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I go through cycles of being able to keep my house clean. I agree with wiredonjava’s comments and with koishi’s comments. For me anyway, getting over that initial mountain of inertia is the trick. There is nothing worse than your eyeballs telling you the house is a mess, the left side of your brain says it’s simple to clean and the right side of your brain laughs it’s ass off when you can’t manage to get the dishes into the dishwasher.

I have one trick that sometimes works. You remember the line out of the Last Samurai, “Too many mind? No mind!” Stated another way, thinking screws me up when it comes to cleaning. If you can’t clear your mind of thought then fill it with pictures of squirrels and, while thinking only of squirrels, put that first dish in the dishwasher or that first sock in the washer. That first one may weigh 800 pounds but each subsequent one gets lighter.

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Asking for advice from ADD Adults struck me as a clever idea. My next thought was that if ADDers are poor observers, then how the hell would we know when we have done something that actually works?

As many above stated, … do as much reading on ADHD as you can, this will help you separate the wheat from the chaff.

Gradeschool was a nightmare. In no particular order, here are some of the problems I had and my suggestions for you and your son,

1) Staying awake in class. 8 hours sleep was NOT enough. I needed 9-10 hours just to get by.

…. My parents had me on Ritalin for a couple of years. I should never have stopped taking the stuff, although way back then (As in when we still recited the Pedge of Allegiance – every day) by the time you hit 12 or so you were thought to have outgrown the need for the Ritalin.

2) Going to sleep I had no issue with but I HATED the idea of going to bed.

… My mom got be involved in year round swim team. Puppies and children have many common behaviors. What happens when you take a puppy for an hour long romp? Answer … the puppy falls asleep shortly after you get home.

… If he has a T.V. or computer in his room, try to make sure he can’t watch TV or play games until all hours.

3) Getting out of bed in the morning. Even back then I had the idea of putting the alarm clock on the other side of the room. Now I frequenly set two alarm clocks and I have a lamp with a VERY bright light bulb on a timer which turns on 15 minutes before the first alarm is set to go off. Silly? Perhaps. But it works.

4) The horrors of homework. For me getting the homework done had multiple hurdles.

a) Accurately writing done the assignment

b) Remembering where I written down the assignment

c) Starting the assignment

d) Finishing the assignment

e) Remembering to take the completed homework to school

f) Being able to find the homework at the time the teacher requested it be turned in.

For each of the above steps there may be multiple solutions. This will be a tough nut to crack. Some of the “obvious” solutions come with their own problems, such as an assignment book. (Ya, right. That’s one more thing to remember, one more thing to lose and one more thing I won’t be able to find at the moment needed.). At some point he will need to learn to use an assignment book or a daily planner but it may be a bridge to far in the beginning. Both my kids are out of college now but even in high school there was a homework hot line number they could call and now many schools have on their web-sites a page you or your son can go to where either of you can find that day’s assignments. If something like that is available, I see no reason to also write down the assignment. The object is to limit the number of tasks between getting the assignment and turning it in.

A reward and punishment system is utterly the wrong way to go. Think along the lines of the “Horse Whisperer” or the “Dog Whisperer.” It needs to be positive reinforcement ALL the way. No, I am not suggesting that failure be rewarded. I guarantee you he knows immediately when he has a mistake and he probably knew he was making the mistake as he was making it. I suggest a combination of immediate rewards for instances when you “catch him” doing something right and near term performance related rewards.

My sons are now 24 and 27. I swear it was only a week and a half ago that they were 9 and 12. Every single moment you get to spend with your son doing homework, talking about homework or just talking, is a gift.

Hope this helped.

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John,

Merely getting the diagnosis may be helpful to many because it gives them warm and fuzzy feeling that the problem, having been identified, can be fixed – they start their meds and everything is better! Then there is us. Sucks.

In one of your follow on posts you mentioned it took you an entire day to write that first post. Yes! Thank you! It too takes me an eternity to get something coherant down on paper. Out of morbid curiosity, how many times would you say you re-wrote your post? 6 or 8 times or more?

Does any of this sound familiar? Would you revise a sentence multiple times because it wasn’t just right or because you felt that sentence didn’t express EXACTLY what you wanted to express? Did you try to follow the adage that “the perfect is the enemy of the good” by simply writing a paragraph and then hitting send? Did you stop trying to follow that adage after you read that paragraph the following day? When your boss looks at you as if you were an idiot and asks you why something didn’t get done, do you think to yourself that if you knew the answer to the damn question about why you didn’t get something done that you wouldn’t be having the conversation in the first place? And why is it that the $175/hour therapist can’t answer the question either?

If I had the answers I wouldn’t be here in this forum. Just keep doing what ADDers have lots of practice at, getting up again.

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John … I hope writing that rant was at least half as cathartic as having read it.

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If haven’t consulted an attorney, you should.

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Gary … Oy vey! Ixnay on the duesnay! Let us, ever so gently, encourage the TotallyADD folks to enhance the capability of the site with suble suggestions of !!!! WILDLY INCREASED !!!! traffic to their site. Hmm, guess I need to work on that subtlety thing. I’ll put that on my to do list.

Folks who research ADD get their information from the folks who have ADD. Let’s cut out the middle man and talk to each other. Not that there isn’t a legitimate role for those that have it Piled higher and Deeper, there is also much to be said for going directly to the source, us.

And golly gee whiz, think of the material that would be available for a BEST SELLING BOOK if Dr. J or Hallowell moderated the discussions a couple times a week. That could even take the place of dues! Naturally, properly executed releases supported by adequate consideration would be necessary for all, perhaps with more than adequate consideration for the brilliantly creative person who had the initial idea.

(Too subtle?)

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Jellybean … when I read your post I thought perhaps I had written the thing. After careful consideration I eventually concluded I had not written the post because, as a middle aged guy, I was reasonably certain I would not have chosen “Jellybean” as my screen name. That being said, there are some days …

As for counseling, I think billd phrased it well, “Counselors are there for a reason …”. Do you tell your parents??? I’m a parent. Parents can be funny creatures. My boys are out of college now but if they had then told me they felt they needed counseling, all I would want to know is if there was anything at all they wanted me to do to help.

Can ADD get worse? Oy. I don’t know the answer to that one but I know it sure can feel like your ADD is getting worse because as time goes by, in college or at work, the standards by which we are judged get tougher. You may have learned to keep 12 balls in the air at a time but then sure as the sun rises, some putz is going to give you more balls to juggle. I had a professor in college (a looong time ago) tell us his toilet bowl theory of life. You spend all you time and energy to swim to the side of the bowl and just when you get to the edge, just when you get to safety and can rest … you get flushed.

I too was diagnosed with ADD when I was 7 or 8. I dealt with it with varying degrees of success through college and law school. I have a couple suggestions for you.

First, get into a study group or get a study budy. The purpose of the group or study budy is not just to get together and read the material in silence, the purpose is to actually discuss the material. By talking about the material you are giving your brain additional opportunities to build the connections among those damn synapses. I don’t know about you but my synapses needed all the help they could get.

Secondly, at you really need to get 60 minutes of solid exercise a day. I know, I know, the training conventional wisdom is 3-5x/week. I have two responses: 1) you’re 20 years old and 2) you have ADD. I college I swam and after college I took up running. Either one can be done with the brain on autopilot.

Jellybean, all any of can do is to keep plugging away. Hang in there.

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I don’t know if the recommended dosing or the legally allowed dosing is different in Canada vis a vis the U.S. but the dosage you are on sounds quite low. 5 – 10 mg doesn’t even touch me. I have previously been on dexedrine and there were a couple of times at bedtime when instead of grabbing my vitamins I accidentally grabbed my dexedrine and took 15 mg. I realized my mistake about 5 seconds too late. What happened? I just went to sleep.

Go to the web and take a look at the dosage recommendations from the dexedrine drug information label. Also note that there is a difference between the generic dexedrine and the brand. 15 mg of generic dex has only 12.5 mg of dex in the thing. Really, read the labels.

In my humble opinion, getting the right meds is only the beginning. The meds don’t make the ADD go away. The meds just help turn the ADD 800 lb gorilla into a potentially managable 200 lb gorilla … but it’s still a damn strong gorilla..

Your doctor’s comment about you “just needing to make lists and follow them” indicates to me that your Dr. is clueless. If just “make a list and follow it” were a suggestion that actually worked then this web-site would not exist.

Having ADD sucks but you have taken the first BIG step, getting the meds. Do your homework on dosing and get another appointment iwth the doctor and educate the doctor. All you can do is keep your head up and keep plugging away.

below is a link for dexedrine drug information

http://www.dexedrine.com/docs/dexedrine_PI.pdf

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Nice discussions on the sleep or lack thereof. Sounds like we all have similar experience. I have been trying very hard to get to bed by 9 pm. I was actually successful twice this week, only to wake up about 1 am. On the bright side the dogs got their baths, the dishes are done and the floors are mopped. Whatever works.

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Recording a telephone conversation … Pete-puma, you might want to take another look at the Federal rules regarding recording conversations without the consent of ALL the parties … and then take a look at applicable state law. In California, anyway, such recordings can be a good way to quickly get into some deep legal doo-doo (to use a legal term).

see, for example, Cal. Pen. Code sec. 632:

(a) Every person who, intentionally and without the consent of all parties to a confidential communication, by means of any electronic amplifying or recording device, eavesdrops upon or records the confidential communication, whether the communication is carried

on among the parties in the presence of one another or by means of a telegraph, telephone, or other device, except a radio, shall be

punished by a fine not exceeding two thousand five hundred dollars ($2,500), or imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding one year,

or in the state prison, or by both that fine and imprisonment. If the person has previously been convicted of a violation of this section

or Section 631, 632.5, 632.6, 632.7, or 636, the person shall be punished by a fine not exceeding ten thousand dollars ($10,000), by

imprisonment in the county jail not exceeding one year, or in the state prison, or by both that fine and imprisonment.

billd … you are correct, actual multi-tasking is a myth. It sounds like you have thought this ADD non-sense through, so I wonder if you or anyone else have any suggestions regarding a particular ADD albatros around my neck. As brief back ground, I am 52 y.o. and have been dealing with ADD since childhood and am currently on Adderall.

On any particular day there may be 35 discrete tasks I need to get done (pick whatever number you want, the number 35 is just what popped into my head). I have no problem identifying which of those tasks is going to bite me in the butt the quickest and/or hardest. Lets call that task RED. When I get the point of doing task RED, there are many times when I look at the task, I know exactly what needs to get done, I know that task RED needs to get done, then my irrational brain kicks in and I ignore task RED and work on some other task. It’s akin to a fight or flight reflex. I say my irrational brain kicks in because my frontal cortex knows there is nothing frightening about task RED … but try telling that to my lower brain. Sometimes I can push my way through and get to work on task RED. Sometimes I can’t. What do you do when you run into a road block?

Any suggestions are appreciated.

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30 mg Adderall in the morning but that stuff takes 2 hours to kick in. I usually need a really big coffee or a Rock Star to feel awake. The liturature I have read says the caffeine interfers with the action of the Adderall or Dexedrine. Must have been written by someone who doesn’t have ADD.

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SammieGlow, I am 52 y.o. and am also on Adderall, 60 mg/day (30 mg immediate release tab). My ADD was diagnosed in childhood. I had to smile at your narcolepsy comment because it does not matter how much I sleep, I am ALWAYS sleepy. I have for some time wondered if the “ADD” is in fact just a manifestation of poor sleep as I frequently feel like I am in a severe brain fog (imagine chopping 30 points off your IQ and having your memory working at the same level as a goldfish). Anyway … Adderall does not give me the same “wake up” kick as dexedrine did but the Adderall does seem to help more with the executive function aspect of the ADD. Just for me to feel like I am on a level playing field, I need to get 8 – 10 hours sleep AND the stimulants. Hope this helps.

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This is for Babyjo … tips for studying. This worked for me in college. Begin reading your text immediately upon waking in the morning and read for at least 15 minutes. Immediately means immediately. No pee break. No getting out of bed. Put the nightstand light on a timer if need be and have the book open and the paragraph marked where you want to start. For my purposes, “waking” meant the instant the eyelid uncovered the cornea. Ya, I know … if I “get up” at 6 am it may be 7 am or later before I figure out what my name is. No matter. In that 15 minutes of reading you are not going for understanding, you are only going for the act of having DONE the reading.

Hope that helps.

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