[Takingbacktyler]

Its Ok Blackdog. Its a good topic.

For me believing that I can put ADD in check and having some sort of faith is key. I do have my ” no hope” days but keeping in the front of my mind that if I work every single day towards getting better I feel like i make some progress.

Dont give up the fight Anonymous.

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[Takingbacktyler]

A few things that may help ( If I was him anyways).

Try to set an exact time and date where you can sit and talk.. Prefferably not after he just comes home from work or at a time he may be inclined to stress.

Acknowledge that you also have imperfections that he has to ” put up” with and this is no different. However you want to see him get on meds or continue counseling for ADHD for himself and his pro longed happiness as well as for the marriage.

Sometimes i get very anxious when I talk to my wife about my ADHD because I feel like I want to be with someone who DOESENT want me to change.
Someone who can love me for me and not just put up with… tthhennn I remind myself that a good marriage is when both parties make each other better. Both parties build each other up and make the other the best they can be. Your not trying to change him your simply trying to make him stronger for himself and for the both of you.

Hope something in this helps 🙂

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[Takingbacktyler]

Hi RS-
Thanks for sharing this. First I am glad to hear you made it through your medical scare. I do hope you are feeling better.

One of my first thoughts in reading this was how very right you are that no- one should to go through this. My second thought was how in some odd way maybe you going through this has enabled you to relate to your son and greatly help him improve his life on this front.
I can relate so much to your comment about the types of people you had hanging around. I try to remind myself that maybe going through the ADHD process has allowed me to cleanse my life in a way that i wouldent have otherwise. I know its very hard to see the bright side of the situation but i guess in a way thats all we have dont we?
I really hope you get back on the medication and you feel the improvments that you felt before.

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[Takingbacktyler]

Hi Sdwa,

I am going through something similar right now. Its a struggle. I have tried a new technique that has helped a bit- I set aside times to ” worry” or to ” face the issues”… It helps knowing that at say 12:00 tommorow i will call a debtor and face it and i can worry then. I find it lingers less in my mind all day knowing it has a set time to be handled.

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[Takingbacktyler]

Hi Redarno. The good news ( i know its hard to believe) is that you know now your enemy. There is something to be said for that. 24 years old gives you alot of time to rebuild. I know it seems virtually impossible considering how your probably feel right now but it is possible.
I hope this does not come off as to ” positive” or piss you off but I think alot of being somewhat happy with ADD or ADHD is changing what it is that you want to accomplish with your life. It sounds like your very skilled in some areas. If you as a child aspire to be an olympic runner and as an adult lose your legs it may be time to re asses the dream and build it around what you can do.
Thanks for sharing your feelings with us.

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[Takingbacktyler]

My “Super Power” is the compassion that ADHD has taught me. I know how it feels to be different and to think diffrently than most.
It happens frequently that i hit it off with some random stranger at the super market or at a party and they end up spilling there whole life story to me. They usually tell me they just felt like they could talk to me. Prettt cool.

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[Takingbacktyler]

Wow. This was alot of great stuff to read. Thank you all for the input.

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[Takingbacktyler]

I took a new job in my company this week! I start monday. I kept thinking I could make it work in my current position and truthfully the prospect of applying for a new position and going through the process was overwhelming. This new gig should be a better fit for me. I think this deserves a high five for making the change.

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[Takingbacktyler]

I mostly agree shutterbug. I am real sorry to hear your having a bad day. I know how that goes.
I suppose you can call it luck but I have had some things go right lately and they all seemed tied to past failures. In my life i have found that my calling is giving to others. It makes me happy and truly is my purpose in life. I guess i see that disccovery as happening only through my sympathy for others due to my own failings. I think if i didnt have ADHD and was born into a very rich and succesful family giving would still be my purpose in life but i never would have found it.
Maybe i am spinning it into my own positive view but it really is how i feel.

Fabulous– I dont see the physical or mental atributes as a gift thats for sure. On a very different but somewhat related example Nick Vujic comes to mind. Born with no arms and no legs. Throug being born that way he found his true calling which is being a motivational speaker and helping people around the world. Maybe if he wasent born with that horrible affliction he would have had a desk job, lived a mediocore life and never have found his ” calling”.
Maybe this is a reach.

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[Takingbacktyler]

Mckray – You bring up a very interesting point. My wife is still in the ” getting it” stage i think. I am semi- paranoid about the high divorce rate among people with ADHD so i try to voice my appreciation for her bearing with me alot. She claims that its very easy to be married to me. Perhaps it is the way we offset each other, im not really sure. To her as long as im happy she doesent really care about much else ( relatively speaking).

I am very worried about the pressure I am putting on myself. whats me and whats ADHD? I guess im not so sure.

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[Takingbacktyler]

Shutterbug- What a story. I Thank you for sharing. I can relate to how you feel with groups. I get this odd feeling when I meet new people that i have a sign hanging from my kneck that says ” im odd”. I guess it shows in how i act around them to. However i love to be around people. It sucks for sure.

I guess I struggle with what Happiness means with this condition. I love my wife more than anything in this world but i cant quit my job because i am married and i have responsibilities. Does having ADHD make it ok to take yourself out of a sucky job to make youself better but make you spouses life more stressful? I really dont know how to define what the ” right ” thing is.

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[Takingbacktyler]

Marie- Thank you for your input on my story.
Although I am in very early stages in getting the correct help and techniques figured out it hasent stopped me from trying anything that may work. I will def. try your advice. It is nice to know what my battle is because now i can learn things that have worked for others.

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[Takingbacktyler]

Thank you for the welcome. Thank you for reading. I am really excited and hopeful about particapating on here.
Really interesting Larynxa, I have never thought about the ” why” part of obsessing. Filtering is a real struggle though, There is no denying that. I lose sight of the big picture. Often the things that i fear doing based on past results or perceived results turn out to be really good things that i should have done long ago.

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[Takingbacktyler]

I can somewhat relate to this. ADD seems to tempt you to do things you dont want to do. My assumption that i have come to grips with is that it provides some sort of stimulation, even if its a negative situation. I really hope you find a support group soon and can get some further help.

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[Takingbacktyler]

I will frequently stop at certain parts of a story im telling and alot of the time noone says “go on” the just start talking about something else and thats when i know ive fallen victim to verbal vomit. It happens alot haha

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