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ahh, now i see – this post has been listed twice but is in two different places on the list depending one which one had been responded to most recently
REPORT ABUSEstrange, i remember replying to this but don’t see my reply now. anyway, i had mentioned that it sounds to me like you have normal passion for some thing but may be enhanced by ad/hd type hyper-focus and/or perseverance .
REPORT ABUSEOOPS! the name is SUSAN ashley
REPORT ABUSEsounds like, perhaps, “normal” passion for an interest enhanced by ad/hd hyperfocus and/or perseverance?
REPORT ABUSESeptember 7, 2014 at 8:02 pm in reply to: The issue of who to tell and who not to tell about my ADHD #125903when i first got diagnosed it was really exciting to finally be able to begin to understand the mystery of me, why i was/am so different from “neurotypicals”. i’ve certainly had my ups and downs since then, lately more down than up….anyway, back to the point….i at first decided to share my diagnosis with some of those close to me. i’ve had mixed reactions and found for the most part no real benefit in sharing, except, to some degree, with my husband.
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was really disappointed when my mother reacted by saying “so what – you are an adult now,….” don’t remember the exact wording that followed, but basically was dismissing any real consequence of the diagnosis, and was followed by “but there is definitely something wrong with you.” that was really hurtful and frustrating, but, well, she tends to be that way with me in general, guess i shouldn’t have been surprised.
what was surprising though was how another long time friend reacted. ever since i told her she’s been trying to get Adderal from me! when i ran into her and she asked me for some, i just said i didn’t have health insurance any longer, so was about to run out myself. which was true, but honestly don’t feel comfortable with the whole idea anyway,and also felt and feel, idk, offended? that she was asking for this like it was some sort of recreational drug to share, not the life changing prescription medication it is for people like me with ADD/HD….and she keeps asking every few months. Last time she asked, she said she wanted it to help her move, but that she also knew people willing to pay for it at her gym…wtf?! i explained i still don’t have insurance, still can’t afford to pay cash for psych visits and med, and am really distressed about it. she said she would pay if i would give her half! so wrong on so many levels!!! so, obviously, i regretted ever telling her about this diagnosis.some good ideas from pp. one thing that has helped me is keeping my keys on a designated key hook by the front door. not perfect – still managed to lock myself out of the apartment three times in the last year – but, i didn’t lose my keys once 🙂
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i also remember seeing something advertised at (i think) sharper image, tracker sets to put on valuable/important items that tend to get lost/ misplaced that you can then search for using a remote locator. and i’m pretty sure that all the newer mobile phones are capable of being tracked, though it may be a service you need to pay for.
but the idea of a small basket for all the daily use small things to go in – great idea.
also had it suggested to me(since our home is in perpetual chaos/clutter, and i was complaining that on those rare occasions i muster the focus and energy and time to do a major cleaning and organizing effort, it’s really upsetting to see it come apart within hours of the kids coming home) that i keep a basket that all toys go into at the end of the night, that the kids can sort through later, as damage control/maintenance. you could probably use something like this for similar reasons 🙂it sounds like with your schedule you would be better off with an extended release type med, and may also benefit from an IR or a cup or two o java for the gap.
but it also sounds like second shift work may not be a great thing for you. like pp have mentioned, shift work – it’s not really good for anyone, messing with circadian rhythm, but i imagine far more challenging for those with physical/mental/emotional difficulties…neurotransmitter issues….
something else to keep in mind that i experienced, and may be related:
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if you are under a lot of stress emotionally or physically – even fighting off a virus like the common cold – it can feel like your medication stopped working. so yes it also might be worth it to get a basic blood panel run, see if anything else is going on.just a note – sorry i just re-read op to see if i addressed your question as i’m being to get very foggy. for some reason i was thinking you had a 3 year old. anyway, basically you can get the gist of what i was saying i think, just the indoor playgrounds may be a few more months away – or maybe you’ll find ones geared for younger kids too. the ones i’ve been to have some areas for kids around 1 year old, but most of the areas are really for the kids already running/jumping/climbing more or less independently.
and if your lo is still in diapers that’s even better – to go do diaper changes periodically and get a break from the rest. and if your child seems a little cranky or needs a nap, nothing wrong with going out for a stroll to calm her(and you!) or help her nap. 🙂
REPORT ABUSEi can relate to everything you said, and it all intensified with my second child, because it was,and is, almost always just me with the 2 kids. i had to stop going to the park and outdoor play areas with them because it was just too stressful all that activity and commotion and trying to keep track of both kids. even when it was just one child, but my parents were there and my mother was vying for attention and trying to converse with me, it would make me stressed and crazy.
what i found was great for me and the kids was indoor playgrounds like “under the sea”. there is only one way in and out, and not busy/loud/chaotic like chuck e cheese(hate that place, but kids love it – i let the grandparents take them there)
anyway, in that calmer environment i can relax and enjoy while the kids play, and can get involved playing too or sit and enjoy watching them. just be sure to pack your diaper bag/day bag well with whatever you need- pull ups,wipes,extra change of clothes, food/snacks/water/drinks, etc – i’m sure you can make a great list for that so you can check things off before you go 😉also, if you are in a situation like a party and feeling overwhelmed by the noise etc, a great break – and a good thing to do anyway – is to grab your kid for a potty break. at that age they forget to go or put off going to the bathroom because they don’t want to stop playing, often to the point of it being too late. so it’s a good excuse to momentarily escape. and while you’re there, you can dab on some chamomile and lavender essential oils. i still do that, especially in large crowd situations.
REPORT ABUSEway to find the silver lining kc5jck!
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sage words, fantastic idea!
kseniia, know that it is indeed common to experience these feelings of grief, sadness, regret etc following diagnosis, possibly more profoundly if diagnosed later in life. i was in my late 40s when i was diagnosed, so had more than 40 years of f-ups to reflect upon, over 40 years of “not living to potential”…and it’s not as if you take a pill and magically everything in your life just falls into place. When i first got my diagnosis and started treatment, there was a lot of “why didn’t i get diagnosed earlier? why did i have to suffer/struggle so long? if only i had this dx and started tx when i was a teen…….” it’s a sad, sad place to be. but little by little, you let go, you move on, you start moving forward.
apart from psychiatric help, support from your peers – like you’ll find here – is immensely helpful.
i also found that working with a lifecoach helped me to re-define what i wanted in life, create and move forward with a better bluprint. something you may want to consider. but also really like kc5jck’s suggestion!yes, as a whole ,i think we add/adhd-ers tend to be rather upside-down. my whole family is, and it makes it really difficult that, though my job is generally afternoon/evening hours, my kids are in elementary school, which starts at 8 am.so the 3 of us are largely sleep deprived, which is not good for anybody. even when we’re really tired in the morning/afternoon it’s hard for us to wind down and get to bed at a decent hour in order to get a good amount of sleep.
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i know when i take my med regularly and on time, then i am (usually) able to fall asleep at a more normal hour – and then the kids tend to get to bed earlier too! i’ve been without insurance(and not enough income to compensate) since january, so haven’t had the luxury of being able to do that for a while.
which reminds me, another thing i’ve managed to procrastinate til the deadline…i definitely noticed this effect with stimulant meds. i however am a person who has always “run hot”, this was a welcome change for me. my feet seem to be affected more than everything else – actually sometimes get painfully hot, to the point i had spoken to various doctors about it(
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and diabetes had to be ruled out for me too). so this med has a welcome cooling affect for my feet. and while i wasn’t looking for cool hands,it’s not uncomfortable to me – just have to issue warnings if i’m going to be touching someone else’s bare skin, which is strange for me…..and when i forget to take or run out of meds the heat comes right back.
perhaps you could talk to your doctor about taking a non-stim type med and see how that works. or maybe experiment with taking a niacin supplement which causes the blood vessels to dilate (flushing) and creates extremity warmth?there are a number of factors that can contribute. re the nighttime bedwetting, something i think many overlook is the possibility that there is insufficient ADH(antidiuretic hormone, which is supposed to increase at night and tell the kidneys to stop producing urine) being produced, combined with really deep sleeping…..”an accident waiting to happen”. there is a medication(basically supplementing the ADH before bedtime), but compliance is very low due to the terrible taste. but maybe something to look into?
from what i know, those with atypical development/dev delays also have more incidence of day time accidents. maybe a combination of delayed maturity of the bladder plus decreased awareness of the sensations of needing to urinate. in my son’s case, he all too often has accidents because he’s too focused on something stimulating like a video game or tv, and either doesn’t notice the sensations of needing to void, or procrastinates until it is too late and uncontrollable. but there are other times that it’s not clear why it happened…i want him to be seen by a urologist for further eval, i’m thinking possibly he may also have irritable/overactive bladder….has your son had evaluation yet with a urologist?
anyway, i also worry about the emotional/social implications. at 8 yo he is already very anxious about it, and petrified that someone (outside of the immediate family) will find out. understandable because kids(and some adults, for that matter) can be really cruel, though i don’t think most realize the impact of their words until much later.
although he rarely has accidents while at school these days, there was an incident just a couple of years ago i don’t think i’ll ever forget…. when i picked him up from school, he had been hiding away from the other kids in the auditorium, he dashed out without even saying goodbye to his friends(which he never used to do)…and he had forgotten his backpack. when i told him to go grab it, he said he couldn’t because he’d had an accident and didn’t want (his “girlfriend”) to know. he begged me to leave before anyone saw him. my heart just about broke for him on the spot. thankfully i was wearing a light jacket that he could tie around his waist to camoflage, while i ran in to get his things.
after that i started buying dark jeans and pants for him whenever possible, just in case.i’ve thought about trying to use incontinence pads with him, but haven’t seen them child sized. and he flat-out refuses to consider wearing “pull-ups” except at night. likewise, he probably wouldn’t be open to wearing a pad for fear of it being discovered somehow.
i guess for now i’ll just wait for the referral to the specialist and then go from there.
REPORT ABUSEi have difficulties with getting started and being consistent with exercise too. also the all or nothing thing….
on the bright side, though it took around 2 years or so for me to hook up the wii my parents had passed down for me and the kids to use, i finally did it, about a month ago. and so glad i did! i find the wii fit is a great beginning(considering i had not been to the gym or doing any formal exerise since i was pg with my son over 8 years ago!). it gives immediate feedback, and has a good variety to get started.the kids don’t care much for the wii fit, though my daughter will try to do the yoga poses by my side, and root for me while doing the balance and aerobic exercises. it also inspired me to search other types of wii games that i would enjoy, and hoped the kids would do with me. so far, ddr(dance revolution) was disappointing, but bep experience is challenging and a great workout. what i like to do is start with the wii fit balance to warm up, then do some of the yoga, strength, and aerobic exercises, and then do bep when/if i’m up for a fun and intense workout.always hope i’ll do this daily, but hasn’t happened yet.
in the summer i like to take the kids to the pool. to add a little exercise more than just playing around i’ll “taxi” them back and forth, or we’ll do races. 3even teaching them to dive is a bit of a workout as i’ll lift them out from the deep end to save time, as well as support them as they’re learning the form (trying to avoid belly-flops)
that’s all i’ve been able to manage since having kids, and being essentially a single parent (husband/father works very long hours, and isn’t very involved the small amount he is around), but it’s a start!
REPORT ABUSEyou are not alone!
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and i’m pretty sure it is “part of the package” ….or maybe it is part of a different package that often comes with the ad/hd gift?
but…you are not alone -
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