[wawabyjohnah]

I also think that the perception of ADHD is still of the really hyper, naughty kid at school, which doesn’t help with any efforts to make the world more aware of what adhd really is. It’s still a childhood disorder that you grow out of! I wish! People are starting to realise depression and all that goes with it is a legitimate mental illness but anything else- there is a long way to go. But sites like this one are starting to help. If I hadn’t found this site, I would never have known much about adhd or that it could be what’s been affecting me.

Sarah

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[wawabyjohnah]

I was having a conversation about mental health the other day, and perceptions people have. One fellow had taught an adult with aspergers and was amazed at how intelligent he was, but he had to be taught in a completely different way to most. Another lady was telling us about her granddaughter who was recently diagnosed with autism. Both said things like no one understands or respects the differences. I said people don’t understand, or want to understand that which isn’t ‘normal’ (I blurted it out actually) and was thinking of my own experiences and how most people think I’m pretty weird and strange! But if people were more open to differences in ways of thinking, living etc then mental health issues wouldn’t be faux pa and people could seek help without the stigma of a mental illness. Then life might be easier.

One day Australia will catch up- we’re too laid back for our own good sometimes!

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[wawabyjohnah]

Hi guys

Thanks for responding. I’ve thought about my initial post and realised I was over thinking the results of the learning style test i did- which isn’t unusual for me! I know the way I learn could be overlapping, but is so different to ADHD. Although I haven’t got a diagnosis yet, I am pretty sure this is what has been affecting me all my life. I struggle in so many ways- not to the extreme some people do but enough to impair aspects of my life. I’m lucky in the fact I have a job that i like and that I’ve had for 7 years, but I think some of that is because I work alone and no one sees the chaos that is me. If I’m late to work, no one knows. When I can’t locate a vital report or forget to do things, I can just avoid the phone and emails until I am ready to send it through. I also don’t look stupid when I get really frustrated when searching for my stapler I used all of five minutes earlier because no one is there to see me. The social world scares me though. I’m only comfortable around my closest friends- they just laugh at my silliness and either put up with my incessant talking or tell me to shut up. Where as with others I am too worried about making a fool out of myself that I find any excuse to get out of the event. Yet put me on the soccer field and I’ll take on anyone and am loud and everyone knows who I am. All a bit weird, hey?

Well enough of that. I’m just going to read up as much as I can and wait for the elusive psych appointment. I’ve lived this long without a diagnosis, what’s a few more months?

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[wawabyjohnah]

Sometimes getting things off your chest makes things better, clearer. Maybe print some stuff out for your parents to look at. My mum wouldn’t read a webpage so print a list of symptoms and highlight yours or something like that for them to have a look at. They might see that you do ‘fit’ adhd. I hope everything works out for you.

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[wawabyjohnah]

It’s around $15 a month if you pay monthly, less if you ‘buy in bulk’ ie for a year

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[wawabyjohnah]

Obedience school for brains- now there’s an idea!

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[wawabyjohnah]

I hear you Sherri. Waiting is like tourture. I had a light bulb moment and cried tears of relief at finding out that there was a reason for my scattiness and everything. I wanted to be tested right there and then. But I have to wait. Go see my local doctor, who I find out isn’t able to diagnose ADHD in Australia, but there is one, just one, pychologist in my city who can. He’s new to town so we call him. He has no appointments at all, all booked up but I am on the waiting list and they will call me. Arrgghhh. I don’t want to wait, and I have no idea how long that wait will be. There has to be a better way.

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[wawabyjohnah]

I do classical music too. Often have it on whilst at work, and that’s when I get the most done. Especially when there are other noises annoying me. I’ve always said classical music calms my soul.

I also start thinking about not thinking when meditating, or trying to sleep, as well. Drives me nuts that I can’tnot think about anything. The other day, whilst trying not to think, I wondered if I would die if I stopped thinking, as it has never happened to me before- a blank mind.

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[wawabyjohnah]

I read kids/teen books because they grab your attention faster than any adult book. I love fantasy too because it takes me away from this world and away from all my troubles (I had a not so good childhood and I think that is why I got into fantasy at an early age). Although I haven’t been able to read like I used to. I still have a couple of books that I started last year, and a Christmas present book that I can’t seem to get through, even though I’m really into them. It’s rather annoying actually, I used to be such a book worm.

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[wawabyjohnah]

Right handed here

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[wawabyjohnah]

I thought I was getting early onset alzheimers or something similar due to my ‘blanking’ and forgetfulness. Drives me nuts. Especially when in the middle of a conversation, I can’t remember what the hell I was talking about. Very embarrassing.

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[wawabyjohnah]

I do the sock thing too. Now wear black socks most of the time.

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[wawabyjohnah]

Heya Wolfshades, how are you going?

I have become very aware that the process will take a lot of time. Went to see my doctor the other day. Found out I have to see a adhd psychiatrist to get tested as local GPs can’t do anything here. There is a new one here, just one- in a pretty major rural city. I don’t live in a tiny little town or anything- shows how crappy our health system can be. Anyway, the psychiatrist is private so will probably cost a fortune too. My doc tried to call them to book me in, couldn’t get through, so I have to wait until my next appointment (I have to go back re another medical condition) and see about the referral. No idea how long it will take to get the first appointment. Probably a while…

Since last weekend, when I made my ‘discovery’, I’ve become acutely aware of all the traits I have that can be put under the adhd heading. And all the behaviours that don’t fit too. So second guessing myself- maybe I don’t have it, maybe I am just lazy, stupid etc. Grrr. Driving me nuts. Why isn’t there a simple blood test that the doc can do and get results back the next day?

Yesterday I had a minor crisis at work. My job includes giving out Christmas food hampers and toys to the disadvantaged, and due to a mix up with another department, I had to send out order forms and record who wants a hamper/toys on a spread sheet. Not something I enjoy doing, but I got on with it. I sent the letters out a few weeks ago and have been adding families details as it came in, thinking I was doing really well. That was until the master spreadsheet came out Thursday. Discovered a few of my families were missing off the list. Thursday was the last day to send data down to be added to the master sheet, so I raced around last thing to get it there, for the third time I might add. I’d been out all day doing other things and I had 15 minutes before the end of work. Get into work Friday morning and find that my data was still missing, chased and called around for hours trying to get it fixed. I was getting extrememly frustrated that no one could help me or tell me why these families were missing. Finally, my regional manager then tells me that I hadn’t ordered hampers for these families at all, I said I did, he said I hadn’t put the numbers in the row for hampers and that’s why the families weren’t on the master sheet. Aarrgghhh. Looked through my local spread sheet and found out I hadn’t entered that data for over half of my families. I entered toys but not hampers. Arrggghhh again. Now I was not only frustrated because no one told me I’d missed filling in an entire column for nearly 50 families, but sooooo pissed off with myself because I had double and triple checked the data so my families didn’t miss out. My manager did get a few families added to the list, I don’t even think I thanked him- I was in total disbelief that I could be so stupid. I sat in silence on the phone to him for a bit, mainly because if I said anything it was not going to be pleasant, and I was also contemplating what I had done and what to do about it, then I told my manager that’s why I don’t do data entry, I miss important details. He chuckled at that (is that good or bad???)

I really wish I had a diagnosis, because I’d like to talk to my manager about how it affects my work, but have no proof that adhd exists…yet. He’s pretty cool really and I think he’d be ok with it. The organisation I work for is pretty good too. I meet my targets and perform well, so it’s not something that affects my work, well at least in managements eyes (thank goodness I work on my own and they don’t see the craziness that exists in my world). It would also help explain my stuff up with the hampers because I don’t want them thinking I am stupid when I know I am not.

Hmm, there’s my little rant for the week. Thanks for reading.

Johnah

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[wawabyjohnah]

I’m thinking the same- normalish childhood with not many symptoms but as an adult it’s a completely different story. I was a shy, quiet kid who was academically talented at primary school. I did, however, notice that I hated any essay/ non practical subject at high school, especially senior high school and on in to university. It frustrated me that I just couldn’t study and no matter how hard I tried I left every assignment to the last minute. I just thought I was just messed up from other issues happening in my life (domestic violence etc) or it was just the way I learnt.

Now as an adult I can’t sit still for long periods (I just came back from a meeting the other day which my manager drove me the 2 hours home. He commented that he was surprised I’d sat still for so long- obviously he’s noticed my restlessness- little did he know how much effort it had taken me to sit still for that long), never finish what I start, have the most disorganised and cluttered desk at work and bedroom at home, was seriously thinking I was getting early dementia because I forget and misplace everything, always late or forget totally about meetings, tune out (even whilst writing this post I’ve been flitting between webpages and forgot where I was up to) etc etc.

Looking back now, I realise that through school and uni there were lots of symptoms that I and no one else ever identified that point to ADHD. I hated uni lectures cause I had to sit still for hours, but overcame that by teaching myself to write with my left hand- which kept me pretty much occupied. I excelled at the practical sides to my subjects but flunked out in written work or long exams. “Would do better with further home study and application” were common comments on reports.

So yesterday I did some research and found I pretty much tick all the boxes for ADHD. Reading through various forums and webpages- a light bulb moment where I saw my life a whole new way. It made so much sense and I realised I wasn’t stupid or lazy or anything else people had told me and that made me cry- happy tears because there was a reason for it all. My next step is to get it confirmed by a doctor and proceed from there (wish it wasn’t the weekend so I could have seen someone straight away- another ADHD trait- hates waiting). So thanks for reading my long post, sorry I sort of hijacked your forum Darlene (and that I talk excessively- another symptom).

Have a great day everyone

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