[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Everyone is pointing to a key thing I just realized in the last little while. Unless it’s a result of a brain injury, you are born with an ADHD style mindset. So this is all you know. It’s not like depression, where the person and actually remember, vaguely anyway, that they didn’t always have such a dark view of life, they used to have energy, they used to do things, they used to be able to laugh at stuff…

No wonder so many of us take medication for the first time and think, “Well, I didn’t feel any different, but everyone around me became a lot less of jerk.”

It’s not that we never knew what normal was. We just have a different normal.

When we get proper treatment, it’s like, “Oh, this is how it is for most people.”

I think that analogy of putting on glasses for the first time is one of my favourite. It’s not a perfect analogy, but it does capture that sense of, “Oh wow! Look what I’ve been missing! I had no idea.”

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Great news! We are doing another workshop at the Science Centre. It’s a repeat (With changes and additions) of the last event. For those who missed it, or were there and wished they’d brought everyone they know, mark it on your calendar. And to get the good price break, book now. It’s on the EVENTS page.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

There is all kinds of evidence that brain injury can cause ADHD symptoms. The most common disorder from a Brain Injury is depression. But many other disorders including Anxiety and ADHD and even OCD can come out of a brain injury. We’re actually working on some videos about this, with a couple of experts who have been dealing with this subject.

One of them said that many Doctor’s fail to ask about Brain injuries. But if someone has ADHD symptoms, yet it isn’t there in the family, in other words it’s not obviously genetic, then a brain injury is the most likely explanation. He realized this after working with three different ADHD individuals who had no ADHD in the family. Finally he asked one about a brain injury, and sure enough, the guy had suffered a brain injury a few years early. “Why didn’t you mention this earlier?!” The guy replied, “You didn’t ask.” Turned out the other two patients were in the same situation. Both had suffered brain injuries and neither had been asked about it.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Hi Wrong-Writer,

I take it from your Online name that you consider yourself someone who makes a different. You right the wrongs. Or does it refer to the fact that you feel everything you do is wrong?

There are some good suggestions here. All valid. But I can tell you, the emotional roller coaster ride doesn’t really change anything. As you’ve discovered. The feelings… both high and low… are ultimately just feelings. A few years ago they were joyful, based on what you’d learned about your ADHD. Then perhaps you had thoughts about having it tamed, managed and being fully functional… (Or something like that.) And it hasn’t turned out that way. So you’re feelings are negative, dark and draining you of your vitality. And in a year fro now. Or two… or whatever. They change.

So the way forward is to acknowledge those feelings, share them, as you’ve done here. But don’t necessarily honour them too much. If we honoured our feelings all the time, then the first time we had a fight with our spouse, and thought that dark thought that we all go to, “I should never have married them! I’d be better off single.” then zero percent of marriages would survive, right? Instead, we’ve made a commitment, and as we cool off, and especially when we consider the argument from our spouses point of view, and give up our point of view as being the only one, or even the right one (And that’s hard.) then of course we realize how much we love them, perhaps we realize how stupid or rude or whatever we have been to them. And we apologize and tell them what we told them in front of all those witnesses at our wedding… that we love them.

So the trick is to have your feelings, and yet understand they are just the results of your expectations.

This is the core of Buddhism. All suffering, all pain, is the result of unfulfilled expectation.

Look around at the world, at your life, and you’ll see it’s true. A furious bride at her wedding expected it to be perfect, and it wasn’t.

An angry investor expected their broker to be honest, and they weren’t.

It may not seem fair that our broker is dishonest, or whatever, but it’s our expectation.

So one of the things to do over the next while is to see if you can let go of your expectations, and ESPECIALLY the expectations of others.

And the other suggestion… Exercise. Get out. Get moving. Walk. Briskly. Or bike.

Exercise does more for your body than almost anything else. And it helps in pretty much any and every medical condition, disease or disorder. The movement, the passing scenery, are especially good for ADHD. We recently interviewed about a dozen experts at an ADHD Conference, and it was amazing how many recommended Exercise.

I know from first hand experience, when I did a bike rally from Toronto to Montreal about five summers ago, my ADHD symptoms went way, way, way down. I was the best shape I’d ever been in. And there were moments on that ride where I was totally at peace and totally present.

Please keep us all posted and let us know what’s happening with you.

And thanks for your posting. You’re speaking for many, many people.

Rick

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

It’s an interesting question about intelligence.

I’ve read that 50% of Gifted Kids have ADHD. Which of course brings up the ongoing debate as to whether it’s abnormal and a disorder or just part of the human spectrum. But when you look at statistics like people with ADHD are Nine Times more likely to end up in jail compared to their non-ADHD peers, it sure seems like a disorder. We can’t even do crime properly!

Of course, as I say in my Rant about Statistics, just cause 50% of Gifted kids have ADHD that doesn’t mean 50% of ADHD kids are Gifted.

It doesn’t work that way. Like, just because 1 out of thirty players on the Pittsburgh Penguins are named Sydney, doesn’t mean that one out of every thirty people named Sydney play for the Pittsburgh Penguins.

And your comment about reading and learning, but not making the changes, is a good one. At the start I read every book I could, which was good, but I did very few of the recommended practices. All the information in the world is useful, but at some point what’s going to make a real difference is designating a place for your keys, wallet and phone. Then starting to exercise. Getting one agenda and using it. And so on.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

From what I’ve read and heard about the high rates of ADHD people in the rescue/emergency fields, I think part of it is we flourish under adversity. From the simple stuff, like leaving things to the last minute so the adrenaline is rushing, to the taking part in risky sports, or having affairs, gambling, and so on.

We tend to be really good in emergencies. The theory is that our brains are kind of asleep. Our filters are not working well. So the 10,000 bits of information per second that your senses are sending to your brain aren’t being filtered out as well as they should be. But it seems when we’re under stress, all the chemicals fire off and we come to a level of calmness and clarity and focus that other people would consider normal. Meanwhile, under the same stress, the vast majority, the people with a normal level of dopamine, adrenaline etc.. now have too much and they can’t cope.

So maybe what Mate is pointing to is the fact that we actually feel better under stress or adversity. So rather than routine jobs that requires detail or long term planning, like say farming, we’re drawn to stuff that’s gonna give us the brain juice to wake us up.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Every expert we spoke to while making the documentary ADD & Loving It told us that so far there’s no evidence that Biofeedback works for ADHD. It seems to help for other issues, like stress, even blood pressure, but as of 2009 none of the studies had shown any impact. As others have mentioned what works best is changing your behaviors (everything from meditation to having places for your stuff) combined with cognitive therapy and/or coaching and augmented by medication. The emphasis was on using the medication to level the playing field so you can get on with the other strategies, and then as soon as possible getting off medication, cause hey, who wants to be on medication, right? The first time I used medication it was a mild dose, and I was on it for seven months. By then I had everything in place, I’d learned enough about who I was and what ADHD was, and I was coping. I had built structures and strategies so I didn’t need the ‘training wheels’ of medication. And I should mention, I was very anti-medication and anti drugs. I’ve never smoked a joint. I’ve had maybe ten beers in my life. You can imagine how many highschool parties I was invited to!

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

My son swears by it. He is 22 and at university. He said it is very even in it’s effect and makes a huge difference in his ability to get his homework done, follow his profs and lectures, and get started on homework or assignments.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

When someone asks, “What is so difficult about his that you can’t do it.” you might explain that you don’t think in a linear fashion. It’s not the difficulty of any step, but the fact that there are so many. Then have them break the task down into chunks, or steps. “What do you want done first?” Then do that. “What next?”

The other option, though it’s a bit rude, is to turn it around and demonstrate that your mindset is different. Like, I could say, “I get up onstage in front of thousands of people. What’s so difficult about that? Why can’t you do that? It’s just walking. You can walk, for God’s sake, can’t you?” Of course that’s just me. But you may be able to use an example of something you can do that many others can’t. “I can sing, why can’t you? It’s just muscles and vocal chords? What’s so difficult about that?”

Mind you, that’ll probably just tick them off.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Newfiepaul, you are welcome.

Do get a proper diagnosis.

I completely understand your anger. And the tears. I was fighting them back myself, several times.

I’ve learned two things about people who laugh or dismiss this. One, most of them honestly don’t know this is real. They’ve only heard the myths and lies and misinformation. When people know better they do better. And they may actually be concerned that you’re falling into some lame excuse or falling prey to some scam that’s going to sell you a product. (A legitimate fear since this has been misdiagnosed and there are some incredibly dangerous lies, especially on the internet, about what works to treat this.)

The second thing, and this is less common, is that people who dismiss this, and are adamant about it are often people who have it. And they desperately don’t want to consider it a disorder or a problem. Why? Well, it tells you what they think of mental health issues. They either fear them or they think it’s a load of crap (Perhaps because their parents dismissed their struggles. No wonder so many Anti-ADHD articles include the phrase, “When I was a kid we had that kind of behaviour beaten out of us. Eventually we learned!” I always think, what if you could have learned and NOT had the beatings? Would you be a better person now? PErhaps, god Forbid, more empathetic to others?)

But mostly it’s just people not knowing. That’s what we’re about, education.

If you can find someone who doesn’t laugh dismissively–perhaps on this website, perhaps in your life, perhaps at our next workshop, or at one of the support groups that exist–it will ease the struggle and speed your process of moving forward.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

A couple of thoughts–The owners of the business have a huge stake in making it work. They’re probably terrified with the current state of the economy. Maybe they have kids or big debt, maybe this store is their life dream, who knows. But the best way to get positive feedback and acknowledgement is to offer it. Become the source of it. See if you can find something to either compliment, acknowledge or praise them for. It may be something as simple as, “You really love this store, don’t you.” Or it may be something like, “I can tell you’re stressed. This store means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” And let them talk. I know you may not be in the mood to do this, but it’s where real power lies.

Get into their world for a while. Hear what’s going on for them. Or imagine what it must be like for them.

Then imagine if you were them, what would you want in an employee?

Can you be that?

Whether you stay at this job or move on, this is an incredibly valuable practice.

For example, when we bought our cottage way back when we loved going out in the boats. A dozen or more times a day. And EVERY time my mom would say, “Make sure you have life jackets, bailing cans and paddles.” Every time. A dozen times a day. Day after day. Year after year. When I had kids of my own she still said it. It drove me crazy. I thought, “She doesn’t trust me. What does she think I am? She can’t even drive a boat, why is she nagging me?” I actually stopped going up to the cottage very much because her nagging drove me crazy. Then breakthrough came when I was in a course and I told this story, with lots of detail, and the woman leading the course asked, “Why do you think she does that? Why does she say that?” And I realized… She loves me. She can’t drive a boat. She can’t swim well. If we got into trouble she couldn’t come and help… And if anything happened to us it would break her heart.

Next time your boss is ranting about something, or your spouse is ranting about something, or your kids are off on a rant, or perhaps even when you are on a rant, consider why.

In fact, what I hear from your rant ‘Tinasha’ is that you want to stay at this store, you want to make it work, you want to be acknowledged and you want to be able to contribute your creativity. If that’s true, maybe you should be telling the people who own the store exactly that.

Right now, they may just think you’re an employee who’s lazy, stupid or deliberately sabotaging things.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Hey, Vhunter, you said Palm technology died, but I got a palm Centro the week that their new model came out. It was regular $350 but I got it for 150 bucks.

It has far more features than I’m using, at least so far. I hate shopping and am willing to buy the first thing just to get it over with but I’ve learned from my wife to make a game out of it, ask lots of questions and find a sales person who actually knows what they are talking about. They love being asked questions.

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

The workshop was amazing! We sold out. A week before the attendance was so low we came close to canceling it!

Suggestion for future reference: Book early. Yes, I know you’ve got ADHD. You can spend the 10 minutes now, or spend 20 minutes the day before when the booking website is running slow from everyone trying to get in.

I especially felt for the people who were turned away, some in tears.

The workshop was everything we had hoped and more. Patrick McKenna made a surprise appearance for a couple of the segments, including a Radio Drama about a couple struggling with the husband’s undiagnosed ADHD. Michelle, the woman who volunteered to play his wife with no idea what was in the script she was handed, was wonderful! People laughed of course, but I was told afterwards a lot of people were fighting tears. I do recall it was very quiet at points. I can’t tell you how many of you came up afterwards and said, “I recognized every line of dialogue… Either I’ve said it, or my wife has. It was scary.”

The only downside was that it was scheduled on the same weekend that the Science Centre was closing it’s show Body World’s show, which features real human bodies preserved in plastic and dissected so you can look at them. (Personally, I think skin is there to prevent that from ever happening. But then I’m squeamish.) So parking was crazy. But Ava made sure everyone was warned to be there by 12:00 at the latest. Some where there already at 10:00 as the Science Centre’s doors opened.

Dr. Jain and I opened the day with a comedy skit. I played a patient who can’t understand why the world makes him crazy. Dr. Jain played himself (Which he did well.) Roars of recognition. And if cringing with recognition made a sound, everyone in the room would have been deaf. There was clearly too much to cover in one afternoon but boy, we tried. There was a surprisingly tricky game show about the history of ADHD, a look at the symptoms, the sections on tools, on the Compulsive Impulsive spectrum, a section on medication, the ASRS test, other disorders that can look like ADHD and much more. I think my section on 36 Tools and Techniques only got to about 20 of them before we had to move on.

The volunteers we had helping us get everyone registered and in were amazing. Thanks to Ava Green, Jennifer Johnston, Jimi Doidge, Russ and Pat Le Blanc, Sue Potter, Lisa Evans, Nick & Marta Green, David Mydlo, Zac Black, David Poisson, Caleb Blaine, Jordan Hayles plus Sherie Roberts, Jim and the staff at the Science Centre. They were incredible. With very little rehearsal time they nailed the lights, sound and visuals.

Anyway, lots of learning and information being shared, but I think it’s safe to say the biggest breakthrough for everyone in the room was, “I’m not alone, I’m not bad, I’m not doomed and I can own this.” Ya gotta love it!

What did everyone think? What did you like? Dislike? Want more of? What did you wish we had covered? What did you wished we’d skipped?

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

You are welcome!

Ah yes, the lack of shame! Liberating, isn’t it?

What did other people think?

What did you get out of it?

What was the most valuable part of the workshop?

Were there sections that made more of a difference?

Other sections that you could have done without?

Stuff you wished we’d covered?

I can tell you, we have already set up a number of workshops with small groups in the next few months, which will be posted under the events page, but we’re going to be doing this again at the Science Centre as soon as we can arrange it.

Jennifer told me that after we sold out there were people outside the theatre in tears, because they couldn’t get in. I know we tend to do things last minute, but please, book early. If we see it’s going to be sold out, we can add a second workshop.

R

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[Rick Green – Founder of TotallyADD]

Is Gabor Mate still peddling that theory?

Wow, I thought that had been discredited again and again.

If Nazi occupation causes ADHD why didn’t the rates go to 100% for kids born between 1939 and 1945?

Why aren’t the rates at 100% for kids in Third World slums?

Sorry, no sale. There’s a thousand ways to shoot the theory apart. I had to listen to them from a number of Doctors when we made the documentary.

While it’s a cool sounding theory, especially with the new understanding of Brain Plasticity, it doesn’t explain why people the ADHD rates of people who have been through trauma is the same as everyone else.

Or why ADHD kids are more active even before they are born.

I understand Mate had horrible childhood trauma. But there’s no study I know of that has shown ADHD people have a huge rate of childhood trauma.

All of the studies I’ve seen, books I’ve read, and experts I spoke to show that there are two ways to get this:

First – you are born with it, it’s genetic, and they’ve actually identified seven of the genes. You’ll see it in your family tree.

Second – A brain injury can create symptoms that fit ADHD. (Is this what Mate is talking about? If so, it’s a small fraction of ADHD people.)

But the first way, genetic, is far and away the most common. Over three quarters. The fact that most Adults realize they are ADHD when one of their kids is diagnosed gives one a sense of how it’s inherited. I can look back through my family tree, and forward to my kids and see it.

If you use the figure of 5 to 7% of kids having this in North America, the rate among siblings is much higher. In other words, if one of your siblings has ADHD, you have a much higher odds of having it than 5 to 7 percent. And amongst twins, who have nearly identical genetics, it’s over 90%.

The fact is, ADHD is hugely genetic. Why it happens in families where the kids have no real trauma (I personally had an ideal childhood in Don Mills, a community designed to be safe and nurturing.)

Bad parenting, childhood trauma, too much sugar… there’s no statistical evidence of any of that.

Mind you, a family with ADHD is already going to have more chaos than average.

But I’ll tell you, every expert we spoke to who knows Gabor Mate’s theory has simply rolled their eyes and said something to the effect of, “Nope.” Too bad, if it were that simple we could eliminate it by protecting kids from trauma.

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