[jojosephine]

I had been misdiagnosed for years. I have a psychiatrists who has prescribed the meds. But I want to find a psychologist who specializes in Adult ADD.

PLEASE if anyone know of any in the York Region area of Ontario please let me know. I really don’t want to travel to Toronto or Barrie. Especially because I want to ask some people to join me for a session. I need someone to talk to and more importantly I feel like I need to have a session with the people who are closest to me so they can hear everything from a third party (mom, sister, husband).

I feel like i have done soooo much research, I know more that most psychologist who don’t know much about ADHD.

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[jojosephine]

That is why I come to this site. My husband has no interest in learning about this.

he says things like “I don’t understand why you don’t just do it” “you spend so much time doing this, why can’t you do that” “you’re mental”, “you’re pyscho”, “your’e pyschotic” etc..

my son (who i believed is being improperly assessed for asperger’s-and I would bet my life has ADHD) will be diagnosed. He is only 5. I really hope that when my son is diagnosed he will take an interest and really understand. He has to be on board because I can’t do this alone.

Everyone thinks I am lazy and have no drive. my mom has always called me lazy.

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[jojosephine]

@sketchesnscribbles
I used to think I was so good at one-liner come backs. Over the last few years it never comes out the way it played in my head. So I stopped. I would bet it is ADD. I just started with my medication yesterday. I am hoping i can be funny again.

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[jojosephine]

Wow.

It is crazy now to think that all these years I was self medicating. I just thought I was going through my party experimental phase. so of course:

cigarettes-finally quit for good. I had quit on and off for years. but the longest I was off was in my pregnancies. but finally for good the physical addiction is gone.

I don’t drink alcohol anymore because over the last few years it really brought out my obnoxiousness and anger plus I can’t handle the hangover any more.

coffee

marijuana-this was the most acceptable (even though illegal), most effective form of self medication. I would take one hitters through the day. It made mundane tasks tolerable. stabilized my mood. and gave me a sense of peace and love towards the world and people. However, it made some of my symptoms of ADHD worse. I was really forgetful and if i took too much I ate everything in the house, I would have an anxiety attack, and become sooo tired.

food (yes mainly carbs)-I loved smoking weed and eating a gigantic bowl of cereal.

hyperfocus on an activity or subject that really interests me-making something or researching. (just noticed this as a form of self-medication)

in my 20’s I did ecstasy. Going to dance parties-not on a daily basis (weekend a few times per month). I loved the way I felt-but I guess everyone does (I wonder how it affects the ADD mind versus a normal mind). I always thought it affected me different. I didn’t just want to lay around and cuddle and touch and have sex like everyone else. It was the furthest thing on my mind. I would dance the whole entire night (like 8 hrs straight) that was so much fun. I had never tried it out side of the dance party scene (probably a good thing because I probably would have been able to function better in life and would have become dependent on it). I would never take enough to look weird like some people at parties. (Eyes rolling back or sketchiness) etc.. I eventually stopped because one day at an after  party which usually started at 6 in the morning. usually lounging time. and everyone was coming down. I saw what years of this life did to people. People missing teeth, horrible skin, sketched out personalities. It scared me. I have craved that feeling though over the years of course getting less and less with age.

Cocaine-wow. I tried this a couple of times and absolutely loooooved it. I stopped when I was scheming on how I can steal this from the person that supplied it to me. I immediately never tried it again because I knew I would become an addict.

 

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[jojosephine]

Thanks blackdog. I have already asked my husband to checkup during the day. And I am doing a lot of reading.

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[jojosephine]

I have debilitating fears with winter driving and bees, wasps, hornets

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[jojosephine]

Me Too!!! I was the graphic designer at work and I was always dumped on to do the ordering of resources and contacting customers and talking to suppliers. There were people who’s were specifically there to do these other jobs. I was always overseeing quotes for customers. They were goofing off at work and going home with the same paycheck and I was doing everyone’s job and making the same money..I should have been taking their paychecks home too. That is when I finally had enough. I quit and due to my experience of doing everyone else’s job, I opened my own business and do it all. Customers followed me. The company I left isn’t doing too well. (I guess because no one knows how to do anything lol).

but I am in a transition phase because when I quit, I pulled my boys from daycare and so now I am doing too much. I am going to put my youngest in daycare for 2 days a week (when my eldest is in school) to work on my business. I like the balance of some days are work and somedays are my children, However, Everyday is homemaker day. I fail at that miserably, It would be a dream to have a maid and a grocery shopper, and personal assistant. Hope I will eventually make enough to pay someone…and people say money can’t buy happiness. I just don’t believe it. That would be sheer bliss as far as I am concerned.

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[jojosephine]

Hi,

Wow you have had a tremendously rough life thus far. Your childhood was very rough. You are so fortunate to be 20. You can make your adult life sooo much better. It is about you.

First, get proper treatment. Get the medication, get some therapy. etc..With the proper treatment and support you can do it.

Simplify your life. What do you need a storage unit for..Don’t store a bunch of junk and pay for it. Just get the apartment and keep it organized and simple to tailor your lifestyle (“Keep only what you need” and “There is a place for everything”).

Next, find out what you love to do. What gives you that “Zest for Life” high. Think carefully: Do you thirst for knowledge? or Do you thrive on being a dare devil? The Drive to compete? or Do you need to create? When you reach success at what you love (you will have a natural talent for it, so you will succeed), it will feel great. If you have to find a job to pay the bills, do something suited to you (eg. If you have to move around, get a physical job). But still work on your main goal.

“My siblings have treated me as a lesser being than themselves because of my ‘defect’ and insist that there is nothing really wrong with me and that I am just lazy.”

You need to maybe distance yourself from your family for a while if they make you feel that way. When you are in a better place you can attempt relationship. They need to show love and support. Maybe in the future.

As far as school. Academia is not structured for people like us. If you need to educate yourself in the thing that you do, you need to find a way that is structured for you. Like I found college was more “hands on” and a lot less “independant” as university. I have the IQ for university, but it was the structure I was bad at. Even worse, online/correspondence courses. I am really good and enjoy researching stuff. I wish there were courses where they give me a syllabus (outlined subject list), and I could just research then they can test my knowledge by an interview. Or if it were an online course, there would have to be a catchy interface or some dynamic multimedia. Just reading text is no good. Aaaanyways….Find what you love and work towards that goal.

You have a lot of support here. Take it from me, I am 20 years further down the road. Between your age and my age, my life was greatly impaired from my untreated and “unknown” ADHD.  I (3 failed marriages and countless other relationships/friendships, couldn’t complete any post secondary education, couldn’t keep a job, and no career, home always in shambles). Don’t let this happen to you. I am soo excited to get it right.

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[jojosephine]

Oh that definitely contributes to why I don’t like concerts, packed bars, sporting events, Christmas shopping (shopping in general). I always wondered why I had a different view on these than most.

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[jojosephine]

Well I don’t have much of a choice. I have to try the medication to get me going in the right direction. It is getting quite bad across all areas of my life.

I am seeing my psychiatrist one week today for the first time and I am getting so excited, nervous, scared. I can’t wait for it. I hope it doesn’t take long to find the right dosage for me.

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[jojosephine]

Yesterday I baked a cake…when the timer went off i went to go and get it…it wasn’t in the oven…it was still on the counter..batter in pan.

Oh ya and three days ago, after I came out of the store, I had thought my house key (which detaches from my car key) had fallen of in the store. I grabbed my two year old (well past nap time) and searched the whole store for an hour. Then searched my car for another half an hour. I thought of how I could break in my home. Got home and it was in the door.

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[jojosephine]

Thanks for your responses.

So I did it. I went out for some fine Indian Cuisine by myself. I “pretended” to read a book. Now I say “pretend” because I had fully intended on reading it, but found myself distracted by the conversations around me. I really enjoyed listening to other people’s conversations on my own terms without having to pay attention to paying attention or worry about blurting out inappropriate things at the wrong time. Then I went to a coffee shop and did the same thing. It was nice.

Last weekend my hubby threw a surprise birthday party for me. Most people would have flourished in the delight of it all. The first thing I thought of was OMG, ‘what state is the house in?’. I mean my hubby tidied up and did the floors where the guests were going to be hanging out. But the fine details that other people see, like the mirror in the bathroom, the toilet, and the layers of dust etc, etc. I usually spend days cleaning before people come over.

Then I was petrified by fear.  I have to talk with all these people and not be distracted or impulsive? Which, I am so aware of now. I must have come across as real sketchy. My hubby put a lot of heart and soul in this. It actually stressed him out a lot and really appreciated it, but my husband doesn’t understand how hard it is to deal with this. I found I had a lot of internal checking the whole evening. I was exhausted by the end of it.

This has made me think about my friendships throughout life. Every year I had one close friend that usually associated with a group of friends. (I always saw people with one close buddy within a group. I often cam in and out these groups, usually attached to someone if there was a solo person in the group). More often though I would break-up a ‘buddy duo’ and attached myself to the most appropriate candidate. I had this power that I could with my smarmy personality rip friendships apart and take who I wanted for my buddy, which is weird because I had/have such ridiculous low self-esteem.  My friendships with my buddy were very close, full of adventure and a lot of fun, usually “pushing the envelope”. These births and deaths of these friendships always coincided with the school year. My family would move to the family cottage for the summer and I guess I didn’t keep in touch. I don’t know if it even bothered me that these friendships ended. I welcomed the change and the excitement of getting to know someone new. Anyone out there have or had this pattern?

Anyways, Are there no adult ADD support group cause we are “socially awkward” ? or because there just isn’t the population out there?

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[jojosephine]

I don’t have any good tips. I do the same..please people do share.

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[jojosephine]

ugggggh friends sound like so much work and time. I want to have face to face friends that have ADHD and understand what it is like to live with this. Are their support groups that people can meet people. Are there enough people in one geographic location?

to0 funny @dithl

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[jojosephine]

I have been battling this one but I am being pulled to the love her side. After all, I believe she has suffered ADD her entire life. My story is a little different, but it is about my mom.

A red flag went up for me in (’84) grade 6  when I didn’t complete a creative writing assignment (which shocks me because it would be right up my alley now-I will try to understand that later). They looked at my behaviour and my performance at school. The testing began and I was diagnosed with mild ADD. The consensus was to not give me meds and teach me learning strategies and gave me extra time for tests and exams. When I was told I had a learning disability called Attention Deficit Disorder and explained it as being unorganized and easily distracted. I don’t remember being told how important it was to keep a check on it for the rest of my life. I kind of forgot about my ADD. but my life reflects that I was greatly impaired by it in adulthood. I am 40 now waiting for treatment.

Should I be angry with my mom for

1. Not putting me on meds?

2. Not educating me enough over the years until I truly understood the magnitude of this disorder?

3. Instead of being disappointed in me over and over again after all of my failures, should have recognized that I was drowning in this disorder. After all she should have educated herself after finding out her 11 yr old had this disorder.

4. Fully excepting it now.

Or should I understand and forgive and make sure this doesn’t happen to my son.

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