[wolfshades]

Steve – I agree emphatically with everything Wgreen said. Count me as one of the ones who one day nearly “lost it” completely. ADD (for me) wasn’t the problem that needed addressing for the moment – although it was one of the contributing factors.

At that point, I knew I needed to get some help, because I wasn’t qualified to try and fix this thing on my own. And for that I sought out a medical doctor who specialized in cognitive therapy. It worked wonders for me. She would have prescribed something for me if that was what was needed – which was great to know – but she helped me to see myself a lot clearer than I could have on my own.

Just offering this up in order to provide yet another view on things. Hope you are able to get things sorted soon!

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[wolfshades]

Congrats, DubRod. Seems weird saying that about a diagnosis, ever, but most of us here understand what it means. Finally, an answer to all of the inconsistencies you grew up with, and a reason for the workarounds you created for yourself in order to function.

Such great news when what you’ve suspected for so long finally gets confirmed.

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[wolfshades]

(oops)

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[wolfshades]

You’re welcome. After doing some more reading, I *think* the way it works is this: IOS5 will give you the reminders app. But to get the voice assistant, you need to get the new iPhone 4S.

Looks like I’ll be putting most stress on the credit card next week.

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[wolfshades]

no_dopamine: you’d be surprised. In fact, cellphones (not even talking about smartphones here) continue to ping their location to cell towers even when the phone is off. The only sure way to go off the grid is to remove the battery.

The GPS just adds another level of “location awareness”. All iPhone users are already on the grid, so this new utility would just make that dynamic a bit more useful to us.

I think my reminders would be a bit more basic. Like “phone your sister to wish her a happy birthday when you get home”. Or “pick up the theatre tickets at (xxx) before you go to the airport”. But your point is well-taken: this might not work for everyone.

KrazyKat: there is no setup. It’s just there. In the infancy of voice recognition technology, you had to sit and “train” your computer to understand your voice and inflection, and you were limited to specific commands. This new one allows for more casual use. You can say “should I wear a raincoat today?” and it will interpret to “is it going to rain out?” and will respond accordingly.

I forgot to mention: the voice command thing will also allow you to send messages – SMS as well as emails.

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[wolfshades]

Aaaah. The tangents. Man I love the tangents – they are so much fun. Though not for other “normal” people, who wonder if I’m crazy. Some of them get quite frustrated too. “I thought we were talking about (whatever). Can’t you keep on the topic?” Answer: “no, and why would I? Tangents allow me to explore so much more than this nice tidy little linear topic.” I have noticed a few others who warp and weave their discussion like I do (my daughter, for one) and frankly – those conversations are so appealing that anything less than that is a let down. Which is why I hardly ever use my phone, or even answer it sometimes – if I know that a “strictly linear” person is on the other end.

And in other news – my daughter and I are both pretty sure she has ADHD too. Go figure. Wonder what our first clue was. Unfortunately, it would be hard for her to follow up and get any kind of appointment, as she lives in a pretty remote area.

Another thing you mentioned, KrazyKat: the inability to come up with the right response when you need it. I’m the same (sometimes). At other times, I won’t even give any thought to social niceties, and just blurt out exactly the right thing. Usually that happens when I”m not the focus of the discussion though. Often times, folk laugh, mostly because my reply is so honest but blunt. That’s fun.

But that leads to another thought: ever notice that there are times when you’ve been insulted but didn’t know it until much much later? I have. (Occasionally I don’t even see it until someone else points it out). Another good byproduct of ADHD, I think. At the time of the insult, my brain is busy processing whatever other shiny ball happens to have captured my attention, and I miss the jab. It’s a good deal because – who wants to carry around negativity when there are all these other great thoughts floating around, just *begging* to be considered?

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[wolfshades]

Tea, I remember being at one of Dr. J.’s seminar where he talked about this. I think I remember him saying that the meds won’t actually serve to change our behaviours – they just serve to quieten us enough so that we can think straight. He suggested that the second part of ADHD treatment is to get some counselling or coaching (I think he may have mentioned CBT – cognitive behaviour therapy). The coping mechanisms we’ve used all of our lives often turn into habits which we sort of need to address, so that we can form new habits.

I haven’t gone for this yet, but definitely see the need for it for myself.

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[wolfshades]

You hit the nail on the head, Stash, with that one term “coping strategies”. It’s how most of us got through life until now – learning ways to circumvent experiences, and in some cases, learning how to lie well (because those missed anniversaries and birthdays and forgotten names gets a little embarrassing to have to to admit to, after years of it).

Don’t know what to tell you about how to lessen the focus for the upcoming testing. Mostly because I couldn’t, either. There are so many shiny things to now remember in a new light, that it’s like telling someone “don’t imagine there’s a tiny purple dinosaur over there in the corner.” (You now know that’s ALL they’ll think about now)

Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

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[wolfshades]

MonkeyBarb: Oh yes. I don’t know how you would get around it though. Maybe if it’s spousal thing, there might come a point (for some, not for everyone) when the non-AdHD partner can begin to realize “this is who I am” and go on from there. But when it comes to others? Probably too much to expect them to understand.

Still though – it’s so embarrassing to have to apologize all the time. But, you have to, don’t you? Can’t tell you how many birthdays I’ve missed, or the times I’ve been late – all because I found something that caught my eye when I was on my way to go to that thing I was supposed to do. (Like now, for example. I have an appointment at 11:30 but here I am, reading all these delightful thoughtful stories and responding, instead of getting ready)

As for the socks thing: YES! I decided a long time to not only buy the same colour socks (I have an equal number of black socks and an equal number of white socks), but the same brand. And I don’t buy one or two pair at a time. I buy a a whole bunch of them, from the same store every time. Matching problem solved.

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[wolfshades]

KrazyKat: remember when you first took the totallyadd.com self-test? Remember the excitement as you started to realize, you were hitting almost every single indicator? I do. It was so amazing. “Validation” and “epiphany” are the two words that described my experience. I knew that I knew that I *kNEW* this explained so much of what I’d gone through in life. It was like – I was stumbling around in the dark before, thinking that the ambient light was truly all there was. And then, after taking the test, a big bright light got switched on and suddenly I realized that low-light dynamic wasn’t what everyone else was experiencing.

After attending a few of Rick Green and Dr. J.’s seminars, I knew that validation wasn’t, um, valid just yet – and that i needed to get thoroughly tested. I had no idea it would take so long. It was like the world’s longest foreplay. And then, after $1000 and months of waiting, the results came back. The psychiatrist sat me down and showed me the chart, which included what a “normal” person looks like, and then where I was – which was almost completely off the charts. It’s a wonder I ever managed to cross a road without getting distracted and then run down by a car. And THEN there was true validation. It wasn’t the “sudden lightbulb” experience again though – it merely brought a deep deep sense of satisfaction that I was right.

So of course when you tell someone, and they come back with “oh I have that” you sort of want to punch them. It’s not a “this is my condition, not yours” sort of territorial thing. It’s an unconscious devaluation of what you just told them. Like the condition “belongs” to everyone, when you know damned well you went through hell to get to this point.

I think, now that the emotion of the whole discovery has gone by, I can probably cope a little better, rather than gritting my teeth. A good response might be: “really? Because OMG if you do have it, you shouldn’t ignore it. You should really go to a psychiatrist who specializes in this condition, and get the tests done. If you go to the one I saw, you’ll end up seeing a psychometrist and a psychologist as well, and get ready to pay $1000 because the tests are fairly intense because they want to rule out a lot of other mental conditions. And they certainly want to rule out the normal distracted experience that everyone sometimes get. Now that you suspect you have ADHD, don’t you hate it when everyone else presumes they do too, even though you know they don’t?” And then you pat them on the shoulder in commiseration. (And you smile your evil smile)

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[wolfshades]

munchkin: glad this resonated with you. I hope your hubby can see the changes for what they are. Better late than never, right?

billd: mine too. My bike creeps me out so bad, I had to sell it.

quizzical: I don’t suppose your mother ever came around to your way of thinking on this?

I’ve told my respective bosses about it (they keep changing and I feel the need to update them), and so far, they’ve been pretty good about it. At least they don’t throw it back in my face the way some of my “friends” have. Ah well.

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[wolfshades]

@stash: I just realized: even through my adult life I was injuring myself one way or the other too. And it seemed always to be stupid stuff: falling down a short flight of stairs that didn’t pose a problem for anyone else; I even broke my leg getting *onto* a bus if you can believe that. Like you said: “clumsy incidents”. Never put two and two together before your last post here, but it makes sense. Every time something happened, I *know* my mind was far off somewhere else instead of concentrating on what I was doing.

Most embarrassing adult incident: it was a sunny day and I was out for a walk at noon hour. I was wearing a long coat, and my hands were thrust deep into both pockets. Once again – my mind was busy playing games with itself, and having a lot of fun. My foot caught something on the sidewalk, and down I went. Only, because my hands were so deep into my pockets, I couldn’t get them out in time.

A car stopped and someone asked if I was OK. I told them I was, but I really wasn’t: the entire right side of my face was scraped raw and bleeding, and I think I got a black eye out of the deal too. My boss was horrified when I got back, and she asked me if I had been in a fight. When I told her what happened, she didn’t believe me. I know this because she said “it’s OK. You can tell me. You were in a fight weren’t you?”

I can laugh about it now. But back then – not so much.

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[wolfshades]

KrazyKat: you might want to mark down a list of questions to bring to your appointment. I did that, and made a list of all of the things I had noticed that lead me to realize I might have ADHD as well. I was sure I’d forget otherwise (in itself, somewhat of a symptom!). That way you might not be as worried.

Oh, and it helps to bring a pen and a pad in with you as well, to make notes when the doctor answers you.

(And if you’re like me, and you think this is a good idea, your best bet is to get them out and ready now, and place them in a “speed bump” location so that you don’t forget. Otherwise – if you’re like me – you will. “Speed bump location” for me is putting them on my shoes so that I have to see them before going out)

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[wolfshades]

Stash: I had to laugh out loud when I read about you riding your bike into a parked car. Hopefully you weren’t hurt (that would not have been a laughing matter) but if you did it like I did, you were probably more embarrassed than anything. It happened when I was a youngster. In fact, I injured myself quite often over things that seemed to me (and everyone else) quite stupid. No one equated the lack of focus as being anything other than childhood stupidity. Go figure huh?

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[wolfshades]

To provide an anecdotal response to your question about how long it takes before the meds wear off – I have no idea about Ritalin (as I’ve never taken it). One day I was forgetting things and losing stuff all over the place and was majorly distracted. Since the symptoms were so obvious, I had to think back and that’s when I realized I hadn’t taken Concerta that morning. The lack of it effected me that much.

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