[g.laiya]

my heart goes out to you ej. i agree that getting married for some can be a huge stressor. sounds like you also need to get some things/issues cleared up/sorted out. perhaps post-poning the wedding for 6months or a year would be helpful. getting pre-marital counseling might help, as would familiarizing yourselves with adult adhd/particular relationship struggles people with adhd and their partners often face.

hope it all works out for you two!

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

scatty you’re so right that one problem with supplements is remembering to take them consistently! i have the same concern if i go on rx med for this – i’ll have to do a phone alarm system or something i guess. i started a krill oil supplement about a month ago for benefits unrelated to add(wasn’t even on my radar then), but haven’t really noticed any positive changes – maybe too early or too inconsistent? anyway, i do think i would benefit from rx med to help me with add symptoms, but figure supplements can only help, even if just a little.other healthy habits…yes,know they are important/can be beneficial… think it’s just harder for people with our issues. i’ve always pretty much been a nightowl and have had various sleep issues all my life. regular meals? not since grade school. exercise…most of the time seems like i just don’t have the time, but even when i do have time i can’t seem to muster the energy/will. back when i was working regularly and making good money i had planned on buying a treadmill/eliptical for home. sure wish i had because i can at least see doing it while watching tv or surfing the web or just daydreaming….and not worry about needing someone to watch my kids. well, will have to somehow figure out another way. i also have seen a lot of mention of meditation, but i never was able to when i tried in the past. never tried moving meditation though -will have to try that sometime.

i also think add symptoms are worse with hormone changes, and also with stress.

amy, i really understand about feeling guilty about what we do and don’t do as parents.as a parent, and primary caregiver, i know there are areas that are problematic, that i struggle to improve but still come up short. having patience and being prompt…neither are my strong suit…there are others…. i also know there are areas that i shine. i guess our goal should be to maximize our strengths and minimize our weaknesses. my focus is to help my kids be healthy, safe, and happy, to make sure they know they are loved, to teach respect for self and others, ….i could go on and on……and i hope to enjoy/have some fun with them along the way. keeping the place tidy is not high priority…at least not most days. so i , too, don’t like to have people over – at least if i haven’t recently been in cleaning/organizing mode…same goes for my car…it is what it is.

so i’m wondering is being non-confrontational, people-pleaser, mind goes blank/loss of words when faced with strong anger and such part of add inattentive type or is it just coincidence that many also have these qualities? or is it just that it’s more common for women to have these traits?

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

thank you for posting this blog, and to everyone out there involved with the DVDs/programs and totallyadd.com!

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

i also was a somewhat non-traditional student by the time i got to grad school, entering at idk 27?28?. i started off at a really good uni – some think of as “ivy league”….undergrad but left 3 years later. i kicked myself out sort of…was depressed and frustrated with how/what i was doing, couldn’t motivate myself to stick with any classes unless i was very interested, etc…so returned home and then went to various city colleges from tim e to time, worked various jobs….finally found something i could grab onto as a positive school/career move. did what i needed to do to get in, and started and actually completed the grad school – yeah!!!!

yes, some of it was very difficult due to my issues. my performance in grad school was, not surprisingly, very inconsistant. if i didn’t like the subject or teacher i would barely get through – even had to repeat 2 courses which caused me to graduate late. on the other hand, in the single most feared course with the most feared teacher in the whole program i got an “a” in the class, and one of the exams he had to assign my score at “110%” on a curve because i had done so much better than most of the students and otherwise too many would have failed.(a lot of my classmates were actually mad at me then – especially the one who i had copied his class notes to study from because they were so neat and organized and thorough….but he didn’t do well on the test)…which reminds me –

check to see if you have one or more classmates who take exceptional notes – sometimes people will sell notes from previous classes too – well worth it! it gives you a chance to “fill in the gaps” from your own notes, and also sometimes get a different perspective on material. and any repetition of good info is helpful, i find, anyway – helps it to “stick”.

also your school likely will have a health center, and may offer special reduced rates for students for insurance and/or care. if possible, get back on a good med.

had i known then what i know now, i would have persued dx and tx way back, and think ….well, you know….how life and my experience of it could have been very different….

i just realized that a few of the posts i’ve been responding to are quite old, but i’ll post anyway – probably others in the same boat

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

another overweight mom of 2(almost 8, and 4 1/2 yo) here. i’m 47yo – still hard for me to wrap my head around being over 30 lol. son has asd but suspect he and i are both add as well. i’m guilty of the laundry mountains too (and desk mountains and dish mountains)…laundry mostly it gets done when 1 or more of us are out of underwear/socks…and we have lots! the funny thing is i don’t even mind doing laundry, especially on those rare occasions i’m alone – as opposed to just about every other aspect of keeping the home clean and organized. although when i’m “in the mode” , usually fueled by massive amounts of caffeine (starbucks,monster anyone?) i do a pretty incredible job getting stuff done, though it may take all day and night, and only happens if i don’t have the kids with me…..and then i can barely walk because my body hurts so much by the time i’m done. and then i get so frustrated because after all the work i did to find all the pieces to the many games/puzzles/toys and collect all the scattered books and papers and school and art supplies etc and put them away in super organized way so everything is in its place and together with like items and such so they can actually find and play with/use their things…within a day or so it looks like a tornado hit again. and my desk and paperwork….just can’t seem to make a dent…every paper it seems is a distraction…a walk down memory lane or catalyst for thoughts/ideas for future. i’ve had to start and restart my tax preparations over and over and over because i keep misplacing the papers, and i just dread the thought and feel so overwhelmed that the times i actually work on it are spread apart by months and years…which is probably why i always have to keep finding/re-organizing the paperwork over and over……yes, procrastination should have been my middle name. i’m the worst.

a few of the jokes/sayings my mother loved to share about me with me and anyone else within earshot over the years: the first time “dr. marv” (ped) saw me – i was in for my first check up after being adopted – he said i looked healthy/normal but i would need a girdle when i get older (yes, that one was always particularly funny to me…not!), and another was (because i was always late) “you’re going to be late for your own funeral!”, and “you march to the beat of a different drummer”. and my dad used to say “you have 2 speeds: slow and stop.”….which is only partially accurate, as he’s never really seen me when i’m “in the mode” at work or when i was studying for school….which is unfortunately not every day at work or when studying….but that’s for another post

back when i was single and housesitting for about 5 months, and the washer broke where i was living, and the guy who was supposed to come and fix it(son of the owner) couldn’t quite manage to make it by to take a look at it, i wound up going and buying new shirts, pants/skirts and underwear, and doing hand wash, to avoid going to laundymat. it wasn’t a total waste though since i bought things that i continued to wear for years. i don’t have that luxury now – money is way too tight since my work has been pretty erratic and not nearly enough for several months now.

anyway, came to this post when i searched “synaptol” – seeking feedback from anyone who has tried it. although i think i would really benefit from rx med, i’m still breastfeeding(doing the extended bf/child-led weaning thing) so have obvious concerns that i have to do research on; and for my son, he may be candidate for rx med but also have concerns re side effects etc….so….looking for safer alternatives to try – as long as there is reason to believe effective. already started DHA/omega 3, vitamin D, probiotics, a multivitamin, and “attentive child” which has mg,zinc, l-aspartate,DMAE, phosphatidylserine, grape seed extract. i know these things aren’t fast-acting like meds, but figure if i start him on them now, then by august when he starts the new school year he’ll be off to a better start(hopefully). for me, i’m going to do blood/urine/hair tests for myself first to deterime “foundational” supplements/address any underlying issues, and also do more research on meds and breastfeeding. maybe i’ll start ds on synaptol or other homeopathic too in august.

any info/feedback would be appreciated!

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

yeah i was wondering too if anyone has experience with this. i keep seeing the ads, and know homeopathic meds are about the safest choice you could possibly make, but would like some feedback on effectiveness from the community here?

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

definitely should have this investigated, could be brain seizure or other disorder – sounds like it’s pretty disruptive/bothersome. it happens to me once in a while, but so infrequent it never bothered enough to look into it further. i also have experienced scent hallucinations, but again, not on a regular basis and not too bothersome.

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

you’re very welcome robbo – hope that was helpful.

your posts, in my humble opinion, are not craziness at all. just honest and open thoughts and feelings – and lots of caring as well. but i do understand the time management issues, sleep issues, and now concern re anonymity. perhaps you’ll want to consider adopting an alternate screen name for discussing things you want to keep anonymous? maybe use a timer for what time you’re allowing for reading/ posting here? just some thoughts…

gotta run

peace

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

wow! and why is this not being done for every person with developmental delays/aut/add dx?

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

hey robbo! from what i know, some narcotic pain meds, for example Norco(hydrocodone/APAP) and MSContin, while in many people cause a feeling of tiredness/sleepiness, in others cause a feeling of speediness and difficulty sleeping. also, many non-narcotic meds commonly prescribed to help neuropathic pain such as gabapentin/neurontin and elavil/amitriptyline cause drowsiness and difficulty getting up in the morning/morning fog. if this is the case, you can try taking these meds earlier in the eve and see if this helps the morning groggy feel and difficulty sleeping. if it doesn’t help there are other meds in the same class(es) you could try. i would suggest changing one at a time to help clear up what’s doing what. this, of course, is not medical advice…..just “if i were in your shoes, this is what i’d want to consider trying, with the approval of my personal dr”

also, have you ever done or considered SCS?

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

hi robbo….wow you have been through a lot!!!!! i’m glad you had the pump removed……

re the pain, search TMJ(temporalmandibular joint) dysfunction and also trigeminal neuralgia, see if your symptoms match. for tmj problems you’ll want to see a dentist that specializes in this, if possible, for evaluation and treatment. for trigeminal neuralgia you’ll want to see a neuro or pain management specialist – they’re not all bad!

i don’t know what you do for a living, but have you ever considered being a therapist yourself?

because i think i am not alone, really enjoy reading your posts, there is a certain wisdom/empathy/calming quality you share in your writing…..just a thought

and, getting more in touch with spirituality…yes,i need to start working/focusing more on that again….the “temporary fixes” aren’t fixing anything….

oh – and likely and of course can go in the same sentence/same topic

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

and thanks robbo for sharing the desiderato – it’s beautiful – i think i’m going to look for a plaque too to have a daily reminder

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

hope it works out for you both abby! keep us posted ((hug))

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

abbey normal, i don’t think there’s a games over rule unless one or both of you have decided that it is. if you both want to continue, you’ll find a way. sometimes we say/do hurtful things we wish we could take back, right? i know i certainly have. she probably feels like sh$% having said that to you, and doesn’t know how to go forward, or doesn’t want to address it for fear of re-opening the wound, or doesn’t want to shine the light on her own imperfection.

maybe it would be helpful to write her a note/letter telling her how hurt you were by the comment, but that you’re now looking at it as a possible catalyst to improve your communication and help your friendship thrive again. and she’ll then have time to really mull it over before having to respond. personally, i find it much easier to organize my thoughts and what i really want to convey if i write a letter – especially when i’m really emotionally charged . perhaps suggest that if there are specifics that bother her, she could tell you, and then you can see if theres a way (s) to work on those things. or maybe it’s not something you can or want to work on on, and you’ll just go your separate ways, perhaps just remembering eachother on birthdays and holidays, maybe doing lunch once a year to catch up, and then…who knows?

and that facebook comment…..your reaction seems to me, yeah, kind of knee-jerk, i’m guessing because you are already disenchanted with the friend, one foot out of the door of the relationship? are you looking for a reason/excuse to say “that’s it – i’m done with her!”?

REPORT ABUSE

[g.laiya]

been reading these posts since i found this site ,thanks to the pbs show, and often feel like i’m reading a page from my diary…not that i keep one for fear of someone else reading it and knowing my secrets, but you get the idea…..sometimes i’m chuckling, sometimes tears, often just thinking “yep…uh huh…..”

so very very glad to find a place to connect with others who “march to the beat of a different drummer”, hoping this will lead to finding a way(s) to a better life

ps not diagnosed, but i have very strong feeling …..it seems to fit well

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts