people don’t believe me or don’t agree with me, even if those people are my parents. certainly it can hurt my feelings and I wish they thought differently, but their beliefs or words or whatever don’t have anything to do with MY experience, or what is true for ME. parents’ opinions can’t change reality.

I hope that makes a little bit of sense because it is starting to lose that ability for me.

The point: you can’t change other people’s attitudes, only your own. Take time away from them all if that’s what it takes; tell them you need to not talk to or see them for a while.

and most of us will probably never get those apologies we so crave, but we actually DON’T NEED them. the apology won’t change your past. it probably won’t even change your relationship with the parent, because even if they apologize, their personality won’t magically change.

hopeful news: once we start to change, our family, though resistant and pissy at first, might begin to change also. if you stand by your new boundaries and beliefs and they want to continue to interact with you, they have no choice.

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[powcat]

Brentitude:

thanks for posting that, it sounds exactly like my day.

I feel so depressed right now because I’ve been putting off chores for a few days now – some for a few weeks/months – and the longer I wait, the more builds up to get done and the worse I feel about myself and just kind of want to run away.

I feel really silly, because I KNOW without a doubt that as soon as I am actually ACTING and DOING, it will be easy and I will feel better.

What keeps us from starting? Anxiety? Feeling overwhelmed?

Bejeweled is my favourite game, actually, ha ha. and my laptop, I love it, but at the same time I know I am kind of addicted to it/ the internet. does anybody else turn their computer on as soon as they wake up?

anybody else can’t eat a meal alone without watching TV or going on your computer? I always either have my computer on or the radio in the background.

I found out about 2 months ago now about the ADHD and the initial relief and excitement has worn off. do you guys find this has happened to you? you hit kind of a plateau once you realize how hard it is to form new habits and deal with this, and how slowly change comes?

thanks again, everybody, for posting. this site always helps when I am down on myself.

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[powcat]

because a little step is better than standing still, yeah!

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[powcat]

it might “slow me down, but at least I’m moving forward.” nicely said!! good job everybody!

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