[seabassd]

@Bibliophile, What an interesting perspective. I never really thought about the conflict between what you love and what you can do. I think I automatically assumed that they aligned. You’ve got my wheels turning.

I think for me I’m always so black and white about things that I push the  “What I Love!”  idea way to far. It creates a lot of pressured feelings, like I have to find the perfect job or one that I can do perfectly.

There’s something really nice about bringing home that paycheck, even when working a so-so job, that goes a long way to creating positive momentum.

Thanks for your post.

Damon

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[seabassd]

Three things today.

1) I’m grateful for my brother-in-law who has given me “three hots and a cot” …as needed.

2) I’m grateful for the continued freelance work sent to me by my previous employer.

3) I’m grateful for my relative good health. Despite the fact that I haven’t always been kind to my body.

That’s it for today.

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[seabassd]

I can see how a coach in some ways may be a better option at first if affordable and a quality coach is found. I don’t know about you guys but I don’t do really well with groups. I would think having a coach visit in person would be better than communicating with them via phone, skype, facetime, etc.

Damon

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[seabassd]

I’m curious as well. What works the best a local support group or coaching?

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[seabassd]

@greatestislove40, Feel for you.Been there, not so much on Vyvanse but on Focalin (Yuk!) You don’t have to continue taking it if it’s really bugging you out. You can always lower your dose or titrate off the meds slowly. See what your Doc/Prescriber says. If a med isn’t working for me and I’ve given it a fair shake then I’ll kick it to the curb.

Damon

 

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[seabassd]

@Evelyn , Hey Evelyn…Took me a while to get back here. Sometimes I fall off a thread for a bit. You mentioned that 30min./10min approach. That definitely works for me. Sometimes it’s like 10min/5min or whatever, especially when I really don’t want to do something. Like when I’m switching between tasks. Sometimes I really chunk thing super-small (i.e. get computer out of sleep mode). This has got to look so lazy to the outside observer, shoot to me it looks lazy, but it works. Once I’m rolling I don’t need to do it as much. It’s getting started that is so so so hard.

You and @Carrie both mentioned or alluded to meds decreasing some actions. I was thinking the same thing. I’m currently titrating down my Ritalin dosage with pdoc just to see what happens. I definitely got more done when I wasn’t on the meds. In fairness to the meds my pdoc and I have yet to settle on the best med and dosage so things may change once some consistency is established. There’s also the possibility that I’ve got to readjust to the way I drive my body around. Meds may require more directives from me that were usually handled by the ADHD side of things.

Part of me does miss being the hyperactive bulldozer. I’ll need to do a cost/benefit analysis at some point.

Glad to see you moving around and getting things done. Now its my turn to get it into gear.

I think its #6 on ADD & Mastering it Cheat Sheet “Take Action: Start, No matter how small, take that first step. Forget perfection. Build momentum. Make mistakes and adjust as you go. DOING SOMETHING ALWAYS BEATS DOING NOTHING.”

 

Lets kick some butt tomorrow!!

Damon

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[seabassd]

It personally doesn’t bother me at all if someone claims to be ADHD and is or isn’t ADHD. I simply don’t care. It’s their life and not mine. I’m not the kind of person who clings to Dogma. I’m way too defiant for that. I see a lot of similarity between the Addiction/Alcoholic debate that went on in the 90’s. It started with people debating whether addiction was real or not, exactly what we get with ADHD today. As the recovery movement grew it reached out into the general public and grew in variation and group members. It created this kind-of old school addict who scoffed at these new arrivals. Unless you had some horrific war story you might find yourself dismissed. Not everyone in addiction programs had this opinion. They welcomed the hurt and damaged. Some suffered from psychosis, personality disorder, schizoidal problems, and I’m sure ADHD/ADD. I walked in the doors of a halfway house with a broken spirit and a road of pain and destruction behind me which I guess you could say…”Made the cut”, so to speak. Thank goodness I broke into a house at the age of 13, went AWOL from the military at age 22, spent some time in the brigg, stole thousands from my parents, went to jail for car theft, etc.

I remember going to AA meetings or hanging out with people in recovery and from time to time they would say something like, “I don’t think that person’s an alcoholic/addict”. It had this judgmental air to it. Even being young in recovery it would light me up inside. I remember bringing this up with my sponsor and he was like…”Who Cares! They’re getting help aren’t they”.

I personally don’t care what group someone falls into. If it gives them comfort then come on in. I’m a human first and foremost and not a diagnosis or criteria. I spent two years in therapy before my therapist came up with the ADHD diagnosis. After that I went to a psych for an evaluation and he also confirmed the diagnosis. Am I sure that I’m ADHD? No, I never will be, clinical diagnosis or not. Do I see characteristics that fit into the criteria, Yes. Can I get help through forums, etc. that focus on ADHD recovery? Yes

I don’t need the approval of an individual or community to dictate my needs nor do I want another individual to not seek help because they don’t meet the current criteria designated by someone else. Help is help. Positive movement will get you headed in a direction of recovery the starting point doesn’t matter.

I also believe in High-Bottoms. Get help before you hit Rock-Bottom.

Throw the labels away and seek help.

Damon

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[seabassd]

I am so careful when I go into a shop with lots of glass breakables. I also feel uncomfortable in new cars that are really nice. I don’t really mind breaking my own stuff so much because I’m so use to it. I’m rough with just about everything I own. I’ve even noticed that sometimes I’m surprised by others reactions when I break something because it’s such a normal thing for me that I forget others don’t see it as normal.

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[seabassd]

Holy kudzu, I remember The Red Green Show. In the states I believe it was broadcast through the local PBS station. Nice!

Workaholic burnout gives me the heebie-jeebies. It’s a part of a recurring pattern with me. There’s two ways it will go…#1) Work until I’m burned out and frazzled and then quit, or option #2) Have an emotional flip out that forces bosses, coworkers, or family members to back off with the work load/requests. There may be a spot of relief following this but it only last for a little while and starts back up again.

I still haven’t figured out how people do work and play and social on a day to day basis. I’ve got enough energy for one of those things but not all of them.

 

Damon

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[seabassd]

I think I was a bit off on my previous post and I apologize for that. In reading it I see some of my own issues. It has a bit of a “Pull Myself Up By My Own Bootstraps” kind-of feel, which I don’t like.

I hope it wasn’t too off-putting.

Thanks,

Damon

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[seabassd]

@ADDled, I think you bring up a good point. I don’t doubt that untreated ADHD may limit career possibilities or career advancement however not being reasonable about expectations could set us up for failure. Not that failure is a horrible thing if we learn from it. We don’t want to be so timid that we don’t take any career risks. I wonder if we attach too much of our identity to our occupations. It’s like saying to ourselves whenever I become a doctor, lawyer, designer then I’ll be happy and people will accept me but if I don’t get that then I’ll be miserable and undeserving of acceptance and my place on earth. What do you think?

Thanks,

Damon

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[seabassd]

@kristya, I’m still pretty new at this so I haven’t implemented a lot of systems and I’m still working on finding the best medication and dose. Your post did make me think about life actions prior to my diagnosis that I implemented in an effort to counter perceived shortcomings.

I experienced a relatively peaceful 2/3 years following a rough patch which landed me in a halfway house. It occurred between the ages of 25 and 28. The list below comes from that period.

1) Unstructured and fun exercise. I road my mountain bike everywhere, I was on it constantly. Put the ear buds in and just go crazy on the streets of Houston. I released so much emotion that way.

2) Concerts  in small venues where I could get in the Pit and just go nuts in a relatively safe way. Another way to release pent up emotions.

3) Basic jobs that did not require excessive political correctness i.e warehouse work.

4) Keep it Simple was a rule I lived by. No credit cards or debt, simple meals, comfortable clothing, Sat. and Sun off (two days in a row were critical)

5) Music

6) Faith: I had bottomed out and stopped relying so much of my own plans. I would usually say a quick prayer then take a positive action and not worry about the outcome.

7) Small successes that led to bigger successes.

8) Stopped judging myself based on my occupation.

9) Friends: I had a core set of friends who were working to change their lives and together we were there for each other. Really helped with the self-esteem.

10) An appreciation for humility that allowed me to accept my limitations. I saw my limitations and was more willing to work within them. I stopped fighting myself so much and became grateful for the simple things instead of  demanding I be something else.

11) Let myself make mistakes and be human. The time before this I constantly turned my mistakes into self-hatred and fear. I found that people appreciated my humanity in some ways it made them less self-concious around me. They were definitely  more comfortable around me as I wasn’t so nervous and sensitive.

12) I’ll add this one again. Unstructured Exercise. This one was one of the foundation elements along with Faith.

13) Lived in neighborhoods and around people that were less judgmental and more open minded. Moving to the suburbs at one point was a huge mistake. Environment on some levels really does matter.

 

Glad you brought up the topic. It makes me think back to what worked at one point and how those might be incorporated into my life today. I’m 44 now so there’s been a pretty long dry spell since I felt relatively peaceful about things. The reflecting has done me some good.

Thanks,

Damon

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[seabassd]

@ridiculoushit, I think I’m finding that out about medication as well (still working on dosage,etc). I can sit at my desk now without feeling like I’m going to explode, however now I’ve got to start dealing with well…all the stuff …lots of stuff; late bills, back taxes, income issues, isolation issues, etc. I’m sure on some level amends to people hurt will be a part of the process.

In some ways it’s like the ADHD dragged me around from place to place and project to project and now with the meds I’ve got to actually start making the decisions. A little overwhelming right now but this forums and other resources are slowly guiding me in the right direction.

Welcome,

Damon (New member too.)

 

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[seabassd]

Dear Neurotypical,

I’m sorry that I break things.

Everything around me seems so fragile.

I wish everything was made of steel then I wouldn’t have to adjust my body to accommodate the fragility of things.

Sorry for all the rips and tears and stains that I’ve given your expensive stuff. If you paid so much for it shouldn’t it be ADHD proof.

Is it my fault that everything is under-engineered?

 

I’m also sorry for bumping into you and causing you to spill or drop things. It was not on purpose, I just have trouble with coordination at times as well as distance and depth. Sometimes I just plane don’t see you.

 

Lastly my neurotypical friend, I don’t always understand or remember social rules so I can be nervous around people. I do better when I don’t feel judged so try to be forgiving of me.

 

Thanks,

Damon

 

 

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[seabassd]

There’s one I can think of. I know it sounds a little corny but it’s the feeling like I’m being watched out for. Like someones got my back. I haven’t really felt that for some time now.

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