[jpsimard]

I think this is one of the cases where if you’d ask 100 people, you’d get 100 different answers. I’m a classical musician, so I lean towards the classics… then again, I could also lose myself in jazz, musical theatre… rock… whatever is just… good!

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[jpsimard]

KO – I think it’s important that you see a SPECIALIST in Adult ADD/ADHD. I am pretty much the POSTER CHILD for ADD symptoms, and my diagnosis went pretty smoothly. Find yourself a specialist, and buckle down for the assessment period. Doctors can be wrong, but you can too. Go in with an open mind, and just -talk-.

That was the hardest part for me… was not playing up my symptoms to SHOW the doctor what I thought I had. So I went in and tried to just be me… and he was pretty skillful at navigating around my stress/nerves/whatever. Best of luck, and keep us posted.

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[jpsimard]

I sleep easily, always have. That being said… I exercise daily, I eat well (limited fast food, moderate caffeine intake, lots of fiber, very little meat – basically follow the Canada Food Guide) and pay special attention to what’s going on before I sleep. I cut down the light, and stay away from electronics for the last half hour/hour before bed.

I’m pretty sure there is a video on the subject on here. I’d check it out if I were you.

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[jpsimard]

Oh, speaking of MUDDs… for any of you into Vampire: The Masquerade, 3rd ED… there is an AWESOME game. http://www.sanguinus.org

I used to be an ST there, and I am very fond of the staff and the way the game is played. I’d definitely recommend setting boundries there almost immediately, though. They have a hardcore crew that I think spend all their free time on there, so just establish how much you’re willing to play, and how long in any given scene.

There. I just outed myself as a nerd. A NERD.

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[jpsimard]

What toofat said. Seriously. You can wonder until the cows come home, but only talking to a pro will settle it.

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[jpsimard]

Totally a righty.

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[jpsimard]

Greta,

Glad I helped! At least that I helped you feel better, which is really the best first step.

The self esteem issue, if your hubby does have ADD is pretty heavy. I’m just about to turn 32 and was diagnosed just over a month ago, so I feel his main there. Keep at it, and keep us posted?

– Justin

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[jpsimard]

Hello Greta,

It is entirely possible that your husband might have ADD/ADHD, just from what you’ve described. That being said, I’m a professional musician, and not a psychiatrist. I’d like to take a stab at answering your questions, at least from my own limited experience.

1) There has to be people out there feeling the same way. I wouldn’t doubt that AT ALL.

2) Your second question is more of an (un-stated) two parter. Given the stigma that “mental illness” has, I wouldn’t be too surprised if your mother in law is entirely biased against it. Why would someone want to think that their child has a “defect”. (I disagree, and feel it is a gift, not a defect!)

As for approaching your husband on this…. this is delicate, and hard, and if it is anything like what happened to me… it’s going to be difficult. My girlfriend (of eight years) approached me TWICE on the subject of getting evaluated. The first time I said flat out “No!” and I was -incredibly- upset that she could possibly think that I have this “defect.” The second time… she was so earnest, almost heart breakingly so, that I said that I would -consider- it. I then forgot about it (COMMON ADD/ADHD PROBLEM!) until one night, I was channel surfing and my curiosity alighted me on ADD and LOVING IT?! From that, I took the test on this site… and the rest is history. I should also add that this all occured within the last three months or so.

So my advice to you, based only on MY LIMITED EXPERIENCE would be to work on your relationship with your husband. After five years of obvious strain, any approach you would make MIGHT seem like an attack on him. (Based on my own bias, here). The only reason I was able to hear what my girlfriend had to say is that we were actively working on improving our relationship. I’d HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you follow Dr. Ned’s advice from this blog post:

http://totallyadd.com/20-marriage-tips-from-dr-ned-hallowell/

NOW. All of that being said, with my add rant complete… I think the easiest way to approach your husband is through your son. I’m not saying that you use your son as a pawn, but you might want to talk to your family physician about your son, and about your concerns about him. If the process leads to a diagnosis you’ll be saving your son a whole lifetime worth of “issues”, and as a part of the assessment process, they’ll want to talk to your husband. Every parent loves their child without question, and I feel like that MIGHT be a good way to get him at least to open his mind about it.

That being said, we ADDers are an observant bunch with a brain that runs like a Ferrari. Approach this as honestly as you can, and I’d start by working on the marriage.

Love,

Justin

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[jpsimard]

I think that I would go to your family physician and talk to them about it. Is this your first child?

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[jpsimard]

Just to be a smartass, there is so much focus of it on this website because it is specifically for people, and people who know those of us who suffer with ADD/ADHD. To complain about on here is rather akin to going onto a Red Green forum and saying:

“If Red Green, Bill or Harold fans make up less than 10% of the population, why is there so much focus on it?

Certainly, more than 10% of people must have watched The Red Green Show and found it enjoyable.

Is the difference that people that aren’t fans don’t fuss and fidget and obsess about the show?”

See where I’m coming from, here?

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[jpsimard]

I’m with Brentitude on seeing it as a gift. The ADD/ADHD, while it does have certain negative aspects, has quite a few positive ones as well. I think too look at it as anything less than a gift is giving you immediate psychological damage. It’s a case of looking on the bright side, and actually -seeing- all of the bright things on that side.

Laboxer: Talk about it with your psychologist. I’ve been just recently diagnosed and I came out and told all of my closest friends, and some of my coworkers. I got a lot of the “you’re not taking medication for it, are you?!” typical of people who haven’t done any research, or who just don’t FEEL the positive effects of it. But all in all, no one I told was really surprised at all. I don’t know if it’s anything to be scared about. And if anyone does see you differently, or treat you differently, I dare say they aren’t the kind of person you want to be around anyway. We have enough confidence/self esteem issues without having to deal with any closed mined arseholes.

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[jpsimard]

Brentitude – seriously, try it. Although, I don’t know if I would go with a “de-clutter EVERYTHING”.

It’ll start off like this: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l5o3jc7tL71qzd22s.png

and end up like this: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_D_Z-D2tzi14/TBpoVLLDgCI/AAAAAAAADGc/iqux8px_V-s/s1600/responsibility12%28alternate%292.png

Sorry, those urls are a mess. Anyway! I’d recommend starting off slow. Maybe try Rick’s weekly challenge #2, which despite my desire to be de-cluttered is still kicking my ass. In the long run, though, I think you’ll find the pay off! Don’t give up!

---

Zsasa, I don’t know if I’d ship the piano. Depending on where you live (I’m guessing East Coast, since you used “Out West”), shipping a piano can be both ridiculously expensive and ridiculously hard on the piano. It might be cheaper/better to just buy her a piano where she is! She’ll totally want to play that piano when she comes to visit.

Also, you’re a teacher? Awesome! I’ve been dabbling in teaching as a Substitute here to make some extra money to fund my trip overseas. Gotta say… I love it. It’s definitely a second career choice here.

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[jpsimard]

Totally a gamer here. Used to be PC, but my machine got outpaced by technology, and I got tired of the upkeep. Been playing video games since ATARI. Progression then went Nintendo -> Super Nintendo -> Nintendo 64 -> Game Cube -> X-Box -> X-Box 360.

Currently obsessed with Halo: Reach, although I’ve got a hankering for Deadspace 2. CoD: Black Ops didn’t really hold any interest for me, but… I’m too poor to buy new games right now, so REACH it is.

Gamertag on live: OperaHero.

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[jpsimard]

I’m cool with digital filing, but I’ve also had a few harddrives die and leave me without my data!

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[jpsimard]

My kitchen timer lives in one of two places. By my piano, or on top of the microwave. That way I -always- know where it is. A place for everything and all that. (God help me if I put it down somewhere else by accident, though).

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