Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
October 22, 2014 at 10:14 am in reply to: Diagnosis negative for my kid – but I know she has ADD – now what? #126154
Hi Tashg,
Great questions. You tell your story very well. And I’m sure it’s a familiar one for a lot of people. Though we tend to think the opposite is true, that the school or teachers WANT to identity a child has having ADHD. But that seems to happen when it’s a boy and he’s acting out, and has other issues beyond the ADHD.
If I were you… and I’m not… I would seek a second opinion. And keep track of the issues and areas where your daughter is struggling. Gather evidence. I find when I get into a doctor’s office, I forget everything, or at least some details, and on the way home I remember, “Oh, I should have…”
And perhaps make sure her teachers understand what ADHD is, and how it shows up in your daughter. Make sure they understand it’s not about intelligence, or bad behaviour, and that so many girls get missed because they aren’t disruptive. (Our Comprehensive Guide explores this in detail. Especially the second video, Embracing the Diagnosis.)
And the main thing I would suggest is keep doing what you are doing. And always be trying new strategies for yourself and for her to find what works. One thing I’ve found is that because it’s so situational, and my own work is so different from day to day, that I need different structures depending on what I’m doing that day. (Or what I’m supposed to be doing. Ha ha!)
Keep us posted!
Rick
P.S.: We’re launching a new video on parenting an ADHD child in the next few weeks. But it’s top secret. Don’t tell anyone. Cause it’s awesome.
REPORT ABUSEThe people I know who have tried Vyvanse have had mixed reactions. Which is probably true of every ADHD medication. In fact, it’s probably true of every medication for every medical issue.
The problem one person uncounted was that Vyvanse was, at the time, still considered a medication for children so the doctor didn’t have any guidelines on how much to prescribe for adults. And this person was a pretty big guy. Finally the doctor handed him the information sheet and said, “What do you think?”
Also, a number of members have mentioned Dr. Charles Parker in this stream. And he is going to be doing three full webinars with us later this year, so keep checking the webinar page to make sure you get in. The software that runs our webinars limits us to 100 participants. Here’s the link to check. http://totallyadd.com/webinars/
REPORT ABUSEHow do you prevent your pharmacist from substituting a generic, especially if the generic doesn’t work as well? Are there different rules in different jurisdictions?
And how can a generic be called an effective substitute if so many people are claiming they don’t work as well? Isn’t the generic the same medication, the same chemical?
REPORT ABUSEHow do you prevent your pharmacist from substituting a generic, especially if the generic doesn’t work as well? Are there different rules in different jurisdictions?
And how can a generic be called an effective substitute if so many people are claiming they don’t work as well? Isn’t the generic the same medication, the same chemical?
REPORT ABUSEJune 22, 2014 at 2:52 pm in reply to: How do I go on ..when everything is being taken from me #125431Dear Just Me,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. Divorce is rarely peaceful, I know, but your situation is especially challenging.
It is especially tragic that he is using your ADHD as a weapon against you. So many people still have no idea that ADHD is even real, or, quite the opposite, they assume it is some kind of permanent death sentence.
When I was going through my divorce, over a decade ago, I found that I withdrew from friends and family, and struggled on my own. In hindsight, a big mistake. So I am glad that you are sharing here. Just keep sharing, and keep us informed. The mere act of writing it down actually helps. It puts limits on it. When it was all in my head it was so easy for me to go to the worst case scenario. (The curse of the ADHD and the creative mind and my natural sense of drama.) (Or melodrama.)
But your situation really is dramatic. But it seems to me that it is not without hope. You have children you love. And no matter what happens they will always love you. They will. I know a number of cases where one parent turns the children against the other, and though it sometimes took years, eventually the kids figured out what was going on and it completely backfired. The manipulative parent is always exposed, and the children are angry at being lied to and used, and sad that they were taken in, and missed being with their mother or father. (Yes, I’ve seen it happen to both moms and dads, with lies and false accusations about illness or being abusive to their children.
But the truth will come out.
I know the future seems uncertain, and I cannot tell you have things will work out, but I can tell you that I have been at the very depths, facing the worst things a parent could face, and I got through it.
You’ve been given some great resources and suggestions here. (And yes, I know, it’s easy for others to offer solutions. It takes something to move forward and do them.) But if you can just focus on the next step, on the next thing, on one thing at a time… which is such a challenge for ADHD… and do that, you will find things start to move or shift.
And though I’m not a therapist, I have found that I can stop my mind from racing ahead to imagine one catastrophe after another, the worst case scenarios, one emotional terror after another, but noticing the moment that I am feeling the panic and interrupting the chain of thoughts. I then tell myself, sometimes aloud, “Stop, Rick! No more! Let it go! You’re making up crap now! This doesn’t help. It makes you ill and weak and afraid and paralyzed. It’s not going to help. And life almost never turns out as bad as I can imagine.” And then I would consciously focus on something else. Or even better go and do something else. Burning off energy, engaging my mind, and getting something accomplished. Just doing the laundry would help. Just tidying the cutlery drawer. Or working on one of my hobbies, perhaps with music or the TV going.
But I would decide ahead of time what I was going to do. I would already have something planned. So I wasn’t left, still in panic, wondering what I should do. Because when the emotional juice is a torrent and I’d be in a swirl, the idea of vacuuming the house seemed trivial and irresponsible. Rather than sensible. Each accomplishment, no matter how small, was a victory, at a time when I needed victories so badly. I saw each one as a positive step, not a pointless little win. Each one was a step forward because that’s what I decided it was.
I don’t know if this makes any sense. I hope it helps.
And as I said, keep us posted.
REPORT ABUSEI have a question: if you do have a friend who has a pet, do they become a six-legged friend? Kind of like a group rate thing?
Hmm, clearly I’ve been on here too long.
REPORT ABUSEI would check with a doctor about the Thyroid issue. That requires some blood work to see what your levels are at.
Mood swings are huge with ADHD. Or they can be for some folks.
When you understand that your mood is the result of your thoughts, in other words how you feel at this moment is the result of what you know, or believe, or are expecting at the moment… and then you have a mind that races from one thought to another, often jumping to the worst possible conclusion… you can see why our emotions can be so up and down.
I know I can go from calm and collected to worried, to downright terrified about something that might happen… all in a matter of seconds.
REPORT ABUSESo good to hear you are making progress! I know that many people find they turn things around and they know longer come to the site as often to let us know how it’s going. (I’m the same way. When stuff’s not working, the world hears about it. when things are going well, I’m not so loud.)
The medical marijuana is interesting. Keep us posted on the long term progress. Our video on Marijuana and ADHD does explain why it can help reduce anxiety, but it’s like all ADHD medications, when it’s not there, it’s not working. And when you stop, it can lead to emotional swings. Apparently, it’s not addictive the way Heroin is, so when you quit you don’t get the shakes, or cold sweats, or whatever. But it does act on the emotional part of the brain, so some people experience severe mood shifts. Which is never fun.
Our video features a number of experts talking about their clients and marijuana. I was amazed at how much I didn’t know.
http://totallyaddshop.com/products/marijuana
The nutritional stuff is interesting. For some people it makes a huge difference. We just did a webinar with Julie Danliuk, after being on her anti-inflammatory 21 day cleanse, which felt so good it’s become a two month and counting change in lifestyle. The webinar is here. Some great advice on which supplements to focus on for different issues.
REPORT ABUSELove this thread. To get going on something creative I have a few tricks. (Cause once I’m started I tend to not be able to stop. Engaged and in the zone. For hours. If I didn’t have to eat and sleep, I wouldn’t.)
One thing is to just write down ideas, do sketches, jotting down key points, or start writing an opening sentence. And I set a time limit. A ridiculously short one. “I’m going to jot down blog ideas for 5 minutes.” And an hour later I’ve got four ideas and a finished blog. Or, I’ve gone 5 minutes and have a couple of ideas.
Another is to stimulate myself with triggers. Can’t think of what to create, scan the headlines, read what’s in the forums, read a magazine and notice what thoughts come to me… When I’m working on something visual I browse through images in a book, or online. Input. I went to a hairstylist back in the 80s who charged a fortune and did amazing work on women’s hair. I stopped going cause who wants to spend 60 bucks on a haircut? Well, not me.
The point was that in-between customers he, and the other stylists, would skim through these magazines that had nothing but ads and images. (Okay, there was some text, but mostly it was images.) They were high end fashion and hair magazines. There were a few that were more general, like Esquire and Vanity Fair… and they would just rifle through the pages, looking at 20 images a minute. It seemed to short to be registering, but it worked. They’d input all these ideas, and then suddenly something would click and they’d begin.
The other way to find time to create is to turn off the television. Or put it on in the BG. Or an audio book. Or music. And then start playing.
And that’s the biggest thing. Play. Give yourself freedom to experiment. And make sure you have time set aside to do it. If reserving time to ‘play’ sounds frivolous or silly, then ‘reserve time to brainstorm and lay down some groundwork’. Or some other fancy term for ‘beginning.’
Know what you don’t have to reserve 8 hours. 20 minutes is fine. Just starting is the most magical, powerful thing you can do.
REPORT ABUSEI agree with Alan Brown about moving around to a different space for working. At the moment I’m on the couch. Usually, I’m down in my office. (Basement. Fewer distractions.)
I would like to add that I used to get upset that I’d only use an organizing system for a few months, or use it sporadically. Now I have come to the realization that I have about 10 different PDF’s I’ve created to organize my day. And the one I use on a particular day or week really depends on what I’m doing. And since working in television is very seasonal, with very distinct stages — writing, shooting, post production, promotion & publicity, I have very different looking work days, and work weeks.
What matters is picking the right one for what I have to do today.
REPORT ABUSEYeah. The quiet time.
So many ADHD college students do their best work at 2:00 am when everyone else is asleep.
It’s called Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome. It’s why I got into show biz. You hit the stage at 8:00 at night, and if there’s two shows on Friday, you’re not done until well after midnight. Woo hoo!
There’s a detailed explanation in our video called ADDeep Sleep. http://totallyaddshop.com/products/addeep-sleep#.UzrOc1xRHfM
It’s tricky because for many ADHD people our brains really are more alert at night. But as self-confessed night owl Dr. Roberto Olivardia says in the video, having a family and a day job means he has to fight his natural inclination to stay up all night with a whole range of strategies.
REPORT ABUSEHa ha ha!
The hard part is when you find a spoon or fork in a box of old envelopes or stuck to a Yoga mat you haven’t used in five years.
Which is pretty much every Yoga mat we have.
REPORT ABUSEGreat advice.
A couple more suggestions inspired by our video:
http://totallyaddshop.com/products/add-mastering-it#.UzHdT1xRHfM
First, use colour. Have everything financial, including your wallet, check book, files folders, accordion files bright green for money.
Get smart phone cases or Kindle cases that are bright, and easy to spot. Have a large fluorescent key fob so you can spot them across the room.
Also, make sure you actually have a place for something. No one ever misplaces their cutlery, because we call have a cutlery drawer. But do you have a specific spot for keys, phones, wallet, bankbook, eyeglasses, etc. etc..
REPORT ABUSEI wouldn’t say that most medicines are a form of amphetamine. I’d say they are stimulants.
The biggest issue for ADDers and sleep seems to be the problem of Delayed Sleep Phase. As Doctor Roberto Olivardia explains in the Webinar we did and our ADDeep Sleep video, it’s basically an issue of having a body clock that is set differently from others.
http://totallyaddshop.com/products/addeep-sleep
If you’re a believer in the possibility that ADHD was an adaptation for the ‘Hunters’ or the people who ‘guarded the cave entrance while the rest of the tribe slept’, it would make sense that we are most alert when others are nodding off.
REPORT ABUSEI’m trying to see the Internet as kind of a neutral thing.
It’s a means of transmitting information. Like a book. A book can be full of valuable information, helpful ideas, or inspiring wisdom. Or it can be Mein Kampf.
I used to be lost in libraries the way I can get lost online today.
The strategy that works for me to prevent me spending hours surfing the net is to see the timer on my iPhone for 15 minutes, with the most annoying sound as the alarm, and then put it across the room so I have to get up and shut it off. And right beside it is my to-do list.
It works well.
When I remember to do it. (Blush)
Maybe my To Do list should always start with, “Set the Timer.”
REPORT ABUSE -
AuthorPosts