[ashockley55]

Ah! The willingness….I suppose that means I have to have the willingness to be known. Ack! That’s scary.

Good point on the fact that there are others who can help and support. I need to reach out more to friends.

I do know what I want to be, and in many respects I already am that (a writer), I’m just not currently being paid to write.

I’m being paid to deliver fried foods to people’s table at their beckoning. And ranch dressing. Vats and vats of ranch dressing.

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[ashockley55]

ipsofacto, could you describe briefly what you mean by mindfulness, and how you do (or don’t) think of it as opposed to meditation?

Are the two different?

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[ashockley55]

Yeah, I’ve heard that two keys to living well with ADD are finding the right job and the right person.

I’m not…..right…in either respect.

I know relationsips aren’t all the time a bed of roses, even the good ones, but I get so lonely, and many times I wish I had someone to help and support.

But, on the job front, at least I know now what the mechanisms were that have caused me to struggle with my employment in the past. I want to do more with my life than work as a waitress, but now I also know I’ve got to be very careful that any job I take in the future is a good match for me and my ADD.

Maybe I should start another thread asking about the qualities that make a person a good partner for someone with ADD. Then I can copy and paste the answers into a personal ad.

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[ashockley55]

Thanks, Scattybird! Glad to know you enjoyed that. I was hoping noone would think I was just being flippant.

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[ashockley55]

Not only is it a thing, it’s a @&%! thing.

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[ashockley55]

I’m so glad I started this thread, to give everyone a place to maybe vent, and also so that I can feel better knowing that I’m not alone.

Yes, what an entirely ridiculous coupling, the underemployment and/or menial job along with the fiscal irresponsibility.

I, too, am a horrible impulse shopper. Just yesterday I went into a store with a list (literal list) of a few specific things I needed, and then, as if possessed, I found myself going and looking at all kinds of other things. I walked out of there with a cart full of stuff. Partly, it’s driven by my perfectionism. I’m never pleased with anything, always looking to do/get something better.

That idea of trying to only get what I need instead of what I want rang so true. Just thinking about it makes me depressed, though.

I, too, have the experience of running out of money every month, and the horrible overdraft fees! It is so frustrating and embarrassing. It makes you feel like a total loser.

I know I am capable of bringing in so much more money than I do, but I have not been able to sustain any professional job, despite my education and talents.

So, everybody, I hear ya.

I realize this was probably a sensitive (read: nosy) question to ask, but I’m so glad that others opened up and answered.

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[ashockley55]

memzak! Interesting point about the hyperactive/positive outlook versus the inattentive/depressive outlook.

I know someone who was diagnosed with ADD earlier in their life than I was. From what she’s told me, she acted out in school and had a lot of anger issues. She took medication to get through college, then stopped for whatever reason. I don’t know if she developed good coping skills, or has the right job, or the right home situation, or all of the above, but she definitely has an active, positive, take-action outlook on things. She succeeds.

Me, on the other hand, I am the exact opposite. Hopeless and frustrated with my inability to concentrate on difficult or mundane tasks to completeion, also often feeling paralyzed to even start these tasks, I turn my life over to the television, or else, seeking stimulation of some kind, I go off shopping.

She is a Tigger, I am an Eeyore.

Anyway, I find your hypothesis resonates, memzak.

Also, another solution, I always select/highlight, right click, and “copy” what I’ve written just before I hit “send” just in case something goes wrong – if it posts, great, if it doesn’t, I can then “paste” it into a word document so that I haven’t lost it, and can try again. You can try that in case you don’t like the idea of composing in a separate program.

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[ashockley55]

Good point kc5jck! Thanks for putting it in perspective.

I wonder, has anyone ever found a discussion between the two, or at least somewhere that one or the other mentions the other?

I just wonder what they think of each other, or, rather, each other’s take.

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[ashockley55]

Tiddler, yep! That’s what I’ve been thinking about doing…

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[ashockley55]

Bill – that’s a sweet attitude to have – that helping others motivates you.

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[ashockley55]

I’ve had the same experience on the extended release version. Actually, I just brought this up with my doctor recently. I told her that it kind of peters out very shortly after I come home from work. She felt that that was just fine, seeing as how I “don’t need to concentrate as much at home as at work.”

Actually, I’d much rather be able to concentrate when I’m at home, when I’m not at work, thus have the time to get some writing done.

If only I could motivate and concentrate.

I’ve considered waiting until I get home from work to take my dose. I haven’t tried that yet.

Concentrating at work, I could care less about. I get by fine. It’s a job, not a career for me, so I’m not really invested in being my best self there.

Anyway, just wanted to raise my hand and say that I’ve experienced this too.

As the others have said (and as anyone would hopefully tell you): Always address your concerns to your doctor.

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[ashockley55]

I must say that all sounds just about right.

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[ashockley55]

Oh yes indeed, I have come across some horribleness on the internets. It is truly terrible. I think people let that aspect of themselves come out online because they otherwise have to hold it in? Kind of like roadrage – you feel a certain screen is up that acts like a superhero’s cape o’ bravery, and the person thinks, “I shall now say all the mean, hateful, snarky things that I want to say to people when I am face to face to them, only am too scared to do so.”

You can tell that we have disagreements here – it’s not all hypnotized-eyeball head-nodding (that would be kinda creepy), but I feel that for the most part it is done with a certain amount of maturity and grace. We allow each other an out, and don’t attack each other. It’s about reaching a mutual understanding, rather than about ego.

Some places, it seems like you go there and it’s just a big tooth-gnashing snarl show-off for Alpha Member.

Insert eyeball roll here: 🙄

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[ashockley55]

Tiddler,

Toe seams on socks! Agggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

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[ashockley55]

Robbo –

When I was in high school, I spent copius amounts of time in my room listening to the radio, up on my tip toes, doing this dancing-around-the-room sort of thing. I won’t call it dancing. It was more like frantic, listening to music movements. Again, I won’t call it dancing. If you’d seen it, you probably wouldn’t’ve called it dancing either. That’s what I did instead of homework. I did it for hours and hours, every evening, kinda late into the night. Then, tired, but still wired, I’d turn off the stereo because it was getting late, turn on the tv and try to settle down. I would lay awake until the wee hours of the morning.

So, what I’m saying is, I hear you on the music thing. Also, it’s just dawning on me how ADD my behavior was – spending hours just basically moving at a frantic pace, trying to burn off this energy I had. It didn’t work; I think I just built up more energy, and even though I was physically tired, I wasn’t able to get to sleep.

Tiddler –

Years ago, I got a copy of this book “The Highly Sensitive Person” and felt like I was reading my autobiography. I wish that book had a chapter titled “Hey, honey, go get evaluated for ADD. Seriously, it ain’t bipolar.” If I had only known that things like being hypersensitive, both emotionally, and physically, were aspects of ADD. (If only I had known my restlessness and tendency toward shopping were aspects of ADD, and not to the level of mania, but that’s for another thread). When I was younger, I hated, hated, *hated* the long-sleeved shirts my mama would make me wear with the seams that ran down my arm; I would twist them around, but they still didn’t feel right. I hated all my clothes. I still hate clothes. I hate jeans. I *loathe* jeans. I hate the way they feel – so rough and tight and hindering. I’ve decided to wear skirts now, so I can feel free. Here’s an embarassing thing – I used to hate underwear to the point that I wouldn’t wear it. Basically, I hate the feel of seams of any kind on clothing. Panty seams, the in seam on pants, on sleeves, etc. I hate sheets! I hate feeling like the sheet is holding me down on the bed, like I can freely move my feet. Don’t get me started on blankets, or even forbid the layering of sheets and/or blankets. I can’t handle it.

But you should check out that book if you haven’t already.

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