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September 19, 2015 at 2:44 pm in reply to: Relapsed combined adhd on concerta . I need help please ! Am I going mad #127435
Hi Kirky, this is a quick post to send a virtual hug, and to stress that you are not going mad – you really aren’t. But you may be on the point of an important crisis. Commitment, 24/7 interaction at home, parenting, time deadlines, organisation, emotional steadiness, juggling the needs of others and meeting our own – these are all pressure points for anyone with ADHD. Throw in low self esteem – your worry about your partners fidelity is all about how rubbish you feel about yourself – and it’s a heady mix.
There is no relapse from ADHD, but perhaps what has happened is that your current love and life situation is the first time that your ADHD has been challenged within adulthood – and it’s all too much right now. You are overwhelmed and emotionally out of control.
Please see your Doctor again and if possible find some talking therapy, You are experiencing an anxiety crisis brought on by your ADHD – me too. You are not alone.
Take care x
REPORT ABUSEHi guardian1993, if you put meds aside for a moment, the best approach to starting exercise is a small but regular programme. Try not to think ‘work out’! Instead just think – I am going to move more. If you walk five miles a week more than you currently do, then that’s brilliant. You will feel better and will have started to get healthy.
This way you can monitor yourself AND your meds in a gentle and positive way. If you can manage this, and all is well you build a bit more into your programme eg: 5 miles a week and a swimming session.
Try and only think about one week at a time if you can! I have a very very long list of things that I intended to do, but because the goals were too big, funnily enough I didn’t achieve any of them! I am learning to think in steps rather than all or nothing.
… cooking a three course meal for friends – bored by the recipe hunt, forget it…join a gym, pay a lot of money for a years membership, go twice, bored…write a children’s novel, to me awesome ideas and plans which make for a heady format, bored by chapter two……… oh dear…
Small steps – this is the future!
REPORT ABUSEPlease report this man – don’t hesitate. As others are saying, he is definitely a charlatan.
I was diagnosed with ADHD at 54 – my whole life explained – wow, what a relief. Please don’t take on board this ignorant man’s view, and continue to find the right people to help you. For me, I have problems as a result of ADHD, but also know that that many of my magic moments and successes in life are because of ADHD. Knowledge and understanding is helping so much. Don’t give up!
REPORT ABUSESpaghetti – never eat this on a first date either! Always a nightmare.. x x
REPORT ABUSEI don’t think you will grow out of it! For me when I am eating at home and feel relaxed, I spill food down me all the time – unthinking eating! But when I go out with friends to eat, I deliberately eat more slowly and carefully so that this doesn’t happen. Left to myself I shove food into my mouth while reading a book, TV on, internet on and often music too – more ‘dinner medals’! And I’m 54.
REPORT ABUSEWow everyone, you are putting me to shame – I’m still on two huge mugs of fresh coffee to get going in the morning, followed by toast or granola…. then methelphenidate (sp?) and a cigarette! I haven’t thought about diet at all. Time for homework!
REPORT ABUSEYou are all cheering me up! It is so easy to become absorbed in the bigger picture – often problematic – and miss the small moments in a day. I am grateful that I have a small garden that is full of colour and late fledgling birds – taking care of this small space and looking at beautiful plants gives me so much pleasure and sooths my soul. For the two friends who called me last night, for drinking my breakfast coffee sitting in the sun, for the spontaneous tight hug that an elderly dear friend with dementia gave me after I had put her shoes on the right feet….Blackdog, I’m going to take up your idea and try and write a list each night before going to bed x
REPORT ABUSEHi hum4an, just a quick few thoughts – there is nothing wrong with writing everyday! Many authors, journalists, diarists and private individuals have kept daily ‘journals’ since the beginning of literacy.
A question – are you writing because of a long ago early childhood experience of not being listened to? Do you write because you haven’t learned how to tell another person your thoughts and feelings – has writing become a personal substitute for conversation?
Linking to this, I know for example that I have a small nugget of ASD – autistic spectrum disorder within some of my thinking, alongside ADHD – I hate sitting next to people! We are all complex aren’t we, as are non ADHD people. Spend a little time NOT comparing yourself to others and imposed expectations, and begin to learn how to be comfortable with who you are. So you write tons and have a need to ‘get out’ what is in your head – cool. This is one part of who you are.
Sounds alright to me!
Try and build your self esteem and focus on your strengths, as well as coming to terms with some of your more eccentric traits. We are all quirky – it’s how we feel about our quirkiness that makes the difference.
REPORT ABUSEHi bspearson, this sounds to me like a testosterone situation and has nothing to do with research – you are being intellectually challenged, like an old fashioned duel, which to me has nothing to do with an understanding of ADHD. This is professionally personal. ADHD is well documented – read the work of Dr Brown as a starting point. You know this……why are you engaging with this man’s games, unless perhaps you find yourself enjoying the ‘game’?
Everyone who contributes to this forum is awash with ADHD, sharing struggles, questions and tentative good news – many are made very vulnerable by having ADHD, myself included. This is not the place for you to ask via your ‘therapist’ ( and most of us experience real ones at some point or another ) whether ADHD exists. You are having a coffee morning conversation at real peoples expense.
Read more, drop the testosterone, and walk away from any ignorant person who challenges the reality of ADHD.
REPORT ABUSEYes – feeling disconnected and a bit lost, isn’t a good feeling at all either as a child or an adult. I have/had the hyperactivity too and as a girl the presentation of this is a bit different from boys. One thing that does distinguish my childhood, is that because there so much dysfunction within the family, and despite feeling close to one sibling, I felt very lonely and sort of burdened. Life was something you ploughed through essentially on your own. For me it was a confusion of unresolved feelings and trying to make sense of the outside world and my inner world.
I am recently diagnosed with ADHD and the relief is immeasurable. I wish you all the best for your diagnosis , follow up medication and hopefully talking therapy.
x
REPORT ABUSEAs a child I don’t think that I talked with anyone for more than a few minutes at a time – I was always either playing intense games by myself, running, daydreaming or fidgeting and wandering off. I know now that my mother and one brother also have ADHD, so you can imagine not a lot of listening or listening expectation happened! As I grew into my teens I learned that when I blurted out my random train of thoughts, ideas and jokes, this wasn’t somehow conversation, so started to hide my thoughts and asked other people about themselves. This has lasted all my life – unless I am in a one to one situation with someone I relate to and with, then I ask all the right social questions to get everyone to fill up the talking time – often a waiting situation until I can go home. I still make big gaffs sometimes when I blurt out a sideways thought or connection which can throw the situation, and then I feel ashamed that I have been conversationally clumsy – or just ‘too much’/too dominant.
The good news is that I have few great friends who celebrate my quirks, imagination and sometimes off beat thinking and there are no barriers – it only takes one or two friends to ease the strain in life – I’m so grateful to them.
REPORT ABUSEAbout 4% of adults have ADHD, but I don’t know how this % is divided between men and women – lets say 2%. All women around the world have been ogled, objectified, rubbed up against at some point, whistled at, had men talk to their chests and SO ON. Women get used to men and boys ‘spying’ on them from girlhood onwards.
I don’t know if what you feel and do is different from the majority of heterosexual men, but am pretty sure that is has nothing to do ADHD.
Maybe you are just another misogynist? Women are used to men being this.
REPORT ABUSEHi runningman, I’m sorry that you are in a place of great stress, with new work challenges just around the corner. Reading your post the thing that strikes me the most is your focus on the amount of self medication and prescribed medication that you and your partner have experienced over a number of years, and that you have experienced a terrifying psychosis. You say that other people think that you have a substance abuse pattern / history – but the important question is – do you think you have a substance abuse problem?
Personally on a quieter level, I know that I drink huge amounts of strong fresh coffee each morning, take methylphenidate hydrochloride, smoke cigarettes all day and drink cold white wine in the evening – I am coming to terms at the moment with how much I medicate and stimulate myself just to get through the day. Something has to give! At 54 I’m only just ready to address this – only five months into diagnosis.
I urge you to find a talking therapy that works for you. Therapy helps us to identify our own needs and difficulties, and a trusted therapist offers a place to be honest and is non judgemental – in time you will identify for yourself what you need to do to achieve what you want. You can achieve a sense of balance and empowerment through therapy that medication on its own can’t.
Try it! x
REPORT ABUSEI agree with other posts here that meds are very helpful and important, but they don’t by themselves sort out all of our individual problems ( or change our personality / unique / special / awesome individuality! ). They are a useful tool that enable us to get things done. What those things are is personal to each and every one of us. Start your med programme with a positive attitude but lowish expectations, and you will be surprised how effective they are. If you start expecting every difficulty that you face to be solved within a week, then you will disappointed.
I am five months into medication, and without doubt they have got me off the sofa, reading novels and doing some voluntary work. I am still in recovery from a ‘breakdown’ ultimately caused by undiagnosed ADHD – therapy, diagnosis and meds have brought me a sense of future. A year ago I couldn’t see a future – so, I quietly embrace and celebrate the meds.
Don’t be anxious x
REPORT ABUSEJust a little don’t forget thing – meds don’t change who we are as individual people, they just provide important support to help us achieve some things if we work with them.
If you can, try and manage your expectations of meds and spend time looking after yourself and building self esteem. Make a list of all the things you are good at, and I mean everything! and a list of all the things you enjoy doing, and a list of all the things that went well today…yesterday…last week… Research self esteem boosting techniques!
I can’t leave the house without having to return at least three times – to shut the windows, back again to find my phone, back again to get my watch, back again to pick up the letter I need to post….always! In the scheme of things I don’t worry too much about these consequences of ADHD, but self esteem problems are big and really matter.
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