[wolfshades]

This is a great trick justgal! I used to know the sign language alphabet – wouldn’t be hard to pick it up again.

Of course, there are occasions when about a million shiny thoughts all occur, one right after the other, and it’s all I can do to herd them into a spot where I can easily get to them. I think even a pen and paper would only be able to capture a handful of them. Hate/love it when that happens.

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[wolfshades]

GameGuy: your description of your perception of others is interesting. It sounds as though you might lack a kind of social empathy – which includes the ability to “see” body language and other non-verbal communication cues. If so, you’re probably more comfortable with explicit verbal communication. Is that a fair summation?

If so, I suppose the first thing to understand is that yes, you’re not necessarily getting “the silent treatment” – although, on the few occasions where you might be getting that treatment, you might not be able to determine the difference. (Between “silent treatment” and “non-verbal communication/body language”.). I have no idea how to sort this all out – but I would suggest that some cognitive therapy might be in order. Just a thought, anyway.

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[wolfshades]

I’m on 56. Not feeling depressed but…my sleep is a little weird. As soon as I’m awake, i have to get up. Ideally a few more hours per night is required, but not possible. And the dreams are …..twitchy, in a way. Sounds weird I know, but it seems to extend from an increase in general physical twitchiness throughout the day. So..I don’t feel rested. And the angry, irritated, *twitchy* dreams leave me with a negative mood – but not outright depression.

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[wolfshades]

Jiggyduck: what do you mean? Are you suggesting – as so many doubters do – that it’s all hokum?

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[wolfshades]

Thanks for the update on that, trashman. I agree: their thinking is that enough people won’t bother to fight to appeal their initial denial so the pressure on the entire program will be limited. Which is why if I were in that position, I would already expect to be turned down and have to appeal right away. Probably most doctors know the score on this too. It’s maddening but probably effective, from the disability insurers and CPP view.

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[wolfshades]

Welcome, Faequine! I think you’ll find a lot of stories here that will likely be similar to yours – one of the shining benefits of this site, frankly.

I don’t envy you your school program. I’ve tried so many times to take the odd technical course at my workplace, only to lose interest so quickly. I’m much more of a “hands on” guy, willing to “suffer” the adrenalin rush of messing up badly, over trying to memorize a lot of boring stuff. Only learned recently (a little over a year ago) that I have ADHD. Then the lights came on, and a lot of things started to make sense.

Looking forward to reading more about your experience. Cheers!

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[wolfshades]

Well I recognized the same thing in myself and my daughter too. Up until getting diagnosed, I thought it was pretty normal, really, and that those who didn’t ramble were just…..dull. It’s a weird thing when you suddenly realize that it’s not all of those millions of drivers who are driving the wrong direction on the highway, all coming at you. It’s you.

Still, I kind of like the flashes of inspiration that hits, especially when conversing with similarly “afflicted” people, like my daughter, and another friend of mine. We can talk for hours, and ramble all over the virtual countryside, while others look on in horror, wondering why we can’t have a simple linear conversation.

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[wolfshades]

No problem, trashman. I was just curious. Thanks for sharing your story.

I wonder: was your disability approved the first time through or was it rejected and you had to appeal? My understanding that all submissions are rejected at first as a matter of course.

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[wolfshades]

toofat: this site was established in Canada. I believe it was started either at the same time or shortly after the film “Totally ADD and Loving It” was produced for PBS stations all over North America (the globe now? Not sure.) The list of credits for people who are now involved in it is long: http://totallyadd.com/credits

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[wolfshades]

I would imagine all of us exhibit signs of all three characteristics. But if you had to pick just one – one that seemed more prominent than the rest, which would it be?

Mine would be the third one. Big time.

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[wolfshades]

Trashman, I wonder if you would care to write out your story in a separate thread? Might be helpful to some of us. Or maybe you’ve already done so? If so can you post a link?

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[wolfshades]

Thanks for your thoughts on this everyone.

I too have a bunch of tools that I use to make sure I get to places on time. But still, there are times when I just don’t. Work is one of them. I would not for a moment want to suggest that being successful is impossible for any of us. (Need to say that first). Yet there are some among us who, try as they might, and with all of the tools at their disposal, will somehow never get past this hurtle. I’m saying we can’t and shouldn’t judge them. There are enough people out there judging us for various aspects of our condition: wild unpredictability, inability to stay focused, crazy modes of thought and conversation (to name a few) – I think we need to give each other a break on this topic. I don’t for a second believe it’s a matter of any of us not trying hard enough. And it’s not a matter of prioritizing better either, for some of us. As I mentioned, who would ever choose to not give enough priority to their workplace to ensure they don’t mess up and get fired?

Our brains are unique. And I know it sounds indulgent but the fact is: we seek out things to stimulate us. We gravitate to them, often unconsciously. Stimulation is our heroin sometimes, and the pull to distraction is often overwhelming. I can say this, after decades of being this way and only lately (finally) being diagnosed. I went through so many years of hell and torment, disappointing my bosses, my wife (now ex), sometimes my kids, and most especially myself, with my tardiness. I am not a stupid man. There is NO way I would consciously or negligently set myself up for failure like this. I’ve been late for everything, including things that might be more attractive than others (I.e. concerts, movies, important events where they won’t let you in if you’re late). And I know there are some ADDers who are even worse off than me.

My hope right now is medication. So far, so good. I find I’m still attracted to distractions but now have more of a sense of control about it all. More than I used to, anyway. Yesterday I got to work on time. Bonus! Today – not so much. Still it’s a good feeling to be able to try and finally succeed now and then.

Munchkin I hear what you’re saying about isolation. I never thought about it before but I do the same thing: I don’t accept invitations because I don’t want to disappoint people, and because I know the planning is a hit or miss thing. (If I don’t get distracted maybe I’ll plan properly and make it. God. For me that’s like saying “don’t Imagine there’s a pink flamingo in the corner of the room”. Because you know what’ll happen, right?)

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[wolfshades]

Lazy crazy and stupid seemed to be my middle names while growing up. I was successful I’m convincing myself (and others) that stupidity wasn’t part of the mix. The voices in my head assured me I wasn’t crazy. Didn’t have any luck at all on the lazy front until someone finally said “dude – I swear to God you must have ADD” after which I went through a battery of tests and finally was diagnosed.

Yet there are *still *people out there who insist ADHD doesn’t exist – thereby attempting to negate my entire life’s struggles. So I say “you must think I’m lazy or stupid, is that it?”. They back away, horrified that I took it that way. “oh no….no….”. So then I’m all like “SO I’M CRAZY???? Is *that* it?”. And we laugh, awkwardly.

*Sean Connery voice* And THAT my friend, is the ADHD way

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[wolfshades]

Munchkin – your description of your sax solo fits perfectly and reminds me of times when I was maybe at my happiest. It was while playing the piano with a friend who was on his guitar. We too had a main theme – really, more of a series of chords – but then we both went off for a *very* long time just doing variations on that theme. Riffs that went on and on….first I would keep the beat and keep the melody line working while he did his spectacular musically-acrobatic riffs, and then we would change it up, and he would maintain some sort of grounding beat and melody while I went totally snaky on the keys.

A-ma-zing. And our audience lapped it up like crazy too. I really miss that.

Maybe this serves as a metaphor for the comment about teamwork?

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[wolfshades]

You know what? I go all over the place in conversations and have gotten to the point where I don’t care – really – whether others are frustrated. It comes from having some truly *great* conversations with a few close friends who are similarly affected with ADHD, including my daughter. (Of course these conversations took place long before I even had a clue I might have ADHD – before I finally got diagnosed).

The conversations swoop and whirl, and we have such a great time exploring different topics. We had no idea it was unusual until we joined with a non-ADHD friend who got frustrated because they couldn’t follow our (magical flying) train of thought.

I think now I’m sort of addicted to that type of conversation. I know I can barely stand straight-edge conversations now – especially technical ones. I get bored too easily. If on a conference call, I’ll make sure to drag my iPad up and fire up a game to play while the rest drone on and on.

I feel like I’m a bit of a hippy, frankly. And…I’m okay with it.

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