[wolfshades]

I’ll be interested to see how folk work with theses ideas. I’ve tried every trick in the book: before digital organizers existed I attended time management seminars, used paper agenda systems, then Palmpilot agendas, iPhone and iPad agendas, mind mapping (got too frustrated trying to learn – which means I’ll have to give it another shot at least). So far…I’ve still got projects that need to be done, one of which I haven’t event started on. And yeah, I did the “take a picture” thing too. Forget to look at the photos until months later.

Most of these were tried long before I suspected I had ADHD (before finally getting diagnosed) so as you can imagine its been a long time.

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[wolfshades]

munchkin: thanks! And congrats on getting the work done on your project.

kc5jck: thank you very much for your endorsement. That’s kind of my favorite one.

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[wolfshades]

I’ve read every single post on this thread – instead of sleeping so that I can get up on time for work.

Especially the first few posts, that were written, it seems, in blood. You can feel the raw agony and pain being tardy has brought to some of our lives. Many of us have taken successful steps at respecting others by being on time, but some haven’t. The ones that haven’t (again, in the first few posts) strike me as both intelligent and wise, yet they’ve missed the mark and have failed. In some cases, spectacularly.

These are not stupid, or disrespectful people. One has tried so hard, by consulting professionals and using every tool in the book. So it’s not a matter of a lack of will, and I think it’s probably unkind to judge her – or anyone who hasn’t succeeded. Who in their right mind would ever choose to put their livelihood in jeopardy by not trying their very best to be on time?

This is where the rubber meets the road, and I have to ask: what *really* is going on for some of us?

And so I wonder: is it because of a visceral need for stimulation? Because that’s one of the characteristics of ADHD. Some people speed too fast on roads, or put their lives in danger, or take drugs, in order to satisfy that need. It is highly stimulating (in a negative way) to suddenly realize that “oh my God. I’m LATE! I hope all the traffic lights go my way!”. Perhaps the brain seeks out that stimulation.

And before we judge, bear in mind that ADHD is not a level playing field for us all – and that that there are varying degrees of it, and subcategories of it. I don’t have the hyper part for example, just the inattentiveness. Yet I know that about myself, that I often subconsciously seek out that stimulation. I know that I’ve craved it for as long as I can remember, feeling a kind of high when cramming the night before an exam. I hated it, and loved it at the same time.

I still struggle with tardiness, and am of the opinion that I’m being rude when I don’t get to an appointment on time. Sometimes I’m fortunate and I’m early, but sometimes I’m a bit late, and that annoys the hell out of me, often to the point of self-loathing. It’s not easy but I havent given up trying.

Still though, in the back of my mind I wonder if I’m self-sabotaging, unconsciously satisfying a need for stimulation.

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[wolfshades]

*laughing* kc5jck – that’s hilarious. Glad it didn’t happen on the highway or something.

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[wolfshades]

I’ve told this one before:

Got some groceries and brought them home. Some of them had to be put in the freezer. Had a thought about a TV show I’d planned to see, and knew it was on the PVR, so I sat down and watched it. Then I looked at my watch, decided I was tired, and went to bed.

Woke up the next morning, went to the kitchen, and noticed the now-thawed groceries, still sitting there.

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[wolfshades]

Frankly I found the exchanges between commenters truly compelling.

Like so many others with ADD, I had a major problem studying at any other time than the night before a test. So you imagine how much retention took place.

I agree emphatically that the more one can study, the better off one will be. However……I would imagine that for a great number of non-diagnosed ADDers, that would be difficult to do. I was only diagnosed last year so went through my entire life not realizing what was going on, and wondering why it was my peers could do so well, consistently, whereas I could only achieve success in fits and starts. The best marks for tests were achieved when I crammed the night before (hyperfocus), and the worst marks were for my less-than-stellar projects. When you go through this, you wonder if maybe you’re just plain stupid….and then after a while (after proving that you’re not) you conclude that you’re just lazy.

I’ve done well financially but let me tell you: a lot of that comes through being able to fool people. Figuring out methods to get by, skating under the radar, not take on projects or jobs where you can predict your own failure. And then taking on tasks that excite your passion.

I think if I’d have had access to ADHD meds back in high school (prescribed, as a result of being diagnosed) I’d have done much much better.

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[wolfshades]

Front:

“Card carrying member of the ADHD club. Try not to take it personally when I stop listening to you.”

Back:

“SQUIRREL!”

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[wolfshades]

Is Toronto still in Canada? Yup. Last time I checked. I heard at one point that someone wanted us to be our own province. It’ll never happen.

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[wolfshades]

I would sort of expect that the majority are from Canada (I am too, in Toronto), since the creators of this forum are Canadian. Still, it’s good to see people from the U.S. and other places in here.

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[wolfshades]

“This exceptional gift can go fuck right off. I dont’ want it.” I hear you. The sad thing is: it won’t, obviously. I know that I’m no where near where I could have been in life, had I been born without ADHD. And neither is my daughter, who is very bright but just as scattered as I am. She too did lousy at school, and has flitted from job to job.

Since we’re stuck with it, it just seems to me that we’re better off finding ways to make it work to our advantage if we can. I think if I were to dwell on the fact that I didn’t get the diagnosis until just a few years ago, and struggled all through life thinking there was something wrong with me (lazy, incompetent, borderline candidate for Alzheimer’s) I’d fall into depression. Having gone down that road before – to the point of almost doing the unthinkable – I’d rather not visit it again. Took quite a bit of therapy to come out of that dark place.

Seems to me that most of us are round pegs trying hard to fit into square holes. The good news is (at least for me) there are actually places in this world that serve as round holes. Like anything else, I view this as an opportunity to play to my strengths.

I’m no pollyanna. Far FAR from it. Not everyone can make the changes necessary to fit better. Not everyone has the monetary resources even to get diagnosed, much less get counselling or coaching. But I think we do have the ability to make choices where and when we can. If we’re lucky enough – as I am – we can find those places where such bright thoughts can work to our advantage.

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[wolfshades]

I’m with Gary on this one. Maybe it differs from person to person……

The thing is, many creative types are lucky enough to figure it out early in life (most without being diagnosed) and end up pursuing careers that fit their ADHD thought patterns. We got lost in the particulars, but are somehow pretty great at coming up with the initial ideas. I’ve begun to even trust the fact that while I may not be thinking about a problem, there’s a part of my brain that is still working on it subconsciously. I know this because all of a sudden the solution will hit me out of the blue, and that’s when I realized that I never stopped thinking about it.

Many comedians and actors have had ADHD, and I know that my own forays into that field have yielded some pretty cool results, especially within the area of improv comedy. And yes, I do attribute it to ADHD – which by the way I consider to be *part* of my personality as well – in that, the ideas will just come to me, while I’m supposed to be working on something else. It’s what causes me to blurt out stuff in the middle of a boring meeting at work, and most of the time people look at me, slightly stunned before going off into laughter. It’s fun, and I embrace that part of the ADHD essence – now that I know what it is and have finally been diagnosed.

To be sure though, like many here, it has served as a detriment as well. I did lousy in a lot of school stuff because of it. Like so many here, I learned and adapted throughout life (without knowledge of my ADHD) in order to fit in where I could. I couldn’t seem to study as other normal people could, so I found workarounds, and learned that imminent deadlines helped me to hyper focus (with my heart racing). I also learned to “fake it” at work: delegating work that I knew I’d never complete, or avoiding assignments where failure was assured.

I recognize that I’m quickly drawn to stuff that interests me, which often don’t actually serve me at the moment. The corollary to that is that I lose interest fast when there’s even a hint of boredom and drudgery. As Rick and Dr. J have mentioned: the key to managing some of the stuff that we suck at in life is to get the proper tools and get the help we need. Coaching is a good idea, as is (if we’re making enough money) assistants to deal with the mundane stuff. Entrepreneurs with ADHD have learned this very well (I know, having spoken to some): they surround themselves with people whose abilities shine where an person with ADHD will not. If we’re lucky, we end up with wives or husbands who are one of the “normies”.

Having said that, I truly enjoy the “bright shiny balls of thought” that flip around in my head sometimes, distracting me with their wonder. In this, I embrace ADHD as a friend, rather than just a “disorder”.

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[wolfshades]

Just thought I’d come back and provide an update: the new iPhone with the reminders app works really well for me, especially when in combination with Siri – the digital voice assistant. So many thoughts wander on through about what I have to do and I keep thinking “boy I hope I remember that.” And of course quite often I don’t, which can be embarrassing at times, depending upon what it was. Missed meetings or appointments especially. Now, when the thought hits, I’ve trained myself to pull out my iPhone and speak the reminder into it right away.

The only time this doesn’t work is when I’m in the shower.

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[wolfshades]

I’m with billd on this one. In particular as well – it would be great to see:

– number of messages in each area/forum

– time, date, subject and user info for the last message posted

Which is pretty much the same sort of info you see on the TPMG site that no_dopamine mentioned. (and which I’ve seen in many other forums as well). That info gives you a better idea of the weight assigned to various topics – and in particular what’s “hot” at the moment.

The right column listing of subjects last posted is good, but of course it can scroll by pretty quickly any time a new user comes in and goes exploring and replying to a bunch of them. so you end up not knowing what’s current and more importantly – if you can’t recall the exact subject line of a subject that you wanted to follow (or forgot to “star”) you’re in for a bit of time trying to go on a hunt.

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[wolfshades]

It varies. Sometimes it feels like the thoughts are all at once, but often they’re in quick succession. Sometimes I’ll be talking with someone and so many thoughts will occur at once that I have to stop talking for a moment, and then apologize to whoever to them, and let them know what’s going on. It’s a little embarrassing, frankly, but I’ve sort of learned to live with it.

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[wolfshades]

Same here. Lefty.

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