[wawabyjohnah]

Interestingly I found this topic tonight when I can’t sleep- it’s like 1am here- and I was thinking about how bored I am with my life atm. Not sure if that means I’m unhappy, I suppose it does.  I want some excitement in my life but no idea how to go about changing things to do this. I like my job, it is an ok match for me and I  love helping the families I work with- but is becoming very repetitive and I end up sitting on the computer all day doing nothing. Everything I do in my spare time is basically the same as I’ve done for years- even though I love doing those things, they are so ‘normal’ to me that they just blend in.  It’s very depressing 🙁

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[wawabyjohnah]

Haha!! Love it. I wonder if I could get my own little girl to follow me around every day to stop me from talking too much?

I missed the MRI of the coitus part too, I got bored after a few minutes! lol

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[wawabyjohnah]

I tried knitting a while ago- when my nan got moved into the nursing home and was bored. I knew the basics so got her to show me how to read a pattern and all that. She couldn’t break down the movements to slow motion and I couldn’t follow her, so I had to sneak a look at youtube on my phone so she thought I was learning from her. We gave up when her eyesight and arthritis got too bad. Plus I gave up because I am sooo slow. I bought a book with things to knit quickly. The mittens said they took two hours. One of mine took more like 10 hours. Well I have never finished the second one it was taking so long. And if I’m knitting, I can’t do anything else as I need my whole concentration span on that only. But this was a few years back now, maybe I should give it another go, especially now with my adhd discovery.

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[wawabyjohnah]

Hi Thao

Your husband sounds an awful lot like my father. I put up with similar things when I was your daughters age- things thrown, holes punched, silent treatment, lots of emotional abuse. Don’t ever compare that to physical violence by thinking if he isn’t hitting her, it’s not too bad. The emotional stuff is just as bad, if not worse, because no one can ‘see’ it ie there are no bruises on the outside. But there are plenty on the inside and they remain with you for a long time. My brother turned 30 this year and is still dealing with the emotional abuse from my father- and he still isn’t dealing with it well- very much in denial about it all. My father also refused to get treatment for many years, and when my mum finally convinced him to go to a doctor, he was diagnosed with bipolar/manic depression. He had many of the same behaviours as you’ve said your husband has. But he refused to take medication and didn’t believe the diagnosis so the cycle continued until my mum finally got the courage to kick him out when I was at university. He still has the disorder (I also suspect he has adhd too) and does nothing about it, so still has rage issues and all that.

I’m not sure what to suggest. I know how hard it is to get someone to admit there is a problem and to seek help. Have a talk yourself to your doctor about his behaviour and see what they think could be the problem. Get some pamphlets, factsheets etc and maybe sit them somewhere he will see them and hope he looks at them. Maybe you and your daughter could write down how you feel when he ‘goes off’ at your daughter in a letter to him and share when he is calm, to show him how you feel. Social cues and emotions are not usually an adhders strong point and he might not realise how bad he is making you feel. My father wants everything to go back to ‘the way it was’- which means he has no idea how bad the ‘way it was’ actually was.

As blunt and hard as this might sound- you might be better off without him. He isn’t your responsibility. He is a grown man. He needs to sort himself out and if he is not willing to do that, you need to do what is best for yourself and your daughter. (This is only my opinion from my own experiences)

I hope everything works out for you and your family.

Johnah

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[wawabyjohnah]

Yep, same here. It is soooo slow (no offense Dr J) and I just want to click ahead so I can get my results. I’m a fast reader so I don’t need to listen to Dr J asking the questions. I know you can answer before the end of the question but you still have to wait for the screen to catch up with you. Plus I’ve done it quite a lot of times whilst waiting for a diagnosis (11 months and counting) and after discovering new symptoms so know most of the questions anyway.

But I think it might have been different the first time I did it. I think I listened very intently as I was discovering all about ADHD and the possibility of having the disorder.

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[wawabyjohnah]

I work in a 9-5 job. Been here for 7 years. But I’m the only worker in my organisation in my office, which I think is why I am still here. No one knows or cares if I am late, how chaotic my space is, if I procrastinate the whole day long or anything like that.

I was a school teacher for a few years. That wasn’t the greatest role for me as the planning and paperwork side of it didn’t like me. And being late wasn’t looked on very positively.

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[wawabyjohnah]

eeeww, who would have thought a post on hyperactivity would lead to pee? lol Poor old ladies!

I think you might have a point scattybird re more confidence and the ‘real me’ showing now. I’m not so afraid of making a fool out of myself in front of people- in fact I rather enjoy being the centre of attention! lol

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[wawabyjohnah]

I agree- television is so easy. And I know if I sit down in front of it, I’ll be there for hours. The link you posted has a list of what tv does to you and most resonate with me-

“I feel hypnotized when I watch television.”

“Television sucks my energy.”

“I feel like a vegetable when I’m stuck there at the tube.”

“Television spaces me out.”

“I feel mesmerized by it.”

“If a television is on, I just can’t keep my eyes off it.”

I can spend hours wasting my life away in front of the television, and also on the internet. I sometimes wish I didn’t have a tv or computer, but like that is ever going to happen. I went out with a guy once who never watched tv, so I went months with very little tv and I didn’t die, so it can’t be that hard to break the addiction, right?

Johnah

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[wawabyjohnah]

This happens to me quite often. I forget words, names, places etc and then look stupid because whoever I was talking to just stares at me (well that’s what it feels like anyway!). I also get half way through sentences and forget what I was talking about – that’s even more embarrassing 😳 . At one stage I worried I was getting early onset dementia. But alas, it looks more like adhd instead when added to all the other symptoms I have (still waiting for the psych appointment to confirm my self diagnosis). Now I know why I hated, and still do to a point, public speaking at school and uni- especially on the spot, unprepared talks they liked to throw in every now and then.

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[wawabyjohnah]

I don’t know if I do it all the time, but I remember quite a few years back being at the movies watching a Jim Carey movie (Liar, Liar I think) and I laughed loudly at one section before anyone else did (I could see what was going to happen). I think everyone in the cinema turned and looked at me, it was quite embarrassing.

Actually, thinking more about it, I do often laugh before others. Hmm, never thought about that before! Maybe it’s the impulsive part of ADHD coming out?

Johnah

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[wawabyjohnah]

I don’t know if I do it all the time, but I remember quite a few years back being at the movies watching a Jim Carey movie (Liar, Liar I think) and I laughed loudly at one section before anyone else did (I could see what was going to happen). I think everyone in the cinema turned and looked at me, it was quite embarrassing.

Actually, thinking more about it, I do often laugh before others. Hmm, never thought about that before! Maybe it’s the impulsive part of ADHD coming out?

Johnah

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[wawabyjohnah]

I drive fast too, rarely at the speed limit and I hate sitting at traffic lights and luckily I don’t get stuck in many traffic jams- although it can take me a few minutes to get out my driveway for work- that’s like a traffic jam in my city and is very annoying!

Hey Shutterbug, did you take your icon photo. I love it! I have always wanted to photography lightning but it makes me jump lol

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[wawabyjohnah]

Hey Taylor

I do the all of these, to a point. Mostly the first one. Which is why I don’t like driving much and try to get out of it whenever I can. Especially when driving others around. I hate driving long distances. I get bored so easily and often look around and find myself heading in the direction I am looking. I’m still amazed I’ve never ran off the road or crashed (thank goodness).

I remember reading something about the “Zombie Effect” once. If I remember rightly lots of people get this, it’s all to do with the routine and that because you know the route so well, it seems like you ‘zone out’.

Johnah

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[wawabyjohnah]

I have this issue when I use my tablet to view the internet, but doesn’t seem to happen on my laptop. What are you guys using to view the website?

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[wawabyjohnah]

I get number 1 all the time. It drives me nuts too. I play in a brass band and phrases from the music can go round and round in my head between rehearsals so much so that can end up hating a piece that I once loved. Words from songs do the same- they just randomly pop into my head I’m sure just to send me loopy.

Number 2- I read somewhere recently that our brains do the over active imagination/fantasy thing as it produces adrenaline and/or some other chemicals in our brains that we lack, and what better to force some adrenaline pumping than something scary (If I can find the link I will put it up). I don’t do the ghosts or spirits though, I imagine me being seriously injured/trapped by some accident. I’m a firm believer in positive thinking, your thoughts turn in to reality etc, so I have tried and tried to stop these thoughts by thinking of happy things, but it hasn’t worked so far, my fantasies just revert back to the bad thoughts again

Johnah

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